


let me protect you

by windflour



Category: Mamamoo
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bodyguard, F/F, actress yong, bodyguard byul, gets intense at the end whoop, read the foreword its important!!, slipped in wheesa just because
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:37:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 24
Words: 98,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24930157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/windflour/pseuds/windflour
Summary: Moon Byulyi graduated at the top of her class at the bodyguard academy, but was grounded to desk duty after an incident. Her first job back in the field happened to be for an A-list actress, Kim Yongsun, who rejected the very idea of her personal space being invaded by a guard. But the security detail proved necessary, as her fanbase grew, and when mysterious letters and messages threatened her life.(cross-post on aff)
Relationships: Kim Yongsun | Solar/Moon Byulyi | Moonbyul
Comments: 123
Kudos: 398





	1. chapter one

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fic initially posted on AFF, and this cross-post has been done with the permission of the original author, lifeismoonsun, on AFF. 
> 
> I'm co-author SY, and I've taken over the writing and completion of LMPY. The fic was originally left unfinished, and so the author had kindly given me permission to basically rewrite the story and complete it as I wish, but I still want to keep the parts that made me love this fic in the first place. The storyline would remain unchanged, except for a few bits here and there. I've made major edits to the writing style to better fit my own, changed dialogue styles and specific plot points, but kept the main ideas and storyline intact. To make it clearer, chapter 1-7 is originally written by lifeismoonsun, with edits done to it as mentioned above by me. Chapter 8 onwards would be continued and written by me, with small bits and ideas inspired by the original story. 
> 
> If you've previously read the story, I hope you give it a second go around, just so you don't miss the new edits and plot points that I've sprinkled in, and I hope you'll look forward to my weekly updates. I will update a new chapter punctually every Wednesday and Sunday on both ao3 and aff, starting from 12 June, and don't worry, the story is already completed on my part, and just requires editing, so you don't have to worry about not having an ending. 
> 
> With that said, happy reading! Yell on Twitter about it, share the link, give lifeismoonsun some love on AFF as well. 
> 
> link to aff: [LMPY on aff](https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1298658/let-me-protect-you)
> 
> While waiting for the updates, [stream Absence](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NXnP06Ial08) and also, [sign the petitions, donate, be on the right side of history](https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/).

"Please move back. Don't push." A voice shouted amidst the screams.

"Kim Yong Sun!"

"Solar unnie!"

"Noona!"

"Stand back! Give way guys. Stop pushing!”

"Solar! Look! Unnie!"

Yongsun grabbed onto the shirt of the person in front of her. She walked behind her as closely as possible, fearing she would be lost in the crowd otherwise. She cursed under her breath, wanting nothing but to just go home after a long day of filming. Someone apparently leaked their filming location and now tons of fans are piling into the cramped lobby of the filming location. She finally wiggled her way through the swamp of fangirls and boys to her car, climbing in and plopping herself further into the seat and sighed.

"I had enough of this. We need to do something about it or you will get injured one day." The same voice said. 

"What can you do about it? Get me a bodyguard?" Yongsun scoffed.

"Yes." The other girl stared defiantly at her.

"What? Wheein ah. I was just being sarcastic!" Yongsun panicked, dreading the idea of another person following her around all the time. 

"I am not. Your safety is at stake here. You have more fans now and it's a lot harder to control them. We need someone professional, we are paying good money here." Wheein replied sternly.

"They are just excited. They won't hurt me." Yongsun argued.

"You wouldn't know that, and I don't want to find out." Wheein bit back, crossing her arms. 

Yongsun pouted in silence, trying to find words to talk her manager out of it. "I don't really have any privacy to myself already. Now with a bodyguard, I'm going to have none with him following me around." 

"Unnie ah. You know how much I care about you. Please just give in this time?" Wheein pleaded, the sincerity and concern shining in her eyes. 

Of course Yongsun knew how much Wheein cared about her. Ever since they met through a mutual friend when they were younger, they became best friends almost immediately. Yongsun had always taken care of Wheein like a younger sister, rewarding her with nice meals every time Wheein topped her classes in school. Years later, when Yongsun decided to pursue acting, Wheein was her first fan, supporting her by helping her with her auditions, the search for companies, and practice. Wheein was Yongsun's manager even before it was officially her job. It was as much as it was Wheein's dream for Yongsun to make it as it was Yongsun's. She will never be able to properly express it, but Yongsun was beyond grateful for her best friend. And so yes, she knew who she was to Wheein, and how much the younger girl loved and protected her.

"I can’t say no to this face, can I?" She relented, leaning forward to poke Wheein’s dimple.

"Yay! Rest well till tomorrow unnie. It's going to be a long day for you." Wheein cheered, satisfied with the win. 

* * *

The sound of punching and focused shouts filled the training room.

“Stand up. Go again.”

“Nope. Unnie-ah, I'm out." Seulgi surrendered, groaning as she propped herself up with her fists.

Moonbyul walked towards their bags to grab a towel, wiping away the beads of sweat that were rolling down her neck.

"What's with you today? So much rage." Seulgi said, walking over to Moonbyul.

"I got my new post." She sighed.

"They finally let you back into the field?" There was surprise in her voice as she asked. 

"So who are you guarding next? Mrs. President? Or Lee Hyori? Or some CEO?"

"No. No. And no." Each option got more ridiculous than the next, Moonbyul thought, shaking her head.

"Then who?" The other girl was getting impatient.

"Kim Yongsun.” It was barely a mumble under her breath, but the other girl heard anyway.

"The actress Kim Yongsun? Solar-ssi?" Seulgi yelled as she grabbed onto her own sweat soaked hair in excitement.

"Why are you so excited? Are you that happy seeing me suffer?" Moonbyul grunted childishly.

"No. I'm her fan! She's so pretty and cute at the same time. Her dramas are so good." Seulgi gushed about the actress beside the annoyed Moonbyul.

"Really? I've never watched it before," she lied.

"What? How could you not have watched it? It's everywhere." Seulgi gasped.

"Seulgi ah. You should watch less dramas and focus on training." Moonbyul playfully pushed her head slightly.

Back home, Moonbyul sighed in the shower. It had been months since she last stepped into the field, ever since the incident happened. Her new clients came requesting for the top bodyguard, and the Academy pushed her forward, citing her top honours graduation and extensive resume of ex-clients. But deep down, she wasn’t sure if she was ready. Especially not if the new client happened to be an A-list celebrity whose fan base she knew had a reputation of being wildly passionate.

She stepped out of the shower, and despite it being almost past eleven at night, she changed into a dress shirt and slacks, before heading out to Hyejin’s pub.

Moonbyul and Hyejin go way back, way back in high school. They became close because of one incident, that one incident that still lingered in their minds. Back when Hyejin was a freshman, Moonbyul was her senior of two years. Hyejin looked and sounded tough, but she was incredibly soft-spoken. While the rest of the students were loud and grouped up into cliques, Hyejin preferred quieter, alone times. Perhaps it was her quieter disposition that made her a target of the bullies, who one day decided to corner her and egg her. Hyejin was defenceless, one against four, and she wasn't brave enough to fight back. She could only crouch down and protect her face with her hands. But suddenly, it stopped. The attack stopped, and the girls were groaning in pain. She looked up and saw a figure, with their back facing her. Her fists were clenched where they had just connected with the bully’s faces. She turned around and helped Hyejin up, Hyejin’s own jaw still dropped in shock. A petite girl like that beat up a group of bullies and won. 

"They were making too much noise. They woke me up," she said in between her yawns.

Hyejin looked dazed and stared at her, mouth agape.

"Hi, I'm Moon Byulyi. You can call me Moonbyul." The girl offered her hand.

Hyejin stretched out her own to shake the bloodied hand. That incident bloomed into a close friendship, Moonbyul always protecting Hyejin from any mean company that might come along and Hyejin continuing to be Moonbyul's one and only friend.

Moonbyul went to Hyejin’s pub almost every night ever since it's opening. Alcohol was one way to get Moonbyul to uncharacteristically talk about her feelings and if there was anyone she would share them with, it was Hyejin and only Hyejin. The place was comfortable and wasn’t rowdy, just the way Moonbyul liked it. She hated crowds, and it was a good thing that the patrons there were mostly regulars.

"So, what's wrong with you?" Hyejin asked over the bar counter.

"I'm screwed, Hyejin ah."

"Oh, straight to the point without me prying? You really are screwed. What's wrong?"

"I got a new job post today."

"Wait. Did they let back on the field? Shouldn't you be happy?" She asked, raising an eyebrow in question.

"I was. Until I found out." She replied, taking a swig at the drink her friend automatically handed her.

"Who who? President of China?" Hyejin took pleasure in being annoyingly sarcastic. 

"That actress." She grunted as she scratched her scalp, messing up her hair.

" _That_ actress? Kim Yongsun?" Hyejin dropped the dishcloth in her hand and raised her voice a little too loudly in shock.

"Ya! Keep it down!" Moonbyul almost threw something at her, shushing Hyejin as she scanned around to see if anyone heard her, but fortunately for her the music was too loud.

"The one that you…" Moonbyul jumped up and covered Hyejin's mouth before she could continue.

"Stop it." She whined.

Hyejin burst out laughing. She was clapping her hands in the air as if it's something to celebrate. Moonbyul rolled her eyes in annoyance, knowing exactly why Hyejin was so happy, but she wasn't helping. Moonbyul could only sigh. 

"Bring her here next time." Hyejin hopped around in her excitement as she continued with her cleaning up.

"Would never. Over my dead body. Never in a million years.” Moonbyul recited, sticking her tongue out at her best friend.

"Aww there there. This one's on the house. We good?" Hyejin teased as she opened a new bottle of beer in front of Moonbyul.

“Now we are cool,” she said as she tipped the cool bottle back and let the alcohol wash down her throat. 

Hyejin sighed and then smirked, giggling sadistically at the thought of Moonbyul suffering as her crush’s bodyguard.

* * *

"Yongsun unnie, your new bodyguard is coming today. Be nice, okay?" Wheein said, nudging Yongsun who was slouching on the couch.

Yongsun remained silent and nodded, though the disdain in her eyes showed how unhappy she was.

"Stop pouting. Your bodyguard is here." Wheein announced, patting her knee to get her attention as Yongsun looked up and saw a slender woman with dark chocolate brown hair.

"This is Moon Byul Yi, from BG Academy." Wheein introduced Moonbyul as she walked through the door.

"Nice to meet you Yongsun-ssi. You can just call me Moonbyul." She greeted, bowing politely at Yongsun.

"Just to let you know, I didn’t want a bodyguard. In fact, I would pay you to leave me alone." Yongsun challenged, sounding bored. Silently, she sized the girl up, observing that she looked nothing like how she imagined a bodyguard should look. How was this girl going to protect her from those insane crowds of people? Though she never voiced these thoughts out loud, she knew it was reflected in her pointed gaze.

Wheein panicked a little, sensing the polar shift in the atmosphere all of a sudden. She turned to Moonbyul, pleasantly surprised that the guard didn’t so much as react to these words, still maintaining a cordial slight smile on her face. Moonbyul's blood was boiling but she couldn't show it, she needed to stay professional. 

"I assure you that I would respect your privacy, as long as you respect that it is my job to keep you safe.” She replied, not letting even a hint of anger leak into her voice.

"Whatever. Just do what you need to do, but three rules." She held her fingers up. 

"Name it."

"One. No personal questions. Two. We’re strictly professional, don’t expect special treatment. Three. Give me personal space if I ask for it.”

"You have my word." Moonbyul said calmly, internally reeling from how different this Solar was from the persona she was in front of the cameras.

"You better. Three strikes and you are out."

"Ya!" Wheein would hit Yongsun on her arm had she not been older than her. "Don't listen to her. That's not going to happen. We have absolute faith in you and your expertise, Miss Moon."

"Please call me Moonbyul.” She replied, wanting so much to just chuckle out loud at how childish this scene was.

“I'll call you unnie then, is that fine?" Wheein was an adorable girl, Moonbyul admitted to herself, endearing and charming in every way Yongsun was obviously trying hard not to be.

"Yes, that's fine with me." Moonbyul smiled politely. 

"Okay then. Let's go. Your first schedule starts in an hour." Wheein instructed the irritated actress, motioning her to get ready. 

"Wait here please, I will make sure there are no crowds outside." The guard requested, stepping through the door. 

"So troublesome." Yongsun rolled her eyes and mumbled, receiving a nudge from her manager for her bluntness.

Moonbyul ignored the comment and headed outside to take a look anyway. She was just doing her job, nothing wrong, she kept telling herself. 

She confirmed that there were no fans or waiting reporters, opening the door for them and signalling that it's okay to come out. Moonbyul overtook them and stood by the sliding door as they climbed in, making sure that they were seated comfortably before closing it. She took the seat beside the driver and sat there quietly the entire journey.

It was clear that Wheein was only making attempts at breaking the ice when she started going through Yongsun’s schedule half of the way through. 

"Moonbyul unnie, here is the schedule for the month. As long as Yongsun's on schedule or outside for events and shoots, you are on duty. Is that fine with you?" Wheein passed a file to Moonbyul.

"Yes, of course I’m fine with that. I've been briefed by your CEO earlier. Thank you Wheein." She replied as she accepted the file.

Moonbyul flipped through the stack of papers to take a look at her schedule and gasped silently. Yongsun's schedule was packed for the entire month with minimal rest. ' _This is what a top class actress's schedule looks like huh?_ ' Moonbyul thought to herself. She was in for one hell of a month too then, since her working hours were dependent on Yongsun's.

"If there's any issue, please do not hesitate to let me know." Wheein smiled sheepishly at her through the rear mirror.

"It’s her job, Wheein." Yongsun scoffed, surprising herself with how much of a five-year-old child she could be when she wanted to. 

"I will. Thank you, Wheein." Moonbyul forced a smile back at her in the rear mirror, ignoring Yongsun once again.

Upon arriving, Moonbyul got down and stood by the backseat doors. There were a few fans waiting outside the filming location. She wondered how they could have possibly found out about it since it's usually not publicised. _Fans can do anything they set their mind to,_ she thought. She herded a few fans away from the door, making sure they were a safe distance away before knocking gently on the car's window, signalling that it was safe to alight. Cameras started flashing the second the door opened, the fans pushing and shoving their way to the front, with Moonbyul barricading them from her clients. Wheein hugged Yongsun close to her, making sure no one touched her, but of course she had Moonbyul for that now. Moonbyul walked in front of them, clearing a path for them as Yongsun smiled and waved to some of her fans. She pushed her way through to the door carefully. 

"Unnie, go straight up and change please." Wheein instructed into Yongsun’s ear, raising her voice to be heard over the screaming fans.

Moonbyul stepped aside to follow Yongsun, but was stopped by Wheein’s hand on her arm. She turned to face Wheein, raising her eyebrows in question. 

"I need to talk to you." The younger girl whispered, making sure Moonbyul was the only one who could hear her. 

Moonbyul nodded and they waited for Yongsun to be out of earshot. Wheein dragged Moonbyul behind a wall, away from the cameras and crowds. She followed silently, wondering what Wheein needed to tell her so urgently. 

"What's going on, Wheein?" Once they were alone, with no one else in sight, Moonbyul broke the silence. 

"I’m sorry for Yongsun unnie’s behaviour. She's usually not like this. Please do not take it to heart." Wheein said apologetically, her face full of worry.

For some reason, she thought all managers were strict, unfeeling and demanding bosses. Wheein’s sincerity shocked her, and she chuckled at the girl’s unintentional puppy eyes.

"You don't have to say sorry. I understand, it won't affect my work, don’t worry." Moonbyul gave Wheein a reassuring smile.

"I'm glad, unnie. I'm really sorry. She’s not a childish or rude person at all, it will just take some time for her to warm up to you. Just bear with her for a while, okay?”

"Wheein, don't worry. It's fine." Moonbyul replied, reassuring her once again.

"Thank you for being so understanding." Wheein smiled warmly.

They headed to the dressing room together where Yongsun was, falling into easy conversation on the way there.

* * *

Filming went on for hours and Moonbyul was immersed in watching Yongsun's acting. Her professionalism impressed everyone, including Moonbyul. She could tell that Yongsun was tired from repeating her lines over and over again, but she didn't complain or let her frustration show at all. She helped the junior actor along with her lines, stepping comfortably into her sunbaenim role. When it was finally time for her to take a break, Yongsun returned to the waiting room assigned to her by the crew. Wheein appeared with a few boxes of food and everyone gathered around the table to dig in. 

"Unnie, come and join us. I bought your share too." She called out when she realised that Moonbyul was just standing by the door.

"It's okay. I will eat later." Moonbyul caught the way Yongsun kept her eyes on her food, not even bothering to look up or invite her over out of courtesy, and decided she would rather stand in her corner. 

Wheein tried going over to drag her to the table herself, but as much as she didn't want to turn the girl down, she didn't want to eat with them knowing Yongsun didn’t want her to. After grabbing a lunch box, she decided on a half-arsed excuse.

"Thank you Wheein, but I will eat outside. There isn’t any space here anyway. Enjoy your dinner." She threw a smile around the table before excusing herself out of the room. She found a corner by the back and ate in silence. She was used to eating alone on the job, so it didn’t really matter to her. She just hated Kim Yongsun's attitude, and she poked at her rice with her spoon, wondering just how that actress coped with meeting new people if that’s how she reacted to every stranger she met. 

Back at the dinner table, Yongsun actually felt bad when Moonbyul left. She stole a glance at the guard just as she disappeared around the corner. She knew she had problems warming up to people, especially when it wasn’t the standard delivery of PR-training to regular few groups of directors and fellow actors and actresses. She didn’t want to admit it, but deep down she knew that her coldness was just a side effect of her fear of letting people in.

After a short half hour break, Yongsun returned promptly to the set. Filming went on for another three hours, until it was 2am in the morning. Moonbyul found herself grateful that that day’s filming wasn’t outdoors when she stepped foot outside to get some fresh air and realised how cold it was. Her breath fogged up in the chilly air, and her fingertips were numbed out from cold. Once the filming had ended, they packed up, returning the waiting room to its original state before leaving. Like before, Moonbyul surveyed the area from the exit to the car before letting Yongsun and Wheein leave the premises. 

The chauffeur first sent Wheein home since her house was nearest to the filming site. She rejected at first, but Yongsun insisted, the driver listening to her with a soft smile. 

' _So she can be kind too huh?_ ' Moonbyul thought to herself.

"Unnie, could you ensure that Yongsun unnie reaches home safely?" Wheein asked, tapping Moonbyul on her shoulders from behind when they were five minutes away from her house.

"I will see her to her door myself. Don't worry. Rest well, Wheein-ah." Moonbyul nodded, smiling into the rear mirror.

Wheein alighted, standing at the drop-off and waving at them until the car drove away. 

The inside of the car returned to an uncomfortable silence. Yongsun plugged her earpiece in aggressively, her hands fidgeting with the wires. The music started playing, and it was so loud that Moonbyul wondered firstly, _what’s the use of putting on earpieces then_ and secondly, if being in the same space as Moonbyul truly was bad enough that she was willing to sacrifice her hearing to drown out the awkwardness. 

Yongsun would either check her SNS during the trip back home or take a nap. Moonbyul wasn't particularly upset about the silence because she would rather not talk to the Yongsun at that point, seeing that she didn’t exactly enjoy her being by her side all day. Once they arrived at Yongsun's building, Moonbyul told the driver to go home. 

"I live nearby, I can walk." She said, assuring the driver. 

Though it's late, the driver did not feel the need to insist otherwise since Moonbyul should be capable enough of protecting herself. The two girls alighted the car, Moonbyul running over to Yongsun’s side of the door before she could walk away any further.

"Go. I can go up myself." Yongsun stopped, shooing Moonbyul away.

"It's my job and I promised Wheein earlier,” came the reply in a cold and authoritative voice. 

Yongsun scoffed and walked off, making Moonbyul sigh at her actions. 

' _She really is a diva_.' She thought, rolling her eyes after Yongsun turned around. Just how long was she planning to keep this façade up for? Moonbyul followed behind her, standing at least a metre away in the lift. Once they reached the floor to her unit, Yongsun reached for her keys but halted. She turned around and glared at Moonbyul. 

"I'm here now. Go."

Moonbyul used her eyes to motion Yongsun to enter the house. The actress rolled her eyes without any subtlety, shoving her hand in her bag to fish for her keys.

She unlocked the door, opening it just enough to let herself in before slamming it close. Moonbyul stared at the woodgrains on the door just inches from her face, sighing to herself. 

At least she was home safe, and the day had therefore ended. She walked in the dark quietly, running through every interaction with Yongsun today in her mind. It was nothing short of ridiculous how her first day went, and naturally, with her mind full of thoughts, she headed for Hyejin’s bar instead of home.

She arrived to find that her best friend was cleaning up for closing. 

"Thank god you are still here," she grunted as she entered Hyejin's pub. 

"Good evening to you too, unnie.", Hyejin said sarcastically as Moonbyul went behind the bar to grab a beer like as if she co-owned the place. 

"Rough day?" Hyejin asked, already chuckling at how sulky Moonbyul looked, as the guard in question cleanly chugged half the bottle down. 

"Worst." She glared at Hyejin. 

“It can't be that bad. How was Kim Yongsun, come on, tell me."

"If you pass me another bottle." She was already close to done with the first bottle.

"Fine. But two max. Aren’t you working tomorrow?" Hyejin relented, opening another bottle, passing it to her. 

"Don't remind me." Moonbyul whined dramatically. “Besides, you know alcohol is part of the training, right?”

Her best friend’s melodrama made Hyejin burst out laughing, and it sparked her curiosity. 

"I'm waiting. How was she like?" She pried for more information.

"Absolutely what I thought a top-tier actress would be like. A snobby diva, even though her manager insists she isn’t." Moonbyul grumbled, busying her fingers on the side of her glass. 

"Really? She didn't seem like that though." Hyejin scratched her chin.

"It was one day. You saw her one day. How can you tell?" She scoffed at the other girl. 

"Oh yeah? Today was your first day too. Give it time, unnie."

"I can't do this anymore." Moonbyul whined even more, looking like a child throwing a tantrum. 

Hyejin giggled with glee at her antics, laughing at her misery as all friends do. The girls finished the rest of the clean-up, before walking home together. Moonbyul did not forget to end the night by complaining even more about having to see Yongsun again the next day, and Hyejin bade her farewell at that, running away from the whiny child that is her unnie.


	2. chapter two

Days passed and everything was as it was. Yongsun continued with her filming while Moonbyul continued to tag along everywhere she went, making sure that she was well taken care of. There were times when she wondered how this A-list celebrity and her manager ever went anywhere without security detail, because her fans seemed capable of showing up everywhere before they even arrived themselves.

Filming had been indoors for those few days and everything went smoothly. Moonbyul continued to eat by herself at the back of a corner. Yongsun kept expressing her frustrations whenever Moonbyul insisted things to be done, such as seeing her to her door and watching her enter her apartment before leaving. Wheein had to step between them often to mediate, but she found herself having to throw her friend apologetic looks more often than not when she had to side with Moonbyul with matters concerning Yongsun’s safety.

Truth be told, both Moonbyul and Yongsun did want to get closer and cut out all the tension between them, but it was awkward to initiate things and it was nothing like their personalities to take the first step. So, Moonbyul continued to stay on her side of the room and not overstep while Yongsun continued to keep her walls up.

Work would end late into the night most days, leaving Yongsun usually too tired to even think of going out afterwards. There was an exception one night, when she promised her actress friend she would have supper with her after their shoot together. Chorong was a really nice person, from what Moonbyul could tell immediately. The actress came to her while Yongsun was filming her scenes, inviting her along for the meal.

“I have to go with her anyways, it would be late at night and I wouldn’t want to leave her to go back home on her own afterwards.” She replied, and Chorong looked pleased at that. “But I don’t think it would be nice to intrude, you two can have your meals and I would just wait outside.”

“Moonbyul-ssi, I’m sure Solar would want you to join us too.” Moonbyul internally snorted, wondering how great of an actress Yongsun and herself must be to appear even amicable to everyone else. In that moment, Yongsun reappeared, shrugging on her jacket and joining the two with a curious look on her face.

“What are you two talking about?” Yongsun asked, the slight smile on her face tinged with reserve.

“I’m inviting Moonbyul-ssi to our supper tonight, you wouldn’t mind, right?” Chorong answered her, the funny look on her friend’s face making her stumble on her words.

“That’s not necessary, Moonbyul would be tired from work the whole day.” Yongsun rushed to object, wording her reasoning as tactfully as she could. “Besides, the walk back home from the restaurant is short enough, I don’t need you to send me back.” She turned to her guard.

The director called for Chorong, and she left them, Wheein flying to their sides immediately when she saw that the two were left alone with a tangible tension between them.

As much as Yongsun argued, Wheein agreed with Moonbyul, insisting that she followed the actresses to the restaurant and made sure Yongsun reached home safely that night.

Moonbyul did her job dutifully, volunteering to chauffeur the actresses to the restaurant after filming wrapped, Chorong saying yes gratefully.

When they reached, Moonbyul made sure to maintain her distance, not too close but not too far out of sight. Chorong asked about Moonbyul, about the curious dynamics between them and the way they spent their journey not talking to each other at all.

Chorong and her had known each other for years, having met on set just about when Yongsun was still considered a newbie in the acting circle. So, she wasn’t a stranger to just how reserved Yongsun could be with newer people, but she had never seen her friend this awkward with anyone else before. Just as Chorong asked about Moonbyul, Yongsun turned to look at the girl in question. She was just standing by the company car she borrowed, arms folded across her chest and watching the people pass by her on the streets. She watched Moonbyul while she stood in the cold, waiting for her.

Her heart ached a little at the sight, and she briefly thought of inviting the girl in to get her some food to eat, or at least enjoy the warmth of the indoors. For some reason, she didn’t. They ended that night the same way as always, Moonbyul would see Yongsun enter her apartment and she would drop by Hyejin's pub before going home herself. Ever since Moonbyul started working for Yongsun, her days got longer and her nights shorter. She barely had time to sleep since she needed to wake up earlier in the morning to fetch Yongsun to the company, together with the driver.

The day that was scheduled for an outdoor filming happened to be one of the coldest days of the month. Wheein reminded Yongsun countlessly to bring her winter coat and she gave herself a lot of mental notes to not forget it during the entire morning, but she still forgot about it. She cursed herself in the car once she realized that she left it on the couch, dreading how long and cold the day was going to be for her.

Once they reached the location, the driver left the car and took another transport back to the office, since he had to drive one of the other actresses. Wheein needed to remain in the office to organise Yongsun's schedule and she left Yongsun in Moonbyul's care. Yongsun didn't wait for Moonbyul's usual signal to get off the car, since they were at a secluded area of Seoul and no one besides the crew were there. She ran to the tent set up by the crew, diving into the welcoming central heating. Moonbyul slowly made her way over too, just in time to hear the director call for the cast to get ready. Filming began smoothly and it didn't take long before they had to rearrange the equipment for the next scene.

The cast filed off the area and stood to the side where their managers and assistants were waiting, and Yongsun decided to head instead to the heat radiator by the tent’s corner. The heat radiator gave out pathetic, short bursts of warm air that honestly did more psychologically than it did to physically warm her up, but she would take it over nothing.

Everyone around was wrapped in layers of outerwear and thick coats, and there she was, hopping on her toes by a tiny radiator, with only a cotton fall coat on.

There was suddenly extra heat and weight on her shoulders, and she could no longer feel the rushing gusts of ice cold wind. She spun around, finding a fleece coat seated on her shoulders and Moonbyul standing behind her, looking like she just got caught red handed for something. The coat was evidently hers, the stripes on the sleeve reflecting the brand that the girl seemed to exclusively wear.

“I just thought you could use a coat.”

"I'm okay." She tried to shrug off the coat but was stopped by Moonbyul.

"It's okay. Use it, please." Moonbyul insisted.

"Then you are going to be cold too." Yongsun finally showed some concern for the girl.

"It doesn't matter. You can't get sick, you need to continue filming. Don't worry about it." She helped her wear the coat properly. Yongsun could sniff the subtle notes of Moonbyul’s fragrance left on the coat, deciding that it suited Moonbyul more than it did her.

"Thank you." Yongsun said, smiling gently at Moonbyul.

Moonbyul smiled back, standing beside Yongsun and sticking her hands above the heater when Yongsun instructed her to. Filming went on as per normal. Whenever Yongsun was called for her scenes, she would pass the thick coat back to its owner, who could finally get some respite from the freezing cold. If there were NG scenes, or if the crew needed time to set up for the next scene, Moonbyul will rush towards the actress and cover her with her coat. Yongsun was touched by these small gestures and felt bad for having to make the poor girl suffer in the cold, but she knew there was no talking Moonbyul out of it. Moonbyul would wiggle her legs unconsciously to get warm and Yongsun thought it was cute, but of course she wouldn't tell the girl. When it was time for their first meal, set up buffet-style under the tents, Moonbyul came over to put her coat back onto Yongsun, and she used this opportunity to invite Moonbyul to eat together, mainly since she knew nobody else there.

"Let's eat together." She could see Moonbyul’s eyes widen a little in surprise, before she quickly agreed happily.

They made their way to get their food and sit at the tables with the crew. They ate in silence, not knowing how to start a conversation, while the rest of the table chatted away. Moonbyul rubbed her arms to warm herself when she thought no one was looking, but Yongsun caught her doing so anyway.

"Cold?" Yongsun's face scrunched in concern.

"I'm okay. It's not that cold." She replied, smiling slightly at Yongsun.

"Do you want it back? I'm warmed up already." Yongsun said, motioning to remove her coat.

"No, it's okay. Just leave it on." Moonbyul insisted. She reached for the bowl across the table. “Here Yongsun-unnie, have some hot soup, it will get you warmer.”

Filming resumed as per normal and everything went smoothly after the meal, until a scene with one too many lines, causing an endless log of bad takes. Yongsun was frustrated and cold, and she was trying very hard not to let it show. The director decided to call for a 5-minutes break for the actors on set to rest a bit, while he gave his notes. Moonbyul did the same with the coat as before, but the wind was getting stronger and more biting against the skin by the second. It was still very cold even with how thick the coat was.

Yongsun jumped around slightly to fight the cold, breathing out into her hands for more warmth. Moonbyul sighed seeing the actress struggle against the elements. She reached into her suit and her back pockets, fishing out her heat pads and offered them to Yongsun. She grabbed Yongsun hands and stuffed it into her palms when Yongsun just stared back at her, flustered.

"No, no. I can't. You gave me the coat already." Yongsun couldn’t hide her shock.

"Put it on you, in your pocket. It can at least keep you warm during your scenes." Moonbyul suggested. “How are you going to act well when you’re so cold?”

Moonbyul sneezed, covering her face with her palms. Yongsun looked at her with concern written all over her face. She felt bad that a stranger, especially one that she had been so mean towards, was doing so much for her. It was Moonbyul's job to protect Yongsun, but it wasn’t her job to take care of her like that.

"But..." Before she could continue, Moonbyul cut her off.

"I'm okay. Just use it, so we can end earlier." Moonbyul smiled reassuringly. She was standing there in just her suit, which was very thin considering they were in sub-zero temperatures.

"Thank you, Moonbyul ah." Yongsun pried away from the eye contact and thanked her, calling Moonbyul by her name for the first time ever.

"Don't mention it." Moonbyul gave a nod of acknowledgement.

* * *

Filming continued for another hour and Yongsun was glad to have received the additional heat pads from Moonbyul. It helped her keep herself sane and stopped herself from shivering in the rough cold. She was more than thankful and glad, that at least if she was stuck out here in the cold, it was with Moonbyul. Once the director shouted for the cut to her last scene, Moonbyul grabbed all of Yongsun's belongings and rushed to help her wear the coat. Moonbyul sneezed on the way back to the car and she caught Yongsun taking off the coat, most likely to pass it back to her.

"Don't take it off. We are reaching anyway." Moonbyul stopped her.

Yongsun did not argue, and instead picked up her pace. She was glad that the car was heated, but the other girl was so cold from earlier that she was still shivering in the heat. Yongsun took her coat out immediately, draping it over Moonbyul’s shoulders.

“Don’t.” She held up a finger to stop Moonbyul when she resisted, “I’m warm. Wear the coat, no arguments.”

She caught the small hidden smile Moonbyul had on her face, and realised sadly that she was just happy to receive some compassion from her. How cruel was she before this?

On the way back to Yongsun's house, Moonbyul sneezed more times than Yongsun could keep track of. She tried to hide it, sniffling softly and roughly pinching her nose to try to stop the sneezes. She must have caught a cold, not surprisingly since she stood in the harsh cold with just her suit on for a whole day of filming. Yongsun felt bad, way more than she cared to admit.

"You didn't have to do this, you know?" She frowned.

"I know. I didn't do it because I have to. I did it because I want to." Moonbyul replied, still focusing on the road.

That caught Yongsun off guard. No one had ever done anything like this for her. True, she had plenty of fans that cared a lot for her. They bought food for her and her crew, they did special events to surprise her and many other things. But it was the little gestures that she really cared for and no one had ever put her before themselves like Moonbyul did before.

Moonbyul sniffled again and she was getting more concerned now.

"You’ve caught a cold because of me. Sorry." She said softly, genuinely feeling horrible about it.

"You don't have to be sorry. Like I said I did it on my own accord. And I'll be okay, I seldom get sick anyway." Her voice was already stuffy and slightly higher pitched than her normal low voice.

"Thank you, Moonbyul-ah."

"Stop thanking me, Solar-ssi." She smiled through the rear mirror.

"You don't have to be so formal, you know?" Yongsun scoffed.

"Well, I didn't want to overstep." Moonbyul mumbled.

"I heard from Wheein that you’re a year younger than me?" She looked back the girl in the mirror.

The guard nodded, her eyes flitting back and forth in anticipation.

"Then just call me unnie." Yongsun turned to look outside the window, not wanting her to take it as a proffer of friendship.

Moonbyul couldn't wipe the grin off her face. Yongsun was waiting for an acknowledgement or reply, but was greeted with silence.

"Why? Don't want to?" She tried sounding indifferent, but she wasn’t fooling anyone.

"No, of course I’ll call you that. Unnie." Moonbyul chuckled, focusing back on the road.

Yongsun smiled and couldn’t stop a smile from curving her face at the girl's reaction. She was beginning to get comfortable with her and she hoped that maybe they could get along in the near future. She knew she was the one holding them both back though, and sighed to herself, wishing that she could just get her shit together for once.

Moonbyul alighted promptly and jogged over to open the door for Yongsun when they reached her building.

"You don't have to send me up, it's cold. Hurry up and go home." Yongsun said as she hung the coat on Moonbyul’s arms.

"Not until I see you get into your apartment." Wrapping the coat back onto Yongsun while pulling her in the direction of the lobby at the same time, leaving the actress no choice but to follow along.

"Why can't you listen for once?” Yongsun whined as she let herself be guided to her own house.

"I'm still on duty. It's my job." A smirk formed on Moonbyul’s face, when she realised Yongsun was showing her her whiny and softer side.

Before she closed her door, Moonbyul reminded her of her schedule tomorrow. "I'll pick you up in the morning. Jungsu-ssi took an urgent day off to take care of his kid." She sniffled, sneezes punctuating her sentence as she accepted the coat from Yongsun.

"Didn’t realise I had two managers. Quick. Hurry up and go home already. Wear this." She nagged back at her as sternly as she could, pointing to the coat.

"I will. Rest well unnie." Yongsun watched until the girl entered the lift, before she closed the door and turned in for the night.

* * *

As usual, Moonbyul went over to Hyejin's bar. Her promise to Yongsun sat at the front of her mind, but visiting her best friend was so routine, it would be odd not to even go for a night.

Moonbyul sneezed out loud as she entered the pub, not bothering to stifle it or hide it like she had to in front of Yongsun earlier.

"Wow, unnie? What happened to you?" Hyejin looked up to greet her, her brows scrunching in concern when she saw how red the girl’s nose was.

"Outdoors filming today. Cold." She pouted, making her way behind the bar counter for the same drink.

"Did you stand naked in the cold? How did you get so sick?" Hyejin touched Moonbyul’s forehead, realising that it was warming up. Her hand got swatted away quickly. 

"I'm not sick." She said, before ironically sneezing again.

"Yeah, right. Look at yourself. You should go home, unnie-ah." Hyejin said in exasperation, watching as her friend helped herself to a drink and slipping the money for it into the drawer.

"Don’t nag at me, Hyejin. Had a long day, let me have this."

"Fine, but I'm cutting you off after this bottle." The younger girl replied, tipping her head towards the bottle in Moonbyul’s hands.

"Fine!" Moonbyul grunted childishly, and the two of them fell into easy conversations about their days.


	3. chapter three

The next morning, Moonbyul waited outside of Yongsun's door as promised. It was another cold day. The door swung open, revealing a Yongsun that jumped when she saw her, not expecting anyone to be leaning against her door frame when she opened it.

"You scared me, why did you come up? You could have just waited in the car." She grumbled, and turned around to make sure the door was locked properly.

"It's fine." Moonbyul was glad that Yongsun had her own coat draped over her shoulders, not particularly excited about the idea of spending another day in the freezing weather.

They made their way down to the car together, Yongsun pleased with how warm the car already was. After making sure Yongsun fastened her seatbelt, Moonbyul drove them both to the company for Yongsun to get her hair and makeup done. Yongsun noticed that Moonbyul was coughing a little, but she just kept quiet about it. While waiting for her to be done, Moonbyul sat by the far corner of the couch alone, letting her eyes shut for a moment.

“Good morning everybody!” A new presence crashed into the room, followed by the rousing smell of hot coffee.

Moonbyul opened her eyes, startled, relaxing when she saw that it was just Wheein, who noticed the unusually frail looking Moonbyul at the corner. She put the trays of coffee down on the table, politely smiling at the staff thanking her for the treat.

"Unnie, are you okay?” She asked, thinking twice about offering her a cup of caffeine when she looked like she needed a good rest.

"I’m okay, Wheein," Moonbyul tried to put a reassuring smile on her face, but her lidded eyes and hoarse voice gave it away.

"Are you sick? You look very pale, and god, your eye bags." Wheein gasped, reaching out to sweep Moonbyul’s bangs to the side, revealing the blueish hue under her eyes that her hair was hiding.

Yongsun glanced over to Moonbyul through the dresser mirror. She could see that Moonbyul did look more beaten than usual and exceptionally pale today. She averted her eyes before she could be caught staring, quickly picking up her phone to busy herself with it instead.

"Nope. I'm fine. Just a little tired." She leaned back when Wheein tried to lay a hand on her forehead, knowing she was warm to the touch.

The young manager cocked her head to the side, not quite convinced. She inwardly reminded herself to check up on her during the day.

While waiting for Yongsun to be done with her hair and makeup, chatter filled the room. Wheein was just getting started to talk about her day off when Moonbyul drowned her voice with a coughing fit. Realising that she was disrupting their conversation, she excused herself and left the room. Yongsun was unconsciously eyeballing Moonbyul as she walked towards the door.

“Ya unnie, what did you all do yesterday? Moonbyul unnie looks like she just returned from war.” Wheein walked over to the styling chair where Yongsun was, the actress immediately pretending she was doing anything but watching as the girl left.

"Just schedule. Filming." She answered indifferently.

"That's weird. Must be the weather then.” Wheein mused.

‘Weather’ was a gross understatement for the atrocity that was the freezing air of the location yesterday. She recalled the way Moonbyul stood out against the wintery backdrop in just her usual suit, hopping around on the spot to get warm.

"She might have given me her coat yesterday because I forgot mine." She mumbled guiltily under her breath.

"Unnie! I reminded you so many times that night!" Wheein slapped Yongsun’s arm lightly, exasperated.

"Ya! I said I forgot right?"

"And she gave you her coat? In that weather? She's so nice to you, maybe you should try talking to her more, unnie ah." Wheein knew she was rubbing it in, but Yongsun thought she kind of deserved the scolding.

“She gave it to me on her own accord, Wheein. And I don’t have anything to talk to her about, it’s just weird.”

Yongsun was guilty as it was and Wheein wasn’t making it better. She wasn't trying to make it better anyway.

"She's so sweet even when you're cold to her. I wouldn't even lend you my coat. Not in that weather."

"Stop making me feel bad, Jung Wheein." Yongsun shot daggers with her eyes at her manager.

"Oh, good. So you actually feel bad, huh?" She remarked jokingly, before turning to head back to the couch.

Once Yongsun was done preparing, they packed up and left. She emerged from the door, hearing muffled coughs coming from the hallway. A disoriented Moonbyul turned the corner, almost bumping into her.

“Ready to go?” Moonbyul asked, reaching out to take some of the bags from Wheein’s hands.

Wheein nodded gratefully, and together, they walked to the car. Cold harsh wind rushed in the moment the main door of the building opened. They shivered as it pricked at their skin, prompting them to wrap their coats more tightly around themselves.

The walk from the exit to the car was silent, except for the occasional sniffles and coughs coming from Moonbyul.

"Are you sure you are okay?" Wheein asked again.

"Yes I am, Wheein." Moonbyul smiled sincerely this time, touched by how much this girl cared about her.

"If you're not feeling well, say it. Don’t faint on the wheel.” Yongsun said blankly, receiving a warning nudge from Wheein.

"Don't worry, I won't crash the car. Can't afford to pay if you die." Moonbyul replied sarcastically.

Yongsun's face turned sour upon hearing that. She cursed herself for saying that, knowing it was unnecessarily sharp, but she couldn’t help that she had no filter to speak of. Wheein gave her a death glare from the side, silently chiding her for the words as she climbed into the car.

* * *

It wasn’t as cold that day, but it didn’t make it any less unbearable. Outdoor filming continued through the day at a different location, with minimal NGs happening as the crew and cast stepped up their efforts to wrap it up quickly. The actors and staff are all freezing in the cold but they fought through.

Moonbyul would wait by the side-lines with Wheein, holding onto Yongsun’s coat and ready to run in whenever the director shouted cut to hand it to her. She stifled her coughs and held in her sneezes, not wanting to draw too much attention to herself or disrupt any scenes.

Wheein excused herself to handle some matters a while later, before calling for Moonbyul when it was time for lunch.

“It’s okay, I’ll eat later.” She rejected politely, seeing how full the table was, seriously not having any appetite to stomach any food. Wheein eyed Yongsun expectantly, and the girl sighed dramatically in indignation.

"You should just join when people ask you nicely." Yongsun said, though she didn’t intend to sound as irritated as she did. She didn’t see Moonbyul eat anything at all since they arrived, and knew she had to at least eat a little if she wanted to recover properly at all.

Moonbyul stared back at Yongsun a little too long, with an unreadable look in her eyes, causing her to furrow her eyebrows in response.

"Okay." Moonbyul finally agreed.

As they were digging in, the cold air got thicker and the warm food got cold too fast. Moonbyul couldn’t help the sniffles and struggled to eat anything more than a few spoonfuls of rice.

"Unnie, it sounds worse now. Would you like to rest in the car? We'll be fine here. There's no one around." Wheein suggested, handing Moonbyul a heat pad from her bag.

"Nah, it's fine." She accepted the heat pad gratefully, taking a sip of her coke.

Yongsun sighed and got up, walking away from the table to the buffet table, pouring herself three cups of hot coffee from the dispenser. When she returned to the table, she placed each cup in front of the girls, snatching away Moonbyul's coke right out of her hands.

"You are sick, and you’re drinking this? Look at it, it's turning into slush already." Yongsun scolded, throwing the cup straight into the trash.

"Drink this." Yongsun pushed the cup of hot beverage towards her.

It took a moment for Moonbyul to stop staring at her now-empty hands in shock, before obediently cupping her hands around the cup of hot coffee for warmth and thanking Yongsun timidly.

Wheein looked on from the side, pleased, knowing that Yongsun was beginning to open up and was truly concerned for the sick girl. Yongsun turned to glare at Wheein who was trying to control her giggles.

"What?" She snapped, sitting back down in her chair.

"Nothing! Unnie, I'm cold." Wheein replied, wiping the mischievous grin off her face and replacing it with an endearing pout, tugging her arm under Yongsun's and resting her head on her shoulder.

Their interaction brought a smile onto Moonbyul’s face, who peered at them over the rim of her steaming cup. Shortly after the meal, they returned to the set to continue with filming. The director initially planned to end filming before evening, the staff therefore not having had meals prepared for their dinner.

Things did not go smoothly however, with one too many technical faults and lighting problems, filming dragged beyond a little after ten at night and everyone was starving. Wheein took off then, having to turn in early for her meeting early the next morning. She ran through the schedule for the morning with Moonbyul, before entrusting Yongsun to her and leaving in a cab.

There was a rumble in Moonbyul’s stomach, reminding her that it was late and that it probably meant Yongsun must be hungry too. She drove to a convenience store a short distance away, grabbing everything she wanted before returning to set.

It's a little shy 11pm and the filming finally wrapped. The director’s ‘Cut!’ was a relief to everyone, including Yongsun who immediately looked for Moonbyul in the crowd, who was gathering her belongings and waving her hand to catch her attention. They walked in silence to the car, Moonbyul opening the door to the back seat for Yongsun. Instead of getting in, Yongsun just stared blankly at the other girl.

"What's wrong?" Moonbyul raised an eyebrow in question.

She was spacing out, was what. Under the moonlight, it was the first time Yongsun took so much notice of the younger girl's facial features. It made her wonder why she hadn’t noticed how pretty Moonbyul was before, with her sharp and strong features. Even in the dimness of midnight, she could see the purpling under the girl’s eyes, a pang of guilt hitting her.

Yongsun shook her head after a moment.

"It's just the two of us. I'll take the front seat." She said, opening the door to the passenger seat on her own.

Moonbyul reappeared beside her in the driver’s seat. Before she started the car, she grabbed a plastic bag sitting on the dashboard and laid it down on Yongsun's lap.

"I figured you would be hungry by now. Have this." Moonbyul said, driving out of the location’s carpark.

Yongsun fiddled with the plastic bag and fished out two sandwiches and a bottle of strawberry milk. Her eyes fell back onto Moonbyul, who was now focused on the road, but could see that Yongsun was staring at her from her peripheral vision.

"Sorry, I didn't know what time you would end. This was the only thing they had that wouldn't go bad. Or do you want me to drive you somewhere else to eat?"

"This is good enough. How do you know I like strawberry milk?" Yongsun asked out of curiosity.

“Educated guess.” She smirked, but quickly turned away when it turned into a coughing fit.

Her cough was hoarse and dry, and it almost sounded painful. Yongsun didn't realise that she was staring at Moonbyul the entire time until the guard broke the silence.

"I’m okay, unnie. Eat." She reassured, stealing a quick glance towards her.

Yongsun felt guilty. Nobody had ever treated her like this, especially someone she barely knew. The girl was thoughtful and caring, going beyond the scope of her job to help and show concern for her.

"You eat too." She said softly, placing one of the two sandwiches on Moonbyul’s lap while she opened the one in her hand to eat.

"I'm driving now. I'll eat later. Both of these are for you.” Moonbyul felt her heart skip at the show of concern from her, putting the sandwiches back onto Yongsun’s lap without taking her eyes off the road.

Yongsun let out a grunt of frustration at the girl’s stubbornness. She shoved her half-eaten sandwich in front of Moonbyul's mouth, motioning for her to take a bite. She made a face in offense when the girl reacted by jerking her head to the side.

_What? Was she saliva conscious?_ She thought to herself.

"No. I’m sick, unnie, I don't want to pass it to you. Just eat." Moonbyul said, and as if on cue, she sniffled a little. 

_Of course, of course she would think of that._ She couldn't believe how attentive Moonbyul was when it came to taking care of her. She was more than just touched already. Knowing how much Moonbyul cared for her, she thought she should put in some effort too.

“Oh so now you admit that you’re sick?” She ripped open the untouched sandwich and tried feeding her again. This time around, she pushed the sandwich so close to her that it touched her lips, grinning when the girl went cross eyed looking at the sandwich.

"Eat. Hurry. You touched it already. It's full of germs now." Yongsun said in a playful voice.

Moonbyul took a bite obediently, realising how hungry she actually was. She ate a little too quickly, dissolving into coughs again.

Moonbyul covered her mouth with one hand, while the other stayed on the wheel. She clearly didn’t sound like she was going to get any better soon.

A bottle was passed to her, and she felt a hand against her back patting her, soothing her. Her coughs just couldn’t stop, and Moonbyul inwardly groaned at how her coughs were probably annoying the other girl by now.

She pulled over at the side of the road, appreciatively accepting the bottle from Yongsun and willing her body to cooperate and stop the fits. The hand patting her back was still there, soothing her more than she thinks Yongsun knows.

"I'm fine now. Thank you." She said, avoiding eye contact with Yongsun whilst capping her bottle.

"It's okay. I'm fine. Thank you. Is that all you know how to say?" Yongsun grumbled childishly.

Moonbyul stared at Yongsun in amusement before eyeing Yongsun's lips. A smile curved on her face as she spotted something.

"What are you staring at?" Yongsun asked, unamused and suddenly self-conscious.

"Don't you know how to eat properly?" Moonbyul said, but not unkindly, chuckling as she wiped the bread crumbs off Yongsun lips and chin with her thumb.

Yongsun practically froze in her seat, the hairs on her arms rising.

"You're being weird!" She shrieked, swatting away Moonbyul’s hand frantically.

"If you say so, Solar-ssi. Let's get you home." Moonbyul laughed out loud, leaning back against her seat and started the car.

"Do you have any medicine at home?" Yongsun broke the five short minutes of silence, her heart souring at the sight of Moonbyul trying to suppress her coughs and itchy throat.

Moonbyul did not reply her, instead focusing on the road.

"I'm talking to you." Annoyed, Yongsun nudged her by her arm.

"Shh…. Have no one ever told you not to disturb the driver if you don't want to die?" She teased, grinning when Yongsun clicked her tongue in irritation.

“You’re not as cold as I thought you were.” Moonbyul suddenly changed the subject. Yongsun didn’t know where exactly to look, abruptly confronted with the subject.

“Don’t blame you for thinking that I am.” She said simply, choosing to let her eyes wander on the warm light of the streetlamps. “But you weren’t the easiest person to get along with either.”

“I know. My job and all. We’ll have our differences.” 

“Then let there be differences, right? As long as you and Wheein don’t gang up on me, I’m good.” Moonbyul laughed to herself, wondering how despite her professionalism, flawless work ethic and her reputation for being extremely popular with directors for how easy she was to work with on set, she was still this much of a child in her personal relationships. They let the bickering happen between them, and for the first time since they met, it was just that. Bickering, with no real malice or ill-will behind their words.

They soon arrived, and when Moonbyul opened the door for Yongsun to alight, Yongsun just walked slowly towards the lobby, knowing that Moonbyul was beside her.

"Not going to chase me home?" Moonbyul asked, her hands tucked into her pockets to protect them from the chilly air.

"Will it work?" Yongsun scoffed and turned to squint at Moonbyul.

"Nope!" Moonbyul grinned, her nose muscles showing, as she ran ahead to get the lift. For a girl with such a serious and tough profession, she had a soft and cheeky side that Yongsun couldn’t help but be endeared by.

Yongsun rolled her eyes at Moonbyul before a smile formed unconsciously on her face, following behind her. Before she could bid her goodbye, Moonbyul sneezed again, rubbing her nose red. Yongsun looked on in pity, reaching out to grab her hand away from rubbing it any further.

"Do you want to come in for a hot chocolate?" Yongsun asked shyly.

"It's late. You should wash up and sleep, unnie. Tomorrow is the wrap of the drama isn’t it, it's going to be a long day." 

Even though Yongsun wanted Moonbyul to stay a little longer, she knew what Moonbyul said was true. Tomorrow will be a hell of a day. Last day of drama filming was usually emotionally and physically draining, and on top of that, the crew intended to go and celebrate after. She would need her sleep, and so would the sick girl in front of her.

She agreed, bidding her farewell, stepping away to close the door before she suddenly remembered something.

"Wait! Do you have medicine at home or not?"

Moonbyul cocked her head slightly to the side, squinting as she tried to recall if she did. She probably didn’t, but the fact that she hesitated gave it away already.

"Means it's a no to my question before in the car." Yongsun sighed, stepping to a side by the open door, waiting for the other girl to take her cue to enter the house..

It was the first time Moonbyul had stepped foot into Yongsun's apartment. It looked just as Moonbyul imagined, neat and well taken care of, unlike hers which was very minimalistic in decorations and in a constant state of an organised mess.

Yongsun motioned for her to take a seat while she looked for the medicine. She soon returned to Moonbyul's side with a packet of pills and a glass of warm water.

"Hand." Yongsun demanded, pleased when the girl complied.

Yongsun dropped two pills into Moonbyul's hand and passed her the glass of water into the other hand.

"Eat." She instructed again, and Moonbyul did as told.

“Moonbyul-ssi, you’re capable of listening to instructions too?” Yongsun patted Moonbyul on her head as she retrieved the emptied glass.

"I’ve always listened to instructions." Moonbyul complained under her breath as she moved her head away from Yongsun's hand.

"You’re cute when you aren’t stubborn." Yongsun cooed, playing with the sides of Moonbyul’s cheek.

Moonbyul just looked up at Yongsun and let the girl do whatever she wanted. Her heart warmed seeing that Yongsun was having fun, happy that she was at last opening up to her.

"Okay, you should go home now. This will make you drowsy in an hour or two. Or do you want to stay here?" Yongsun glanced around her apartment, planning where Moonbyul could sleep already.

"No, no. It's okay. I can make it home. Thank you, unnie." She felt a blush high on her cheeks at the offer.

"I'm fine. It's okay. Thank you." Yongsun rolled her eyes as she mimicked Moonbyul, pushing her lightly off the couch and towards the door.

Moonbyul burst out laughing, clapping her hands like a child. "That's so not me,” she said, still giggling.

"Yes it is. Take this with you. Eat it tomorrow after breakfast." The packet of medicine was pushed into her hand.

"Thank—" She started, before she caught herself, making a show of dodging behind the door and finally scooting away.

* * *

"Hyejin-ah! A drink please?"

Of course, Moonbyul would visit her best friend before heading home. Hyejin looked up to greet the girl and grimaced at the sight.

"You really fell sick, didn't you? You look like you are close to dropping dead." Hyejin remarked, stopping what she was doing to be by her friend’s side.

"Just a cold." She hummed, averting her gaze.

“Just a cold? This is just a cold?” Hyejin asked, touching the bluish eye bags under Moonbyul’s eyes to prove her point.

“Ya! Stop that.” Moonbyul slapped her hand away, tickled. Hyejin didn’t find it as funny.

"Unnie..." She started, and Moonbyul straightened up when she sensed a nagging coming.

"I'm really okay. Don't worry. I took medicine for it already." Moonbyul smiled cheekily to reassure Hyejin and reached out to motion her to get a beer from the fridge behind.

“You are not seriously asking for alcohol while telling me you just took medication for your cold.” Hyejin scolded, sighing at her friend as she took a seat next to her, content with the silent company.

"It's starting again." It was all Moonbyul needed to say.

"The nightmares? Is that why you can't sleep at night?" Hyejin turned serious immediately, putting down the account books she was checking.

"It's not as much as before, but once in a while I will see it again." She stared down, fiddling with her fingers and looking anywhere but Hyejin’s face.

"How long has it been?" 

"These couple of days only. I promise." Moonbyul peered up cautiously at Hyejin, afraid that she was going to find anger on her friend’s face.

"You could have told me. I would have been there for you, unnie." Hyejin grabbed Moonbyul's hands.

"I know you will." She caressed Hyejin's face, smiling softly at the younger girl.

"Is it because of Kim Yong Sun? Is it too soon to get back in the field?" Hyejin hesitated with her questions, unsure of how to tread lightly on a topic as heavy as this one was.

It took a while for Moonbyul to finally reply. "I don't know." She answered honestly.

"Do you want me to sleep over tonight?" Hyejin offered.

"Not today. I'm sleepy already, I will most probably knock out once I reach home." She hoped she wasn’t making any false promises, wishing that the medicines in her body would do its thing and let her have a restful night.

Hyejin did not reply. She just wanted to make Moonbyul feel better and it genuinely felt awful that she couldn't do more for her.

"I promise I'll call you if I need someone to talk to." Moonbyul knew exactly what the younger girl was thinking, she could almost see the worry pouring out of her eyes.

"You promise?" Hyejin asked, looking expectantly back at her.

"Yes I promise, my Hyejinnie.” She nodded sincerely. "Let's pack up and go home already. I have an early day tomorrow.”

After closing up, they walked home together. Hyejin reached first, making Moonbyul promise her again to call if she needed to, before sending her on her way. Moonbyul washed up quickly, exhaustion deep in her bones when she headed to the bed. Though physically tired, she couldn’t seem to fall asleep, and instead stared at the ceiling wide awake, turning and tossing. It took her awhile, but sleep finally overcame her, able to catch some rest for a few hours.

\------------------------------------

_Author's note:_

_It's Mamamoo's anniversary!! Stream Hip on[Youtube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KhTeiaCezwM) and [Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/24nK8tW7Pt3Inh2utttuoG?si=8wL9wGRFS66S_SUaUuP3fg) to celebrate, let's get that 200 million views and 70 million streams respectively. Go love on Hyejin's new teasers, cry over [Nobody Else](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OmnPr5Pxwsc), then watch [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGlca30hvzo) for instant serotonin. Here's to six amazing years and here's to many many more <3_


	4. chapter four

Moonbyul dragged herself out of bed, feeling the fatigue kicking in immediately. She looked into the mirror and sighed. Her eyelids were swollen, her face puffed up from the cold and her lips were tinted grey.

"I do look horrible.” She grumbled under her breath, freshening up, laying on a thick layer of concealer under her eyes to at least look borderline alive before leaving the house. The driver, who was back from his urgent leave, was waiting at the pick-up point.

"Good morning, Jungsu-ssi. How have you been? Is your kid better?" She closed the door behind her, happy to see that the weight on the driver’s shoulder seemed to be gone.

"He's all better now. Thank you for covering me the past few days." Jungsu greeted back, clicking on his seatbelt before driving out.

"No problem. Glad he's better, that's all that matters." Moonbyul said in between coughs.

"That sounds bad. Are you okay? Caught a cold huh?" He asked, glancing at his passenger worriedly.

"Yeah. But I'll be alright. Thank you for asking." Moonbyul assured him to be polite, taking a swig at her water.

"You should take care of yourself. It's not easy following an actress around." Jungsu was someone who would know, considering the number of clients he had worked for. He spoke like a concerned father, worried about his daughter.

"This is harder than I thought, to be honest. I've literally been shot with a gun, but somehow I find this assignment harder." Moonbyul chuckled in plain honesty.

Jungsu eyes widened at the fact, making her promise to tell him stories another time.

The cold air rushed into the car the moment they opened the car doors at Yongsun’s apartment.

'Thank god today's filming is back indoors.' She thought to herself. There was no way she was going to get any better if she had to spend another day in that weather.

The lift doors opened on the first floor, the two girls yelping in surprise at almost crashing head first into each other.

“Why didn’t you wait for me to go up? Did you bring your coat? Do you want anything to drink or eat?" The two of them walked the short distance back to the car, Yongsun walking faster than usual, as if she was physically running away from the string of questions from the other girl.

“Oh my god I found someone naggier than my sister, congratulations.” Yongsun groaned, before brushing past her guard to climb into the car. Moonbyul just stood there looking at her through the tinted windows, mouth agape as if offended.

Jungsu sniggered to himself at the pair’s antics, waiting for Moonbyul to be seated comfortably before heading to the company.

“You didn’t answer any of my questions.” Moonbyul snapped, though not impolitely, at the actress in the backseat.

"I got Wheein to buy breakfast for us already." Yongsun replied, selectively ignoring the other questions.

"Us? Don't need to get anything for me, unnie. I don't eat breakfast." Moonbyul turned behind to look at Yongsun.

"Didn't I remind you to eat the medicine three times a day? Or did you eat the medicine already?" She was ready to smack the girl if she really did eat the pills on an empty stomach.

"No, not yet. But I get sleepy when I eat them. I will just take them at night." Moonbyul explained, turning back around, suddenly finding the passing trees very interesting.

"What? You didn't bring it out, did you?" Moonbyul could literally feel Yongsun rolling her eyes, annoyed, behind her.

"No, no. I got it right here. Just don't want to be sleepy while working." She explained properly, hoping Yongsun would drop it.

"You can sleep while I film later. You don't have to oversee everything. I will be safe inside the premises." Yongsun replied with an air of finality, not leaving room for negotiation or argument.

Moonbyul smiled, knowing that Yongsun couldn't see it. Even though Yongsun sounded irritated and annoyed, she came to learn that that was how she just was, and how she showed concern to the people she wasn’t too comfortable with yet.

Wheein decided to meet them directly at the filming location since she lived just down the street and she agreed to get breakfast for the both of them at Yongsun’s insistence.

There were fans at the building, since this was a widely publicised last day of filming, and nothing could have stopped news of it from getting out to the public. Moonbyul held the door as Yongsun alighted, immediately bringing the other girl closer to her to keep her safe from the fans reaching hands.

They headed straight down to Yongsun's assigned waiting room and were greeted by a sweet fragrance of maple syrup and coffee.

"Pancakes for breakfast! Come over and eat." Wheein waved the bag of food in front of their faces as soon as they stepped into the room, before pulling Yongsun over to the table.

Moonbyul followed suit, finding herself instantly cheered up by the way Wheein was practically bouncing around the room with her excitement to dig in.

“These are the best pancakes from my favourite café, try it and let me know what you think, thank you very much.” She looked at Moonbyul expectantly, letting out a pleased sound when the guard picked up her utensils to try the food.

"Thank you Wheein-ah." Moonbyul and Yongsun replied in unison.

Yongsun ate her pancakes happily while scrolling her social media with the other hand. Moonbyul sat next to her, barely three bites in and already done.

“Is it not to your liking, unnie?” Wheein noticed how the older girl was picking around at the pancakes without actually eating.

"No, no. I just don't have the stomach to eat in the morning." She corrected quickly, not wanting Wheein to get the wrong idea.

"Well, you have to eat. How else are you going to take your medicine?" Yongsun put down her phone, turning to her to show that she was serious.

Wheein giggled at the sight. She was happy that Yongsun was finally showing the other girl some concern It had been a while since Yongsun properly expressed anything to someone new, that wasn’t purely for professional reasons.

"Exactly. Eat more unnie, take your time." Wheein persuaded, using her smile that she knew had an effect on the older girl.

It worked. Moonbyul gave a dramatic sigh, before picking up some food again. She could sense the other two’s watchful eyes on her, and she made a show of taking a huge bite of the pancakes.

It didn’t take long for her coughs to overcome her again. She swore under her breath, getting ready to stand up and excuse herself from the table before there was a hand around her wrist.

“Sit.” Yongsun ordered, handing her a pack of tissues. She reached for the coffee on the table, making sure it wasn’t too hot before passing it to her too.

"Don't you know how to eat properly? Look at you.” There was maple syrup on the tip of Moonbyul’s nose, which was definitely the cutest thing Yongsun had seen, and she had to physically resist the smile that was threatening to break out on her face.

Moonbyul chuckled in surprise after realising Yongsun used her line.

"Wow. You're picking up fast." Moonbyul said with a smirk.

Wheein was just enjoying their interaction, her eyes flitting between the two, with a mouthful of food. They did look like they were getting more comfortable and closer in fact. Moonbyul's effort wasn’t wasted after all. Moonbyul finished a little lesser than two-thirds of her pancakes and decided that she was done. Any more and she would start throwing it up.

"Medicine?" Yongsun asked impatiently, catching the girl before she could hide away in a corner.

Moonbyul looked like a reprimanded student when she stopped in her tracks, reaching into her pocket to pull out the medicine. She took two pills out and popped it into her mouth, swallowing them with the coffee in her hand.

“Done. Happy?" She said, opening her mouth wide to show Yongsun that she swallowed it.

"Nonsense. Why would I be?" Yongsun turned back around pouting, acting disinterested.

Amused, Moonbyul returned to the couch at the corner, watching as the staff brought Yongsun from chair to chair, getting her ready for the day.

* * *

Filming started, going ahead with ease as the crew got back into the rigour of things. The air was charged with an energy that came with it being the final day of the two-month long shoot, and everyone was buzzing with the anticipation of wrapping it up and seeing their hard work come to fruition.

Moonbyul and Wheein stood by the back, immersed in watching the cast deliver their most emotionally driven lines of the series yet. Yongsun, in particular, stood out. Moonbyul could understand why she was such a sought after actress. She said her lines, most of them in one take, taking notes of what the director said and working flawlessly well with her co-stars. Her passion was infectious, and it was undoubtedly attractive to Moonbyul seeing someone so attached to their craft.

The director called a break for lunch soon, with them way ahead of schedule with how smoothly things were going.

As it was the highly publicised wrap of the drama, Yongsun's fans prepared lunch boxes for Yongsun and all the crew members. Yongsun being Yongsun, she wanted to thank them personally. Moonbyul and Wheein followed closely behind her, standing by her side as Yongsun stood in front of the group of fans outside the barricades.

Moonbyul watched as Yongsun softened around her fans, chatting with them and asking them about their day. Nothing about these interactions were faked or forced, and she recalled how Yongsun initially objected to security detail because she didn’t think her fans would ever harm her. Their bond was genuinely sweet and heartwarming to watch.

Wheein nudged Yongsun after a while, signalling that it was time to go. The three of them helped carry the lunch boxes from the fans and proceeded to the pantry after saying their goodbyes.

They distributed the lunch boxes to their crew, and soon the fragrant smell of the food filled the air. Wheein dragged Solar and Moonbyul with her, choosing a table by the corner. They opened up the boxes of food and dug in, Yongsun taking photos of all the message cards that were stuck onto them.

"You barely touched your food." Yongsun stated, mid sentence in her conversation with Wheein. She looked down at Moonbyul’s lunch box and then at their own, realising that while they have already almost finished everything, the other girl had not even finished a quarter.

"Is it not good? I think it's great." Wheein asked, looking like a rabbit with a piece of lettuce she was munching on sticking out of her mouth.

"I don’t know, I just don’t have the appetite." Moonbyul answered blankly.

“Why? Are you nauseous or anything?” Yongsun asked, concerned, before very obviously judging the way her bowl was still filled except for the large portion of pickled vegetables. “You finished all the kimchi.”

"I would finish all the kimchi even if I was throwing up ten buckets of puke.” The two girls’ faces scrunched up at that, shrieking in disgust. Wheein’s mouth hung open with the rice sticking out like she was on the verge of puking herself, the sight so funny that Moonbyul made it a point to annoy the two of them more.

She giggled at their reactions, dodging Wheein’s flying hand heading for her arm.

"Eat more. You can sleep here later while I film." Yongsun pushed the lunchbox closer to her, only getting back to her own food when she saw that Moonbyul picked up her spoon again.

Moonbyul ate as much as she could stomach, not forgetting to eat the medicine in her pocket afterwards. How could she forget when Yongsun kept glancing over, trying but failing to hide her concern? She could feel the medicine taking its toll on her alertness, making it very hard to keep awake.

She had never slept on a job before and she didn't want to start now, so she fought the drowsiness, keeping herself awake by helping out the crew around the set.

After lunch, they jumped right back into filming for the final scene. Moonbyul and Wheein remained at the back of the set and observed Yongsun from afar.

“Unnie, you should really go rest in the waiting room.” Wheein said, letting her hand rest on Moonbyul’s. “It’s Yongsun-unnie’s orders.”

Moonbyul shot her a funny look, which prompted her to continue.

“Before she went back for this scene she instructed me to get you to sleep.” The look on Moonbyul’s face became even funnier. “Really, I’m not lying, she really said that.”

“Okay, I believe you. But I’m okay, Wheein-ah.” She said, before turning fully to look at the younger girl. “I’m the bodyguard here, but I feel like the two of you are taking care of me more than I am of you.”

“It's Solar-ssi, not me. I’m relaying instructions only.” There was a mischievous glint in her eyes when she replied, bouncing on her toes.

Moonbyul took a look at her watch and noticed that it was a little after 4 pm, which meant that filming was going to end soon.

She caught Yongsun’s searching eyes as the director cut the cameras to give his notes. Yongsun had a disapproving look, as she cocked her head in the direction of the waiting room to wordlessly order Moonbyul to take a nap.

She sighed audibly when Moonbyul just grinned at her defiantly, waving her off.

Filming ended with nearly everyone silently sobbing, and the tears that the cast spilled for the final scene were genuine. They hugged each other, bittersweet congratulations exchanged amongst them, before they all packed up and filed out of the venue into their cars.

They had chosen a barbeque restaurant nearby to hold their celebration. Moonbyul helped the girls into the car, before taking her seat in the passenger’s seat.

The ride was quiet. Yongsun was listening to the drama’s OST, her usual ritual after ending a drama on a good note. Wheein was already asleep on her lap, her head gently being patted by the actress. Moonbyul leaned her elbow on the window and rested her head in her palm, letting her eyes fall shut.

Since the restaurant was near the filming location, they arrived even before Moonbyul could catch a proper nap. Everyone was seated according to their own departments since they were more comfortable that way. Yongsun joined the cast and director at the main table, while Wheein and Moonbyul headed for the crew table. As soon as they started their dinner, the producer started giving his toasts, to his staff as well as the actors. Everyone held up their soju glasses happily, and with the amount of noise they were making Moonbyul was glad that they booked out the restaurant.

Throughout dinner, everyone was in a good mood, Yongsun eventually migrating over to the crew table to join Wheein and Moonbyul, deciding that she didn’t have the emotional energy to keep up with the other actors.

The two girls caught Moonbyul yawning every now and then. She covered her mouth politely, and at some point Wheein offered her shoulder to lean on, in which Moonbyul gratefully obliged.

She will never admit it, not over her dead body, but she wished she had offered Moonbyul her shoulder first. Instead, she ordered a serving of porridge, claiming that it's for everyone but it was obvious that she ordered it for Moonbyul and she knew it.

Moonbyul realised that Yongsun couldn't really drink much since she barely touched her shot of soju. Wheein drank on behalf of her friend, clinking glasses with the producers and directors, thanking them for taking care of Yongsun well. The dinner went on for three hours until they collectively decided to end the celebration, since the filming crew had to be up early to clean up the set for the next drama.

Yongsun and Wheein had barely started having fun, though. They decided to continue the night somewhere else, inviting along the staff they were closer to. In front of the car, Wheein suggested that Moonbyul went home and rest early since she wasn’t feeling well.

"We are just going to a pub near Yongsun unnie's house and I will bring her home after we are done. You can go home first." Wheein held Moonbyul by her arm, swinging it playfully.

"Are you sure? I'm still okay." Moonbyul lied, feeling beyond exhausted, but still unsure about leaving the two alone knowing that Wheein had been drinking a little.

"We will be fine." Yongsun finally said, giving her a soft smile.

"Okay then, call me if anything alright? I'll see you tomorrow at the company." Moonbyul bade them goodbye and flagged down a cab.

* * *

Of course, she didn't go home. Moonbyul dropped by Hyejin's pub as per usual and started to think about what Wheein said. A pub near Yongsun's house. Please don't tell me it's this one. She groaned at the thought. But she couldn't care less anymore. She was tired and sleepy but she knew that if she was to go home, she wouldn't be able to fall asleep anyway.

"Honey I’m home, how's business today?" Moonbyul pretended to shout, catching the dishcloth that was thrown at her.

"You’re early today.” Hyejin caught the dishcloth Moonbyul threw back. “Quiet day, but someone just reserved two tables, so I guess it won’t be such a quiet night after all.”

“Yeah I’m early for once, wow.” Moonbyul remarked in surprise, glancing at her watch. “They went out to celebrate the drama wrapping. And I didn’t follow them because- “

"If you are tired and sick, why are you here? Tsk." Hyejin scolded, snatching the beer bottle right out of Moonbyul’s grasp.

"Why? Don't want to see me?" Moonbyul whined, making grabby hands at the bottle.

"You look terrible, you know that?" Hyejin giggled.

"Shut up. How can you even see in this dark lighting?” Moonbyul snapped back, laying her head onto her arm on the table.

Before Hyejin could reply, Moonbyul cut in. "Wait, reservations? Since when do you take reservations?" Moonbyul furrowed her eyebrows in question.

"The girl on the phone begged me, saying that it's near their houses and don't want to show up if there are no seats. And since it's a quiet night, why not?" Hyejin shrugged.

"Girl? Near their houses? No way. Please don't tell me." Moonbyul groaned, digging her forehead into her forearm in dread.

"What? Why?" Hyejin watched her friend whine like a child.

"Ah, nothing. I doubt a top actress like her would step foot here anyway." Moonbyul looked around dramatically with a disgusted look.

"Ya. Bye unnie. You go, don't come back." Hyejin grumbled, making Moonbyul laugh before consoling her.

“I'm just joking, Hyejinnie." She cooed, reaching out to pat her head.

Moonbyul accepted the mocktail from Hyejin, deciding that it was better than nothing. Since there were only a few regulars in the pub, Hyejin joined Moonbyul for a drink, grabbing herself a beer and refilling her friend’s drink. They had only just started their conversation when the group that reserved the tables walked in.

She didn’t need to look to recognise that voice and high-pitched laughter


	5. chapter five

“Moonbyul unnie?” The familiar voice called out over the music of the bar. Moonbyul lifted her head from the crook of her elbow in a sheepish smile.

“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be home resting?” Yongsun appeared behind Wheein, her arms crossed in front of her.

There were about a hundred different bars and pubs and of course they had to choose this one. She searched her mind frantically for words to say but couldn’t find any to talk her way out of this. Hyejin turned to look at Moonbyul who was stuttering and realized the two girls she was greeting at the reserved tables were the famous Kim Yong Sun and her manager.

"She always drops by after work, it's like her second home here.” She saved Moonbyul, willing her to please close her mouth and not be embarrassing. “Hi, I'm Hyejin. Nice to meet you."

"I'm Yongsun and this is my manager and friend, Wheein." Yongsun stepped forward.

"Nice to meet you, Hyejin-ssi." Wheein stretched her hand out to shake Hyejin's.

"You always come here?" Yongsun turned her attention to Moonbyul who was trying her best to blend into the wall. Moonbyul nodded, straightening up.

"Hyejin’s my best friend, and this pub belongs to her. This has been my go-to spot ever since she opened it." She explained, hoping to dissolve some of the awkwardness.

"Unnie, since you are here, come join us." Wheein dragged Moonbyul by her wrist off the bar stool to their table. Moonbyul halted by the side of the table, hesitant.

“She’s cute.” Hyejin came up behind her, whispering into her ear. Moonbyul whipped her head around and gawked at her. “The manager, not the actress.”

Hyejin tapped on Moonbyul’s chin, which Moonbyul didn’t even realise hung wide open.

"First round of drinks on Byul-unnie. What do you want to drink?" Hyejin threw Moonbyul straight under the bus, resting her arm on Moonbyul's shoulder. She could feel the daggers shot her way from the older girl’s eyes, enjoying her reaction thoroughly.

“Baekseju for all of us please, thank you unnie.” Wheein made the order, directing her gratitude at Moonbyul.

"Okay, coming right up! Come help me, unnie." Hyejin said, tugging Moonbyul by her arm and pulling her behind the bar counter.

"Why? I'm a customer too. I'm paying for this, remember?" She shot back, glaring at Hyejin childishly but still following her anyway.

The two girls busied themselves with the bottles and soon returned to the table with trays full of glasses and bottles, passing one to each of them around the table.

Moonbyul relented to sitting in the empty seat next to Yongsun, but not before physically shoving Hyejin into the seat next to the already slightly tipsy Wheein.

"Congrats on the filming wrap Solar-ssi.” Hyejin started, raising her glance. Yongsun looked immediately at Moonbyul, who lowered her gaze when she realised that she just got exposed for talking about her job with the girl.

“Since you all are unnie's friend, you are my friends now too. Do drop by more often." Hyejin continued, ignoring the one-sided staring, giving her toast politely to Yongsun.

Moonbyul picked up the glass in front of her, knocking it back before regretting it immediately when the cold liquor burned as it slid down her throat. She swore audibly, coughing and scrambling for the mineral water bottle across the table.

"Are you sure you should be drinking?" Yongsun said, sounding resigned, as she extended a hesitant hand to pat the girl’s back.

"That's what I tell her every night but she doesn't listen." Hyejin rubbed it in, sticking her tongue out at Moonbyul before drinking her baekseju in small sips.

“Ahn Hyejin!” Moonbyul coughed out. The audacity of this girl.

"Wait, last night too?" Yongsun slapped her back a little too hard when she said that, turning a soothing gesture into one that made Moonbyul almost start her choking fit all over again.

"I didn’t last night, I swear. And it's already been an hour since I had my medicine earlier anyway.” She retorted, shooting her traitor of a best friend one last warning glare.

“You just took your medicine and you’re drinking-" Yongsun paused dramatically, picking up the bottle and reading off the label. “Thirteen percent alcohol content. You wanna die that bad?” She scolded, smacking her across the arm, hard and without mercy.

"I will die in your hands before anything." Moonbyul muttered and rubbed her arm, though she couldn’t wipe the stupid grin off her face at the thought of how cute Yongsun was when she was mad. Wheein could no longer take the bickering with her head already spinning in a haze of booze, though she would be lying if she said she didn't enjoy it.

"Okay, that's enough. Everyone drink up." She ordered, passing Yongsun a bottle in her hand. The actress accepted the drink, at the same time snatching the glass out of Moonbyul’s hand and shoving the plain bottle of water in it instead.

“Don’t.” She held up a finger firmly when the sick girl moved to protest.

Yongsun emptied the glass Moonbyul was drinking from in one breath. Moonbyul and Hyejin watched as everyone else around the table turned to stare at her, clearly knowing something they didn’t. They found out pretty soon, though. Within the span of the next few minutes, Yongsun seemed to get progressively less coherent by the second. All it took was half a glass of alcohol to turn Kim Yongsun into a giggling mess.

While everyone else was having fun, chatting and passing bottles around the table, Moonbyul was keeping a close eye on her. She was swaying from side to side, all while maintaining a gibberish conversation with her stylist who had the patience to entertain her. Opposite them, Hyejin didn’t even bother hiding it, leaning on her arm against the backrest of the seat while playing drinking games with Wheein, and it was obvious to anyone but Wheein how she was letting the girl win.

While her gaze was fixated on the drinking game opposite her, an outstretched arm caught Moonbyul’s eyes. Yongsun reached for another unopened bottle on the other side, before getting her hand gently slapped away.

“No more drinking for you, Solar-ssi. I’m cutting you off.” Moonbyul chided, pushing the bottle out of reach of the drunk girl.

"Why? Give it to me." Yongsun whined, giving Moonbyul the most ridiculous pout she had ever seen.

“That face isn’t gonna work on me.” Moonbyul replied. Who was she kidding? She felt like it took physical strength to pry her eyes from Yongsun’s eyes.

Yongsun sulked in retaliation, choosing instead to attack the bowl of peanuts in front of her. Hyejin got up eventually, fetching yet another tray of drinks.

“These are either on the house or Byul-unnie’s treat, depending on my mood.” She announced, tapping the top of Moonbyul’s head as she passed by her. Moonbyul just sighed in resignation, already ready to pay regardless. Everyone cheered, helping themselves to the next glasses of drinks.

"Hyejin! Come back here. Play 5-10 with me." Wheein beckoned, and Hyejin literally dropped the two glasses into Moonbyul’s catch to go to Wheein.

Moonbyul gripped the glasses tightly with her heart still in her stomach from her best friend’s antics. She watched the girls play and without realising, she had a smile on her face. Hyejin looked so happy, grinning toothily even as she lost, lighting up whenever Wheein did.

Moonbyul noticed that the girl next to her was too quiet. She looked over, catching Yongsun’s head on her shoulder just as she nodded off, eyes already closed. Moonbyul moved closer, letting the girl adjust herself unconsciously to a more comfortable position against the crook of her neck.

They stayed in that position for the rest of the time, with Moonbyul trying her hardest not to make any big movements that may jostle the sleeping girl. She sipped her beer silently, having pleaded with Wheein to pass one to her as Yongsun confiscated all of her drinks earlier. She watched her sleep from the corner of her eye, noticing the little stirs and unconscious twitches of her nose. Her eyelashes were fanned out against her face, even more prominently curled from the angle Moonbyul was looking from, her cheeks so full and plump that Moonbyul had the urge to poke them just for fun.

She had to hold in a small cough, uselessly drinking the beer in hopes of quelling an even worse episode of coughing fits. It came nonetheless, and even though she turned her head away from Yongsun and controlled herself from moving too much, she felt Yongsun’s head move on her shoulder, her half-lidded eyes staring at her when she turned her head back around.

"Sorry sorry. Go back to sleep." Moonbyul whispered gently. “Here.”

Moonbyul pulled her arm up as it was going numb and hung it around Yongsun's neck instead. Yongsun laid her head back down, her forehead nestling comfortably against the side of Moonbyul’s neck. Hyejin slid past them on her way to the bar counter, handing her another bottle of beer when she got back, but Moonbyul decided that she had enough and waved her off politely. She probably had to carry Yongsun home, and had enough alcohol in her system as it was already.

* * *

It was getting late, or rather very early, and the rest of the staff were leaving one after the other, leaving the four girls alone at the table. Even the regular customers had all gone home by then, and at some point Hyejin changed the generic bar music they had on to softer tunes that didn’t exacerbate the banging in her head.

Wheein stood up abruptly, rocking on her unsteady feet as she announced the end of the night. She was still surprisingly clear in her head, and had the sobriety to explain that Yongsun had a scheduled fashion show appearance in the late afternoon the next day. Yongsun stirred slightly and let a few mumbled words fall out of her slightly parted mouth when she heard her name in her sleep, making Moonbyul chuckle to herself.

“Unnie, please wake Yongsun unnie-” Wheein’s words cut off, ending in a scream when she put the wrong foot forward and tipped over.

She didn’t land on the ground as expected, but rather in Hyejin’s arms, staring up at her face. Hyejin brought the girl back up onto her feet, her arms still wrapped around her lower back in support.

“Like a drama.” Wheein giggled giddily at Hyejin, blinking aggressively to clear the dancing spots from her vision.

“Are you sure you’re okay to go back yourself? Where do you stay?” Hyejin asked, her heart racing a little with the way Wheein was gazing at her like she hung the stars.

"I'm alright. My house is nearby." Wheein snapped out of her dazed staring, stumbling over to where Moonbyul and Yongsun were.

"Unnie. Unnie, wake up. Time to go home." She tapped her gently on the shoulder, resorting to light slaps on the cheeks when Yongsun didn’t even stir.

“Mm…Where are we?" She struggled to lift her heavy lids open, bringing a hand up to support her stiffened neck. Moonbyul beat her to it, using her arm that was already wrapped around her neck to prop her upright.

Yongsun realised belatedly that she was sleeping in her guard’s arms. She tried to stop herself from swaying in her seat, the redness of her face not entirely caused by the alcohol at this point.

"Ah…So dizzy, stop spinning Byul-ah." Without warning, she crashed back into Moonbyul’s arms, miraculously having fallen back asleep in that split second.

"How am I supposed to carry you both home?” Moonbyul groaned as she cocked her head towards the two drunk girls, her hands quickly losing feeling again from the way Yongsun’s head was pressed on it.

Wheein looked between them with a fumbled spin on the heels of her feet, eventually choosing to face Hyejin with a small and cheeky grin on her face. Ah, so she’s a flirty drunk. There wasn’t a single doubt in Hyejin’s mind that Wheein probably couldn’t walk ten steps without falling flat on her face, so she took the girl by her shoulders, watching as her grin arched even wider.

“You settle that one, I’ll take care of this one.” Moonbyul looked up at Hyejin’s words, and was greeted by a sight of a barely awake Wheein clung onto her best friend’s side.

“You sure you can handle her?” Moonbyul asked, watching the way Wheein giggled in her drunken stupor and played with the collar of Hyejin’s shirt.

“These two are nothing compared to my regulars when I don’t stop them after their usual rounds. I’ll be fine.” Hyejin waved it off, dragging the obediently listening girl with her to the bar to lock up the register. “You still owe me fried chicken though.”

"Of course I do." Moonbyul rolled her eyes.

The two of them dragged their drunk friends out of the bar, Moonbyul temporarily clinging onto them both while Hyejin locked up the doors. The cab arrived for the two younger girls, Moonbyul only letting them close the car door after Hyejin promised to call her when she reached home to let her know she was safe.

The cab sped away, leaving the street empty again. Moonbyul turned back to the drunk girl that was sitting on the roadside, slumped against the glass panel of the bar, asleep. A top actress was drunk and sleeping by the side of a road at four in the morning. If it weren't for the obvious lack of company on that stretch of road, Moonbyul would have been worried about letting Yongsun be seen in public in the state she was in.

"Unnie, let's go. Come on." Moonbyul pulled Yongsun up her arms, but her legs gave way. She sighed deeply. It wasn’t even a full three drinks before she got this drunk. She hurled Yongsun onto her back, grunting in the struggle to make the deadweight girl hold onto her.

"You better not puke on me, Yongsun-ssi." She said, as she started down the road to Yongsun's house.

As if Yongsun could hear her, she tightened her grip around Moonbyul's neck, in petulant objection.

"Ya. Ya! Let go! Just don't move. Stay still." The girl had considerable strength in her arms, managing to put Moonbyul in a chokehold despite snoring in her sleep. She let go after several swats, Moonbyul having to stop and readjust, grumbling under her breath about how this was anything but the security job she signed up for.

After a short moment of silence as the two got closer to home, Yongsun’s breath tickled her ears as she mumbled in her sleep. It was incoherent strings of gibberish, but still Moonbyul found herself paying attention, in case she said anything important.

"What are you saying, unnie? Just sleep, will you?"

"I'm sorry, Moonbyul-ssi." Yongsun pieced together the syllables, shifting herself on Moonbyul’s back. Moonbyul could feel a spot on her shoulders getting wet, hoping ridiculously that it was drool and not tears. She had no energy to deal with an emotional drunkard at 4am.

"You called me Byul earlier, and now you call me Moonbyul-ssi." Moonbyul remarked to herself, chuckling. "Why are you sorry, Yongsun-ssi?" She played along.

"She got sick... because of me... I'm so mean to her. But... Because of me..." Even though the words were barely audible, Yongsun was mumbling right into her ear, and Moonbyul couldn’t miss it even if she tried.

Was it drunk, nonsense talk? But then again, aren’t drunk people more truthful in their speech than sober people are? Did Yongsun really blame herself for her cold?

Regardless, Moonbyul was unable to wipe her smile away.

"Moonbyul-ssi is okay. Yongsun-ssi shouldn't worry too much." She said, sounding like she was addressing a child.

"Hmm Byul-ah…" The only response Yongsun gave her was more gibberish and failed attempts at stringing sentences together.

“Shh... You're noisy. Just sleep." She soothed, pleased when the girl listened and fell silent.

Moonbyul struggled with Yongsun on her back. The route back to her flat was uphill and she was groaning with every step forward. She was sweaty, tired and sleepy, and the idea of sleeping on the benches along the way was extremely appealing then.

With much effort, they arrived at the door of Yongsun’s house. Without letting her down, Moonbyul fished into Yongsun’s bag for the keys, almost dropping both her and her bag when Yongsun adjusted herself, wriggling around to make herself more comfortable.

“Don’t move, be good please.” Moonbyul scolded softly, realising that in the hallway of the flat, the neighbours could hear anything above a whisper. She finally got the door open, wrestling between keeping a whole Kim Yongsun balanced on her back while carrying her bag and locking the doors between them.

Finally, in the safety of the apartment, she let the girl down onto the floor, just to pick her up again, bridal style. She thanked herself for guessing the main bedroom correctly on the first try, putting down the deadweight girl onto her bed at last.

Yongsun did not even stir from her sleep. The smell of spilled alcohol reeked from the both of them, and Moonbyul could recall the exact moment one of the drunk staffers tripped on Yongsun’s outstretched leg earlier, sending two glasses of beer flying at the two of them. She ignored it then, choosing just to use the cloth that Hyejin threw at her to wipe them both down, but continued letting Yongsun sleep peacefully.

She regretted it a little now, because the smell after hours of leaving it to dry on her shirt was getting unbearable. She stood there in the dark for a bit, looking between the two of them but ultimately deciding to leave the lights off.

There was no closet of any kind in the bedroom, just a drawer that Moonbyul didn’t bother checking since it was way too tiny to fit any clothes in. She took a wild guess, swinging open a door that wasn’t the one leading to the living area, and of course, it's a walk-in closet. She dug around until she spotted the cupboard that was more clearly worn and used than the rest, opening it to find all the pyjama sets.

She took the set on top out for Yongsun, digging down further until she found the least expensive looking one for herself. She contemplated putting it back, because it was after all not hers, and she couldn’t ask for permission with its owner snoring a few feet away.

Fuck it, she thought. Her eyes were close to shutting completely and the stink of the spilled beer was somehow keeping them open. She would apologise in the morning if she had to.

And then next came the task of changing the sleeping girl out of her clothes. She tiptoed back into the room, sitting down by the sides of the bed. The lights were left off, a bit of respect and dignity she guessed she could spare Yongsun.

She sat the sleeping girl up, letting Yongsun’s head lean on her shoulder. She made quick work of the soiled clothes, thanking God it was just a zip and a couple of fake buttons so she didn’t have to fumble around in the dark trying to undo all that. The pyjamas slid on easily, and Yongsun let out a sigh in her sleep as if she could feel herself being liberated from that skin tight top and jeans into the soft silk of her pyjamas.

Moonbyul cradled the back of Yongsun’s head in her hand, before lowering her back down on the bed gently, watching fondly when the girl curled in on her pillow and continued to sleep undisturbed. There on her lips was the softest hint of a smile, one that was hardly visible in the dark but was surely there. She looked so peaceful when she slept, like she could finally rest from the cameras and the socialising and schedule, and the smiling, soft her in that moment was who Moonbyul knew was the real Yongsun.

Moonbyul leaned down to sweep her long bangs from the corner of her mouth, watching the smile show itself even more, before she retreated to the living area and closed the bedroom door behind her.

Moonbyul chose to spend the night over because it was apparent to her that Yongsun wasn’t a heavy drinker – if she had to guess, this was one of less than five times she had gotten this drunk. There was no way Moonbyul was leaving Yongsun alone when she was in this state, and besides, she carried Yongsun home, so sue her for borrowing some old PJs and a couch to sleep on.

She plopped down on the couch after changing out of her old clothes. She was pleasantly surprised with how well it fit, and how soft the worn cotton felt against her skin. As soon as her head hit the cushions, her eyes drifted shut and she finally could rest for the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> even if i don't reply to your comments, i'm still reading them!! i don't really have a twitter but i know this fic got tweeted about back when the previous author was writing it, and if its not too much i would love to read your tweet threads about this fic too :') if you wanna, you can find my other work (soulmate angst) [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23944276)


	6. chapter six

She wasn’t sure what exactly woke her up, but she didn’t feel well-rested in the least. Her head was heavy on her shoulders, her spine cracking in protest as she tried to get up from her position on the two-seater sofa. There was a much longer four-seater beside it but she decided that the leather looked way too expensive for her to be okay with throwing her feet on it. A light snore could be heard when she cracked open the bedroom door, finding Yongsun’s sleeping form moving with her breaths under the swaddle of blankets. She tiptoed her way to the bed, tugging at a corner of the blanket until it properly covered Yongsun’s exposed leg, before slipping out of the room again. 

She located the fridge quickly, some fancy fridge with a touchscreen on its door saying good morning to her as she opened it. Surprisingly, the fridge was well stocked, with neat rows of ingredients like boiled eggs, greens, fruits and frozen rice. Moonbyul began gathering the ingredients she needed, the ox bone and beef packed away neatly in freezer bags while the soybean sprouts, white radishes and green onions were in their specified fresh veggies section of the fridge. With as little noise as possible, she busied herself with preparing the stew of haejangguk, anticipating that Yongsun would be dying with a hangover once she woke up, and she could personally vouch for the anti-hangover effects of this recipe.

With the broth in the slow cooker and the rice in the steamer, there was time for a short nap before everything was ready. She went back to the small sofa, curling in on herself and falling asleep easier than she expected herself to.

Yongsun woke up to the smell of something herbal, a smile forming on her face even before her eyes opened. If I begged nicely would my neighbours let me have whatever they were cooking? She let out a little yawn as she roused from sleep. A harsh pang across her temples hit her, however, and it suddenly all came back to her. She did not remember going home and definitely did not remember changing out of her clothes. In the corner, the pieces of her outfit from last night were folded neatly and placed on the floor. There was nothing else out of the ordinary around the room, so she figured that being incredibly meticulous with dirty laundry was just another quirk Drunk Solar had. 

She threw aside the mountain of blankets, tumbling out of bed groggily, and stepped out into the living room. There was something amiss. She froze, lowering her stance before continuing into the space. An army green backpack was resting against her loveseat, something she knew didn’t belong to her nor Wheein but was sure she saw it somewhere before. She crept over, not missing the fragrance of herbal broth getting stronger as she neared her kitchen.

Her hand was raised in front of her, ready to attack whoever was hiding on her couch. She counted herself down in her racing mind, before peeking over the headrest. There, curled up to fit into the small space of the couch, was her bodyguard. Moonbyul was clearly asleep, but her forehead was drenched in sweat, a frown deep set on her brows and her whole body trembling. She was having a nightmare. 

Yongsun’s hand dropped immediately, and she rounded the sofa to crouch in front of Moonbyul.

“Byul, wake up.” She shook the girl’s arm very lightly, but it was enough to do the job.

Moonbyul's eyes shot open, still arrested with fear. Her hands gripped onto her own shirt in a practiced method to ground herself, her erratic breaths slowing itself when she regained her bearings and saw the red cotton of the couch she was lying on. 

“Are you okay? What kind of nightmare was that?" Yongsun turned Moonbyul by her shoulders to face her as she wiped her damp hair away from her face.

The kind that I would never want to talk about. Especially not to you. 

"I'm okay, just a normal nightmare. Nothing special." Moonbyul replied nonchalantly, hoping that she won’t harp on it.

"You sure? Never seen you look this scared before." Yongsun pressed, skeptical that ‘just a normal nightmare’ can make this seemingly fearless bodyguard break out in cold sweat..

"You sound like you’ve known me for years.” She stood up, dragging Yongsun to her feet with her. The world spun as she struggled to shake away the lightheadedness that accompanied her short breaths and still wildly beating heart, but it seemed like the actress didn’t notice that small episode. “I made breakfast, hangover soup. Come on.” 

Yongsun still didn’t think she believed Moonbyul but decided to drop it for now. Her attention shifted instead to the clothes on both their persons, her eyes scanning between the two of them with questions hanging in the air. Moonbyul could feel those pair of eyes on her, taking in a long breath before explaining.

"You had spoilt beer all over you last night, I needed to get you changed. Lights were off, don’t worry. I just took the topmost set of PJs in your closet. Oh and I borrowed some of your clothes, cause the beer on your shirt went on mine when I carried you home." Even with her eyes averted, she could sense the older girl’s intense look at her, panicking a little more as the silence dragged longer. “I stayed behind just to make sure you were going to be okay. Sorry if I overstepped, unnie, you can check my phone’s gallery or something, I promise I just wanted to make sure you were comfortable.”

"Ah. No, no, I don’t mind. And I haven’t known you for too long but enough to know you aren’t stupid enough to take my nudes then stay over to incriminate yourself." And also, trust, and all that jazz about trust. How much did she drink last night to have cleanly forgotten getting hauled home, changed and tucked into bed? Yongsun ducked her head in embarrassment, moving past Moonbyul into the kitchen. “I uh… I must have been a handful yesterday huh? Sorry about that.”

"Aw… are you embarrassed?" Moonbyul teased, poking the back of Yongsun’s shoulder annoyingly.

"Are you making fun of me now?" Yongsun smacked the offending hand, the younger girl recoiling in defense.

Moonbyul giggled as Yongsun stared, offended at how much Moonbyul was enjoying the situation. 

"Unnie, there's nothing to be embarrassed about. Though..." Moonbyul continued, making a show of rubbing her chin in thought. “I never thought you would be that kind of drunk.”

"What? What did I do?" Yongsun stilled, her hungover brain reeling with the effort of thinking up possible stupid things she could have done while drunk. All the younger girl responded with was a shit-eating grin that Yongsun genuinely wished she could smack off her face. "Moon Byul Yi! What the fuck did I do?" She shrieked, sending another smack flying towards the girl.

"Ya! I’m just joking!" Moonbyul whined as she ducked the attacks. “But in my defense you made carrying you home really hard, unnie.” 

“Right.” It hit Yongsun then, that the girl that was barely an inch taller than her had to carry her the whole way home. And she knew for a fact that she was a noisy drunk, and that the route home was at least seventy-percent uphill. “Did you really carry me all the way back here?”

“Of course. And you wouldn’t stop wriggling off my back when I clearly told you to stay still.” Moonbyul shimmied her shoulders in a dramatic reenactment, serving only to make Yongsun cringe at how ridiculous she probably was last night.

“I’m sorry, you really didn’t have to. Wasn’t Wheein there too?” 

“Wheein? Couldn’t walk straight if she tried.” Before Yongsun could open her mouth again, Moonbyul cut in. “Hyejin brought her home safely, don’t worry.”

Hyejin…. Hyejin…. Right. Bartender. Moonbyul’s friend. Girl who flirted with her manager all night. 

Yongsun nodded her head, internally dying at the embarrassing fact that both of them were so drunk they had to be dragged home by their bodyguard and bartender.

She pouted in silence, letting Moonbyul lead her to the kitchen-top where a steaming crock pot was sitting. This was the smell that singlehandedly woke her up, when even alarm clocks usually fail to do so. 

“Sorry I just kinda rummaged your fridge for ingredients. This is ox bone soup, great for hangovers. I can vouch for its efficacy. Go wash up, it will be ready soon.” Moonbyul instructed offhandedly, picking up a ladle to have a taste at the broth. Yongsun did as told, rushing out of the kitchen before the growl of her stomach became properly audible.

When she returned, Moonbyul was seated at the table and swiping at her phone, two bowls of the soup and rice already laid out. She took the seat opposite her, unsure of how to even go about thanking her for everything she had done.

“Dig in, unnie. Is your head alright? Hangovers?” Moonbyul set her phone down, picking up some meat with her chopsticks and dropping it into Yongsun’s bowl.

"No! I'm fine. I only drank a little bit." Yongsun replied.

"A little bit?" Moonbyul narrowed her eyes. “You were effectively amnesic after the first sip of your drink. Don’t think that’s ‘a little bit’, unnie.”

"You want to start again?" Yongsun glared back, her fist raising up to demonstrate her point.

"Nope.” She pursed her lips, holding back her giggles. “But if you know you can't, why did you drink that much yesterday?" Moonbyul scoffed.

"Your fault." Yongsun snapped, shoving rice into her mouth in annoyance.

“What the hell did I even do." Moonbyul looked up with a jolt, confused.

"I was angry at you." Yongsun admitted, playing with her rice.

"Did I do something wrong?" She was genuinely concerned then, not happy at the idea that she could’ve offended Yongsun in some way or another. She sipped at the soup, trying to divert the anxious energy in her somewhere else, but the pepper hit her throat, making her sore throat act up again.

"That," Yongsun pointed to Moonbyul’s throat, referring to the cold that she obviously had yet to recover fully from. The girl in question caught her eye-line, unconsciously dodging the pointed end of the finger in shame.

"You just don't know how to take care of yourself. You care for literally everyone but yourself." Yongsun spelt it out for her, this time looking right at her, trying to catch her flitting eyes.

"What?" Moonbyul feigned ignorance, though the guilt was leaking out of her hesitance.

"You're still sick. You drank after eating the medicine, and you drank yesterday. Refused to rest when I told Wheein to make you. Do you know how stupid that is?" Their eyes locked, and Yongsun jumped at the chance to send a stern glare her way.

Moonbyul stared back like a deer caught in headlights. 

“Aww, you’re worried about me?” She tried to break the heavy tension, but it backfired when the older girl’s glare just turned icy.

"I'm serious, Byul-ah." Yongsun said, though it came out sounding way whinier than she intended.

A smile broke out on Moonbyul’s face, her nose scrunching up. 

"Why are you smiling like an idiot?" Yongsun frowned.

"I like the way you call me 'Byul ah', makes it sound like we are close." Moonbyul chuckled happily.

"Who says we are close? Dream on, Moonbyul-ssi." Yongsun teased back, holding back a laugh when Moonbyul’s grin turned into an exaggerated pout. She really could look like a three-year-old if she wanted to.

"Just when I thought I broke the ice. Guess I have to try harder." She sighed childishly.

Yongsun knew Moonbyul was just joking so she didn't take it too seriously. She realised that Moonbyul's bowl was untouched, gesturing vaguely at it for her to eat, hoping that she got it.

Moonbyul definitely got it, obediently digging in, but not before mimicking the gesture to Yongsun too.

“You haven’t tried the soup?” The bowl of broth across the table was still full, and so she pushed it closer to Yongsun. “Try and tell me how it is.”

"Woah." Yongsun gasped after the first sip, an unreadable look of surprise on her face.

"Why? Not good? Too salty? Too spicy?" Moonbyul asked, brows furrowing deeper with each question.

"No, no." Yongsun took another sip eagerly. "It's really good. You know how to cook?" 

"It's good? Then eat more unnie. There's more rice in the cooker." Moonbyul beamed proudly.

"It's kind of the best haejangguk I have had I think. Why don’t you feed yourself more with how well you can cook?” 

"I'm happy just watching people eat the food I cook" Moonbyul smiled, pleased. She continued eating with a soft smile on her face.

Moonbyul was not lying when she said that. She took a while to trial-and-error enough times for each of her dishes to be good, so naturally she found joy in watching people like the food she cooked. She used to cook for Hyejin daily back when she wasn’t as busy as she was now, and Hyejin would die for the food she cooked. 

"It's really delicious, Byul ah." Yongsun couldn't stop shoving mouthful after mouthful into her mouth.

Moonbyul smiled warmly, watching the girl alternate between the rice and sips of the soup, making sure that she was eating too.

“Want more rice?” She asked when Yongsun’s chopsticks hit the bottom of the ceramic bowl.

Yongsun nodded gratefully. Both of them went on to eat their second servings, and when they were done, Moonbyul stood up abruptly, grabbing their bowls off the table.

“I’ll wash them, you can go rest up.” She announced, before the dishes were snatched out of her hands.

"You've done enough. I'll clean it up." Yongsun said firmly, using her eyes to get Moonbyul to sit back down. “Medicine in the first cupboard next to the TV. Don’t you dare say you don’t need it.” Yongsun ordered without looking at her, anticipating the whiny objections before it even came.

"Fine, thank you unnie.” Sure enough, the medicine was where Yongsun said it was. She relented, popping a pill into her mouth. “Jungsu-ssi will pick you up in an hour, but I will see you at the company. I need to go home and change. Will you be okay by yourself?" 

"That's fine." Yongsun replied from the kitchen.

"Wear something thicker. Take an umbrella too, it looks like it's going to rain. And oh! Before I forget, I sat aside some soup for Wheein. Could you bring it with you later?" She was already at the door, not leaving before her usual string of instructions.

"Yes, grandma. Please go already." Moonbyul laughed as she closed the door behind her, hearing Yongsun groan loudly as she left.

After an hour, Jungsu called Yongsun punctually. She got ready and proceeded downstairs, making sure that her umbrella was in one hand and the tupperware of soup in the other. 

"Good morning, Jungsu-ssi. Have you eaten?" Yongsun greeted the driver.

"Yes Yongsun, I've eaten. You’re going to have breakfast with Wheein later?" Jungsu-ssi asked, checking that his passenger’s seat belt was on before driving out.

"Nope, already had my meal." She said it like it was something she should be proud of. In a way, she kind of was.

When she arrived at the company, the main waiting rooms were quieter than normal, and she found herself earlier than even Moonbyul or Wheein. It made sense. It was usually a combination of Wheein and her starting the ruckus, and suddenly everyone would join them, and the room would then know no peace. 

Yongsun basked in the short-lived silence, sitting down in her dressing chair and waited patiently for her stylists to arrive. 

By the time the call ended, it was already nearly past the latest time she allowed herself before she had to head to work. Moonbyul shushed her best friend, her voice still audible through the phone as she peeled it away from her ear and hit the ‘end call’ button.

“Sorry Hyejinnie, duty calls.” She giggled to herself, imagining the look on Hyejin’s face on the other end of the line as she realised that she had been hung up on. 

She was surprised to find the company already packed out with people by time she reached, and she was considered early, still. The first thing that caught her eye is Wheein in what she newly named the “washed up ashore” look, with hair that looked roughly brushed through, opaque sunglasses sitting low on her nose bridge and mismatched socks. She did not look a single cell like a person holding a managerial title at all. 

“You look like you need twenty cups of coffee.” Moonbyul walked up to where the girl was draped all over the couch, nudging her on her knee.

“If you can run me an IV with coffee right now I’ll take it.” The reply came, the words so slurred she could barely make out the quip.

“Too bad you’re the ones paying me, so I can’t kill you just yet.” She got a half-arsed thumbs up in response, taking it as a win that at least her limbs worked.

“Where’s Yongsun-unnie?” She asked, before heading in the general direction Wheein’s hand was pointed to. She found Yongsun already dressed, head to toe in the brand she was attending the fashion show for that day.

“Wheein needs the ox bone juice.” Moonbyul deadpanned, receiving squinted looks from everyone within earshot.

“Call it that again and I will pour the entire tub of it over your head.” Yongsun snapped, shoving the tupperware into Moonbyul’s waiting hands, rolling her eyes when all Moonbyul did was smirk at her cockily.

Back in the adjacent waiting room, Wheein seemed to have moved into a more comfortable position, her legs now hoisted over the headrest of the sofa. A woman Moonbyul recognised as an external publicist rushed into the room, holding out papers requesting for Wheein’s signature. She watched as the girl sprang up from her position, adjusting the sunglasses on her face before greeting the publicist in a completely professional manner and signing off on what Moonbyul assumed was important documents. Moonbyul chuckled when the publicist left, shaking her head at Wheein, who immediately plonked back down onto the sofa. 

“You’re amazing. Ridiculous, but amazing.” Moonbyul sat down next to her.

“Here, have this. Haejangguk, for your hangover.” She cracked open the lid, the fragrance immediately grabbing the girl’s attention. Wheein took a sip right out of the tupperware, her entire body sighing with the relief it instantly brought her. 

“Oh my god, you’re the best, unnie. Where did you buy this? Need to give the chef a big hug.” Wheein drawled out, indulging herself in huge mouthfuls of the broth. 

Moonbyul snickered. “She’s right here.”

“You cooked this?” The hungover girl clearly wasn’t self-aware of her volume, suddenly shouting. “Moonbyul-ssi you made this soup?”

“Shh… Wheein-ah… People are looking. And yes, I cooked the soup in the morning. If you like it I can make it for you next time when you have hangovers.”

“No.” She replied, wagging her finger in front of her face. “Next time stop me before I chug any more than three drinks.” 

“Yes, okay, I will.” Moonbyul grabbed the finger gently and put it down, tipping the tupperware slightly to prompt the girl to drink more. She let her empty the contents, before supporting her by the shoulders to make their way to where Yongsun was still getting her hair set. 

Yongsun spotted the duo stumbling into view in the mirror, forcing herself to hide the smile that formed on her face immediately. 

“Wheein-ah, go back to sleep, I’m okay here.” She said, unmoving, as her curls got released from the hot iron. 

“See! I told her that too, but she insisted on coming over to you.” Moonbyul said, minding her volume as the loud noises seemed to make the girl wince in her hungover state.

“I’m fine.” She dragged out, resting her head against Moonbyul’s shoulder, and Moonbyul let her.

“You say you’re fine then lean on me like a complete deadweight, Wheein-ah.” 

“Go back to the other room, I’ll let you know when I’m ready.” Yongsun piped up.1

Wheein straightened herself back up, lifting the sunglasses from her face and letting it sit on her head instead. 

“Why are you two acting like my parents? I’m the manager here. I’m here to manage things. So if it’s okay with you parents I’m staying here.” She announced, although the childlike pout she had on really undercut the sternness she tried to convey.

Yongsun didn’t know why her cheeks heated up at that comment, but it did, and she ducked her head into the shadows to conceal the blush. Wheein was finding a chair to rest up in, and Moonbyul was tailing her like a concerned mother afraid that her baby was going to fall over anytime. Her heart warmed at the sight, glad that Wheein now had another person to look out for her, where Yongsun felt that she fell short at sometimes.

Once she was ready, Yongsun looked for her guard, who was standing by the door dutifully reading through the day’s schedule that was pasted on the wall. Moonbyul caught her expectant gaze, understanding it immediately and running off to alert Jungsu to get the car ready. It was raining outside, borderline depressing with how cold and gloomy the weather was. It was a good thing that the only part of the event that was going to be outdoors was the red carpet, with the main bulk of the show in the large indoor filming studio. 

Their arrival to the red carpet was an extravagant affair. Tabloids, reporters, camera crews and interviewers turned all of their attention on their arriving car, the blinding flashes illuminating the otherwise dark sky. Moonbyul knew Yongsun was popular, understood that her fanbase was fiercely loyal, and that the media was greatly interested in any news stories regarding her, but never on this scale. 

“Has it always been like this?” She asked Wheein, who was helping the hair stylist, holding up the tiny pocket mirror in front of Yongsun.

“More or less, yeah, but especially at these fashion shows, or idol survival shows, where Yongsun-unnie is pretty much always the guest-of-honour.” Wheein answered, ignoring the odd look Yongsun gave her at the ‘guest-of-honour’ title. “Why, Byul-unnie, nervous?”

“I mean, yeah, I’ve only ever escorted politicians and businessmen before so there were much fewer cameras.” She cracked the door open slightly on her side of the car when Yongsun signalled that she was ready. “And screaming.” 

She let herself out of the car, opening up two umbrellas before jogging to the other side. Looking at the crowd was a terrible idea, as the flashes were enough to make anyone lose their eyesight for a second. The other car door opened, and Yongsun stepped out gracefully. Moonbyul sheltered her with the umbrella in one hand, the other hand shielding the front of her short skirt from the cameras. The door shut behind her as Jungsu and the crew drove off, leaving Moonbyul and Yongsun to take on the roaring crowd on their own. 

Moonbyul stood by the side as the crowd yelled out Yongsun’s name, an overwhelming litany of “Look here, Solar!” and “This way!”. She watched as Yongsun posed like a seasoned professional, giving every camera only a precious second of her attention. She spared the interviewers some time, enthusiastically answering questions about her latest projects and thoughts about the brand she was attending for. For someone who was so reserved and closed off to strangers, she sure knew how to switch on her celebrity mode when needed, becoming the media-trained, screen-ready star. Moonbyul couldn’t help but be impressed with how quickly she could rise to the occasion and step into her role, and how well she pulled it off.

A small nod towards Moonbyul signalled that she was ready to move on from the red carpet, and in an instant she found the umbrella above her again, and a steady hand against the small of her back leading her to the aisle where her fans were waiting for her in rows behind the barricades. It didn’t take long working for the actress to know how much she cherished her fans, especially those who show up at events for her, and how important it was to her that she set aside a few minutes at least to talk to them. 

At the barricades, Yongsun took photos with the fans, leaning across for selfies, signing posters and phone cases, collecting the bouquets and other small gifts that were offered to her. Moonbyul held the umbrella for her the whole time, staying alert for any sign that the fans were getting too close.

“Unnie! Bodyguard-nim!” She heard one of them nearer to her side call out to her. Confused, she tried to locate the owner of the voice in the crowd.

“Here Bodyguard-nim! Thank you for taking care of our Solar.” A girl at the front was smiling widely at her, waving to get her attention. A few others around the girl chimed in with their own sincere thank yous, putting some warmth in Moonbyul despite the cold weather. 

“I’m just doing my job, no need for thank yous. Thank you for supporting Solar!” She returned the gratitude, raising her voice over the loudness of the crowd, shaking her head in fondness when she heard a chorus of ‘aw’ in return. It was truly an exchange that warmed her heart, and it didn’t go unnoticed by Yongsun, who pursed her lips in an attempt to conceal her wide smile. 

Moonbyul helped Yongsun carry most of the gifts, including flowers, cards, and a couple small boxes of what she assumed were sweet foods and treats. They left the main outdoor area when it was time to go, entering the peace of the dimmed indoor studio space. Inside, they walked together to where the audience was slowly filling up, following an usher with a small torchlight to the seat that had “SOLAR” printed across it. 

“I’ll join Wheein and the rest in the waiting room, we’ll come pick you up when the main show ends.” Moonbyul instructed, passing her a blanket and a hot water bottle, but before she could turn around to leave, there was a hand on her wrist, stopping her.

“Can I have that please?” Yongsun asked in a small voice, pointing timidly at a clear plastic box with neat rows of dalgona candy sticks in the pile of things in Moonbyul’s arms. 

“Solar-ssi I believe this is a ‘no food and drinks’ place.” Moonbyul whispered back, holding the gift just out of reach of the actress’ grasp.

“That’s just a suggestion. Now give it.” The box was snatched out of the pile, and Moonbyul couldn’t even react quickly enough to stop her, not with her arms already full. She sighed in defeat while walking away, watching endearingly at the way the actress tore open her fans’ gift excitedly, reading the card that came with it before sticking the candy into her mouth


	7. chapter seven

“What the hell, unnie.” It was the first thing she heard when she stepped into the waiting room. Wheein stood up, rounding the coffee table to her. “Why are you so drenched?”

Moonbyul didn’t realise how cold she was until the strong air-conditioning in the lounge hit her. She was shivering uncontrollably at that point, her lips a pale blue. The shoulder pads in her blazer were weighted down with the rainwater it had soaked up, and her hair was flat against her head.

“Rain.” She stated blankly, relenting when Wheein shot her a warning look. “Fine, I’ll be more careful next time, Wheein-ah, I was just busy holding the umbrella for Yongsun-unnie.”

“You better be.” Wheein patted a seat next to the heater. “You can sit here and warm up while we wait for Yongsun-unnie. Take off your blazer if it's wet.”

It was. It was so soaked in rain that it actually weighed down on her shoulders. She did as told, moving herself next to the toasty warmth of the heater. There was a trail of rainwater where she walked, starkly contrasted against the carpet of the room. She peeled the blazer off herself, flinching when the air-conditioner oscillated towards her in that same moment, draping it against the other side of the radiator and hoping that it would dry before the show ended.

“Nice.” Moonbyul snapped her head at the younger girl’s remark, following her intent gaze down to her own torso. The white shirt she wore under her blazer was nearly translucent in the light since it was wet through, making the outline of her toned stomach visible against the material.

“You fucking pervert. Get that smirk off your face.” Moonbyul let out a shriek, winding her arms around her torso for as much coverage she could give herself as possible. Wheein was lucky there wasn’t anything around in their vicinity that she could launch at her.

“I’m just saying, you’ve got nice abs.” Her voice dripped with sleaziness, unsympathetic to the way the older woman was ready to curl into a ball and die of embarrassment from all the eyes suddenly on her. “Besides, it's all girls in here, there’s no need to be shy.”

Moonbyul sent death glares her way, sitting herself far back in the seat Wheein reserved for her, and tried her best not to think about how ‘it’s all girls in here, no need to be shy’ was literally the furthest thing from reality in her eyes.

The few of them sat in silence in the room, watching the monitor and the soft speakers broadcast the show live, with an unspoken wish for it to finish soon just so that the day could end quicker.

“Moonbyul, wake up.” There was a light tap on her shoulder, and she was up with a startle. Yongsun was looking down at her where she was hunched in on herself against the heater, her arms still wound snuggly around herself. 

“Yongsun-unnie, what are you doing here, what time is it?” She rubbed at her puffy eyes, disorientated. 

“Time for dinner.” Yongsun replied, turning to accept the more comfortable set of clothes to change into from Wheein. “And also, why didn’t you tell me you were caught in the rain earlier? We could’ve taken shelter indoors sooner.” 

“I didn’t even realise myself.” She said sheepishly, reaching for her blazer without taking her other hand away from her still rather see-through shirt.

“This is what I mean when I say that you don’t give a shit about yourself, Moonbyul.” The words were sharp, thrown out at her like knives. As soon as the words left her mouth, Yongsun stilled, closing her eyes for just a moment to regain her composure. She swallowed around nothing, softening her tone before continuing.

“Please just remember to take care of yourself and don’t let people around you worry.” Moonbyul would not look her in the eyes, busying her hands with smoothing out the wrinkles on her blazer. It wasn’t guilt that was holding her back, but the way those initial words still stung a little. She gave an almost imperceptible nod just as a resort for the older girl to let the matter go, but the tension still hung in between them in a precarious balance. 

“Thank you, regardless. I’m sorry that you had to get soaked because of me.” 

“Like I said, it’s my job.” All she got was a resigned sigh in response, and Moonbyul felt a little vindicated at that. Yongsun wasn’t the only one capable of inflicting sting in her words, but what was the point of that? To get even? She scolded herself inwardly for the immaturity, but refused to let it show on the outside.

It was borderline ridiculous how just one misspoken moment could cause this thick of a tension between them, and Yongsun didn’t want to think about why that would be. Why did she care this much about it?

After Yongsun returned to the room again after having changed into the more comfortable outfit, the trio made their way out of the venue, winding through dimmed corridors and exit routes. Despite the unresolved air of strain between them, Moonbyul still remained professional, protecting her clients as they inevitably stepped out into where dozens of people were crowded, waiting for the celebrity guests to exit the studio. 

Jungsu was already waiting for them, and drove away as soon as his passengers were properly seated and buckled in the car. 

“What shall we have for dinner? Any cravings?” 

"Jung Wheein… You know what I’m going to say." Yongsun's eyes lit up, turning behind to catch her best friend’s knowing look. 

"Moonbyul unnie, you okay with tteokbokki?" Wheein didn’t need any more answers from Yongsun, instead directing the question at the guard in the front seat, smirking back at Yongsun when she grinned at her.

"Yea, I'm fine with anything." Moonbyul answered without turning around.

"Jungsu-ssi? Would you like to join us for dinner?" Yongsun asked.

"No, it's okay. My wife cooked dinner, she's waiting for me at home." Jungsu replied.

"Aww... Must be nice having someone wait for you at home with home cooked food." Wheein mused, slumping back further into her seat. The car was peaceful after that, the radio softly playing ballads that set the mood for a quiet drive. All that could be heard was Wheein quietly humming along to some songs, and Moonbyul’s fitful sniffles. 

“Unnie.” Five minutes later, Moonbyul caught sight of the actress through the mirror. She was curled in on her seat, her back bent over in and her hands clutching her sides. Pain was written all over her face and even though it wasn’t bright in the car with the tinted windows, Moonbyul could still see the beads of sweat trickling down Yongsun’s temples. Her worry intensified even more when Yongsun didn’t respond to her call, her face still contorted in a grimace.

“Unnie are you okay?” Yongsun’s lips parted slightly in an attempt to get words out, but only a whimper came out. Wheein was by her side in an instant, putting a comforting hand on her’s, without so much as a reaction from the older girl. 

“Jungsu-ssi, pull up by the side please.” Moonbyul hopped out of the passenger’s seat as soon as the car stopped, climbing to the back where Yongsun seemed to deteriorate by the second. 

“Pain.” The word fell out of her chalky pale lips. Her eyes fell from their contact with Wheein’s, becoming squeezed shut. 

“To the hospital. Now.” Wheein ordered the driver, her heart racing out of her chest seeing her best friend pass out in the seat from pain. Jungsu needed no further instructions, stepping on the pedal immediately, sending a brief note for them to hold on before weaving the car through traffic as fast as he could. 

Moonbyul could see nail-shaped indents where Yongsun was squeezing so tightly on her own palm, in an instinctual attempt to distract from the pain. She offered her own hand instead, relieved when the older girl accepted it without resistance. She tried to think back on what she knew about her client, the medical history that she was given to read up on, her habits, and everything leading up to that moment. She could not think of anything that would have explained this intense pain that Yongsun was suffering from, and especially this suddenly when she showed no prior symptoms at all.

As soon as the car stopped at the emergency bay of the hospital, Moonbyul threw open the car door, jumping out before carefully picking Yongsun up from the car seat and into her arms. She tried not to jostle the girl too much as she carried her bridal style through the doors of the emergency room, with Wheein running alongside them holding onto Yongsun’s hand tightly. 

There were immediately nurses and other hospital staff helping them, transferring Yongsun onto a stretcher. One of the nurses gasped in surprise when she saw who the new patient was, obviously having recognised her. Moonbyul took notice, but decided to let the team whisk Yongsun away before she pulled the administrative staff at the counter aside to speak to them about adhering to patient privacy laws. She hardly considered herself a scary person, but her intimidating side came out in that moment when the occasion called for it, and she made full use of it to ensure that the staff did everything they could to make sure that Yongsun’s sudden visit to the hospital was kept out of the public’s knowledge. 

Wheein was pacing up and down the hallway outside the door that Yongsun disappeared behind, her hair a disheveled mess from the many times she ran her hands through it in stress. Moonbyul was worried sick too, the coldness of the adrenaline in her veins yet to subside, but she knew that she needed to be strong for the younger girl. 

“Wheein-ah, come here.” She said, repeating herself when it went unheard the first time. Wheein dragged herself onto the seat next to Moonbyul, letting herself fall into Moonbyul’s open arms. 

“She’ll be okay.” Moonbyul whispered into the top of her head, and knew that Wheein heard her when she felt the younger girl nestle closer into the embrace.

An hour later, the doors opened again, revealing a nurse in scrubs who wordlessly led them into the ward where Yongsun was resting. They hurried in, Moonbyul letting Wheein run ahead of her. Yongsun was tucked into the hospital bed, the calm but tired look on her face a stark contrast to the pained one they saw earlier. Before the three girls could talk, a doctor walked in with a file on hand.

“Kim Yongsun-ssi, I’m your attending doctor, Dr. Lee. How are you feeling?” He greeted, nodding at Moonbyul and Wheein too.

“Fine, just tired.” Yongsun answered weakly. 

“Yes, I expected so. You should not have taken those drugs. Did you know you were allergic?” There was a confused pause in that space, as the three girls took a moment to process what the doctor just asked.

“What… drugs?” Yongsun asked, propping herself onto her arms to sit up. “Saem, the only pills I took were my multivitamin gummies, which I take everyday. Nothing like that has happened to me before.”

She hated the way the two other girls’ eyes immediately fell onto hers, carrying so much dread and fear in them that it pressed heavily down on her chest.

“I didn’t take anything I know could put me in the hospital, I swear.”

“Well according to the lab report we did earlier, what caused your severe cramps and cold sweat was the drug chlorpheniramine, which you are allergic to. So you have definitely taken it. Could you have accidentally mistaken it for another pill?”

“Her multivitamins are pink gummies. I don't think she will mistake cold medicine for pink gummy vitamins. Right, unnie?” Wheein asked, the tone of accusation not going unnoticed by everyone.

“Will she be okay?” Moonbyul interjected calmly, willing for them to get all the necessary information they needed from the doctor and continuing their conversation without a stranger in attendance.

“Yes, there are no lasting side effects. She can stay the night to rest, but most likely can be discharged tomorrow morning if all goes well. I would advise her to take a leave from work for at least two days just so she can recuperate properly. Rest well, Yongsun-ssi.” The doctor nodded politely as a goodbye, before slotting the clipboard into the holder by the bed and leaving to see the other patients. The girls watched him leave, none of them having the words to break the silence.

“You know you’re allergic to that drug, why did you take it?” Moonbyul was the first to speak up. There were so many questions in her mind from what the doctor told them, and even more now that she recalled chlorpheniramine being a part of the short list of drugs that was stated under Yongsun’s drug allergies. But she didn’t need to have that list to know it - it was public knowledge that she was allergic to it, having once taken it on the set of a live TV broadcast and subsequently getting her hospitalisation make it onto several new headlines.

It was a dramatic turn of events for that reality show Yongsun was on, after she seeked out the mislabelled medication on the table in that house that the few guests had to cram into, and subsequently collapsed in the middle of the filming. She was rushed to the hospital as the viewers watched on, and a statement was released the following day detailing exactly what had happened.

“I said I didn’t take it. All I took was that gummy. I think I would know the difference.” Yongsun said through gritted teeth, the exhaustion of the day’s events adding onto her frustration on not being believed. 

“It’s really stated here, that there is a high dose of chlorpheniramine in your system, along with… Unnie ah, how many gummies did you eat? Why is your blood sugar level so high?” Wheein asked, flipping through the report the doctor left behind.

“Just one gummy?” She thought for a while, replying again in a small voice. “And that whole pack of dalgona.”

“Wait, you finished everything?” Moonbyul gawked at her, recalling just how many sticks of that candy there were in that box.

“Yes, and?” She was being snarky and sharp, but honestly did not have it in her to tone down any of the pent up frustration she was feeling.

“Is that the only thing you ate besides the gummy?” There was a dread that was filling Moonbyul, a suspicion that she prayed wasn’t true. Yongsun nodded in reply to her, and Moonbyul got to work, rummaging through Yongsun’s bag until she dug out the bottle of gummies. It was a reputable brand, and one look inside the bottle told her that those gummies were just that - multivitamin candies. It was pink like Wheein said, and it was a reach to ever think that Yongsun could have mistaken the soft gummy for the bitter hardness of a cold tablet.

“I think we really need to consider the possibility that the gift was spiked with that drug. Especially since everyone knows that Yongsun-unnie is allergic to it.” Moonbyul dropped the bottle back into the bag, fishing out instead the small card that she recalled being attached by a ribbon to that box of dalgona candies.

“That gift was given to me by my fan, why the hell would they want to put in something that would hurt me?” 

“Then how else would you explain this? You said you didn’t take the drug knowingly, and the only other thing you took besides these vitamins were those dalgona candies. Where else could the drug have come from?” Moonbyul argued.

“Does this letter not sound odd to you? ‘Enjoy this well, and spend the rest of the day thinking about me.’ Where’s the box this came with?” Moonbyul pushed even more, handing the card to Wheein when the younger girl stuck her hand out for it.

“In the trash bin at the venue. And no, the letter sounds like every other fan letter I receive. Because that’s what you say when you’re writing a letter to someone you like. There’s nothing odd about it.” Yongsun was close to tears at that point, worked up and frustrated, but her exhaustion was preventing any of it from showing properly. “I don’t know what kind of clients you had before this, but my life isn’t as dramatic as you think. I’m not a fucking president or diplomat. No one’s trying to assassinate me.” Yongsun snapped at her, turning to Wheein for support.

Wheein looked between the both of them, sighing tersely. She held a hand up to Moonbyul’s arm when the girl opened her mouth to argue, giving her a faint smile to show that there was no malice behind that gesture. As much as she wanted to know the truth behind the drugs in her best friend’s system, she also saw how clear the purpling of the skin under her eyes was, and the way her lips were more white than any colour at all. 

“Unnie, I leave it up to you. If you want to pursue this, I will do everything I can to investigate, and escalate this to the police. But if you don’t, then we’ll make sure that only the CEO knows, no one else, and especially not the press.” It was all she could offer in that moment, walking over to sit by the side of her unnie’s bed.

“I really don’t want to pursue it, Wheein-ah.” Yongsun said. The retort on the tip of Moonbyul’s tongue died down immediately when she heard the lethargy in her tone, deciding that this matter could wait for another day. Yongsun needed her rest, and so did she and Wheein. 

Moonbyul offered to stay at the hospital with Yongsun through the night, since after all it was a very public hospital. If it was any other time, Yongsun would have argued and rejected her offer, but she was honestly too tired to care, gesturing vaguely at the chairs in her ward before turning in her bed to let her back face the two girls. As she returned from walking Wheein down to the taxi stand, Moonbyul saw that Yongsun was already asleep, the events of the day weighing heavily on her eyelids. 

She knew that she was the last person Yongsun wanted to see when she woke up, the intensity of their earlier exchange still draining on her mind. She tucked herself into the tiny chair, making herself as comfortable as she possibly could in that hard plastic, removing her blazer to use as a blanket instead. Her phone buzzed in her pant pocket, making her groan when she realised she had to stand up from her intricately adjusted position just to retrieve it.

“So I take it that you’re not coming tonight?” It was a text from Hyejin. She checked the time. 9.30pm. Hardly late enough for her best friend to conclude that she wasn’t going to show up.

“How do you know I wouldn’t just appear?” 

“Maybe because you sent Wheein here instead?” 

She… what?

“Unnie ah, I don’t actually need babysitting, you know. Don’t need to send your spies to watch over me.” Hyejin continued when Moonbyul didn’t reply, adding an angry face emoji at the end. Moonbyul’s finger hovered over the green call button, letting the new information sink in before she pressed it.

“I didn’t send her.” Moonbyul said the second the line got through. There was a shuffling sound on the other end that she assumed was Hyejin scrambling to get out of the other girl’s earshot.

“Then you’re telling me she came here voluntarily?” Hyejin asked in a desperate but hushed whisper. 

“Is that so hard to believe? Ma’am, you own a bar and she wants drinks. So.” There was a sigh on the other line.

“Unnie-ah… Wheein, she-” Hyejin paused and lowered her voice even more. “She kissed me last night.” 

“She what?” Moonbyul accidentally yelled out, immediately stilling when she saw the sleeping patient stir on the bed, a nurse looking up from her station. She had to clear her throat and count to ten in her head before she felt calm enough to continue, retreating further into the corner of the ward.

“So…did you like it?” She could hear Hyejin physically suppress the urge to punch her over the phone, and she thoroughly enjoyed teasing her best friend like that. 

“We were both drunk, it was so quick and over so fast, I doubt she remembers anything, hell, I don’t even remember most of it.” Hyejin rambled in a single breath, then stopped herself to breathe. “But yes I liked it.” 

Moonbyul giggled audibly, trying to remember the last time she had something like this to tease Hyejin over. Memories of last night sprang into her head, how the two younger girls were taking zero heed of the fact that there were people watching, and openly flirting without a care in the world. It was clear as day to everyone, but apparently not them, that they liked each other. 

She settled on telling Hyejin what happened another day, not wanting to hold her back from being with her new guest. She ended the call quickly after telling Hyejin to “go get your girl” and could still hear the tail-end of Hyejin’s protests as she pulled the phone away, knowing she would pay for it when she saw her in person soon. 

A nurse walked in then, doing her final rounds for the night. Yongsun’s vitals looked fine, and so all she had to do was replace the drip hanging above the bed. She regarded Moonbyul for a moment, cocking her head to a side.

“Miss, are you feeling okay?” Moonbyul looked up at her question, slightly taken aback.

“Yes, I’m fine, why do you ask?” 

“It's just, you look pale. Are you sure you’re alright?” The nurse asked again, concerned.

“It’s just the lighting in here. Unflattering.” She played it off with a joke, and it worked. The nurse smiled and finished the rest of her job, leaving quietly after. Moonbyul knew she was right, though. She did feel unusually cold and clammy all over, and her head was killing her, but it was nothing that sleep can’t fix. After making sure that the blanket was properly covering Yongsun, she headed back to her stiff plastic chair, redoing all the adjusting and fidgeting until she was comfortable again. It took an hour of restlessness, but she was finally able to fall asleep.

\------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Sorry it's being posted so late! I had to run a double shift at work. And also, I saw how some of your theories in the comments were correct and it took me EVERYTHING to not reply hOW DID YOU KNOW???


	8. chapter eight

Yongsun woke up to the nurse’s light taps on her shoulder.

“Yongsun-ssi, I have to draw some blood for a test, I’m sorry.” She helped sit her up properly, and did her job as quickly as she could. It was then that Yongsun realised who was sitting in the chair next to her bed.

“Wheein? Where’s Moonbyul?” The younger girl roused from her nap, a smile immediately forming on her face when she saw her friend awake and alert.

“Moonbyul-unnie went home earlier, after I arrived.” She stood up to pat Yongsun’s head. “How are you feeling? All better?”

“Yes, actually. No pain, nothing. All better.” The actress closed her eyes at Wheein’s ministrations, enjoying the rare opportunity for softness after all the stress of the previous day. “And, Byul left willingly?”

Wheein let out a snigger. “Nope, only after I threatened her and shoved her into the cab myself.”

She knew it. There wasn’t a chance that stubborn idiot saw Wheein arrive and said ‘ah yes, finally my turn to go.’ There was a short pause in their conversation after that when the nurse returned to collect the file she left behind.

“I’m sorry for putting you through all that last night, Wheein-ah.” Yongsun tugged at Wheein’s wrist, making her sit on the bed next to her.

“It’s not your fault, don’t apologise for it. Are you sure you want to drop the case and not investigate it?”

“I’m sure. It’s probably just my own carelessness, I don’t want to waste everyone’s time with some investigation.” Yongsun explained. Truthfully, she had no idea how it all happened, and her memory of the previous day’s event didn’t hold a single clue as to what may have caused it. But she felt that this small incident doesn’t warrant the full scale investigation that she knew would happen if she decided to pursue the case. She would rather just move on with her life forgetting this trip to the hospital happened at all.

“Moonbyul-unnie talked to me about it this morning too. She’s worried, unnie, that this will happen again if we don’t find out who is responsible for it. I’m worried too. Can we compromise on not accepting any gifts that are edibles?” Wheein treaded carefully with her words and tone, trying to be as gentle as she could but still wanting to assert her point. What she said was true, and despite how much she was going to miss the treats and gifts the fans showered her with, she knew that this was for her own safety, and she badly wanted to erase all those lines of worry on Wheein’s face.

“Yes, we can compromise on that.” She said softly, laying her own hand over Wheein’s. “Also, Moonbyul…”

“Won’t talk about it again. I made her promise. I know that all it’s going to do is stress you out.” It was incredible to Yongsun just how well Wheein knew her at that point. The two of them sat there talking about anything but the day before, until the doctor came along an hour later to give her the all clear to leave.

Wheein helped Yongsun with the discharge paperwork, the two of them discreetly leaving with glasses and masks on to where Jungsu was waiting with the car. Though he was just their driver, Yongsun knew how much Jungsu cared about them, and especially her. She assured him that she was fine, doing her best to crack jokes the whole way home until his smiles were more relaxed than not.

“My sofa, baby I’m sorry for not appreciating you more before.” Yongsun said dramatically, falling back onto the couch and making obnoxiously loud kissing noises at it, relishing in how soft it was compared to the sterile bedsheets of the hospital bed.

“It was just one night, Princess Solar.” Wheein grunted, throwing the fleece blanket on the drying rack at the sprawled out figure on the couch. “I need to go back to the company to talk to CEO-nim, so I’ll get going. Promise me you’ll eat your meals?”

The older girl nodded, head still planted onto the seat of the couch, before springing up to hug Wheein in gratitude for taking care of her. She spent the morning watching TV shows, lazying around the house in a rare moment of restfulness. Usually, there would be nothing that could keep her still, choosing always to do chores or work away at her scripts, but she finally found it in herself to rest up that day.

As she scrolled through her social media, she could see the articles about the event pop up one by one. She didn’t have to worry about suddenly seeing news about her hospitalisation appear on any of the sites, taking comfort in the knowledge that nobody saw them, and their team back at the office was alert for any of such leaks. However, there were a few other articles from the event that caught her eye, particularly those that weren’t just praising her outfit, but also bringing Moonbyul into the picture.

“5 times Solar’s new bodyguard was the ultimate girl crush!” Yongsun clicked on it, intrigued. In the article, there were pictures of the two of them from all the public events of the past weeks. In every picture, Moonbyul had her long hair swooshing on her shoulders, looking sharp in the suits she always had on. Her hands were always wrapped protectively around Yongsun, and Wheein too, if she was there. The pictures from yesterday appeared, showing the rain pouring down on Moonbyul’s shoulder as she leaned the umbrella over to shelter Yongsun better.

All these little things she now spotted made her heart ache and race at the same time. She recalled how their last interaction went before she fell asleep, her sharpness when she dismissed Moonbyul’s concerns. Though she didn’t regret standing her ground, she hated how harsh she sounded. It was Moonbyul, wasn’t it, who carried her into the emergency room and onto a stretcher. Her memory was hazy, but she was sure that it was Moonbyul’s arms she felt so safely tucked in.

She wanted to apologise. Moonbyul was just doing her job, keeping her safe, and going miles out of her way to do so. Yongsun admitted to herself, she was being incredibly stupid for her wilful avoidance of the incident, and deep in her gut she knew Moonbyul was right. But everything about seeing her best friend’s dried tracks of tears from worry, to her guard looking ready to mobilise the Korean army to find the cause of that hospitalisation, gave her a fear so deep that she just wanted to move on cleanly from it.

She could not pinpoint what that nagging feeling of anxiety was. It was like a soft but suffocating voice, reminding her of the magnitude at which she was loved and cared for, and how far the people around her would go to protect her. She didn’t know exactly when Moonbyul joined this small group that she could think of, but her bodyguard, of barely a few months, was prominently there nonetheless. And it terrified her to weigh it in her head - exactly how much of it was just Moonbyul ‘doing her job’, and how much of it was something else entirely?

A ringing tone broke her out of her thoughts, thankful-fucking-ly, she thought. It was a video call from Wheein, but using her work email instead of her personal phone number. She sighed heavily to no one, peeking at the mirror to make sure she was at least presentable, knowing that there was going to be more than just her best friend in that call.

It was a longer conference than she’d hoped it would be, with everything from new security protocol run-throughs to extended nagging sessions by the CEO, to finally concluding that five-way call with Yongsun’s solemn promise to be careful and listen well to everything that they had to say.

The absence of someone she knew had to have been invited, but didn’t show up in the call, stuck out a lot to her when she clicked the end call button. She picked her phone up again, hovering her finger over her chat with Moonbyul, but tapping down instead on Wheein’s name.

‘Why wasn’t Byul in the call?’

‘Her day off, remember? We texted her to ask if she wanted to just sit in for the meeting, but she didn’t reply, so we just went on without her. CEO wants to brief her about it face to face anyways I think.’ Wheein’s reply came in instantly.

‘Oh. Just seemed weird.’ Yongsun typed out, receiving a shrugging emoji in reply. She set her phone aside after that, ruffling up her hair from the neat side sweep she did for the call, collapsing back onto the bed and mentally warning herself to wake up in an hour for her meal.

* * *

By lunchtime the next day, the apologies she wanted to give her guard hung so distractingly at the front of her mind that it drove her to send five texts out, asking for a meet-up at the cafe between their apartments. It was odd when the reply didn’t come in immediately, since Moonbyul always seemed to be alert about any incoming texts, especially if they were from Yongsun and the rest of the staff.

She grew more antsy with every minute that her phone’s message ringtone didn’t sound out, so she let herself out of her flat anyway, heading to the cafe first to wait. The streets were not quiet, since it was midday after all and people were filing in and out of restaurants and eateries. She could see the muted, sandy yellow sign of the cafe at the end of the street, but stopped instead at the entrance of the dimly lit bar.

"Oh, Yongsun-unnie, why are you here? Are you sure you should be walking around like that?" Hyejin looked up, surprised at who she was seeing standing at the open doors.

"It's near my house, so it's okay. Was Moonbyul here?" Yongsun looked around for the head of brunette hair.

"No, she didn’t come here. She called me in the morning telling me that she’ll be home the whole day and not to expect her here at night. She sounded really bad though, so I wanted to drop by but…” Hyejin trailed off, gesturing to the pub full of day drinkers.

"Oh… Is she sick?" Yongsun frowned. She knew Moonbyul hadn't recovered from that cold, and got caught in the rain again at that event, plus the cold night she spent accompanying her at the hospital.

"Seems like it. Unnie seldom gets sick, but once she does, it's usually quite bad." Hyejin explained. "You saw her the previous night right? She didn’t tell me where you two went but was she okay then?”

So Moonbyul didn’t tell Hyejin what happened.

“Not sure, she seemed fine but she’s always acting alright even when she isn't.” Hyejin chuckled sadly at that statement, silently agreeing with the observation.

“Unnie, are you free now?” The younger girl asked.

“Just going to have lunch at the cafe three shops away. Why?”

"Can I trouble you to check on her? I will pass you her address and spare keys. Please? I can't leave now."

"Uh..." However worried she was for the bodyguard, she was hesitant at showing up at anyone’s house unannounced and uninvited.

"Please, unnie? If she gets mad at you just tell her I sent you.” Hyejin’s brows were upturned in hopefulness, which Yongsun honestly found to be hard to say no to.

The two of them exchanged numbers, and Hyejin left Moonbyul’s address in her inbox. It was interesting to say the least, to know that they live so near each other that it was within walking distance.

"Unnie, call me if anything happens okay?" Hyejin reminded her just as she was about to leave.

"Don't worry. I'll update you." Yongsun turned back to regard the girl, the genuine concern clear in her slight frown. Moon Byulyi, you sure have a way of making every person that cares about you stressed over your well-being all the time.

She opted for porridge from the small eatery nearby, wildly guessing at an option she thought Moonbyul would like. At the address Hyejin gave her, she stood at the door, ringing the bell in hopes that she wouldn’t actually have to barge in, but no one came for the door.

With a sigh, she reached under the flowerpot that Hyejin indicated to her, and sure enough, there was a keycard that slotted into the lock to open the door. There was no one in the living room at first glance. The apartment was a modest size, minimalistic in its decorations with only the necessary appliances present. There were photo frames of her family hanging on the walls and in every corner possible, and in every single photo, Moonbyul was smiling brighter than Yongsun ever saw her smile.

She laid the porridge down on the table soundlessly and dropped her bag onto the couch. Just as she turned around, the creaking sound of a door opening could be heard.

"Hyejin?" Moonbyul called out groggily while leaning herself against the doorframe. Her eyes were practically closed, and her hair was a mess on her head.

She stopped short when she saw the person standing in her living room.

"Yongsun unnie? Why are you here?" She straightened up immediately, walking towards Yongsun who was stunned and couldn't make anything out of her mouth.

Moonbyul looked ten times worse than she did the night before. Her lips were pale and chapped and she could barely hold her eyes open. Before she could explain herself, Moonbyul tripped over the foot of a floor lamp, falling to the floor.

“Are you okay? Why are you so careless?” Yongsun rushed to her side, supporting her shoulders as the girl pushed herself up with her help.

With Moonbyul in her arms, she could feel the heat radiating off her body, and the cold droplets of sweat rolling down her neck. She reached for Moonbyul’s forehead and held on firmly as Moonbyul tried to dodge her hand.

"You're having a fever. Did you see a doctor?" Yongsun practically carried Moonbyul to sit on the couch, realising that the girl was too weak to even walk properly.

"I am? You haven’t answered my question, how did you come in?" There was no sign of Hyejin anywhere, so it couldn’t be her that let her in.

"I texted you but you didn't reply. So I went to Hyejin’s pub hoping to find you. Hyejin told me you are sick and asked me to come over to check on you." She explained.

"I’m sorry, I think I didn’t charge my phone earlier. You didn't have to come over, unnie, you just got discharged, you should be resting at home." Her head hung lowly to the side, mumbles tumbling out under her breath about getting back at Hyejin for this.

"If I hadn’t come over, I wouldn't know you are this sick. You could have fainted at home and no one would have known. Why didn't you tell anyone?" The frown on her face deepened. “And don’t blame Hyejin please, she doesn’t know I was hospitalised. I’m surprised you didn’t tell her.”

"I take the non-disclosure part of my contract very seriously.” Moonbyul answered in an exaggerated official voice, hoping to coax an ease to the conversation. It didn’t work. “And I was sleeping. I thought I would be better after I woke up."

She didn’t feel any better, though. All the nap did was make her feel like a haze was settling over her head, not doing much to take away the throbbing headache and overall feeling of looming death.

Yongsun didn’t realise she was staring at her with furrowed brows until the two of them made eye contact, Moonbyul’s eyes softening immediately.

“I’ll be okay, unnie, please don’t worry.” You’re the sick one and you’re reassuring me?

"I’m guessing you haven’t eaten anything. I bought us food.” She brought the container of porridge over to the coffee table, pushing it in front of Moonbyul. She reached out to shift the things on the table to the other end, but her hand stopped when she saw the paper lying under the weight of the television remote.

She picked up a brown envelope that bore her name and the hospital logo printed in bold on the front. When Moonbyul didn’t seem to stop her or reply to her at all, she opened it with a questioning look thrown at the other girl’s way.

“I know you said you wanted to let it go, but I’m just keeping this for reference. Just in case.” Moonbyul said, as Yongsun pulled out the papers that read “Medical Report” on it. She quickly dropped it back into the envelope in a haste, wishing that she hadn’t brought up the matter again, and hoping that this was the last she had to be reminded of it.

She got up wordlessly and walked to the kitchen, looking for the medicine cabinet, praying that Moonbyul had paracetamol at home. Knowing her, she probably hasn’t taken any medication at all. When she returned with the pills and a cup of water, she found that the container of porridge was barely touched at all. "Why? Not good?"

Moonbyul covered her mouth before admitting. "No, it’s just… No appetite.”

“You still have to try to eat something, you need to for your medication.” Yongsun coaxed, sitting herself opposite her to start on her own bowl of food. With the few glances she stole, she could see the younger girl struggling but managing to stomach a few more mouthfuls.

“Wheein talked to me about it already, I won’t talk about the incident anymore, I promise, unnie.” Her spoon dropped back into the bowl, as if those words were physically preventing her from eating.

“Byul-ah… I’m-” Yongsun gingerly set hers down too, her mind racing with ways to put her thoughts into words. “I’m sorry if I was rude to you in the hospital. I shouldn’t have treated you like that.”

“Hey, I understand. You just had your stomach pumped and went through something so bad I really shouldn’t have overstepped and pushed you. I’m sorry too.” She tasted a sourness in her mouth like a manifestation of her guilt, the memory of how she hovered by Yongsun’s bed hounding her for answers like it was an interrogation.

“No, stop excusing my behaviour, Byul. I was the one who acted poorly, so just please accept my apology without blaming yourself.” She reached out for the girl’s hand, at that point truly begging that she just stopped being so giving all the time. “This, all this, is what I mean. You need to look out for yourself too, if not for your own sake then for the sake of people who care for you. Hyejin worries so much for you, do you know that?”

Moonbyul was pensive, her eyes falling onto their joined hands. She knew that Yongsun was referring to a lot more than just the incident yesterday, and it struck her harder than she thought it would. She knew people cared, but they worried too much, so much so it became a burden to know her overprotective and giving personality caused so much stress, especially for Hyejin who she should be the one caring for. Everything stayed unspoken between them, this mess of feelings too much to speak aloud.

“I know people worry, but you don’t have to worry about me, really. I can take care of myself. I’m still alive and kicking, aren’t I?’ Yongsun sighed at Moonbyul’s reply, knowing that getting her to talk out the issue properly was going to be a tall mountain to climb. They spent the rest of the meal in a comfortable peace, Yongsun insisting on cleaning up once they were done.

She returned to find Moonbyul slouched over the table with her head rested on her arms, so she gently tugged at her hands to bring her to the bedroom. She let the girl climb into bed herself, before tucking the covers up under her chin, turning the fan away so it wasn’t blowing directly at her.

“You can leave, unnie, I’ll be fine. You need rest too, please.” Moonbyul watched her fuss around the bedroom, and said in a weak voice from her bed.

“I’ll leave when I want to leave, Moonbyul-ssi.” She drawled out without looking up from whatever she was doing. “Sleep, don’t talk so much.”

She wasn’t planning on leaving the sick girl alone. She grabbed the towels she found in the drawer and headed to the bathroom. She returned with a filled pail of water and the soaked towels, greeted by the sight of a sleeping Moonbyul. She was clearly more exhausted than she was letting on, seeing as how it took her less than five minutes to fall asleep.

Yongsun squeezed the towel dry, placing it across Moonbyul's forehead, sweeping her baby hairs out of the way. As soon the coldness of the towel hit her, Moonbyul flinched, albeit not waking up. "Sorry, I know it's cold." Yongsun whispered to her as if she could hear it.

She closed the door behind her as gently as she could after she was done, leaving the pail and towels behind. Taking her phone out, she saw that Hyejin had already left her a text.

'How is she?'

‘Having a fever. Sleeping now. I'll look after her, don't worry she will be fine.’

‘Wheein just told me what happened last night, I’m sorry for asking you to help me when you’re just discharged :( Are you feeling better?’

Wheein did what? She took a moment to consider the irony of her manager being the one to divulge this news to Hyejin, instead of Moonbyul. Since when did Wheein and Hyejin’s relationship progress to talking-about-your-actress-friend's-life kind of close?

‘Don’t worry about it, I’m feeling completely fine already.’ She typed a quick reply to Hyejin, before bringing up her conversation with Wheein.

‘Do you tell all your bartenders that your best friend was in the hospital?’ Wheein came online almost immediately.

‘Unnie-ah… how did you find out?’ She made a meek attempt at worming herself out of the situation, tacking on gifs after gifs of puppies.

‘Byul is really sick, I’m at hers right now. Don’t think you’re getting away with it, you traitor. Call you later.’ She sent the message, chuckling in disbelief at the way the younger girl was trying to be cute with it.

‘I’m blocking your number!’ The reply came, followed by a few more messages. ‘Take care of her well, but don’t forget to rest well too, unnie. Please don’t forget to eat :(’

The conversation ended there, and Yongsun dropped her phone in her lap as she laid back on the couch, heeding Wheein’s instruction and letting her eyes fall shut. Perhaps it was the residual lethargy from that hospital visit, or the emotional stress she had needlessly put herself through the whole day, because she didn’t find it hard to fall asleep at all. She didn’t know how much time she spent sleeping, but she knew it was a shout coming from the bedroom that eventually woke her up again.


	9. chapter nine

Yongsun leaped off the couch, throwing open the bedroom door, spotting the Byul-shaped mound under the covers. She could hear little whimpers from where she was standing, and when she cautiously inched closer, she saw that the girl’s breaths were coming out in short bursts, her nose scrunched up, shaking her head from side to side.

"Moonbyul. Byul-ah." Yongsun called out to her, kneeling down by the side of the bed, but not daring yet to touch her.

What nightmare she was having just seemed to intensify, and her inhales became faster and shorter, the grimace on her face turning into one resembling pain. Not knowing what to do, Yongsun grabbed Moonbyul’s hand, and let out a sharp gasp when the girl clutched onto it for dear life.

"Byul-ah. It's me. Wake up, please." Yongsun said louder this time, hoping that Moonbyul could hear her. She was panicking herself, never having this much difficulty waking anyone up from such an intense nightmare ever.

The soft whimpers became audible but incoherent words, before it became clearer and clearer. "No, no, don't!" Before Yongsun could react, Moonbyul shot up, sitting upright in the bed with one of her hands still holding onto Yongsun’s and the other gripping the sheets by her side. Her bloodshot eyes stared unseeingly forward, as she ran her hand roughly through her sweat-soaked hair. Her heart was still pounding when she desperately forced her eyes shut to clear her vision, and opened them again to see that she was in the safety of her own room, with a pair of soft brown eyes staring at her in concern.

"Are you okay, Byul-ah?" Yongsun was still kneeling by the bed and holding her hand like an anchor, though her voice was shaky and quiet.

"Unnie, you’re still here." She said it like a question. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a dream."

A glint caught her eye, and she noticed it was a stream of tears rolling down the older girl’s cheeks. "Why are you crying? It was nothing. Just a bad dream." She turned herself to the side, wiping Yongsun's tears away with her hands, letting Yongsun rest her cheek in her palm.

The crease on Yongsun’s forehead won’t go away, her eyes still filled with worry and panic. She contemplated asking Moonbyul about the nightmare, to spill whatever she had to be bottling in, but stopped herself. She was more of a mess than Moonbyul was, in no state to provide any comfort or sound advice.

"I'm sorry. Don't cry, please. I’m so sorry, I must have scared you." Moonbyul didn’t know what else to do except pull Yongsun in for a hug, feeling her sag against her body in relief. "You were here the whole time? Why didn't you go home?"

"I slept on your couch.” She let out a long sigh, swallowing the lump in her throat. “You’re the one that got a nightmare but I’m somehow crying harder than you.”

Moonbyul pulled apart from the hug, patting around the bed for her phone.

“Shit it’s already dinnertime, are you hungry? Should I cook something for the both of us or...” She swung her legs off the bed, letting the fuzziness in her head clear up before slowly standing up.

“Moonbyul-ssi, you can barely stand. I’ll cook. You can watch the TV while waiting.” Moonbyul wanted to argue, since it was her house after all, but decided against it because she was genuinely curious about the type of food Kim Yongsun cooked.

She settled down on a bar stool at her kitchen island, a wet towel slapped across her forehead and a mug of hot chocolate sitting in her hands. Her phone was in front of her playing some drama, but her attention was on the chef in the kitchen. She watched as Yongsun pried apart her fridge, laying out all the ingredients she had in front of her before picking out a few for whatever that she was cooking. And so far, she couldn’t guess. Carrots, peas, fish, edamame, and a singular mushroom. There was already a sizable saucer of white sugar on the table, along with half the inventory of seasoning that Moonbyul owned.

One and a half episodes of the drama later, Yongsun let out a hushed triumphant cheer, using the ladle to scoop out what looked like really colourful porridge into a bowl. At this point, Moonbyul didn’t care whatever the fuck was that concoction, the thrilled look on Yongsun’s face as she served her masterpiece to Moonbyul was enough for her.

Yongsun scooped a spoonful of it, blowing on it to make sure it was not too hot before motioning for Moonbyul to open her mouth. She swallowed it all at one shot, staring at the other girl. "Why? Is it bad?" Yongsun’s smile wiped off her face when she saw Moonbyul’s reaction.

"No, it's delicious." Moonbyul grinned widely, rushing to take over the spoon and dug in eagerly.

"Really?" Yongsun's voice squeaked in happiness, grabbing the other spoon and taking a taste too. She could barely hold herself back from spitting it out, let alone swallow that whole mouthful of porridge.

“What the fuck.” She cursed, dropping the spoon back into the bowl and snatching Moonbyul’s bowl towards her when she saw that the girl was sending spoonfuls after spoonfuls into her mouth. “Stop eating that. I’ll order something for you.”

“Give it back, I like it.” Yongsun glared at Moonbyul in disbelief, trying to decide if the fever fried her taste buds or was the girl simply making a mockery out of her genuine effort at cooking for her. The porridge was objectively horrible. It was somehow over-seasoned and tasteless at the same time, and the experimental combination of ingredients she hoped added some spice to the dish backfired terribly.

“I really cannot tell if you’re being serious.” She took both bowls in her hands, standing up to toss the food away. “Either way, I’m not letting you eat this. No need for another one of us to get her stomach pumped.”

"It’s not that bad, unnie.” Moonbyul called out after her, the disappointment and sincerity thick in her voice. “It’s been so long since anyone cooked for me.”

The words made Yongsun pause for a brief moment before she emptied the bowls down the trash. She never considered that. She thought about how Moonbyul cooked for her when she was hungover, even bringing a bowl of it to Wheein. Didn’t Moonbyul used to always cook for Hyejin too? So when exactly was the last time anyone put in that same effort for her?

“Forget this porridge, okay? I’ll cook for you again when I’ve studied some recipes, not subject you to be my guinea pig.” Yongsun returned to the table, picking up her phone to order food in for the both of them. Moonbyul lit up next to her, poking her nose over the phone to take a peek at the screen.

“If I’d known I would get home-cooked food when I’m sick, maybe I would have fallen sick sooner.” She mumbled under her breath cheekily.

"Who says shit like that?” Yongsun shrieked incredulously, smacking Moonbyul mercilessly hard on her arm.

"Ow... Don't hit a sick person." She soothed her arm, actually surprised that the actress' hand packed such a punch.

"You deserved it for joking about being sick." Yongsun scolded the younger girl, revoking her right to choose her own dinner as she turned the screen out of Moonbyul’s sight and selected a simple and sick-person-friendly meal for her.

She ignored the sulking girl’s several attempts at seeing the order, taking her phone with her when she left the table in search of a thermometer. She found one in the medicine cabinet, rinsing it carefully before sticking it unceremoniously into Moonbyul’s mouth.

With the thermometer sticking out of her mouth, and the stupid grin she refuses to tear off her face, Moonbyul truly didn’t look any bit like the serious, professional and highly experienced guard that she was. She looked like she was holding stars in her eyes, Yongsun thought, before realising it was her that Moonbyul was staring at like that.

"Something on my face?” Yongsun had to look away, before she crumpled from the weight of that gaze.

“No, it’s just that you’re suddenly taking care of me a lot. I’m not used to it.”

“I promised your bestfriend to make sure you don’t die alone in your house.” She said cooly, or as cooly as she could manage with her heart beating out of her chest.

“Is it really that?” Moonbyul asked after a pause, and Yongsun forgot how to breathe. “Or are you just nursing me back to health so you can say ‘I saved your life’ as a bargaining chip the next time Wheein has to pick a side?” Moonbyul continued, the playfulness in her tone enough to undercut the awkwardness that almost threatened to overtake the room.

“Yeah, I’m helping you get better so you can come back to work to annoy me again.” This time, Yongsun was careful to make it clear she was joking, not wanting to see the hurt in Moonbyul’s eyes again.

They watched the TV together while waiting for the food to arrive, though the drama on the screen was neglected in favour of the news articles that Yongsun found the previous morning. They laughed over some of the articles, at the imaginative and odd assumptions that the media had about Kim Yongsun’s mysterious new bodyguard. When the doorbell rang, Yongsun hopped off the couch like a learned reflex, setting up their meals in less than a minute.

Somehow, Yongsun ended up tucking Moonbyul into bed after their dinner, the younger girl willingly letting her do it. The medicine had obviously kicked in, as she heard soft snores by the time she crept quietly out and closed the door behind her. What happened earlier flashed into her mind, as she silently prayed that the girl gets the sleep she needed and not be plagued by whatever seemed to be haunting her in her nightmares.

On the way back home, she found herself wandering towards probably the only pub in these streets that played jazz at 10pm on a Saturday night. She entered the pub, weaving through the crowds and headed for Hyejin’s usual spot at the bar counter.

“Unnie! Did you just leave Byulyi-unnie’s place?” Hyejin instinctively grabbed a beer to offer the actress, before the previous few nights came into mind and she swapped it out for soda instead. Yongsun nodded and accepted the drink gratefully, taking a seat as far away from the passed out drunk group of men at the other end of the counter. She suddenly had a whole lot more admiration and respect for Hyejin’s job.

"So late? How was she?" Hyejin asked when it was clear Yongsun wasn’t going to initiate the conversation.

"She's slightly better now. Fever's going down. Gave her some medicine before I left." Yongsun replied, forcing her tone gentler when she saw the anxiousness weaved into the younger girl’s features.

It did help to soothe Hyejin’s worries, as she immediately got to drawn out complaints about her best friend’s lack of regard for her own well-being, and general taste for keeping Hyejin on her toes for her safety. Yongsun found herself relating to everything Hyejin ranted about. Not that she cared particularly much, but just an observation as professional colleagues. Anyone who saw Moonbyul’s lifestyle and personality would have the same concerns.

It suddenly occurred to Yongsun, that if there was anyone who would know about Moonbyul’s recurring nightmares, it would be Hyejin. There was of course a risk in asking, because this was toeing on the line of overstepping into Moonbyul’s personal matters. But looking back at the entire week’s worth of happenings, Yongsun thought that perhaps the two of them had already toed the line one too many times for this to be an issue any more.

"Hyejin, I have something to ask you actually.” She cringed inwardly at how stilted that came out, but was encouraged by the bartender’s questioning tilt of her head. "She had nightmares. Twice already. And both times they seem-"

"She had a nightmare just now? When you were there?" Hyejin’s glance jumped up to meet her own immediately, the worry that Yongsun thought she had helped to lift from her face settling back into her furrowed brows.

"Yeah, and the last time she was over at mine too. It seemed really bad.” Yongsun felt a pang in her heart at the way she could see the heartbreak manifest on Hyejin’s face, knowing that whatever this was, it was something deeply personal. “Did she have a history of having such bad nightmares before?

“Did unnie ever tell you what happened before she took her current job as your bodyguard?" Hyejin asked after a long silence, choosing her words warily.

"No, she never talked about her previous jobs. And also because I didn't ask." Yongsun shook her head lightly, dropping her eyes onto her hands.

"I'm sorry, unnie. I know you’re curious, but it's not my place to tell you anything. It should come from her. Ask her about it. She will tell you eventually."

Yongsun knows that she should ask Moonbyul too, but she doesn't dare to. She just gave a polite half smile in reply, watching the other girl arrange the different spirits and mixers on the countertop as they conversed. She could feel the mood between them sink by the second, but she was desperate not to let it.

“Are you going to ask her about it?” Yongsun continued, tapping her fingers on her glass. “You two seem to have a really strong friendship.”

At that, a smile finally found itself onto Hyejin’s face, genuine, warm and reaching her eyes.

"Of course, because that idiot won’t tell me anything herself until it’s forced out of her with three bottles of soju.” She sighed, lifting her chin up and leaning back against the counter as she reminisced about their past. “She has taken care of me since we met in high school. I was bullied back then and she stood up for me. She basically punched the hell out of a dozen bullies single-handedly.”

Yongsun listened in awed silence. "Back then, my parents were never in the picture, so I went to school without lunch boxes, or any money to buy from the tuck shops. So she would cook for me and skip class just to sit with me during recess to make sure no one touched me. A lot of people have come and gone in both our lives, but no matter what, we know we will always have each other.”

"You are really precious to her huh?" Yongsun commented softly, the warmth in her gut arching out into her heart.

"Yeah, and I'm really thankful. You know you can be too, right?" Hyejin smiled at her.

"I can be what?"

"You can be precious to Byulyi-unnie too, if you let her. She cares about you too." Yongsun could feel her cheeks heating up, thinking about everything Moonbyul had done for her. It would take a really oblivious person to not feel that care and concern that Moonbyul showed her.

"The both of you are equally cheesy. No wonder you two are best friends." She hid her smile behind her glass as she took another sip of the soda. Hyejin let out a dry laugh at that remark.

"Give her a bit more time and you will come to know that no one will ever beat her in her greasiness. No one will ever come close.” Hyejin replied with a devilish grin. “But in all seriousness, I know what it looks like when Byulyi-unnie cares about someone. And it's clear to me that she cares about you. So just… give it a chance.”

Yongsun wasn’t sure what exactly ‘it’ referred to in this case, but she saw it fit that Hyejin was talking about the friendship. She tried to pinpoint exactly what went wrong, each time their conversations ended in a cold war or malicious words, realising that all it took was one of them to be sharp-tongued to the other for even a second, and everything would fall apart. Maybe we’re more alike in that regard than we think, Moon Byulyi. Then, it occurred to her that maybe Hyejin was talking about effort and courage, to want a more cordial friendship and actually put in the work to make it one.

“But maybe I don’t want that.” She threw out carelessly, before realising how bad that sounded. Hyejin froze with her mouth forming silent words, taken aback. “No, no, I mean-”

She took a large gulp of her drink, upset when it wasn’t the liquid courage she needed then. “I mean, Byul can be really… intense with her concern, right?” Her hands drew shapeless circles in the air, as if to illustrate her point.

“Sometimes I just feel like, she shouldn’t be caring that much about me, like I can never reciprocate that care. It’s dumb but, it’s like she gives so much and I can never give back the same amount you know? I hate it when I make people fuss and worry about me. And Moonbyul just… She got sick because of me. Twice. Doesn't give a fuck about herself. Gave me her coat in sub-zero temperatures. Stayed over that night because she hauled me all the way home. Worst thing is, I can't say no to her.”

When she finally paused to take in a huge lungful of air, she found Hyejin’s comforting hand on hers. “Byulyi-unnie is like that. It’s just who she is, especially to people who are dear to her. Let me guess, you just don’t want her to sacrifice her own well-being just to take care of yours, right?”

Yongsun nodded slowly. Hyejin smirked at her, continuing. “She’s been like that since we were young. The only way I’ve found useful is by literally threatening her. ‘Eat or I won’t’, ‘Sleep or I’ll wait here until you do.’ You know, things like that. I’m used to it.”

Threatening her. That sounded incredibly familiar.

“Hyejinnie!” She heard a voice call out from behind her, the bartender’s eyes shifting from her to someone standing at the entrance. Wheein froze mid-step when Yongsun turned around in her seat. The two younger girls were rooted in their positions, while Yongsun’s judging eyes flickered between the two of them in barely concealed interest.

“Unnie, why are you here too?” She gave a torturously long silence as her answer, letting Wheein settle down on the seat next to her before getting up and patting out the wrinkles in her clothes.

“That’s my cue to go.” She said with a suggestive lilt in her voice, glancing wide eyed at the both of them, her lips pursed in a hidden smile. She did not miss the bartender automatically grabbing Wheein’s favourite drink out of the topmost shelf of the chiller as if it was there waiting for her.

“Was here to update Hyejin-ssi on her best friend, by the way. You?” Wheein slid further into her seat, burying her reddening cheeks in her palms, letting out a small and stammered ‘drinks’. Yongsun smirked at that reaction, gathering her bags in her arms and leaning down to whisper next to her ear. “Have fun with your drinks then, manager-nim.”

That night, Yongsun laid in bed, eyes wide open in the pitch blackness, Hyejin’s words swimming in the space in front of her. What was she afraid of, exactly? Deep down, she knew her answer, and she also knew that she was stubbornly repressing the hell out of that truth.

Moon Byulyi was either just doing the absolute most as her bodyguard, and this was just how seriously she took her job, every job. Or this was something more, and she cared for her not as a client, but as something more. And Yongsun wasn’t sure which option she was more afraid of. Despite the confusion, she knew her heart and what it yearned for, and either way, she wasn’t sure if she was strong enough to face the answer head on.

Regardless, she pulled out her phone, squinting through the brightness of the screen to type out a text.

‘you better be asleep and not replying at this hour. i’m coming over tomorrow, text me when u wake so i know.’

The phone returned to its place on the nightstand. She closed her eyes again, willing her heart to just stop being so loud in the dark night. It took another hour of overbearing thoughtfulness, before she finally fell asleep.


	10. chapter ten

_ ‘Morningggggg. Been awake for a while now. I’m okay, unnie, you don’t have to come over.’  _ The reply came in minutes after Yongsun woke up. She read the message, rolling her eyes when a picture attachment came through after that text. It was a photo of a thermometer with a ‘36.8’ reading, and Moonbyul’s peace sign next to it. 

_ ‘I’m coming over anyways. You were literally non-functioning yesterday.’ _ She sent her reply, dropping her phone on the bathroom counter as she brushed her teeth. It would take her ten minutes to get ready, and another ten to walk to Moonbyul’s apartment. She quickly dropped a text to Hyejin, letting her know that her best friend was going to be taken care of and she didn’t need to worry. 

_ ‘Just let yourself in when you reach, yeah? Keycard’s back in the same place.’  _

Moonbyul’s text chimed in at the same time. Yongsun considered how safe it was exactly if she was going to return that keycard to the same questionably secure place each time. When she reached the flat, she didn’t ring the doorbell, just assuming that the girl was asleep. Sure enough, the keycard was under that same flower pot, and she looked over both shoulders before crouching down and retrieving it.

It was still in the flat, with just a single fan blowing and its owner in a curled up position on the couch, snoring lightly in her sleep. She laid her bags down as silently as she could by the dining table, gingerly plucking out her phone from the inner pocket of her purse when a sharp message tone rang out. 

“Unnie?

Yongsun sighed as Hyejin’s name flashed on her phone screen, turning to see Moonbyul now awake and staring at her with lidded eyes. 

“Sorry I forgot to silence my phone.” She walked over to the couch, plopping down on the space that Moonbyul made for her. “How are you feeling?” 

“Like I said, I’m all better, you didn’t have to come over.” She pouted wilfully when Yongsun plastered a hand onto her forehead anyway. Their faces were all of a sudden bare inches away, Yongsun’s warm breath hitting the tip of Moonbyul’s nose. Part of Moonbyul wanted to back away, feeling her cheeks rapidly warming up at the realisation, but she was rooted in that position, not daring to move until the hand fell away from her forehead. 

“And like I said, I was going to come over anyway because you were half-dead the last time I saw you. And besides-” She paused, punching in her passcode before showing the other girl her phone screen. “Your friend made me promise I won’t let you die.”

“You two are both equally dramatic, I just had a fever, not a traumatic brain injury, I’m not dying yet.” She caught the cushion as it flew at her, sticking her tongue out at Yongsun in vindication. Yongsun just glared at her in mock-offense, taking the other cushion she was leaning against and whacked it against the giggling girl’s arm. The giggles became uncontrollable laughter when Moonbyul struck back, sending Yongsun sliding off the couch and onto the ground. 

Somehow their impromptu pillow fight ended in a charged staredown, both girls on the floor and armed with a cushion each. But Yongsun was too distracted to attack, because the way Moonbyul had her lower lip between her teeth shouldn’t affect her that much, but it was. Her eyes flickered down to the lip bite on their own accord, and she could register the unconscious way her tongue came between her own teeth. 

The air between them was quiet all of a sudden, no obnoxious giggling and playful swipes of their weapons, and they both forgot how to breathe. Moonbyul was the first to break out of that moment, gripping her cushion tighter in her grasp before delivering one last swing at Yongsun. She hopped onto her feet, making sure her back was turned fully before she let the horror of whatever the fuck that moment was show on her face. 

“Uh. Lunch. We should check what we have to cook for lunch.” Yongsun piped up from her place on the floor, arranging the hems of her dress around her into a more decent look before getting up. She followed Moonbyul with her eyes as the younger girl dragged herself to her kitchen and opened her fridge, sticking her head in before sighing loudly at the bare shelves.

“There’s not much food left in my fridge, so we can either order in or go get more stuff to cook. Which one?” 

“Depends, what can we cook, Chef Byulyi?” Yongsun leaned against the frame of the kitchen entrance, inwardly slapping herself at how accidentally flirty her tone was.

“What are you craving? Kimchi fried rice?” Moonbyul was decidedly not making eye contact with her, choosing instead to dig around her shelves looking for exactly nothing, conveniently hiding her face in the shadows until her cheeks stopped heating up the way it already was.

“Sounds good, let’s go then.” She spun around on her heel, before remembering the reason she was there in the first place. “You sure you’re good to go out now? You’re feeling completely fine?”

“Didn’t you also just get discharged from the hospital, Solar-ssi?” Moonbyul retorted, brushing past her on the way out to the living room. “Come on, we’re both miserable, sick people who got to feed ourselves.”

Yongsun didn’t miss the complete one-eighty flip her stomach did when the girl grabbed her wrist smoothly, tugging her along as she got ready to leave the house. They left ten minutes later after Moonbyul emerged from her room changed into a baggy oversized jumper, skinny jeans and a hat fit snugly on her head. It was the first time Yongsun saw her in actual streetwear and not the blazer combination that she wore for the sake of her job. 

“So this is what you wear when you’re not bodyguard Moonbyul?” She asked, as they stepped into the elevator together. 

“Kinda. I still stand by my suits, would wear them on a daily basis if I can find one that’s comfier than this jumper.” It was true, the jumper hung off her lean shoulders in a soft slouch, and if Yongsun would admit it, Moonbyul looked  _ extremely _ huggable in it. “And hey, I’m still your bodyguard, we’re going out in public so, despite my less scary dressing I’m still here to protect you.”

“You know that cartoon Hamtaro?” Yongsun asked as a reply, to which Moonbyul nodded. “Yeah, you’re as scary as that cartoon hamster, Moonbyul.” The guard let out a noise of protest, grabbing the fabric on her chest as if genuinely offended by that statement. 

Yongsun’s laughter trailed off as she ran ahead of Moonbyul onto the sidewalk, only slowing down when Moonbyul chased her down, waving the mask and sunglasses at her in alarm. She put it on sheepishly, only just realising that the sidewalks were lined with people since it was lunch hour after all. The supermarket was right between their two flats, and it took only ten minutes for them to reach there by foot. 

As they were shopping, Moonbyul gave Yongsun the list of things they needed to get, and while Yongsun stuck to it religiously, systematically ducking into the aisles to grab the items off the list, Moonbyul preferred to stop them at unrelated aisles, taking five minute pauses to pick between apple and grape flavoured gummies.

It was cute in ways Yongsun wasn’t expecting Moonbyul to be, soft, childlike at times, but even then, she would always find Moonbyul’s protective arm snaking around her shoulders and moving her out of the way when people got too close. It was natural and comfortable now, the way Moonbyul’s presence loomed behind her with a gentle hold on her waist everytime the crowds settled in around them. This wasn’t official duties, it wasn’t an actress’ bodyguard, it was Moonbyul being Moonbyul and somehow that made her feel incredibly safe and wildly out there at the same time.

She noticed every little detail, like how Moonbyul’s eyes scanned their surroundings out of habit and not letting any eyes wander on her for too long. She felt safe with Moonbyul around, untouchable almost, but the way she could feel her heart and soul physically fall everytime Moonbyul so much as breathed, scared her.

For once, she didn’t try to shake those thoughts away, letting them linger at the front of her mind while bickering with Moonbyul over two brands of kimchi. They settled on the bottle in Moonbyul’s hand, because  _ of course _ she was going to give in to her, with her pouty smile and pleading eyes.  _ Get your fucking shit together, Kim Yongsun. _

The two of them paid for their purchases, managing to leave the crowded supermarket without getting stopped or recognised by a single fan. Moonbyul snatched up all the bags off the cashier counter, holding them out of reach when Yongsun tried to take a few off her hand.

“Your fans will have my head if they find out I let their Princess Solar carry grocery bags.” Moonbyul argued, not hiding at all how much she was enjoying the fact that she could hold things out of Yongsun’s reach even if they weren’t that far apart in height.

“ _ I _ will have your head if you don’t stop that.” The older girl snapped back with a growl in her voice, pleased with herself when Moonbyul obediently handed her two of her four bags. The walk back to the flat was all bickering and mindless conversation, and neither of them paid any attention to the fact that just days ago, they wouldn’t even dare fathom being this comfortably in tandem with each other. 

At home, Moonbyul dropped everything on her dining table, laying out the ingredients she needed neatly, also gleefully tucking away the snacks and treats that she sneaked into the shopping basket earlier. Yongsun stood in the middle of the kitchen awkwardly, not knowing what to do except watch as Moonbyul busied herself with rinsing the pots and pans. 

“Unnie, why don’t you go watch the TV or something, I’ll let you know when it’s time to eat?” Moonbyul caught the hovering girl’s unsure stance, and even though it was endearing, she would much rather not have her guest feeling this out of place in her house.

“Can’t I help with anything?” Yongsun looked around the kitchen for something, anything, that she could possibly help with without accidentally setting off fire alarms. She regarded Moonbyul’s hesitant look at her, deciding that she would spare them both from herself. “Alright I will just sit here and watch you cook.”

The fragrant smell of the fried rice slowly filled the air as Moonbyul put together the dish, occasionally glancing over to see Yongsun’s head perched on her hands, legs swinging below the bar counter where she was seated at. She looked as if she was truly studying the way Moonbyul cooked, mouthing the name of each ingredient as it made its way into the wok. 

Finally, lunch was ready. Moonbyul plated her food, pushing a filled plate across the bar table to Yongsun and signalling at her to try it. Yongsun obliged happily, knowing before she even tasted it that it was going to be amazing.

“I’m not even kidding when I say I kinda want you to cook for me everyday.” Yongsun groaned with her mouth full of rice. The red on Moonbyul’s cheeks became an even brighter shade, as she ducked her head down and shoved a spoonful of food into her mouth at that remark. 

Yongsun grinned at her reaction, and even more when she realised that Moonbyul was finally eating well after spending the whole of yesterday forcing herself to eat. She looked into the wok still sitting on the stove, in it enough left over for two more servings. 

“Why did you cook so much? We won’t be able to finish it.” 

“Half of it is for Hyejin’s dinner. It’s been some time since I cooked for her and I hate that she’s always eating that chicken from the store next to her pub. It’s unhealthy as hell.” Moonbyul replied, pointing to the containers on the kitchen counter. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

Yongsun tore her eyes away immediately, but was nonetheless soft in her voice when she replied. “It’s sweet, the way you and her are. She told me how you two met, you know, I think that it’s kinda amazing.” 

“Yeah, Hyejin will always be my baby sister, no matter what. But sometimes I’m a failure of an older sister, and she takes care of me more than I take care of her.” 

Yongsun wasn’t sure she wanted to start the whole conversation with Moonbyul on that topic again, but she found it in herself to say it regardless. “It’s not the end of the world to let yourself be taken care of sometimes, Byul-ah.”

The girl replied with a small half-smile, obviously unconvinced, but the words made it to her heart. Yongsun suddenly realised the two containers she was pointed to earlier.

“Is Hyejin going to finish that much fried rice on her own?” 

“Well she could, but no.” Moonbyul answered, sliding off the tall stool to scoop the rice into both the containers. “This,” she started, closing the lid onto one of them, before filling the other. “This is for my best friend. This? Is for yours.”

“Wheein? Why are you cooking for Wheein?” 

“Because it will be rude to offer food to Hyejin only when Wheein is right there too.” Moonbyul stated matter-of-factly, hiding her smirk behind her pursed lips. 

“Moon Byulyi, what do you know about the two of them. Spill.” Yongsun got up from her seat too, rounding the table to Moonbyul’s side immediately.

“All I know is that three times I’ve called Hyejin since the day they’ve met and all three times I either hear about Wheein, or actually hear Wheein. So. Educated guess tells me that Wheein will be there when I deliver this to the pub.”

So clearly the two were less stealthy than they clearly thought they were being. Yongsun shared her side of the story as well, about how Wheein acted exactly like how she did back when she had a crush on some senior from their school. She told Moonbyul about bumping into Wheein at the pub, watching as her face lit up as the evidence in favour of her assumptions on Wheein and Hyejin stacked up.

They both made jokes at their best friends’ expense, over the sound of the running tap as they washed the dishes side by side. Yongsun left Moonbyul to finish up with drying the plates, doing what was asked of her to find something on TV worth watching. As she finally found something decently not too boring, Moonbyul returned and plopped down next to her on the sofa, handing her an ice cream cone while eating away at her own.

Laughter filled the air as they watched the Running Man reruns together, and soon “getting comfortable” meant that Yongsun’s feet rested on the coffee table in front of the couch, and Moonbyul’s was lying across Yongsun’s lap. The atmosphere settled into a calm when the credits rolled, the volume turned down to just background noise when they decided to let there be conversation instead. 

“I’m just thinking, Byul-ah.” Yongsun turned her head to find the brunette girl already looking quizzically at her. “We got off to a bad start but I’m glad we sorted shit out. I know I said this before but, I’m sorry for being such a bitch to you before.”

“Where is this coming from? I told you, I get it. You’re an introvert, tired of people invading your privacy, and here I came in trying to be best friends with you from day one and teaming up with your manager to not let you off regarding your personal protection. So yeah, I get it.” There was so much sincerity and earnestness in Moonbyul’s soft voice that Yongsun really just felt like crying.

“But still. You were doing your job. Trying to make things between us civil. Trying to keep me safe. I was the one being a brat about it just because I was slightly uncomfortable. I’m sorry.” 

Moonbyul knew there was no way Yongsun was going to let it go if she didn’t accept the apology or let her apologise in the first place, so she did just that. She nodded slightly, sending her a reassuring smile until the same smile was reflected back on the other girl’s face.

Yongsun stared at that smile until she couldn’t, tearing her eyes away to the quietly playing TV screen.

“Why were you so nice to me even though I acted like that?” She asked without looking back at her. There was silence for a while, but the silence was almost enough of an answer. She pushed even more, afraid of the answer she would hear but knowing she would regret if she didn't find out. “You did so much for me, who am I to you exactly, Byul?”

“A client.” The answer was short and sharp like a dagger would be. “But also, more than that I think.”

The words came out slowly, like she was doing everything she could to hold it back and not let them all fall out at once. “I mean, your company’s letter of contract wasn’t the first time I heard of your name, unnie.”

“You were… a fan?” Yongsun asked in a small voice, embarrassed but determined to push through with the conversation. She saw Moonbyul cock her head from the corners of her vision.

“I love your acting. My coursemates at the academy would laugh at me about this but of course I watched 9pm dramas. Of course I’ve seen you in them. But I’ve also seen you in person before.”

Yongsun finally turned to look back at Moonbyul at that. “We’ve met before?” 

“Does New Horizon Club ring a bell to you?” Moonbyul’s heart warmed at the way Yongsun gave that question genuine thought, her eyebrows knitting together in concentration as she tried to recall. “It’s the club Hyejin bar-tended at before becoming the boss of her own bar. I was… redacted politician’s temporary bodyguard then, and they happened to choose that place for drinks that night. And then at midnight, this group of people sat down at the booth next to us and were so loud that my client told me to go make them lower their volumes.”

The picture formed in Yongsun’s mind, and finally, it clicked for her, the memories of that night a few years ago came streaming back into her mind.

_ Glasses clinked against each other as the crew cheered out. The soju in their glasses flew out at the contact, but they were too happy and honestly, too drunk to care. This was their second round of alcohol, the first being at the barbecue place next to the club until the group got chased out for making a baby cry with their noise.  _

_ They were celebrating Yongsun’s first award as an actress, the first critical acclaim she had to her name. Yet, she was feeling like she had to drown her thoughts in the alcohol, when she caught the rumours spreading of her sleeping with the directors to secure that award. She wanted so badly not to let that take away what was years of hard work in the making, but it affected her nonetheless, especially when she noticed some staffers she regarded as friends turned their nose up at her.  _

_ She downed shots after shots, barely registering it when a smartly dressed woman rounded their table, telling them in a calm but authoritative voice to be mindful of their volume. She moved aside, the alcohol taking over completely, when she stood up abruptly to give that woman a speech about the freedom of noise pollution, and something about public space and human rights. Eventually it was Wheein who dragged back onto her seat again, and the other staff of hers who apologised profusely to that woman on her behalf. _

_ It took less than another half a glass of her drink for her to harness enough liquid courage to step in the middle of a crowded dance floor as a B-list celebrity, letting her inhibitions go and dancing amongst the strangers around her. Everyone there was equally as drunk anyway, moving to the music of the club in various levels of sobriety.  _

_ It wasn’t until she felt a rough hand against the small of her back did she get alarmed, turning around to slap that stranger’s hand away. It was a guy not more than a few years older than her, but even in her inebriated state she could decide for her own that she was sorely uninterested. The guy, however, had a certain look in his eyes that had her backing away, until her shoulders bumped into another. She turned on instinct, the apology dying on her tongue when she saw that it was the woman from before. _

_ She was glaring at the man, the fierceness in her eyes sending enough of a message for him to relent and try his luck somewhere else. The jacket that she had on earlier was now slung on her arm, her hair slightly tousled and messy while it sat on her shoulders, atop a blue dress shirt that was unbuttoned at the top.  _

_ Fuck it, right? Yongsun was too drunk to make a better choice, and the way that tie was loosely hanging off the girl’s neck was making all rational thought fly out of her already blurry headspace. She tugged on it experimentally, rolling the soft silk of it between her fingers and looking up past her lashes as the girl’s breath got caught in her throat. She pressed herself closer, the vanilla notes in the girl’s fragrance becoming more distinct amidst the mixture of smells in the crowd.  _

_ When the girl didn’t pull away, she used her reign on that tie to lead them both along to the music, keeping their gazes tightly locked and the space between barely a breath apart. They danced together for three whole songs, until someone called for the girl and she blinked away her trance, straightening out her undone shirt and pulling her tie out of Yongsun’s hand. She left as quickly as she arrived, leaving Yongsun alone in the middle of the crowd again. _

“You.” Yongsun squeaked out simply. Moonbyul watched the emotions change on Yongsun’s face as the events of that night were no doubt playing out itself in her mind. “Yes, me.”

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier? That we’ve met?” Yongsun didn’t know what to do with herself with all those memories coming back to her. She wished she had half the boldness that drunk Yongsun seemed to have back then. 

“How was I supposed to tell you? ‘Hey you and I danced whilst very drunk one night.’ Like that?” Moonbyul replied exasperatedly. “Besides. You and I have a professional relationship now. This just wasn’t necessary. And I figured that you forgot, seeing how wasted you were then. Remember your speech?”

She deserved the whack on her arm for bringing that speech up again. 

“Get that smirk off your face.” Yongsun ordered, and to her credit, Moonbyul tried to hide it behind her hand. “Still, you didn’t really answer my question, Byul. Was that it? Because we met once in that club?”

_ Who am I to you? _

It was then that Moonbyul kicked her legs off Yongsun’s lap, sitting up straight again and leaning her weight on the two hands propped up on either sides of her knees. Her lungs begged for air, as she contemplated her options silently before muttering a short  _ fuck it _ under her breath resolutely.

“That was it for a while. I admired you as an actress, was a fan, yes. Then I met you at the club and that happened. It was a fever dream, I guess.” She let out a heavy sigh, stealing a glance to the side to see Yongsun looking pensively back at her.

“I kept telling myself that it was nothing but a stupid crush, that literally every other fan out there feels the same way. Enamoured, but nothing more. But then by some luck my boss told me I’m assigned to you, and here we are I guess. Every day I keep telling myself that what I’m feeling is just… that same stupid crushy feelings I should have thrown out of the door when I became your bodyguard.” Yongsun’s breath stilled, her eyes trained on every minute change of expression in Moonbyul’s face.

“But I can’t lie to myself. Because I’ve gotten to know Kim Yongsun, the real you, not the Solar everyone else sees. So these feelings, maybe they are real after all.” Moonbyul ended her sentence hesitantly, looking down at her fidgeting fingers. It took a bated breath for her to be brave enough to peek up at the other girl still silent beside her. 

Yongsun knew her thoughts were louder than her silence at this point, the gears turning in her head, processing Moonbyul’s words was deafeningly loud to her own ears. She couldn’t move if she tried, repeatedly tossing the girl’s words over and over on her tongue. 

“I’m gonna give you some time, I get it if you’re uncomfortable and want to change a bodyguard or something, I will help to do all the explaining to my bosses if you need-” Moonbyul stood up abruptly, her hands flying up to gesticulate wildly as a habit she had whenever she was nervous. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have just sprung everything on you.”

Yongsun stood up quickly too, her face still an unreadable mess of emotions. She wanted to reach out, to soothe the anxiety from Moonbyul’s hands, wanted to tell her that everything is alright, but was it? This was somehow the exact answer she wanted to hear when she asked that question, and also simultaneously what she was the most afraid to hear.

Her breaths were still coming up short, as she dared to look back in Moonbyul’s expectant but fearful eyes. She found herself nodding, unsure herself what for, but just let it happen.

“Yeah, I need time.” Moonbyul’s face fell even more at that, her hands falling limply to her sides before she caught herself and laced her own fingers together to fight the urge to fidget or reach for Yongsun. “But please just… this isn’t no.”

Yongsun said it with the most courage she felt she had in years. She wouldn’t put that out there lightly if she didn’t mean her words, because she didn’t want to give Moonbyul false hope if she wasn’t at least thinking about it. She picked up her purse that was still leaning against the couch, arranging her skirt and hair. She tipped her head towards the door, and Moonbyul understood immediately, stepping aside to let her go. 

“Wait! I’ll walk you back.” Moonbyul called out as she ran after her and stepped into the lift next to her. Yongsun sighed purposefully audibly, knowing that even though saying no to her was futile, she was at least going to let her know of her disapproval. 

The walk back to Yongsun’s house was painfully quiet, nothing like what that trip to the supermarket had been. Moonbyul couldn’t help but wonder if she ruined something that was just starting to work out for them. They had just moved past that phase of terse conversations, falling into something much more comfortable, and now it's back to square one again.

She saw Yongsun to her flat as usual, watching as she disappeared behind her wooden door before turning to go. It was almost dinnertime, and Moonbyul knew her mind was too much of a mess for her to be alone, so she jogged home as quickly as she could, grabbing the two tupperwares still sitting atop her kitchen table before heading out again.

Hyejin’s bar was surprisingly empty for that time of day, its owner busy talking to a table of customers near the counter. Moonbyul let herself into the room behind the heavy velvet curtains, finding the microwave tucked at the corner and popped one of the tupperwares in it. Hyejin stuck her head through the curtains just as the microwave’s countdown ended in a long beep. Moonbyul stuck up her hand, stopping her before she said anything.

“I need a drink.” She stated simply, taking out the now piping hot container of food and grabbing the utensils along the way before shoving Hyejin back out to the bar counter. 

The younger girl gratefully accepted the dinner, but looked torn between actually digging in and getting out the long list of questions she had for her friend.

“I’m not talking until you finish eating, Hyejinnie.” Moonbyul said, chuckling to herself when Hyejin pouted in reply but started eating anyway, and she didn’t need to say anything to convey how good that food was. She didn’t need to ask either, to know that Moonbyul cooked it, because after so many years of being spoilt with her cooking, she could tell what was cooked by Moonbyul and what wasn’t, and even more so if Moonbyul cooked the food whilst in a bad mood. 

This kimchi fried rice was good, not overly seasoned like she would find it when Moonbyul was pissed at her boss or upset at her work, so why was her best friend looking like a kicked puppy while slowly sipping on her beer?

“Okay I’m done, now talk. Why aren’t you at home resting? And where is Yongsun-unnie?” Hyejin knew she struck a nerve when the girl forgot about her straw and instead picked up the mug of beer to chug it the rest of it in one breath. She listened as Moonbyul told her everything, from the day they spent yesterday up till the point she watched Yongsun give her a sad look before closing the door on her. 

Hyejin was afraid of exactly this. Egging Yongsun on to let Moonbyul in, only to watch her take her advice but see her best friend get hurt instead. She drummed her long nails against the glass countertop, piecing together the words in her head before saying it.

“It’s not a no, right? You said that unnie wanted time, that she didn’t just say no?” 

“I don’t want to get my hopes up, Hyejin. I’m not even expecting her to like me back or anything at this point, I just want us to be okay. We were doing so great until I fucked it all up with that.”

“You didn’t fuck up. You just said what you were feeling. Wouldn’t you regret it even more if you didn’t tell her?” 

Moonbyul went quiet.  _ Yeah, I would. _ There wasn’t a doubt in her mind now that her feelings for Yongsun were real, and she didn’t know how she would have carried on acting like they weren’t there. Sure, it ended off not the way she wanted it to, but she wouldn’t have kept it from her any longer. It was bound to come out eventually, and she hated that it had to be when they just had that wonderful two days together.

“I’m gonna wait for her answer. And try not to die overthinking it till then.” The determination burned in her eyes. Hyejin wagged a finger at her when she asked for a refill, instead pulling out the sparkling grape juice onto the table. 

“Ya, you do that, and my job is to make sure you don’t die of drinking-while-still-recovering-from-an-illness.” She remarked nonchalantly, leaving Moonbyul to drink her fizzy purple drink sulkily like a reprimanded child. She jumped back into work for the next hour, turning her attention to the newcomers at the other end of the bar counter and to the customers asking for another serving of snacks. 

She was halfway through the same velvet curtains of her backroom when she heard Moonbyul call out from the counter.

“That other tupperware next to the microwave is for Wheein. Love you, Hyejin!” It was all she heard before she whipped her head around, catching her best friend stuffing a few dollar notes across the glass table and into the drawer, before making a run for it out of the bar. She stood there with her mouth agape, her hand reflexively coming up to slap her unnie’s shoulders, but it fell back down to her side instead. She laughed to herself in disbelief when the tupperware was indeed where Moonbyul said it was, filled with the same kimchi fried rice she had earlier. 

As much as she hated Moonbyul for teasing her so relentlessly about it, she had to admit to herself that it wasn’t for nothing, because Wheein showed up exactly an hour later, all smiles and carefreeness, and Hyejin felt all the tension seep out of her body. 


	11. chapter eleven

Moonbyul counted the days as they went, each day off spent the exact same way as the previous days before. Wake up, work out, cook for two, deliver the lunch to Hyejin, come back, nap, rinse, and repeat. Ten days inched past slower than she’d hoped it would. She had checked her phone every morning, the disappointment sitting heavily in her chest when the last message of the conversation was still hers.

_ ‘Let me know if you’re heading out and need me to be there.’ _

It was nothing but professional, an offer for the client to request for her security detail’s service. But she had hoped that it was more than that, a proffered olive branch, a small plea for them to speak, at least. The message went unanswered, but she took a bit of comfort in the blue ticks at least.

On the eleventh day, her phone rings with the tone she had set for official business. The CEO had asked them to gather back in the company, to prepare for Yongsun’s first appearance ever since that impromptu hiatus. Dread filled her immediately. This was bound to happen sooner or later, where they would have to spring back into work again, but she had planned for them to at least be  _ okay _ with each other. 

She got ready quickly, texting Hyejin to settle her own lunch for the day, before hopping into the shower with the mantra to  _ give her space _ turning in circles and circles in her mind. Jungsu was waiting for her in the company car when she made it downstairs, and the atmosphere in the car immediately became intense and stilted when Yongsun hopped on a few minutes later. 

Moonbyul really did try to avoid looking in the rearview mirror to catch a glimpse of Yongsun, but she couldn’t hold herself back, stealing a glance every few minutes only to see the deadpan look in Yongsun’s eyes as she stared straight ahead at the road in front of them. 

When they reached the company, the staff fussed over Yongsun, happy to see her well-rested and already fully recovered from whatever kept her on that hiatus. The CEO had only told the relevant staff members about the hospitalisation, so for the rest of them, they could only guess what happened. Moonbyul watched with fondness, but also tinged with a bit of envy as the staff members dropped the work on hand to welcome the actress back, telling her about the restock of her favourite cereal in the pantry, until the CEO emerged from his office and his secretary convened the meeting in the adjacent room. 

The people that needed to be involved filed in accordingly, and they all took their seats at the long table. Moonbyul sat directly across from Yongsun, who seeked out Wheein immediately when she arrived. The manager looked paler than she usually was, small hints of a frown creased into her forehead as she looked up at her best friend to offer her a tight-lipped smile. Wheein caught Moonbyul’s flitting eyes from across the table, sending her a sympathetic nod before turning her attention to the CEO who was starting his briefing on Yongsun’s talk show appearance.

The talk show was one that Moonbyul was familiar with. Anyone who was anyone had been invited on it, and just sitting in that red chair shaking hands with the host was a milestone in any Korean celebrity’s career. The segment was going to be pre-recorded a day before the actual showing, and promotional efforts for Yongsun’s appearance would start right after the meeting. The PR team was to run Yongsun through her media training again, her stylists to prepare their best looks, and every other staffer being given their roles and duties. 

This was clearly a big deal for Yongsun, and when Moonbyul turned to regard her, she could see it in her eyes. The spark of excitement and anticipation for the honour of being invited to the show, but also the nervous picking of her fingers against the skin of her knuckles that Moonbyul came to learn was the only show of nerves that Yongsun would allow herself.

The meeting came to an end, and everyone was buzzing with excitement as they left. Moonbyul got up to leave just as Yongsun and Wheein did, listening to the manager instruct the stylists to take Yongsun to the dressing room for her fitting. 

“Wheein, Moonbyul, stay behind for a while.” The CEO put his laptop back down on the table, gesturing for his secretary to leave them. The secretary listened, ushering the actress to the other room on the way out. 

“Is anything the matter, CEO-nim?” Moonbyul shifted her attention between Wheein and the CEO, both of whom had the same thread of anxiety on their faces. The man crossed his arms, taking in a deep inhale before replying to her.

“In the few days that you were both away, we’ve received a few letters here at the company, no return address written.” He pulled out the envelope tucked between his closed laptop, and from it fell some photos of what Moonbyul recognised as the street near Yongsun’s apartment. “Just these pictures, with no message, nothing.”

“Also, our social media manager said that she’s been receiving mass emails from fans telling us about strange comments under unnie’s SNS posts.” Wheein added, tapping around on her tablet for the screenshots.

_ ‘DM for solar’s address, 100% real’ _

“At first we didn’t think anything of it, but we DM-ed this person like they said, and they sent photos of the same street. They are different pictures, the angle isn’t the same and one of the pictures was taken at night, but they all showed the street that Yongsun’s apartment is on.”

“Is that it? Just the street?” Moonbyul cut in, her teeth close to drawing blood on her lip. “Does this person know the exact address? Or even building?”

Wheein went back to her tablet, scrolling again until she pulled up the conversation.

_ ‘That’s too easy. If you want it, you have to work for it yourself. I’ve given you the street, it's up to you to find the building and the unit.’ _

“Our guess is that this person doesn’t actually know Yongsun’s address, and just wants to attract attention. They probably got the street correct because they saw her hanging around one of these shops on the street. But just to be safe, Moonbyul, please make sure you see her to her door at the end of every work day. And just for the time being, Wheein, try to coax her into going out less, at least not alone.” 

Moonbyul unclenched the fist she didn’t know she was pressing into the table, and nodded at the CEO’s words. The hospital visit, and now this. She doesn’t want to assume that it was the same culprit behind both of the incidents, but she had a hunch that they were connected somehow.

“I don’t think it is this person giving out the photos that we should be worried about, not exactly, but who they’ve given the photos to, and what these people may do with the information. The street isn’t exactly busy, and if I’m not mistaken, Yongsun visits some of these shops regularly. It isn’t hard to track her down from there.” She paused to swallow down that mix of trepidation and anger in her throat, steeling herself to be the collected person she had to be to deal with these situations.

“I’ll keep her safe. You can be sure of that.” There was something in Moonbyul’s tone that Wheein didn’t know she was okay with, not with everything that Yongsun confided in her over the week. The CEO left them after a reassuring pat on their shoulders, leaving the envelope behind when Moonbyul requested it for investigation purposes.

Wheein lightly shoved Moonbyul down by the shoulders to take a seat in the chair, herself rolling another chair around to face the guard. 

“Three things. One, I just need to tell you both that y'all are idiots. Both of you. You and Yong-unnie. Please go talk to her about… whatever is going on between you two. She needs to be pushed gently, so do that. Secondly, we aren’t planning to tell her about the photos, or the comments. She gets anxious easily, so the lesser she knows, the easier it will be for all of us to take care of this. Thirdly, I know what you were thinking, and I was thinking it too. CEO-nim dismissed the idea, but I just think he’s afraid that it could be true.” Wheein let it all out in a dizzying breath of words, counting off her pointers on three fingers. When she was done, she looked back up at Moonbyul’s stricken face.

“Number one, I want to talk to her, but I promised to give her time, and I’m intending to keep that promise.” The younger girl interrupted her with a loud sigh, but gestured for her to continue. “About keeping it from Yong, I agree, but you’ve got to realise that she won’t be happy about it if she finds out. She’s not dense, she’ll know if we’re keeping extra tabs on her.”

“We don’t have a choice, it's just a risk we’ll have to take, unnie. I rather her not stress about this on top of everything else she’s probably spending sleep hours stressing about.” Moonbyul gave her a short resigned nod.

“Last point. You’re also thinking about the incident after that brand event, right? I’ve been looking into that one, so far I’ve found nothing, but I’ll keep it up, together with this.” She picked up the yellow envelope on the table, waving it in front of her. “Let’s hope that these aren’t connected, because it’s one thing to spread some photos for attention, and another to attempt poisoning her.”

Moonbyul could tell that Wheein was holding back tears, since the start of the meeting when she first saw her, Wheein was already looking unlike her usual self, more sunken in. Now that she knew the matters that had been placed on her shoulders, she understood her. She reached out for a hug, pulling the smaller girl into her arms. She realised, as she was rubbing her back in comforting circles, that this was the second time that they were in this position. Wheein beside herself with fear for her best friend’s safety, and Moonbyul trying so hard to be the steady source of comfort and assurance, but it was hard.

She was sure she didn’t vocalise any of those thoughts, but it seemed like Wheein heard her loud and clear anyway.

“I know you care about Yongsun-unnie, I’m not sure who she is to you yet, and I’m sure you’re both figuring it out. But the whole point of not telling her about this is to not let her worry, okay? So no playing hero, no making her fret over you. Do you understand, Moonbyul-ssi?” Wheein pulled away from the hug first, holding the guard by her arms and by the admonishing look in her eyes.

Moonbyul nodded obediently, whispering her own reassuring words to Wheein when she went for another hug. They made their way out of the meeting room after that, sitting in the room that Yongsun was in until she had finished everything she had needed to do for the day. Before they were ready to go, Moonbyul gave herself a head start, running to the carpark to find Jungsu and briefing him about the threats. She didn’t go into detail or reveal too much, but enough to keep him alert for anything suspicious. She requested for them to use different company cars from time to time, and change up the route they took to go home as well.

Wheein’s text came in in the middle of Moonbyul’s list of instructions, so they decided to hop in the car and talk while they drove. Yongsun and Wheein were waiting at the private drop-off point, and as soon as Wheein got in the car, she told Jungsu to alight her last.

“Just say you’re going to see Hyejin, Wheein-ah. We aren’t stupid.” 

“Fine. I’m going to see Hyejin. Happy?” Yongsun gave her best friend a smirk, glancing in the mirror to see Moonbyul hiding a soft smile too. Her heart ached a little at the sight. Usually Moonbyul would have been making her own witty remarks, teasing Wheein to no end, but at that moment it seemed like she was just interested in taking up as little space with her presence as possible. Yongsun had to look away, letting her head rest against the cool windows as Jungsu drove them along at a leisurely speed.

The walk up from the drop-off to her apartment was a quiet and tense one, neither Moonbyul or Yongsun saying a word to each other. Time seemed to mockingly slow down as the elevator crept from the first to thirteenth floor. At Yongsun’s door, both of them hovered about each other, words on the tips of both their tongues but nothing coming out between them.

The actress lets out a silent sigh when a few more seconds of nothingness trickled by, and turned to close her door behind her.

“Yong.” Moonbyul stuck her palm on the door, stopping it from closing. “We’re going to talk soon, aren’t we?” 

Yongsun contemplated it, shaking off the way Moonbyul’s timid, unsure voice made her resolve crackle. “Yes, we are. But like I said, I… I need time, okay?” With that, she gave one last look at the other girl as a plea for mercy, and Moonbyul dropped her hand away, giving her just that.

The rest of her evening was spent at Hyejin’s bar with Wheein, after relieving Jungsu of his duties for the day and hiking up firstly to the gopchang restaurant up the street before returning to the bar with three dinners in hand. The three of them would soon find themselves talking about everything and anything, Wheein joining the duo being nothing but a welcome addition to their dynamic.

Moonbyul observed Hyejin and Wheein. It was so easy, the flow of their conversations going from one to the other like breathing, Wheein laughing at all of Hyejin’s jokes and Hyejin looking at Wheein with so much fondness in her soft gaze. It hadn’t been that long since the two of them met, and yet this ease came to them so naturally. Moonbyul wanted so much to be happy for them, and she was, seeing Hyejin with so much light in her eyes made her happy too. But there was a nagging tug of an ugly emotion, and she couldn’t help but be envious of what Wheein and Hyejin had. 

She wished it was as easy between Yongsun and her. That they could just be around each other without feeling physically suffocated, without the senseless worries that held the both of them back and away. She wished she was a little more like Hyejin, who would silently brood over absolutely everything, but when it came to love, she was strong and brave and everything Moonbyul hoped she would be a little more of. 

They were a work in progress, and Moonbyul hoped that it all worked itself out in the end.

The hype for Yongsun’s appearance on the talk show only grew in the next four days to come, as the company and broadcasting studio alike publicised the episode on every platform possible. Speculations grew as to why Kim Yongsun had to take an urgent break, and theories began sprouting up on Twitter. People were tagging the talk show hosts in tweets, requesting that it was added to the list of interview questions that he would ask her in his segment. 

Yongsun got out of bed slightly earlier than she had to on the day of the pre-recording. She had been following the online discussions as they happened, curious about the theories and if anyone actually guessed the reason correctly. So far, there were pregnancy rumours, rumours of being dropped by the company, death of a pet, dating scandals, and one with a detailed scenario of her being chased down by debt collectors. It was amusing to say the least. 

She looked through the file her PR manager gave her again, practicing over and over the answer she would have to give when the host eventually asked her the question. She was an actress, and this was what she was meant to do, to read a script and act it out, and she was good at it. She practiced the contrite smiles she had to give to show her regret at missing the events that she cancelled on during her absence. She practiced giving polite, tight lipped smiles when the host would undoubtedly probe further, despite the firm reminders written by her CEO himself to not ask any questions regarding her hiatus besides the ones in the list. 

She tried to practice her calm facade, for when she had to see Moon Byulyi later, but she knew it was a waste of time. No amount of practice would make her strong enough to hold that girl’s intense regard for more than a second. There were promises of talks and  _ working it out _ that she intended to keep, but it was all so much to take in, to process. 

She steadied herself to face the day, folding her legs under her and shutting her eyes, having less than fifteen minutes left to clear her mind before she had to get ready to leave.

Apparently Moonbyul arranged for her own transport to the filming studio, something about wanting to check the place out first. So Jungsu picked only Yongsun and Wheein up, and headed to the studio directly. Moonbyul was waiting for them at the drop-off, jogging over to open their doors for them as Jungsu pulled the car to the stop. There were tabloid photographers and fansites of the various guest celebrities scattered around the compound where the entrance was. 

Moonbyul held the both of them close as they made their way into the safety of the studio. Surprisingly, they could only hear the shutters of the cameras go off, see the flashes of the phones, some screams of her name, but there weren't the crowds behind the barricades as they had expected there to be. They were thankful for the relatively smooth walk in, but nonetheless moved quickly to not take any chances.

Yongsun’s team of stylists and managers were already waiting for them in the holding rooms, greeting the trio as they arrived. They jumped into work quickly, getting Yongsun television-ready in an hour or so. Yongsun had to do a few pre-show interviews, so the crew zipped out of the way when the cameras barged into the room, with an overenthusiastic host asking her about her preparations and outfits. 

Wheein dragged Moonbyul to the couch behind a short partition in the room, flopping down onto it. She seemed to have a knack for finding the couches in every waiting, holding and dressing room. Moonbyul chucked at the way she was lying across four cushions, and shoved her aside so she could sit too. 

She could see Yongsun from where she was, peeking through the glass portions of the partition wall. No matter what, she wasn’t letting Yongsun out of her sight. She had spent the last few days poring over the materials she had about the threats, adding it into the file with Yongsun’s medical report. She used her bodyguard academy’s resources in an attempt to track down the IP addresses of the various accounts responsible for the photos, tried to look through all the shots taken on the red carpet on that fateful day, but could not find any returns on the IP nor made any progress with the pictures. 

All she knew was that someone out there was harbouring ill intentions on Yongsun, and she would do anything to make sure she could get to this person before they got to Yongsun.

She watched on as the pre-interviews ended, and the styling team returned to their orbit around Yongsun, touching up some fallen hairs and smudged eyeshadows. The room fell into a relative calm after that, as they ate their lunch and waited around until it was time for Yongsun to step onto the set.

When it was her cue to go, Yongsun was ushered out by the studio’s crew, all of whom Moonbyul recognised from earlier. In the thirty minutes that she was early, she had familiarised herself with every crew member responsible for Yongsun that day, and knew the exact path they would take her from holding room to filming set. The monitors in the holding room had every camera’s direct feed streaming on the screens, so they could comfortably sit back in the room while watching out for Yongsun. 

Yongsun gave the studio audience and camera a gleaming smile, taking her seat in the chair next to the host’s table. The interview started off with the question that she practiced over and over, that she was able to interject thoughtful pauses and little  _ um’s  _ and  _ ah’s  _ that made her script sound that much more natural. She steered the conversation away from the hiatus expertly, drawing the audience and host’s attention to her upcoming projects and other appearances.

The segment ended after a short game, some quickfire round of sorts. Yongsun found her shoulders sagging the moment she was out of the camera’s eye, the tension in her posture that she didn’t know she was holding in finally let go of. There was acting for a drama script, but then there was acting as Solar, the clean, polished version of herself that was literally emotional labour for her to keep up.

She wanted nothing more than to get out of the place at this point, and let herself celebrate the fact that she had just joined the shining list of Korean celebrities that got to sit in that chair. Everyone was waiting for her around the door when she got back to the holding room, erupting in exhilarated cheers as they hugged her and congratulated her.

One person stood by the side of the group, hands in her blazer pockets and looking like she was desperately holding herself back from jumping into Yongsun’s arms. Yongsun caught her wistful eyes, giving the stylist hugging her a pat on the back before pulling away, taking a few steps to close the distance to Moonbyul.

“Congratulations, unnie.” Moonbyul stumbled on the two words, not expecting Yongsun to actually approach her. Her hands were still stuffed in her pockets, fidgeting with the lint in there for lack of a better thing to grip onto.

“Thank you. You wanna grab dinner?” Yongsun surprised herself with how she was able to maintain eye contact with Moonbyul’s dark brown orbs, although the hopefulness in those eyes were crushing to look at.

“Yeah, of course. Tonight, after this? What do you want to eat?” Moonbyul replied, slightly distracted by the sight of Wheein dragging someone back by his collar when he was about to interrupt the two of them. 

“You decide, let me know.” Yongsun said simply, before spinning around on her heels to head to the changing room. She just ended an interview that was going to broadcast on national television, yet that short minute long conversation made her want to throw up from nerves more. 

Moonbyul watched unblinkingly as she disappeared into the changing rooms, Wheein popping up in her view instead. She was grinning from ear to ear, not even bothering to hide her look of insinuation.

“So I’m just gonna tell Hyejin not to expect you at the bar tonight right?” 

“I don’t know if she actually wants to talk about… that.” Moonbyul tugged her hands out of her pockets, feeling the younger girl’s stare on her back as she turned away to pack their bags.

“Yes, because she’s going to discuss climate change with you over dinner.” Wheein scoffed, giving her a hand with the packing.

“Whatever it is I’m just going to try not to lose my shit before we actually reach the restaurant and eat our dinners. So please don’t do anything funny.” She groaned, looking up at Wheein with a plea on her pout.

“I won’t, I won’t. I want you two to settle this too. Y’all have been miserable.” Wheein picked up the few bags left on the couch, giving Moonbyul a firm pat on the head before running away to where Yongsun was calling for her.

When they were all ready to leave, a studio crew member led them to the exit, the same way they went when they first arrived. Moonbyul could hear it before she saw it, the roaring clamour of people probably lining the hallways that they had to walk through. There were a few other guests and their teams standing by the exit as well, a few that Yongsun recognised as idol groups that performed during the show. They braved the crowds as a group, each pair of idols having one guard standing by them. 

Moonbyul took a peek behind the heavy doors and blackout curtains, seeing nothing but a sea of people with no visible path out. The only barricade the studio set up was a flimsy retractable belt barrier that anyone could have pushed past if they tried. The idol group that just left were just squeezing through as the team made a valiant effort to clear a path for them. She tried to spot any other security guards from the studio in the crowd, but could not see any.  _ Where the fuck are they and how did they let this happen? _

She turned back to see Yongsun and Wheein looking expectantly at her, and Yongsun’s makeup artist who didn’t make it in time to leave with her group, and thus having to tag along with the three of them instead. 

“Jungsu-ssi is waiting for us right at the exit, all we have to do is cross this hall and we’re there. There’s a lot of people out there, so just hold onto each other, and focus on moving forward. Follow my lead.” Moonbyul instructed authoritatively, rolling back her sleeves and getting her hair out of the way. She gathered Yongsun and Wheein around her, making sure the makeup artist wasn’t too far behind, before taking a deep breath and opening the door.

It was nightmarish, how the crowds started to all move singly towards them. They were all screaming Yongsun’s name, and she caught sight of the idol in front of them who gave her a sympathetic smile. She nestled closer to Moonbyul, pulling Wheein in by her shoulders to protect her from the crowds on the opposite side of the path. They were being shoved left to right, and it became increasingly hard to make any progress forward. The fans were reaching out, making the path narrower and narrower with how much they were pushing the barriers inwards.

Yongsun felt hands brush past her, but Wheein quickly threw her jacket over them both, covering them. Moonbyul held her arm out in front of the three of them, lightly pushing the outstretched hands away while they inched forward. Yongsun was starkly aware of all the cameras on them, and tried not to look too much like a scared animal for the photos, putting on a brave front and mouthing thank yous at the fans.

“Yongsun! Solar I love you!”

“Solar unnie I love you!”

“Solar look here please!”

“Get out of my way bitch! Yongsun please look here!” 

A hiss of pain was heard, and even though the screaming around them was deafening, it was so close to her ear that she couldn’t have missed it. Yongsun’s head snapped up, stopping them from moving forward any further. She saw a trickle, just a small glimpse of something red on Moonbyul’s outstretched arm, and grabbed her wrist without thinking, yanking it to her eye level. Moonbyul let out a noise of surprise but didn’t process it fast enough to resist. 

On the other side of her arm where it was shielding them from the waves of grabbing hands, there was a huge gash across it, blood slowly trickling from it. Around it were shorter, fainter red scratches. 

The hand was snatched back quickly, and she felt the guard give her a gentle shove forward while pulling the sleeve of her blazer back down. She turned her head to give a warning glare, stubbornly refusing to take even a step forward. The girl that was yelling at Moonbyul behind the barrier had not stopped, still pushing at them and at the people around them just to get what she wanted. 

Yongsun felt the rage thrum through her veins, and before anyone could stop her, she was gripping that girl’s waving arm in her own, shouting back at her at twice the volume. She could see the tears of fear in that girl’s eyes, and only thought about how much she deserved it for injuring Moonbyul. The keychain that she was holding out as a gift for the actress dropped out of her hands, and on it Yongsun could see exactly what made that scratch draw blood. The keychain was a miniature glass version of Yongsun’s first acting award, a slender, tall trophy with a pyramid shaped tip, a gift that Yongsun would have otherwise treasured had it not been given by this sad excuse of a fan.

She could feel hands on her shoulders and arms, holding her back and wrenching her away from that fan. The atmosphere was also significantly different now, charged with anxiety and panic. Cameras were going off for a different reason too, and even the fans of the other groups stuck their phones up in hopes of videoing some A-list artist’s outburst.

Everyone held their breaths for the next moment, and Yongsun felt almost like waking up. She let go of that hand, and instantly another man that she recognised as the idol group’s bodyguard stepped in as well, not touching that fan but making sure she wasn’t going anywhere. Moonbyul tucked Yongsun back between Wheein and herself, ignoring Yongsun’s indignant protests. 

Wheein took charge then, sternly warning the girl and the rest of the fans in that area not to go overboard with their shoving, and that charges would be pressed against anyone that injured another crew or artist attempting to leave the venue. The other group’s bodyguard, together with Moonbyul, helped to escort them the rest of the way out, including the makeup artist that almost got stranded behind because of the ruckus. 

She saw the neon green stripes of the studio’s security finally make their appearance, with a weak attempt at controlling the crowd. She rolled her eyes at their disinterested shoves and gestures to reign the fans in behind the barriers, the anger still boiling in her gut at the thought that their negligence might have caused all of this.

They reached the car, Wheein throwing open the doors immediately and pushed her friend in before her. Moonbyul took the front seat as usual. With all the doors shut, and the distance growing between them and the crowds that were still screaming when they drove off, the car fell to silence.

“I’ve never seen a crowd like that before, are you girls okay?” Jungsu was the first to speak, and even he was slightly shaken by the intensity of the scene back there.

“Jungsu-ssi, drop Wheein off first, then send us straight to Moonbyul’s place please.” Yongsun said in lieu of a reply. She knew she was being a diva, and felt a little guilty taking it out on her driver, so when he looked for her in the rearview mirror, worry written all over his face, she returned a reassuring smile at him.

Moonbyul was quiet in the passenger’s seat, stewing her nerves in the silence and the instructions that Jungsu just received. There was a tap on her shoulder, and a box of tissues was handed to her. She accepted it gratefully, though she didn’t dare look at Yongsun’s face despite it. She pressed the tissues against the scratch, sighing when she saw that the blood was now just mostly dried and only a little was beading at the end. 

Wheein had moved to the back row of the vehicle, in a hushed and heated conversation with who Moonbyul could only assume was their PR manager or CEO. She didn’t have to go looking to know that surely one of the hundreds of people earlier had already posted clips of what happened online, and Wheein was now embroiled in the cleaning of the mess. 

Moonbyul wanted to say something to Yongsun, to tell her that it was stupid as fuck to go off like that in public, but she took one look at the glisten in Yongsun’s eyes and decided otherwise. Yongsun had her head against the glass window as she usually did on the way home from a long work day, but the light pouring in from the street lights brought out the unshed tears that were so close to rolling down her face. She scrubbed away at them roughly with the back of her hand, letting her eyes fall shut. 

Wheein got off at the company instead of home, her phone still pressed against her ear. She sent a concerned glance at the two of them in the car, promising to text them when all was settled. Before he drove off again, Jungsu told her that he was coming back to fetch her home later, and simply waved her off when she wanted to decline. 

The trip to Moonbyul’s apartment was short, but it felt like hours when all of them in the car were so afraid of speaking. Moonbyul got out first, and no matter the weird tension between them, the privacy breach was still at the forefront of her mind when she opened Yongsun’s car door and made her put on the mask before coming out. They both thanked Jungsu profusely, and especially on Wheein’s behalf, before walking side by side to the lift lobby. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi yall, my update schedule will be a little irregular the next few weeks because of my work!!


	12. chapter twelve

Moonbyul closed the door behind her, watching Yongsun head directly to the cupboard by the television cabinet, as if she’s lived in this house for years. She pulled out the red and white canvas bag that held all of Moonbyul’s first-aid items, uttering lowly about how she saw it the previous time she was over when Moonbyul gave her a puzzled look.

She wordlessly motioned for the younger girl to sit down, and so Moonbyul complied, sitting cross-legged on the cold floor with her scratched up hand on the coffee table. Yongsun dropped the first aid kit on the table, hovering around the space until she decided how she was going to sit, grabbing a cushion off the couch and putting it on her lap as she kneeled down next to Moonbyul.

She pulled her hand onto the cushion, dabbing the antiseptic lightly with a cotton bud at the scratches and listening out for sounds of pain or flinching, relieved when she heard none. It was quiet, as she worked at it silently while feeling Moonbyul’s weighted stare at the top of her head. It was one beat of silence too much for the both of them, and Moonbyul was the first to break.

“You shouldn’t have shouted at that girl like that.” She knew it was a risky thing to say, when the hand wrapping the bandage around her wrist stopped instantly. Still, she waited impatiently for a reply.

“I’m only sorry because Wheein has to clean up my mess. Not sorry about standing up to her, though.” Yongsun clipped the ends of the bandage, finishing off the dressing neatly, but not letting the hand go. Her fingers threaded through Moonbyul’s, and the younger girl instinctively curled her fingers, holding her hand back just as tightly. 

“She just wanted to pass a gift to you, it was an accident that it scratched me.” Realistically, Yongsun knew that to be true. The gift was probably now in smithereens somewhere on the floor of that hallway, already chipped from when she gripped the fan’s wrist so hard that it fell through her fingers. The gift must have taken some time and effort to prepare, so was the fan overzealous? Yeah, definitely. But did the fan intend to hurt Moonbyul? Most probably not.

Even though she could rationalise it in her mind, she still can’t help feeling nothing but anger, and defensive of the way she reacted.

“We should be eating dinner at a restaurant by now, but here we are doing this, Byul. Is this just going to keep happening? As long as you’re working for me?”

“Yong, it’s an accident. I’ll just be more careful next time.”

“Yeah but everything before wasn’t an accident. You jumping in at every chance to shelter me, your protectiveness, everything. If this is how you are just as someone hired to guard me then what happens when-” The words came tumbling out, but Yongsun stopped it short. “...If. If we become anything more than this. Then what, Byul?”

The implication hung in the air between them, neither of them breathing easy. 

“Is this what you’re afraid of? This… is what’s holding us back?” Moonbyul’s voice came out soft, like she barely wanted an answer to her question.

“This. And other things. But answer my question first. Are you just going to keep doing this.” Yongsun won’t let her slide this time, not like the countless other times they’ve had this conversation and Moonbyul just decided to get cute with it to avoid actually addressing it. 

“What do you want me to do about it? This is who I am. What do you expect me to do then, just let you get mobbed by that crowd? You want me not to give a shit about you? Then fine, I’ll give you space-”

“Oh for fucks sake I don’t need space, Byulyi.” Yongsun released the grip she had on Moonbyul’s hand to bury her face in her palms. _ Breathe in and out.  _

“Then what do you want from me Yongsun? Quit my job?” The guard raised her voice, exasperation thick in her tone.

“I can’t have you being anymore reckless than you already are, which you will be because you’re a stubborn piece of shit who puts literally everyone before yourself and you don’t fucking care about yourself and don’t you see how that’s going to hurt the people who give two shits about you and-” 

_ Fuck you, Byul. _

Moonbyul was staring at her with so much emotions flooding out of her eyes, one second it was something that looked too much like love, the other was anger, and the next was a dumbfounded look Yongsun would have laughed at if she wasn’t already lurching forward, fingers framing Moonbyul’s face with trembling fingers. Her lips were also trembling where they met Moonbyul’s mouth, a little too desperate, too pent up, swallowing both their sighs of relief and longing.

Their noses bumped when Yongsun tried to pull back, but Moonbyul wouldn’t let her, her own hands coming up to nestle Yongsun’s head in one and her neck in the other, capturing her lips again. She could feel Yongsun’s wildly racing pulse against her thumb, matched with the breaths that she was struggling to take as they deepened the kiss even more. 

“So you don’t let me change the subject but it's okay if we kiss instead of talking?” Moonbyul whispered cheekily into the shared air between them when they finally pulled apart. 

“Shut up. You’re still not getting out of this.” Yongsun leaned their foreheads against each other, trying to catch her breath with the dizzying effect of that kiss still not lost on her. “I really need you to take care of yourself Byul-ah.”

Yongsun was looking at her with an unconscious pout on her lips, the barest hint of a frown. Moonbyul nodded earnestly, wholeheartedly meaning it this time. If this was what they needed to work, then she was damn well going to do everything she could about it. Sleep more, drink more water, think twice before doing stupidly reckless things, do nothing that would make Yongsun look this upset ever again. 

“You said this was one of the things earlier. What’s the rest?” She asked, releasing Yongsun from her hold so she could sit in a more comfortable position. 

“Just the fact that I’m an actress. And we’re in South Korea. And we’re both women.” Yongsun fiddled with Moonbyul’s fingers as she spoke, choosing to look down at them instead of returning Moonbyul’s gaze. “This is all really new to me, you know? We have to think about so many things, like the fact that we can never be together in the public’s eye, and no one can know about us. Are you really okay with that?”

“It’s not ideal, but does it really matter? Since the moment I realised I liked you I’ve always thought about it, about what it would mean to be in a relationship with Korea’s national sweetheart, but then I guess it all doesn’t really matter, because we’re in it for ourselves, not for anyone else. No one has to know, Yong-ah.” Moonbyul giggled when Yongsun scoffed and rolled her eyes at  _ national sweetheart _ quip, but there was a softening of her features that she saw too.

“Who said we’re in a relationship huh, seems like someone thinks I’m easy and clean forgot to pop the question and just assume-” It was Moonbyul’s turn to spring the kiss on her this time, her giggles getting the best of her as Yongsun tried to reciprocate with as much fervour as she could manage while laughing that much. She was pushed back onto the floor, Moonbyul rolling them both on their sides to face each other. The next time their lips met it was a short peck, but no less meaningful. 

“Be mine, Kim Yongsun.” It was more of an exhale than it was a spoken question, but it made the breath in Yongsun’s lungs catch from how heartfelt it was.

“Okay. You’re mine too, Moon Byulyi.” She said back, just as softly, as if any louder would break the bubble they were in.

They stayed that way for a while, lying down on the now-warm floor in the narrow space between the sofa and the coffee table, syncing their breaths and basking in the moment.

“We should get some food, and then call Wheein to deal with whatever we have to deal with.” Yongsun hated that she was the one to bring them back down to Earth, but a distracted glance at the wall clock behind Moonbyul made her remember everything else that happened.

“You call Wheein first, I doubt she has eaten dinner too. I’m going to go change.” Moonbyul heaved as she got up, extending her uninjured hand to Yongsun to drag her up as well. 

She returned to the living room a few minutes later in a more casual outfit to catch Yongsun on the tail end of her phone call with Wheein.

“...Yeah, I got it. Okay, we’ll be there.” A short, pregnant pause. “Shut up you rascal. Oh my god I’ll tell you later okay, I’m hanging up now. Bye.” Yongsun hit the red button as soon as the phone screen lit up again, shaking her head and sighing.

“I’m assuming that she’s going to chew our heads off over this later, right?” Moonbyul wrapped her arms around Yongsun from the back, delighting in the way the girl melted into her hug. 

“She and Hyejin made bets on how fast we would take to call either of them. Hyejin won and apparently I owe Wheein free dinner now.” Yongsun turned around in her arms. “It’s on you so it’s your treat. It’s your fault for making them meet and now we have two grown children to stress over.” 

Moonbyul looked at her in mock-offence, sighing dramatically before replying. “Fine, my treat. Let’s go feed ourselves and our older child now shall we?” 

Yongsun nodded gleefully. Whatever happened earlier at the studio, and everything she would have to deal with later from her bosses and managers, cannot even attempt to overshadow how contented and full she was feeling at that moment. She let herself be brought in for another quick peck, the two of them seemingly unable to stop themselves now that they knew what the other’s lips felt like, before grabbing the masks at the drawers near the door and handing one to Moonbyul.

They made their way downstairs, Yongsun eagerly grasping on when Moonbyul held out a hand for her to hold. It was discreet, their joined hands slightly hidden by the sleeves of their windbreakers and jackets, but it still meant a lot to the two of them. And like Moonbyul said earlier, that was all that mattered. Yongsun pulled out her phone to bring up her ride-hailing app, but was stopped by the younger girl. Moonbyul pointed to a car parked in a lot not too far away, its blinkers flashing and letting out a beep when she reached into her pockets for the keys.

“You have a car? You drive?” Yongsun said, stunned. Moonbyul simply kept on walking them towards it cooly, answering with an unaffected yes. 

“But this is a G-class.” She was standing in front of the hood, pointing and staring at the car blankly.

“Yes, Solar-ssi, it’s a G-class. And?” Moonbyul replied her, amused at her reaction.

“I know you’re not being underpaid or anything but damn, Byul, how much do bodyguards make a month?” She let out a chuckle of disbelief, still unblinkingly looking at the behemoth of a vehicle and its blue and white logo.

“My last client was someone who has access to nuclear codes, so what do you think?” Moonbyul ushered her girlfriend into the passenger seat, pushing a button on the side to bring up the tinted layer that turned the clear windows into a barely-see through one. “You can close your mouth now, darling.” She said, tapping lightly on Yongsun’s dropped jaw before closing the door for her.

“Oh so you’re saying I’m a downgrade from your previous client, is that it, Moonbyul-ssi?” Yongsun said petulantly when Moonbyul returned to the driver’s seat.

“I didn’t say that, Kim Solar, besides, politicians are no fun to work with. I’d much prefer this.” She quipped, her voice dripping in sleaze at the end, making Yongsun shriek in response. 

They arrived at a nearby restaurant after a short drive, the one that Moonbyul initially intended to bring Yongsun to had all the madness not happened. She hopped out of the car to grab their dinners, including one for Wheein, keeping sight of the car the whole time. They decided it was easier and safer if Yongsun had just stayed in the car, and Yongsun understood immediately when Moonbyul apologised for having to lock the car doors anyway. 

She returned to Yongsun on the phone with Jungsu telling him that they’ve got their own transport back, and they started making their way to the company with the smell of food filling the car.

As soon as they showed up at the doors, Wheein hurriedly ushered them to her small office, pulling up two more chairs around her table for them. They dug into their dinners while Wheein ran them through everything they’ve missed.

The PR managers and her team have been following the social media pages since the incident happened, monitoring the main celebrity news sites to gauge the public response to the circulating videos and witness accounts. Apparently, the general opinion was split, with some people saying that the fan deserved her outrage, for being so inconsiderate with her actions, while some others thought that Yongsun was a respected celebrity that should never have caused this much of a commotion in public.

They ate in silence as they read the comments on Wheein’s computer, their appetites slightly diminished at how harsh some of these comments were. Wheein was cursing under her breath as she played yet another video that was conveniently cut before it could capture the shot of Moonbyul’s injured arm, and with the person recording speaking so loudly that Yongsun couldn’t be heard telling off the girl for causing that scratch.

“No wonder the opinion is so split when these videos don’t even show what actually happened. It looked like unnie just randomly grabbed someone to yell at.” She was clearly upset, clicking too hard on her mouse to bookmark the video for their PR team’s attention. 

There was a knock on their door, and it cracked open slightly to reveal the PR manager and CEO peeking in together. Yongsun jumped to her feet immediately, head slightly bowed as she braced herself for the scolding that was inevitably going to happen. She saw in her peripheral version Wheein and Moonbyul do the same, but the two of them looked ready to jump to her defense.

The CEO let a tense silence hang in the air for a short moment, breaking it with a low chuckle. He pushed the ajar door shut, and gestured to their chairs to make them sit down.

“How’s the wound, Moonbyul?” He sat down on another spare chair, tipping his head towards Moonbyul’s arm.

“It’s just a small scratch, it’s fine.” Moonbyul replied, not pulling up her sleeve despite the eyes on her hinting for her to.

“Okay, that’s good.” The CEO relented, looking around the room to meet their anticipating looks. “I know you’re all expecting me to scold you, be angry at you for what happened. But I saw the videos, I heard from Wheein and Miya about what that fan did to Moonbyul.”

He turned his attention fully to the guilty actress in front, trying to make her look up. “What you did was careless, but I do not blame you for reacting that way. Just be more mindful in future, okay?” 

“We’ll be releasing a statement soon, just an apology for causing this situation, but we will also use this statement to remind fans to be careful at such places, and as a precaution, we will not be letting you accept any gifts from fans at these unplanned events. We’ll also be mentioning that our staff got injured in the chaos, if it's okay with you, Moonbyul-ssi?” The PR manager spoke up from the corner she was standing in, smiling at Moonbyul politely when she nodded.

“Will we be holding the studio accountable as well? Their security team was negligent, and frankly, none of this would have happened if they had done their jobs. The other guests that were there can attest to this.” The guard asked when the manager finished her speech. The CEO dropped his head in thought, sighing inaudibly before looking to the PR manager for an answer.

“Not so soon. Yongsun’s uncut interview is still in their hands. This is purely diplomatic, but we don’t want to start anything that may jeopardise it until it airs. We’re going to hold off any action till then, then ask the other companies if they wanna help us out.” The PR manager left immediately after saying her piece, when her team member knocked on the door for her.

“You girl just take a short break until the next schedule. Wheein, you fill the two of them in on it later. Anyway, thank you for looking out for Yongsun, Moonbyul. It’s a good thing you were there, or I’m sure these two would have gotten themselves hurt instead.” The CEO said, standing up.

Yongsun looked like she was going to say something, even from the back Moonbyul could see the way her head jerked up a little at his words. She wrapped her fingers around the actress’ wrist, stopping her.

“I’m just doing my job.” She replied curtly, anxious for him to just leave them already. She didn’t let Yongsun’s hand go, taking comfort in the way the girl’s pulse next to her fingers slowed down a bit.

“I’m going to update you on the schedule as he said, but not here.” Wheein announced the second the door closed behind her boss. Her stolen glances at the watch on her wrist made a smirk find itself onto Moonbyul’s lips. She knew exactly what she was going to say. 

“Let’s grab a drink while talking.”

Of course, they ended up at Hyejin’s bar. Moonbyul ferried them over in her car, Wheein giving the same reaction Yongsun did when she saw the black car in the lot and the car keys in Moonbyul’s hands. It was amusing to hear the both of them bet and guess firstly the price of the car, then her monthly salary, going wilder and wilder as the guesses became increasingly ridiculous.

Hyejin unlocked the private room for them to get started on their drinks first, while she handed off the bar to her employees’ care. It was the first time the four of them were together again, ever since that night of the drama wrap celebration, but Yongsun could see how the dynamic between the other three had already found itself. Wheein took the time to run through their schedule for the next week as quickly as she could.

Yongsun was scheduled for a trip to Shanghai in a few days’ time for a drama award show, something she was aware of and had been planning for a long time. Wheein briefed them on the itenary, flight information and hotels, as well as the notes their CEO gave them. Apparently, there were plenty of Chinese producers and directors eager to get Yongsun on board their projects ever since her movie aired in China, and Yongsun was to use the opportunity to introduce herself to them and make a good first impression. 

Moonbyul asked for a copy of every single venue’s security blueprint and detail, planning to iron out the kinks before they had to depart so that they could avoid running into the same chaos again. Wheein grumbled under her breath, something about warning her not to start nagging, flipping through her binder before she got the papers Moonbyul wanted and shoved it at her.

“Okay now that there’s no more further questions, here.” She clapped her hands together, making all of them put away any work related things on their table and pouring them the soju that had been sitting on the side. “Start drinking and talking.”

“Gimme more.” Moonbyul uttered, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand after tipping the glass all the way back in a single breath. This was so typical of her, the need to be borderline tipsy before she can start sharing anything even minutely emotional or sentimental. Wheein happily obliged, pouring rounds after rounds for her.

Hyejin came back just in time to hear them talk about the small fight and confirm out loud that they were together, and simply shook her head and initiated drinking games with Wheein in their own little bubble when the storytelling session of their two older friends became a bickering session instead.

By the end of the night, Yongsun was the only one who was knocked out, slumped over Moonbyul’s lap, after a relatively wild past five minutes of loudly declaring that she wasn’t drunk. The three others chatted into the night while the oldest snored away, until they decided it was time to go, and this time, all of them helped to haul the passed out girl to Moonbyul’s. They all stayed the night, dressed in the matching pajamas that Moonbyul happened to have four sets of, squeezed together on the too-small bed and slept until morning came.


	13. chapter thirteen

Yongsun started the next few days after that night the exact same way, waking up to different fragrances of broths and dishes every morning. She would guess in her heart what the breakfast was that morning, taking a peek over Moonbyul’s shoulders as she wrapped herself around the younger girl to check if her guess was right. 

She wondered what she did in her past life to deserve this bliss, of being able to eat home cooked breakfast, while listening to her girlfriend hum along to soft ballads that made her feel some type of way in the mornings. Yongsun would in turn help the both of them pack for the trip to China, and clean the dishes as Moonbyul cooked. She considered how natural it felt, even if it was only four days since the beginning of the relationship, it felt like they’ve had this routine for forever. _Life is truly better when you let yourself go and give fewer fucks._

That day, Yongsun roused from sleep, about to turn over in the bed when she realised she couldn’t. There were arms snaked around her waist, and a body pressed up against her back. Moonbyul’s soft snores were tickling the back of her ear, but she didn’t mind it at all, nuzzling herself back even more until there wasn’t a breath of space between them, playing with her girlfriend’s fingers resting against her belly as she slept. 

When her phone started vibrating on the nightstand, she knew she had about ten seconds before the alarm tone started blasting instead. Yongsun reached out the small distance between herself and the nightstand, but the deadweight against her back just snuggled even closer. She let out a huff, resigned, and just settled on letting the soft alarm song she’d chosen play out.

She did her best to turn in Moonbyul’s tight embrace, kissing the top of her head when she succeeded, and watched as Moonbyul’s eyes blinked open groggily. They focused on hers, and a smile found its way onto both their lips.

“Morning.” Yongsun punctuated the greeting with another kiss, this time on the tip of her nose. “Woke up to a koala wrapped around me.”

Moonbyul grinned unabashedly at her, tilting her head back to touch her nose to the older’s chin. “Breakfast is ready. I’m sleepy and lazy today, so I didn’t cook, but I bought samgyetang from the store opposite the cafe.”

“Did you drink a lot at Hyejin’s last night?”

“...No.”

“Really?”

Yongsun grabbed her phone off the nightstand, unlocking it hastily and began reading out the texts from her girlfriend last night.

“ _Yong, with fifteen Os and ten Gs. Unnie, did you know that I like girls? Why must you like guys, why don’t you like me. What do I do to make you like me, crying face emoji_.” She struggled to read the rest of the text as a hand was slapped over her mouth and another one prying her phone out of her hand.

“ _Oh, Wheenie said you like girls too. Good unnie! Girls are good, men suck. Thank god. You’re too pretty for men.”_ Moonbyul dug her face into the pillow in shame, hands still trying to make Yongsun stop talking and reading those drunk texts. Her girlfriend was literally rolling in laughter beside her, enjoying her embarrassment way too much. 

She hated the fact that she remembered exactly how it went down, when she mixed two drinks that she wasn’t supposed to mix and got drunk way sooner than she expected, and Wheein and Hyejin just sat next to her giggling as they watched her type out her declarations of love to Yongsun. They were both going to hell for letting this happen.

Yongsun wouldn’t stop teasing her about it even as they ate their breakfast, and Moonbyul found that the only retaliation that worked was returning all that boldness in those texts with twice the firepower, unironically complimenting her girlfriend’s beauty until the only reaction Yongsun could give her was punches thrown at her arm. 

“I can’t stay for long today, Yong-ah. I’m booked for training.” Moonbyul said, returning from the kitchen after cleaning up their dishes. She plopped herself down next to Yongsun on the couch, and the two open luggages that Yongsun was struggling to close.

“You’ve never mentioned training to me before.” Yongsun replied, resorting to sitting on the bursting luggages to weigh it close while zipping them up. “Or your work for the matter.”

“Because there’s not that much to talk about. My work is boring, you sure you wanna hear about it?”

“Humour me.”

Moonbyul chuckled at Yongsun’s face of triumph when she succeeded in closing both the luggages, pulling her onto the couch and into her lap when she was done.

“What do you wanna know about my work then, Solar-ssi?”

“You mentioned politicians before. Am I your first celebrity client? What’s your job scope as a bodyguard for say.... A president?”

“You’re my first A-list celebrity client. The previous one I had years ago honestly wasted his company’s money, no one recognized him at all on the streets so I’m not sure why they had to hire a bodyguard for him, and from BG Academy no less.” She received a slap on the thigh for that comment, though she didn’t take it back.

“For politicians, the job was a bit more complicated. The Academy always receives clients that have either a long line of political rivals or enemies in gangs or something. There’s a whole wing in the Academy specialising in intelligence and investigation, so we can anticipate ambushes or assasination attempts. I had, uh… a few of such clients.” 

“Then what’s training like? I didn’t know you had to train while on the job.” Yongsun turned slightly in her arms, concerned. She could feel like there was a whole trove of things Moonbyul had locked away regarding this topic, and she knew better than to go digging for it without asking first.

“Training is kinda fun, I take it as a workout. Usually I train with Seulgi, my junior and sparring partner, but these days I train alone. Just a studio and a practice dummy, sometimes a firing range.”

“Can I go with you?” 

Moonbyul leaned back at that question, tilting Yongsun’s head around to face her. “You wanna join me for my training?”

“Yeah, can’t I? You’re training alone anyway right? So I can just join you in sparring… and all that.” 

This time Moonbyul was truly gawking back at her, a question mark drawn between her brows as she considered what Yongsun was proposing.

“Cmon, it will be fun. And you can teach me some fight moves or something, you know, self-defence what not.” 

“Ma'am I will have you know that training sessions are precious and I will every minute very fruitfully. So it won’t be fun. If you want me to teach you then I will, but I won’t hold back, can you handle that?” Moonbyul teased. Yongsun snorted at the cockiness, rolling her eyes back. 

“I will also have you know that I used to take pole dance, am a dancer, and practiced taekwondo extensively for one of my roles.”

“Well I know all that.” Moonbyul blurted out, before the realisation hit her that it was basically an admission to having followed all of Yongsun’s filmography and roles. “But still. My point stands, I won’t hold back, try to catch up if you can.”

* * *

Moonbyul was genuinely, _genuinely_ trying not to hold back. But then Yongsun emerged from the changing room at that training studio in just a black sports bra and shorts with some kind of netted short stocking underneath, a long kimono-style outerwear draping off her shoulders, with her fringe braided to a side in a way that Moonbyul really wanted to run her fingers through.

Yongsun caught her open mouth stare, and smirked smugly, tipping her head back as she let a bit of the water she was drinking run down her chest. 

“Eyes up here, Byul.” She sauntered over to where Moonbyul was standing like a brick in the middle of the room, taking slow stupid blinks as she tried to collect herself. Yongsun was never intending to play this sparring session fair. Or it was, considering that Moonbyul had the upper hand in skill, she should level the playing field in her own way. 

“S-so we can start with weapons first. Uh, staff?” Moonbyul stuttered, and Yongsun could literally hear the other girl’s heartbeat from where she was cornering her against the shelf of different weapons, feeling proud at having this much of an effect on her.

Moonbyul cleared her throat purposefully loudly, grabbing two staffs off the rack and tossing one into Yongsun’s hands. Yongsun tested the weight of the length of wood in her hand, giving it a few spins in front of her before bending her knees slightly into position. She held it diagonally across her chest as she stared up at Moonbyul from her lowered position.

“Oh, already? You learnt this in one of your prep classes for _Warrior’s Time_?” Moonbyul remarked, mirroring her girlfriend exactly, but with the staff a lot more centred in her grip than Yongsun’s. She knew with experience that it was where she needed to hold it to have a steady grip but at the same time deliver less force in her attacks. It was how she would win Seulgi each time without leaving her too many bruises to remember the defeat by.

“Yeah, so this isn’t my first time holding a staff. Come on, Byul, what are you waiting for? Attack.” Yongsun challenged, her knuckles turning white from how hard she was holding the staff.

They both stayed still for a pause at that challenge, as if to give the other the last chance of back out. Neither do, and so it began. 

Moonbyul made the first move, repeating a move she had demonstrated time and time again for her juniors back when she was training in the academy. She moved swiftly at Yongsun, making aborted thrusts of her staff in the air, smirking as she got the exact reaction she wanted - Yongsun reflexively blocking her faux-attacks. Taking advantage of the distraction, she swooped down into a crouch quickly, taking a swipe at Yongsun’s feet and hitting precisely where she needed to have her falling onto her back.

Yongsun huffed as she dropped onto the ground, the staff still firmly gripped in her hand. The other girl stared at her from where she stood, throwing her staff smoothly into another hand before extending her freed hand for Yongsun to grab onto.

“What are you doing?” 

“Helping you up, what does it look like I’m doing.”

“Do you help your sparring partners up after barely a knockout? Thought you said this was going to be a challenge?” 

“Well no, but you’re not trained for this, and I don’t want to hurt you.” 

“Moon Byulyi, you’re still holding back.” Yongsun leaned her head back against the slightly cushioned floor, lips curving up into a sly smile. “Didn’t you say you won’t hold back?”

With that, Yongsun rolled over and onto her haunches, performing that same move Moonbyul used on her earlier, but with a variation that she still remembered from her stunt rehearsals. She swiped the staff in an arc on the ground around where Moonbyul was standing, bringing her crashing to the floor in a loud thud. She twirled the staff in her hand with a fluidity that her stunt instructor would have been proud of, knocking the staff out of Moonbyul’s hand. 

The fallen guard’s mouth opened and closed like a fish, and it took her more than a few seconds to register what had happened. When she did, she peeked through her eyelashes to gauge where her girlfriend was, the lack of a weapon not fazing her at all.

_Oh it’s on, Kim Yongsun._

When Moonbyul got back up on her feet again, it was Yongsun’s turn to attack, and for the younger to take the defense. Yongsun made a choice not to grab the dropped staff, going on with only one. Maybe she took pity on her now weaponless girlfriend, or maybe this was just her idea of a fair fight. Either way, she would regret it soon. 

Moonbyul figured out very quickly that all Yongsun had learnt from whatever pre-production stunt training she had was the very cliched set of moves that looked good on camera but were hardly ever used in practice. But she also learned that Yongsun was stronger than she expected, making up whatever she lacked in technique with the power behind her attacks. 

It was all still too easy to predict, though, when Yongsun once again took a swipe at her feet, and this time, Moonbyul just leapt up and landed in a forward roll, retrieving back her staff. She emerged with a knee and palm on the ground, the staff behind her back and ready to react. She peered up at Yongsun, and gave a single warning smile before she attacked again. 

She was in the perfect position to surge forward, using the top end of her weapon to hook onto Yongsun’s own, and with the death grip that Yongsun had on that staff, it was easy to send her flying to the ground again. _Rookie mistake._ Moonbyul nudged her own staff to Yongsun’s neck, a cocky grin on her face, and she could see the exact breath Yongsun took before her next move. Yongsun grabbed onto the end of the staff that was lazily knocking her chin, but Moonbyul was faster.

She twisted the staff in her grip, using the momentum to pull herself into a controlled drop onto the ground above Yongsun, effectively pinning the older girl down. She hooked one leg around Yongsun’s ankle when Yongsun tried to flip them both over, holding onto her upper hand. Yongsun couldn’t move if she tried in this position. 

Moonbyul stared down at Yongsun from that angle, acutely aware of how compromising that position was. Yongsun was out of breath and glaring up at her with a raise of her eyebrows, the challenge in her eyes refusing to die. All she could focus on was how both of Yongsun’s wrists were somehow in her firm grasp against the floor, and the next thing she knew, her leg was kicked out from under her, and she found herself staring up at Yongsun this time.

“Tsk, did no one ever teach you not to get distracted in battle, Moonbyul-ssi.” Yongsun’s hair hung from a side, letting slivers of light through. There was dirt on her cheeks where they brushed against the ground in her impressive attempt at reversing the hands. Her girlfriend learned fast, she thought proudly, when her own ankle was wrapped around Yongsun’s leg and her hands in a vice grip above her head. 

“Who said I’m distracted?” Moonbyul retorted under her breath, not intending for it to sound as breathy as it came out. “Not bad for learning that so fast, but you should know...”

A sharp upturn of her hips threw Yongsun back just enough for her to break her arms free, rolling herself out of the trapped position.

“...I invented that move, and also how to get out of it.” She jumped to her feet, holding out a hand for Yongsun to do the same. Yongsun picked her staff back up, this time the determination was written all over her pursed lips and knitted brows. She moved to strike at Moonbyul’s shoulder, but Moonbyul avoids it easily, dodging the blows left and right. A lesser fighter would have been caught off balance with how surprisingly quick Yongsun was throwing out the attacks, but Moonbyul wasn’t one. She stepped back, striked back, pivoted and deflected every blow, the whole time with one hand relaxed behind her back and a smirk that she refused to wipe off her face. But her cockiness was just as attractive as it was infuriating, and Yongsun wanted to knock that smugness off her entire being, wanted to back her against the wall and-

 _Focus, Yongsun,_ she told herself with a hint of desperation.

She was panting hard at the effort of it all, and Moonbyul was barely breaking a sweat. With one final huff, she threw her staff lower than she was hitting, and by sheer luck she struck Moonbyul where she didn’t expect, and distracted her just enough to disarm her. She did not let up, positioning the staff across Moonbyuls’s shoulders and pressed forward, moving with her as she eventually hit the wall. 

Yongsun leaned in close, her mind racing to find something cocky or smart-ass to say, but her brain came up empty when Moonbyul’s eyes were poring into hers like that. A hand snaked into her loosely hanging outerwear, fingers wrapping against her back muscles like they belonged there. Moonbyul’s other hand found her waist easily, sliding down until it staked its claim on her hips. 

“Do you want something, Byul-ah.”

“...Yes.”

“Tell me.”

“Yong-”

“ _Tell me._ ” Yongsun dropped the staff, using her entire torso to pin Moonbyul to that wall instead, and she knew that the younger girl would rather die than admit it but she knew that the sound Moonbyul just made was a moan.

“I want you to kiss me.” 

Yongsun obliged, the smugness in her grin rivalling Moonbyul’s one earlier as she leaned forward to kiss her, silently declaring herself victorious in this fight. 

* * *

Eventually Yongsun just settled for sitting on the benches while unabashedly staring as her girlfriend finished up the training regiment as she originally intended, going through her rounds with the practice dummy and punching bags. She still had Moonbyul’s lip balm smeared messily on her lips, but she didn’t bother wiping it off, and it just got messed up again when Moonbyul emerged from the studio’s shower literally running at her for a kiss. 

_As a reward for actually finishing what I planned to do, unnie._

_Yeah, right._

They picked up dinner at a cafe near the studio, discreet in their athlesisure attires. It was becoming a new normal now, to buy dinner for four, before heading off to Hyejin’s pub where Wheein was probably already waiting. They ate their dinners together, the older girls just enjoying the fact that they got to take care of their younger friends this way. 

As usual, Moonbyul would send Yongsun home first, because she wasn’t the night owl the other three were, and had to sleep early, _like a grandma_ , as Wheein so eloquently put it. Moonbyul would then return to the bar afterwards to continue where she left off with Hyejin and Wheein.

That night, she had only just left the lobby of Yongsun’s apartment complex, about to unlock her car doors when her phone’s ringtone sounded out into the quiet night. The CEO’s name flashed across the screen as she pulled out the phone, swiping to answer it immediately.

“Need you and Wheein back at the company ASAP, is it alright?”

“Give us fifteen minutes.” 

With that, she was starting the engines back up, already hanging up so she could dial Wheein’s number. 

“Get ready, I’m coming to pick you up. Your CEO just called. It’s urgent.”


	14. chapter fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> T/W: Violence, blood, death, panic attacks, PTSD

When they reached the office, it was dark, as it would be at 10pm on a work day. The only lights that were on were the ones in the CEO’s office and the single lit up computer screen Moonbyul recognised as the secretary’s. She could hear Wheein gulp audibly, not used to seeing her workplace in such an ominously dark setting.

They knocked on the door of the CEO’s office, letting themselves into the room. The CEO was seated at his desk, arms crossed on the table, with an unreadable expression on his face. His secretary got up to greet them, offering them the chairs opposite the CEO’s seat. On the table between them, was a stack of printed photos, of a very familiar building.

“Is this…” Wheein started, pointing to the photos.

“Someone just dropped this in our letterbox downstairs and left. Eunha and I haven’t left yet, so the security guard told us about it.” 

Moonbyul picked up the photos, flipping through each of them. There were only four, but they were all almost the same, a grainy photograph of Yongsun’s apartment complex, one picture for each of the four blocks that constitutes the whole complex. On the back of two of the photos, there were words scribbled in blue ink.

_ Am I right? _

_ Which one is it? _

She could not stop the chill that ran down her spine if she tried. Wheein’s hand instinctively found hers, gripping on tight as if she would fall if she didn’t. The anxiety grew as she recalled that just twenty minutes ago, she was walking Yongsun up to her flat. She knew the timing wouldn’t check out, but for all the other times they were walking home together, had the stalker been lurking somewhere, watching them? 

The angle at which the photographs were taken were incredibly vague, and the photographer was most likely standing somewhere along the busy sidewalk, so there was no way to pinpoint exactly which of the hundreds of people walking there was the culprit.

“Are there any cameras at your letterbox? Maybe we can ID the person who dropped these off.” Moonbyul asked, glancing up at the boss who looked like he hadn’t slept in days.

“I can show you the footage we got, but we’ve already seen it, and frankly, it’s useless.” He replied, pulling up a window on his computer. The footage was dark, but one thing was for sure. There was nothing extraordinary they could see on his person that they could use to identify him with. He was wearing standard surgical gloves, a mask and sunglasses, clad in a sleeved black shirt and full length pants. There were no symbols or brands on anything he was wearing, and neither were there visible tattoos they could use to single him out in a crowd. It was a dead end.

“Unnie, can you let Yongsun stay with you for now?” Wheein finally found her voice again, though it cracked with worry at the edges. 

“I think that’s a little much to ask of you, Moonbyul, after all you’re just-”

“I can do it, it’s not troublesome at all. It’s easier to look out for her that way.” Moonbyul interrupted the CEO, watching nervously as he stared a second too long at her answer, expression morphing into one of curiosity and suspicion.

“Are you sure? I will still want to keep her away from knowing about all of this, so you will have to figure out a way to make her stay over without asking any questions, is that alright?” He was fazed, unsure of what to make of the situation, but chose to accept it seeing as there were no easier options.

“That’s okay, I will talk to her.” Moonbyul assured him, dropping her eyes back onto the photos on hand. “Whoever this person is, I’m quite sure he is local. We’ll be in China for the next week, so there’s that at least.”

There was a slight comfort in that knowledge, that they will be out of reach of this person for a while. The secretary set down a few papers in her hand in front of the CEO, a gentle reminder for him to address the other points.

“Right, so, your flights tomorrow.” He clasped his hands together, sifting through the papers. “I’ve looked through your plans about the security, Moonbyul, I think it's pretty solid.” 

He pulled out the papers detailing the extensive research Moonbyul did on the security at both the Seoul and Shanghai airports, and the plan to move around without the mob that they’re expecting will show up on Yongsun’s arrival.

“I’ll be seeing all of you off tomorrow at the airport, so I’ll meet you there. I’ve said this before but, thank you for taking care of these two kids, I’m really glad we put our trust in your Academy.” With that, he shooed them out of his office, sternly directing them to head home immediately and turn in earlier for the long day ahead.

They called Hyejin in the car to explain their sudden disappearance earlier, and actually heeded the CEO’s advice to go straight home. Moonbyul sent Wheein to her apartment, not before giving the manager a warm, reassuring hug. She was as scared as Wheein was, the image of a faceless person following Yongsun in the shadows unable to leave her mind. But that hug gave them both a little more hope, because they both knew the other would stop at nothing to keep Yongsun safe, and that thought alone comforted them.

It was 4am when Moonbyul jolted awake in the pitch blackness, the gunshot still ricocheting in her mind. 

* * *

An hour before their flight, the girls met with the CEO and the rest of the styling team joining them on the trip. The crowds at the airport were tame, considering that the information about their flight leaked out more than three hours ago. They had Moonbyul’s drawn up security detail to thank, when they found the crowds parting like the red sea for them, with either sides of the formed path lined with security guards and airport staff. 

Moonbyul allowed Yongsun to take her time, waving to the fans and smiling for the cameras, stopping occasionally for a photo with a fan. She never let her go any further than an arm’s length away, though, her eyes scrutinizing every portion of the crowd that Yongsun went near. 

They made their way smoothly past the departure gates, and it was like the group of them let out a collective sigh of relief. It wasn’t all that bad, and all things considered, this was one of the easier times Yongsun had trying to make it out alive of an airport. She gave Moonbyul an appreciative squeeze of her hand, knowing that all this was only possible because of her efforts. 

It was the same when they landed in Shanghai, except Moonbyul forgot to factor in just how passionate the Chinese fans were, and how massively popular Yongsun was there. They used the same configuration of guards and staff, but people were still pushing and shoving, so Moonbyul found herself having to hold Yongsun much closer to her, Wheein gripping on tightly to the back of her jacket. 

This time, when Moonbyul held out a hand to clear their path and a fan’s hand wrapped around her wrist, it was Yongsun who slapped that hand away, throwing a glare at that fan’s direction before pulling her guard in closer by her jacket lapels.

“Solar-ssi, you kinda have to let me do my job.” She hummed lowly into Yongsun’s ear, wincing when Yongsun just elbowed her in reply. She was already wearing the thick leather jacket that Yongsun insisted she wore as some sort of protective armour for her arms, despite how warm the jacket made her. She had been given an entire lecture in the plane ride about keeping the sleeves down and  _ don’t do anything that would make me wanna knee you in public. _

Regardless, it made her heart warm when she thought about how protective Yongsun was over her.

They arrived at their hotel after a long ride, the whole group of them quiet and sober from having just woken up from their naps. They only had a few hours to prepare before the big event that night, so they quickly checked in for their keys and headed up to their rooms.

“The rest of the staff are paired up for their rooms, so the three of us have two rooms left. Here.” Wheein shoved one of the two keys in her hand at Yongsun. “I’m rooming alone.”

“You can just bunk in with us, you don’t have to room alone, Wheein-ah.” 

“I rather sleep naked in the hallway than bunk in with you two.” 

“We won’t do anything! Especially not if you’re in the room with us?” 

“You say that now, but I can bet that by day three I will be locked out at some point, so.”

“We won’t do that? Say something Byul-ah!”

Yongsun was desperately trying to defend them, but Moonbyul was not helping at all, obnoxiously losing it next to her. Wheein tapped her keycard on the lock to her room, carting her luggage in after her with a chant of ‘nope’ under her breath.

All Yongsun could do was stare in disbelief at Wheein’s closed room door, until she felt herself getting dragged into the adjacent room by her giggling girlfriend. The styling team was probably going to come knocking in an hour to begin preparing Yongsun, and they were both beyond exhausted from all the travelling, so they spent that hour trying their best to nap as much as they could.

It felt like only minutes passed, the sound of chatter outside the wooden door getting louder and louder. The doorbell rang, and Moonbyul opened it to their entire team waiting outside, armed with all the styling tools and Yongsun’s outfit in a clear dress cover. They worked on making the actress look less like she just woke up, while Moonbyul and Wheein made a run to a nearby cafe to buy coffee for all of them.

They arrived at the venue punctually, going through the motions of walking the carpet. Moonbyul stood off to the side as the fans cheered for Yongsun, the flashes going off at a mile a minute. Yongsun was wearing a stunning fiery red sequined dress, the V of the neckline dipping just above her navel. Anyone else would not have gotten away with this, but Yongsun made it made it clear enough that she doesn’t give a fuck what the media had to say about her outfits. The sequins hung off her curves like dripping lava, and the fringe on the hem shimmered as she moved. 

Moonbyul couldn’t, and didn’t want to, take her eyes away. Of all the screams of adoration, all the camera clicks and reaching hands, she was the only one who could fall back into Yongsun’s arms at the end of every day. 

“What’s with that smile?” The actress asked the second Moonbyul was back by her side to lead her to where the interviewers were.

“Hm.” She hummed, ducking when another celebrity with a hat half the size of a table strutted past them. “Just thinking about how there are a million people who want you and I’m the only one who can have you.” 

The blush was visible on the highs of Yongsun’s cheek when the first interviewer started asking their questions. Moonbyul kept herself out of frame next to the interpreter, watching as Yongsun averted her eyes in a panic when they accidentally made eye contact mid-interview. When all was over, she thought that maybe she deserved the smack she got on her arm for all that blatant flirting.

The event was pretty dry for the most part, mainly because the team backstage didn’t understand anything. Moonbyul did, but only as much as she could remember of the language from back when she worked for a Chinese client. Wheein bugged her for translations every thirty seconds, when the presenters they were watching through the small TV monitors seemed to be announcing yet another award category. 

Yongsun was nominated for a popularity award, one of the first Korean female actresses to have that honour in China. It spoke volumes of how well-deserved that award was, when the presenters announced the winner, Yongsun’s name in Chinese, and the entire audience erupted into roars of cheers. The team in the waiting room was also all on their feet, hugging each other as they watched their beloved actress walk up the stage to receive her award. 

Wheein was still screaming through the phone to their CEO when Moonbyul came back to the room with Yongsun this time, and cheering started back up in their room again. To think that just weeks ago, when this exact same scene happened at that talkshow, they were at the peak of their cold war, and neither could approach the other to properly celebrate. But now Moonbyul was stealing Yongsun away into the changing room for a congratulatory kiss, and she almost had to pinch herself with how surreal and dizzying that felt. 

That night, the rest of the team went out for dinner at a nice, quiet restaurant, but Yongsun could only long to join them. There was already an afterparty scheduled, and at least Moonbyul and Wheein were going to be with her. It was going to be a whole night of proper socialising, meeting the apparently long line of directors and producers who wanted to know her. 

She had been preparing for this for a long time, having studied all their names, briefed herself on their works and made some prior decisions and judgement on the handful of these people that she was actually interested in working with. No matter how prepared she knew she was, there was still a deep set dread in her at the thought of spending hours acting like the extroverted social butterfly she was far from being.

She was offered drinks left and right the whole night, but every glass was taken out of her hands by Wheein and Moonbyul, who drank in her place. She was grateful for them, but at some point had to reject the drinks just to save them from drinking too much.Wheein was in full swing of her manager mode, walking around with her own interpreter and finding chances to speak to the bigger name directors and producers about Yongsun’s interest in their projects. All things considered, the night was going extremely well, despite how exhausted they all were.

When the driver stopped them in front of their hotel, they had to drag their feet step by step up into their rooms, and if it weren’t for the smell of alcohol lingering on their clothes, they would have just gotten straight into bed without showering. 

The next morning, Yongsun woke up just as the sunlight began to warm up the room. Moonbyul was still deep asleep next to her, no signs of waking up anytime soon. She got up and refreshed herself, drawing the curtains so it didn’t disturb Moonbyul, and let some water boil so it would be cool enough by the time she woke up. There was a text message waiting for her when she was done, Wheein asking if she could come over to show her something. So she took her phone and went over instead, knocking on her manager’s door.

“Byulyi is still asleep, so we’ll talk here instead.” Wheein looked surprisingly normal and alive when she answered the door, for someone who drank that much yesterday. She pulled Yongsun into the room with an energy not consistent with that early time of the day, and Yongsun groaned as she clicked the Skype app on her tablet. She had a few seconds to pat down her bed hair and smooth out her shirt before the CEO’s face appeared on the screen.

“Yongsun! Congratulations on the award!”  _ It was 9am in Seoul timing, how is everyone so damn awake. _

“Thank you, CEO-nim. It’s thanks to everyone’s hard work and support too.” 

“Girls, I’m happy to let you know that the company has received several emails from the list of directors and producers you specified interest to work with. Your hard work has surely paid off. Wheein, you’ve gotten some replies as well right? Please share them with me ASAP.” Now, Yongsun understood how the two of them could be so chipper in the morning. This news was big.

“This is just an exchange of contacts so far, there’s no offer for you to join any projects yet, but at least the bridge has been made, and you’re now one of their considerations for their roles.” Wheein added, showing Yongsun on her phone the page of emails she had received. 

They chatted with the CEO for a while longer, before politely hinting that they had to hang up the call. As soon as the call disconnected, the girls let a beat of silence ring out before squealing and launching themselves into each other’s arms. This was yet another milestone in their journey, some of the names that were on their vision board when they were still young students dreaming of the impossible, were now contacts in Wheein’s inbox. 

“I couldn’t have done anything without you, Wheein-ah.” Yongsun said, poking Wheein’s dimple.

“And we wouldn’t have been here if you aren’t a massive ball of talent.” Wheein said, the pride and adoration for her friend clear in her voice.

They sat there, reading out the emails and cheering to themselves every time it was someone they had really wanted. Then, there was a sharp, muffled cry sounding out through the walls of their room. Their heads whipped up at the sound, giving each other one short puzzled look before springing onto their feet.

“That’s Byulyi-unnie, isn’t it?” 

“I think so.”

They ran out to the adjacent room together, Yongsun struggling to get her keycard out of her pocket in her panic.

“Byulyi?” She opened the door gingerly and peeked in, keeping her volume low. The duvet was halfway thrown off the bed, one corner of it hanging onto the carpeted ground, but there was no one on that bed. The bathroom door was wide open as she had left it, empty and unlit. The sleeping girl was nowhere in sight.

Yongsun felt her heartbeat picking up speed against her ribs, as she inched further in the room. It was then she made out the brown of Moonbyul’s hair against the grey blackout curtains, the rest of her hidden out of view behind the large bed. She ran in immediately, Wheein following close behind. 

Moonbyul was crouched in the furthest corner of the room possible, back plastered up against the wooden nightstand with her knees drawn up to her chest. Her face was buried in her hands, but when she heard Yongsun’s footsteps near her, she revealed her tear streaked cheeks, the distress so palpable in her eyes that it almost made Yongsun cower away.

Moonbyul reached her trembling hands out, lips quivering uncontrollably as they tried to form a soft plea. Yongsun didn’t need to be asked twice, dropping to her knees in front of her and bringing her into the most comforting embrace she could offer. 

“Nightmare?” The nod was almost imperceptible, but it was there. Yongsun turned her head without letting Moonbyul go, giving Wheein a look that conveyed her message.  _ Go, I need to be alone with her. _

The door clicked close again, leaving the two of them in a room so silent you can hear every hiccup in Moonbyul’s stuttering breath. Yongsun waited without a word, until her girlfriend’s breaths slowed to sync with her own heartbeat. She pulled away a little, the cracks in her heart growing when she felt Moonbyul tug at her shirt even tighter, not wanting to let go. Still, she had to do this.

Yongsun rearranged them more comfortably against the soft side of the bed, Moonbyul’s face nuzzled into her neck as she held her, stroking her head as gently as she could. There were tears on her own face now mirroring Moonbyul’s, the weight of the girl’s troubles so heavy on her shoulders it was impossible to hold back.

“If you’re ready to, I really want to know how I can help you.” She whispered softly into the top of her head. 

There was a long quiet sigh, and Yongsun knew that she was gathering her courage for this. 

“I think only I can help myself, but I’m telling you this regardless.” Moonbyul turned her head so that it was properly leaning on Yongsun’s shoulder, taking deep, hopeful breaths to see herself through it. “Remember when I said that my last client was a politician? That was a year ago now. He was a high-ranking official, not Korean, and he had a lot of enemies on his tail. He was a good guy though, just that the policies he advocated for were in conflict with a lot of the gangs’ interests. When I got assigned to him, my academy gave me a partner and a backup team we could call upon anytime, simply because of how high-risk this client was.”

Moonbyul closed her eyes, and let the rest of the story play itself out.

_ One moment they were driving along the busy foreign roads, the next moment there was a deafening crash, their bodies sent forward by the sheer force of it. The car wasn’t totalled; it shouldn’t be, this car was built to withstand a lot more than a low-speed crash. Moonbyul was on the highest alert immediately, one hand wrapped around her gun and the other on her client’s arm. She looked over to see Sujeong do the exact same, and wordlessly, they launched into one of their carefully mapped out extrication strategies. _

_ They made the client duck below the seats as they took out any armed men they could see on the road, which now looked more like a battlefield with stopped cars strewn about, the rest of the civilians having fled the scene as soon as the first gunshot rang out.  _

_ More and more assassins popped out of the vehicles, each armed with assault rifles. They were outnumbered, at least twenty to one. As the armed men inched closer to their car, Moonbyul counted down the seconds in her head. It’s now anyone’s game. Either their backup team arrived within the next five seconds, or it would just take one round of shots to break through the bulletproof glass and a few more successive shots to kill them all. _

_ Two seconds. She stopped counting at two seconds, when all hell broke loose outside the door. She stole a peek at her team jumping out of the vehicle, taking down the assassins closest to them. Moonbyul knew it was their cue, and Sujeong initiated the plan, opening the door on her side, directing their client to follow Moonbyul. _

_ Moonbyul grabbed the politician by both his arms, and together with Sujeong, formed a human shield around him, moving quickly but steadily to the backup team’s vehicle as a unit. Moonbyul led them across the four lanes of the road, while Sujeong kept their backs well-guarded. _

_ They dove onto the ground when another round of gunfire started above their heads. Moonbyul watched as Sujeong gunned down more people than she ever had in her career, until one final shot and the next one rang out empty. The man Sujeong was aiming at retaliated, but the bullet wasn’t aimed at her. Moonbyul was in his way of a direct headshot at their main target, the politician single handedly responsible for the downfall of their gang.  _

_ She saw the gunman fall when her teammate shot him, but it was a second too late. There was a flare of pain in her shoulder, the blood splattering out onto the asphalt below. The shout that came wasn’t hers, but Sujeong’s, as the guard stared wide-eyed at her bullet wound.  _

_ “I’m fine, let’s move.” Moonbyul ordered. They didn’t have time for distractions. The wound wasn’t fatal, but it would be if they continued staying in the middle of the road like exposed bait. They had to make a run for it, and trust in their team to cover them.  _

_ “Get him out of here!” She heard Sujeong yell out at their juniors, as they reached the other side and thrusted the client into the safety of the vehicle. There were only a few assassins left on the road, and all they had to do was take them out as half their team escaped with the assasination target while half had stayed to help. _

_ Easy, it was what they had been trained to do as easily as breathing, taking aim at the next target before the previous one even fell, and removing the last of the threats they could see. Sujeong was on her in a second, tearing off the bottom of her own jacket and wrapping them in a suffocating bind around Moonbyul’s bleeding shoulder. _

_ “It didn’t hit anything, don’t worry.” Moonbyul tried to ease the overwhelming worry on Sujeong’s face, but she wasn’t lying about it either, assessing herself and deciding that she was still mobile and clearly not dead yet. _

_ “It’s my fault, shouldn’t have let my bullets run out.” _

_ “Hey, hey, hey, it’s not your fault, it happens, okay?”  _

_ “Yeah, but I-” _

_ “Moonbyul watch out!” Their teammate’s voice boomed through the air. _

_ There wasn’t time to breathe, to think, to react, to anything. One second Sujeong was by her side, tending to her wound, and two gunshots later, there were two loud thuds that followed.  _

_ No. _

_ Sujeong had pushed her out of the way, jumping in front of the bullet meant for her.  _

_ It was the moment half of Moonbyul’s soul ripped irreparably in half, watching as Sujeong’s life dripped through her fingers, her last, incomplete utter of an ‘I love you’, before Moonbyul’s own pain blanketed her consciousness in darkness. _

It was as if the scene happened in front of her all over again as she retold the story, the only thing grounding her being  _ yongsun yongsun yongsun  _ all around her. 

Yongsun couldn’t speak a word if she tried, the actual story she was listening to was so much worse than she thought it would be. Everything was terrifying enough in her head, and to think that the shaking girl in her arms actually went through all that, in real life. It was heartbreaking in every way possible. 

She held her tighter in her embrace, praying to take away Moonbyul’s pain, wishing that she had been there to protect her from it all. Moonbyul was still sobbing into the crook of her neck, whimpering something inaudible under her breath. Yongsun leaned down more, trying to hear exactly what she was saying, before the words suddenly made sense to her.

“It had been you. They shot you, Yong.” 

Yongsun couldn’t hold back anymore, letting her tears rush down her face in a loud sob, rocking them both back and forth as Moonbyul cried herself to sleep in her arms. The litany of those words faded on her lips as she fell asleep, but those words resonated with Yongsun. 

It had been her that Moonbyul dreamt of, in Sujeong’s place. It was the image of her dying that had Moonbyul looking more scared than Yongsun had ever seen her, and her that was haunting Moonbyul’s sleep.

She collected herself, rising onto her haunches when Moonbyul’s breathing evened out. She took the sleeping girls in her arms, carrying her onto the bed before carefully laying herself down behind her. Her arms wound themselves around the other’s waist, breaths falling on the back of her neck. 

At least this way, if the same nightmares plagued her as she woke, she would feel the breath of life on her skin, and safety in the arms of someone who from then on vowed to protect her from any pain or hurt that dared come their way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I promise you nothing but fluff next chapter :')


	15. chapter fifteen

When Yongsun’s eyes opened again, Moonbyul was still safely tucked in her arms. She could see the clock on the bedside table reading twelve noon, and could already feel the grumble of her stomach protesting at its emptiness. 

Although Moonbyul wasn’t facing her, Yongsun could feel the rise and fall of her stomach with her breaths, and knew that the girl was awake.

“Feeling better?” Her voice was soft next to Moonbyul’s ear. She felt a small nod, before nudging her to turn around. Now that they were just centimeters apart, she could see every twitch in Moonbyul’s face, the way her smile slowly reached her eyes.

“Don’t you dare.” Yongsun said, when she saw the apology forming on Moonbyul’s lips. “I will really get mad at you if you say it.”

“I just wanted to explain.” Moonbyul pouted, shoving jokingly at her girlfriend’s shoulder. “Need to tell you this.”

She took a long inhale, more to stall time for herself than anything. 

“I was seeing a department-mandated therapist after all that happened. A monthly thing I did, but it kinda helped a little. The nightmares were less intense, and the therapist made me actually talk things out instead of repressing the hell out of it like I always do.” 

Yongsun heard an unspoken ‘but’, raising her brows to encourage her to continue.

“But then when I thought I’d moved on, it all came back.” 

“It’s because of me, isn’t it?” Yongsun asked, recalling Hyejin’s reaction when she asked her about Moonbyul’s nightmares the first time. 

“It’s not because of you, silly.”  _ Is it not?  _ “Maybe a little. But the nightmares started back up when I realised I liked you, and started caring for you. Maybe I’m more than a little afraid of the same thing happening again.”

Yongsun could tell from how Moonbyul was physically unravelling the words from her heart, baring her soul in a way she hadn’t done before, that this was her choosing to be vulnerable in front of someone she trusted irrevocably. So naturally she knew how important it was to hold those words carefully in her hands, and give back just as much gentleness as the moment needed.

“There’s nothing to be afraid of, and even if there is, I’m not scared. I feel the safest when I’m with you. Even at the start, when we weren’t on the best terms, I still looked to you to feel safe. And not just because you’re my bodyguard.”

Moonbyul let the words bounce around in her head. She’d gone through therapy before, she’d heard what the therapist had to say, tried internalising a lot of it. But there were still bad thoughts that nagged away at her, regardless how much she tried to change her mind on it. Now that she’d heard Yongsun’s iteration of those words, she felt that maybe it would finally stick.

“Can I see it?” Yongsun asked, after a bit of comfortable silence passed between them.

“Huh?” 

“You said the bullet hit your shoulder.” 

_ Oh.  _ Moonbyul didn’t think of the scar as anything more than a reminder of how painful it could be to lose someone, but when Yongsun helped her shrug her shirt off her shoulder and laid her lips on the scarred skin, her breath caught in her throat. 

Her kiss was almost reverent, like a sombre acknowledgement of the baggage that Moonbyul carried with her, and selflessly accepting every bit of it nonetheless. 

“Does it still hurt?” She asked, her fingers lightly tracing the bottom of the round scar. Moonbyul shook her head, eyes still trained on the lips that were just on her shoulder.

“My academy made me go for some physical therapy to make sure my arm wouldn’t go useless or anything, so no it doesn’t hurt anymore.” She paused, before continuing with a sly smile. “If it hurts you could always kiss it better.” 

“I know you just cried and bared your soul to me and all but that doesn’t mean I would hold myself back from hitting you, Byul-ah.” She meant to sound tough, but the loud rumble that sounded out from her stomach greatly undercut her sternness and flipped the softness of the moment on its head.

“It will just be like a fly hitting my hand with your stomach this empty.” 

Yongsun proved her wrong, as always, the merciless smack on her arm enough to erase any residual grogginess from her system. They looked ridiculous, sitting on the bed bickering and exchanging whacks, one side of Moonbyul’s pyjama shirt collar still shrugged off her shoulder.

They quickly settled down again when Wheein’s text came in, signalling that it probably was time to get started with the day properly. 

“We can go buy some food from somewhere nearby and eat here if you want, or even just go to the restaurant downstairs.” Yongsun suggested, not sure how alright her girlfriend was with going out and about after all that had happened earlier, despite seeming fine.

“I’m okay, Yong. Besides, I have a few places I want to bring you to.” She found it sweet that Yongsun was sensitive enough to think about her like that, but she badly wanted to re-explore the city she used to love.

They started to get ready quickly, after using the hotel phone to call Wheein and let her know of their plans. 

“What if I wear your clothes today?” Yongsun asked abruptly when she stepped out of the shower. Moonbyul took her head out from the minifridge she was raiding.

“What?”

“So I don’t get recognised. I can wear your usual uniform - shirt, slacks, blazer, hat. No one will recognise me.” 

_ And why the hell did we never think of that before?  _ Yongsun thought. She always wore the same casual look, comfortable dresses, or a cute top and skinny jeans, but never the ensemble that was Moonbyul’s usual outfit. The guard seemed to be thinking the same thing, immediately digging around her luggage and piecing an outfit together for her. 

The blazer that was chosen had three white stripes across the arm for some reason, and the same goes for the matching pants. Moonbyul picked out a dress shirt for her too, but she opted for a white band tee instead. 

“Wait. Thom Browne? Is this genuine Thom Browne?” Yongsun caught sight of the label as Moonbyul helped her put on the jacket, instantly connecting the dots between the stripes and the name on the tag.

“Of course it’s genuine.” She replied, matter-of-factly.

“One of these pieces retails for hundreds of thousands of won, right?” Now that she noticed it, she suddenly realised the shoes her girlfriend was wearing were also from that brand. “This, and the car… Moon Byulyi, are you secretly a millionaire?”

“I’m not that rich, I’m just comfortable enough to splurge on these once in a while.” Moonbyul answered her with an air of nonchalance, arranging the pockets neatly. “I’m already your girlfriend, but if you’re looking for a sugar mummy, hit me up.” 

“I will actually hit you.” Except she couldn’t, because Moonbyul was already anticipating the attack, zipping out of her way and escaping into the bathroom. 

It took another ten minutes before they were finally ready to go, waiting for their doorbell to ring. When it did a minute later, Moonbyul opened the door to Wheein’s tight embrace. Yongsun told her that Wheein had been in the room earlier when it happened, so it explained the hug, and why Wheein looked so relieved to see her.

“You don’t have to tell me anything, but I’m glad you’re okay now, unnie.” The words were comforting to hear, despite her need to explain herself to Wheein for some reason. Instead, she just let herself sink into the hug a little more, appreciative of the younger girl’s support.

Yongsun and Wheein followed along as Moonbyul brought them to the restaurant by the Huangpu river in a cab, a trip that was successfully uneventful because of how genuinely unrecognisable Yongsun was in her new look. Moonbyul was relentless in her teasing, but when Wheein joined in too, the oldest girl truly wondered what she ever did wrong in her past life to deserve this duo. 

They didn’t take the smooth sailing trip for granted, choosing a relatively private booth in the restaurant, one that had dividers on both sides but an unobstructed view of the river on the other. The blossoming trees outside the restaurant arched inwards, framing the city skyline perfectly. 

When the waiter arrived with their tea and menus, Moonbyul pointed out all the dishes they should try. It was the most excited Yongsun had ever seen Moonbyul been over any food besides kimchi, so she was happy to just go along with everything Moonbyul wanted. 

Moonbyul rattled off their order to the waiter, who jotted down everything quietly. When she turned back to the other two, their shocked faces greeted her. 

“What.” She snapped, immediately self-conscious.

“If you’re fluent in Chinese why didn’t you speak to our taxi driver in Mandarin?” Wheein questioned her.

“I’m not fluent, I only retained a bit of the language. It's been years since I worked here.” 

“So this menu is basically all the Chinese you know?” 

“If you want to put it that way, yes, Wheein-ah, all the Chinese words I know can probably be found in this menu.” She retorted, putting aside the menu in question.

“How long did you work here for?” It was Yongsun’s turn to ask her, to which she answered with the whole story about her Shanghainese diplomat client, and watched as realisation and confusion dawned on Yongsun and Wheein’s faces respectively when she brought up a certain club back in Seoul. 

“Anyways, I spent long enough here to be qualified to show you two around here. There’s the other side of this river that’s really scenic, the main shopping streets that I hang out at a lot, and so many other places I want to show you.”

“You two go ahead, I can’t join you.” Wheein said, just as the food arrived.

“Why not? Do you need to attend to something? Did CEO-nim arrange anything?” Yongsun asked in a panic, hoping that Wheein said no, because she was really looking forward to not having any other scheduled work the rest of the trip. 

“No, it’s a personal thing.” 

“What kind of personal thing?” Yongsun continued pressing her, an eyebrow raised when she saw the way Wheein was trying to dodge the question.

“A friend asked me to buy some special brand of alcohol, I gotta go hunting for it.” Wheein revealed with a huff, sensing her two friends shoot each other knowing looks.

“So assuming that said friend is Ahn Hyejin, why exactly did she ask you instead of me, her loyal best friend and long-time customer?” Moonbyul asked with the most obvious insinuating tone she could muster, a smirk forming on her face. 

She felt Wheein kick her under the table, and giggled out loud at that. Yongsun was trying to hold back her own comments when Wheein’s blush turned even more obvious.

“Maybe because I was skyping her this morning so it was just convenient for her to ask me.”  _ Fuck. _ She was this close to digging herself out of the hole, before realising what she just said when the two older girls stopped chewing the food in their mouths to throw excited glances at each other.

She leaned on her hand and stared resignedly at them as they continued communicating silently with their raising brows and squinting eyes, food forgotten in the pockets of their cheeks. 

“So, about you and Hyejin… what are you two- Ow!” Yongsun exclaimed, and from the way she jumped, Wheein knew that Moonbyul kicked her pretty hard under the table. She just sighed as she watched them continue their silent back and forth, feeling like a child waiting for her parents to be done arguing.

“What I mean is, are you and Hyejin officially together?” Yongsun cleared her throat and tried again, glaring at her girlfriend as she spoke. 

“Nope.” Wheein replied without a single beat of hesitation, lazily picking apart the fish meat in her bowl. She was utterly unprepared for this conversation, because frankly, she didn’t know where they stood too, but knew for a fact that nothing was set in stone. “I’m not going to insult your intelligence and say that I’m not interested in her, it’s just that we didn’t put any labels or even discussed this, so I don’t know what to tell you.”

“Wheein-ah, if I know Hyejin at all, she’s waiting for you to make the move. She’s probably scared of reading the wrong signals, so she doesn’t want to say anything, but trust me, she would want more too.” Moonbyul took pity on her, when she saw a hint of sadness lace her usually dimpled cheeks.

“Yeah, and the Wheein I know is never scared of making the first move, so why now?” Yongsun added, watching her friend’s face closely. Wheein didn’t know how to answer this while looking either of them in the eye, so she didn’t, turning to focus on the flowing waters of the river instead.

“Because I like her a bit too much to risk ruining everything.” She could feel them sending each other looks again, so she just let them, eating her food silently and watching the drifting currents.

“You two were really great at giving us advice before we got together, it’s time you heed your own words for yourselves.” Yongsun said, and Wheein nodded in acknowledgement, sending a hint that she wanted the conversation to end there. It wasn’t that she didn’t appreciate their concern, but she needed to work through her own thoughts before letting anyone else’s in too.

Moonbyul sensed that, and inwardly, she reminded herself to have a good long chat with her best friend when she got back, but otherwise dropped the topic, shifting their conversation to raining praises on the food on the table.

The tense atmosphere between the three of them vanished at their will as soon as they dug back into their food, and they took their time eating and talking about everything else. When they were done, they decided on playing the noisiest game of rock paper scissors ever, to choose who to pay for the meal, only realising how much attention they were attracting when a waiter popped his head into their booth with a concerned expression on his face that almost made Wheein dissolve into another uncontrollable fit of giggles. 

Yongsun had to pull out her credit card, yet again bemoaning her choice of company after her girlfriend and bestfriend teamed up to bully her into losing the game. They left the restaurant, full and sated in both their bellies and chest.

Moonbyul and Yongsun sent Wheein off in a taxi to hunt down Hyejin’s alcohol requests, not without nagging at her to check in with them regularly to let them know she was safe. 

“Where are you taking me to first, Tour Guide-nim?” Yongsun turned to Moonbyul when the taxi was no longer in sight. Moonbyul could see her enthusiastic grin even with the mask and hat combo concealing most of her face, and she couldn’t resist tapping her on the uncovered part of her nose.

“Just trust me and follow me, they are all places you will love.” 

“I don’t doubt that.” 

They set off to their first destination, the closest one on Moonbyul’s itinerary. It was the shopping street, and it took a leap of faith to hold hands throughout their strolls along the sidewalk, weaving in and out of shops everytime something caught either of their eyes. 

Very soon, with how well their disguises worked, it was easy to forget who they were and what rules they imposed on their own relationship, feeling like a normal couple out on a shopping trip. It was the most relaxed they ever were in public, so uninhibited and carefree that Yongsun had to remind herself not to get too attached to this feeling of freedom.

Moonbyul whisked them from place to place, attraction to attraction, all around Shanghai, occasionally stopping for street food and desserts along the way. Everything felt so surreal, almost like they were just teenagers, in love, with the world as their oyster. They bought each other gifts, an ornate jewelry box that Moonbyul caught Yongsun staring longingly at, and a stuffed hamster plush toy that Yongsun insisted was made with Moonbyul’s face as the muse. 

Throughout it all, they tried their best to give themselves time off the busy streets and away from the crowds of tourists, retreating to quieter sidewalks and corners to continue their conversations about everything they could think of. By dusk, they had found themselves in the peaceful alleys of a township Moonbyul said was a best-kept secret dating spot for the locals. It was pretty romantic, just stretches and stretches of stoned paths with old brick houses and shops lining either side. There were hardly any tourists around, just the few locals and freelance photographers. 

Yongsun took her time to explore the place, letting her eyes run along the ancient architecture of the shophouses, admiring the way everything looked frozen in time, from the decorations to the straw hats and wooden household items that were on display in the shops. She heard the familiar click of a camera, spinning around in alarm only to find Moonbyul with the camera that was hanging around her neck now in her hands.

“Wait no, turn back, pretend you don’t know I’m taking pictures.” Yongsun snorted, but did as told, reflexively moving into the angles as she would in her usual photoshoots. She ran back to see the pictures when Moonbyul was done, pouting petulantly when the other girl held the camera out of her reach.

“You’ll see it when I put them all together nicely.” Moonbyul explained, reviewing the pictures but covering the sides of the screen just so Yongsun couldn’t take a peek.

They strolled together to the end of the alley, their joined hands swinging between them. The alley opened itself to the view of the waterways, and since it was creeping into the evening, the shops and restaurants along the banks had lit up their red, decorative lantern lighting, creating a dazzling reflection on the water. 

Moonbyul’s heart was full and heavy, as her mind wandered back to the last time she saw the familiar view. It was back when Sujeong flew out to Shanghai just to see her before her new assignment started, and they stood on the banks of a similar waterway, bading their goodbyes as they parted ways for their respective jobs. 

Shanghai was a place that held so many memories for the both of them, and even though Moonbyul had moved on and put that bit of the past behind her, it couldn’t stop the memories from coming back to her as she took in the sights of the city all over again. 

Those memories tasted bitter on her tongue, every bit of it just reminders of things she had vowed to bury away. But then Yongsun stepped into the picture. She had spent the whole day rewriting all those memories with Yongsun, putting colour back into the places that she had not so long ago associated with pain and grief. Now, all she thought of was Yongsun’s giggles as the melted candy they bought from the stall on the old streets dripped out of her mouth, and Yongsun’s beaming face when she gave her her gift, and Yongsun’s eyes lighting up every time she learnt about the history of a building, or the meaning behind those calligraphic signboards. It was all Yongsun, when she thought back on all those places now. 

It was also all Yongsun, when she touched the part of her shoulder through which her scar laid, underneath all the layers of her clothes, the feeling of her lips on her skin still not lost on her. 

She filled her lungs deeply, and leaned against the cooling marble parapet, resting her eyes on the green of the faraway mountains as she let her mind wander.

For Yongsun, as cheesy as it was, the scenery was right in front of her. Moon Byulyi, with her hair gently flying in the cooling breeze, eyes cast in the distance, hugging the stuffed toy safely to her chest. The sun was setting behind her, casting a warm glow of a halo above her brown hair, and a soft shadow of her lashes on her cheeks. This time, Yongsun let herself unabashedly stare, committing the image before her to memory. 

For her, the trip today was like an exhale of a breath she had been holding onto for as long as she could remember. The last time she had such an amazing time just roaming the streets, taking unguarded footsteps around the city, was so long ago that the images of those memories in her mind were fuzzied and blurred. And the way Moonbyul made her feel as she held her hand and led her everywhere was something she had never felt before, the feeling warm and explosive in her chest. 

The feeling got clearer and clearer however, the longer she spent replaying the whole day in her head as she admired the view of her girlfriend. It was the way Moonbyul’s hand in hers felt so right and so sure, the way she nervously revealed the jewelry box from the gift bag after Yongsun left longing looks on it, the way she whisked her from place to place with unbridled hope that Yongsun would fall in love with Shanghai the way she did. 

And Yongsun did, but it wasn’t just the scenic views that caught her breaths, or the bright city lights that drew her in like a moth to a flame, but it was Moonbyul framed in all those shots that made Yongsun fall in love with Shanghai.

Before she could stop herself, her hand moulded the curves of the other girl’s cheek, and their eyes met.  _ There are constellations in your eyes,  _ Yongsun noted silently to herself, but her thoughts were louder than she had meant for them to be. 

The softest of a smile graced Moonbyul’s lips, and that was the moment the words tumbled out of Yongsun’s mouth like a single raindrop parting itself from a cloud.

“Byul-ah, I love you.”

It was breathtaking, watching as a whole range of emotions slowly take over her face. She watched intently, as Moonbyul sinked her cheek even further into the cusp of her hand, her mouth parting in a silent gasp. The guard’s eyes were running wild all over her face, as if they were searching for any sign that she had misheard those three words, until they fell shut briefly. When she opened them again, they were shining with tears, the lights of the city now reflected back in those orbs.

Yongsun let out a chuckle of disbelief when she saw the tears forming, at a loss for words herself and reeling at the significance of the moment. She chanced a step closer, stealing a peek at their surroundings before deeming it safe enough to land a kiss on Moonbyul’s still-parted lips. 

They ended up at that riverbank for another hour, basking in the warmth of each other’s arms and company, until the sky was the darkest that it could be and it was only the two of them for as far as they could see. Yongsun didn’t hear the same three words back from Moonbyul, but knew that she would in her own time. She was happy regardless, wanting that moment to just be a precious memory for Moonbyul, for the girl who deserved so much to hear how loved she was. 

From there, it was a quiet and awfully romantic stroll back to the hotel, that was just in sight across the stone bridge a short distance away. Yongsun wanted to pinch herself sometimes, she thought, as she gazed at the girl matching her footfall alongside her. That was her first declaration of love in all her years of life, and it happened to be set against the backdrop of the setting sun, with the most picturesque view of the gently flowing waters, ancient stone bridges and riverside flowers in full bloom. Her life felt like a scene out of all the dramas she’d filmed in her career, except it was really playing out before her eyes, and the feeling it filled her with could never compare to anything that the writers could ever dream up.

That night, after checking in on Wheein with her haul of souvenirs and alcohol, Moonbyul filled their room with soft music and quiet humming as she would every morning while preparing breakfast at Yongsun’s, as they got ready for bed. Tucked under the comforter and without an inch of space separating them, Moonbyul rolled Yongsun over, draping her arms over Yongsun’s belly and wrapping her legs around her thighs, nuzzling her face into the crook of the older girl’s neck. 

She pressed a firm kiss onto her warm skin, and with it, the words Yongsun had been dying to hear all evening.

“I love you too, Yong.” 

They both fell asleep with dried tracks of happy tears on their faces and imprints of a smile on their lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! there's a new update schedule since my work's been picking back up (i'm in healthcare). i will be updating this fic on wednesdays and sundays now!! while waiting for new chapters, go support tf out of the rainxmmm collab, and give my other fic a chance too :')


	16. chapter sixteen

They had their fill of all the things Shanghai had to offer, Moonbyul being the best guide and guard they could ask for as they enjoyed the city to its fullest. They waved goodbye out of their plane windows like children waving at parents from their school buses, with a promise to return as soon as their schedules allowed it. 

With their luck, it was not going to be soon. Moonbyul clung onto Yongsun’s arm the whole plane ride back, and Yongsun let her, enjoying the last bit of this freedom before jumping back into reality. As soon as the plane touched down in Seoul, they stepped back into their roles again, the bodyguard, A-list celebrity and manager, and breezed through the routines of getting through the crowds and greeting their homes again.

It took hearing the CEO’s voice welcoming them back through the phone, did reality really hit Moonbyul. The night before their flight to Shanghai came back to the forefront of her mind, and she recalled what she had to do.

She had tried to devise several ways to pop the question to Yongsun, to ask her to move in temporarily with her, but could not think of a single way to do it without all the possible follow-up questions that would no doubt reveal what was really happening.

Somehow, it happened naturally, the night they landed back in Seoul was also when Yongsun lethargically requested to sleep over at Moonbyul’s for the night, but never bothering to go back to her own home for the several nights to follow. 

When Wheein showed up one evening at her house with the bags of souvenirs and a nervous pout on her face, Moonbyul knew exactly what she was going to ask. She left Yongsun at home, reminding her to call if she wanted to leave the house, before dragging Wheein along with her to Hyejin’s bar.

“Remember, that girl in there is  _ whipped _ for you. Rejection is the last thing that you have to be scared of, okay?” She took Wheein by the shoulders at the doorstep of the bar, giving her several firm pats on the back to egg her on, before taking a seat at the furthest corner in the place and watched as her two friends took their conversation from the bar counter to the room behind the velvet curtains.

A few days ago, she had already had that conversation with Hyejin. It was 1am, and the bar was being run by Hyejin’s employees as their boss took a break to greet her best friend with a warm hug. 

Moonbyul told Hyejin about the trip, about Yongsun now knowing of the nightmares and Sujeong.

_ “She asked me before about this, you know? I think that was after the first time she saw it happen, and I told her it was up to you if you wanted to tell her about it. She cared a lot back then too. I could tell it wasn’t just nosiness or simple curiosity, but really unnie, she did care a lot about you even before everything happened too. I’m glad you got to tell her about it.” _

She told Hyejin about that night at the waterway, about saying  _ i love you _ again for the first time after Sujeong’s death, and how it solidified for her that she had truly moved on. She laughed at Hyejin when the younger girl cried hearing her words, but cried along with her too when Hyejin hugged her tightly and told her how much she missed seeing Moonbyul this happy. 

Then, she turned the conversation on its head, making Hyejin groan as she lectured her about trusting herself and heeding her own advice when it came to a particular dimpled-cheek girl. 

_ “So when she eventually comes over and makes the first move don’t you dare chicken out of it just because you think you’re not good enough for her or some stupid reason you know I will smack you for.”  _

She watched, sipping on her soda, as the two of them emerged again from the curtains, shy smiles on both their faces and trapped in their own happy little bubble of bliss. She gave them exactly another half hour to bask in their newfound relationship, before skipping over, drink in hand, and slung both arms around their shoulders to congratulate them.

* * *

Yongsun’s schedule for the next few weeks piled up, as the company replied to more and more emails exchanging contacts with casting directors and executive producers. 

For a week straight, they had a rigorous outdoor filming schedule set out for them, for a short film that Yongsun burned the midnight oil preparing. For the first few days, Moonbyul would set out on her normal routine after work days, sending Yongsun home to her house early to turn in for the night before heading out to Hyejin’s bar with Wheein, but after the first few nights when she came home to Yongsun slumped over her coffee table with the script sprawled out all over and weighed down with her coffee mug, Moonbyul decided to skip the bar, spending the evening accompanying Yongsun instead as she studied her materials.

She liked watching Yongsun at work, and particularly how she could see her make her acting choices as she read the lines to herself, turning the papers colorful with inky annotations and highlighter marks. She would see it all translate into her actual acting on set, realising that this hardworking and dedicated side of her was incredibly attractive to her, now that she really got to see how much effort Yongsun put into her roles. 

Nobody questioned them when Moonbyul informed Jungsu of the new transport arrangements, her newly in-charge of ferrying Yongsun to and from the venues, and Jungsu only needing to pick Wheein up. It became a new normal, the CEO barely batting an eyelid when Yongsun told him to send his secretary to Moonbyul’s address instead of her own to have her sign a few documents. 

When filming wrapped for that project, Yongsun finally had a few days of reprieve, with nothing on her calendar as far as she was concerned. She told Wheein that she was finally going to catch up on all the hours of sleep she had lost to overtime filming and her own script studying sessions, and Wheein understood, turning down unimportant activities for her when they popped up.

She woke up one morning, smelling yet again a freshly cooked table of breakfast, and was greeted with the sight of her girlfriend in the frilly pink apron they bought in Shanghai, wielding a long wooden spoon in her hand like a weapon. 

“Why do you look like that?” Moonbyul asked, her relaxed smile turning into a frown immediately when their eyes met. Yongsun sat down at the dining table, shoulders hunched over a little more than usual.

“Like what?”

“Like death. Are you okay?” Moonbyul closed in on her, wrapping her hand on her forehead to feel for the temperature and Yongsun immediately nuzzled into her side.

“Just really tired from the non-stop filming I guess.”

“You aren’t having a fever.” Moonbyul informed her, before digging the spoon into the pot of porridge on the table and scooping a small amount into the bowl in front of her. “Here, eat up, and then I’m going to tuck you back into bed.” 

Yongsun’s heart bloomed at the steaming bowl in her hands and the soft kiss that was placed on her head, tugging at Moonbyul’s hand wordlessly to get her to sit and eat too. 

The younger girl obliged, untying the apron and tossing it carelessly into the laundry basket before taking the seat next to her, putting a portion of congee into her own bowl. She watched as Yongsun gulped down the food with more effort than it usually took her, the bags under her eyes prominent in the morning light. Her chest ached a little, knowing how taxing the week had been for her, and how sparse her hours of rest was. 

After the meal, they left the dishes in the sink, retreating to the room and shutting the heavy blackout curtains to cut out the sunlight, and Moonbyul did as she promised, tucking Yongsun into bed. She relented when Yongsun shamelessly pouted her way into getting her girlfriend to lay down behind her, and they both fell asleep within minutes.

When Moonbyul woke up again, she could hear the light snoring coming from the sleeping girl beside her. She untangled her limbs from her, rolling out of the bed as lightly as she could to not wake Yongsun up. It was almost lunchtime, and she had an idea of a ginseng soup she wanted to cook for Yongsun that would make her feel better.

She got dressed, and locked the doors silently behind her as she started the short hike up the street for the ingredients. 

_ ‘Eaten lunch yet?’  _ She texted Hyejin when she left the crowded supermarket, bags of groceries in hand.

_ ‘Nope, neither has Wheein :D’  _ The reply came, and she rolled her eyes, but still stopped by the restaurant nearby regardless, buying a bucket of fried chicken and wrestling with it and the rest of her bags. When she reached the bar, the midday crowd was already there. She spotted her friends at their usual place by the counter, Wheein tapping away on her work tablet while Hyejin prepared a few drink orders.

Moonbyul hovered the bucket under both their noses, the fragrance immediately piquing their attention, and left the food on the table in the backroom before unceremoniously announcing that she had to go prepare soup for her sick girlfriend. She heard Hyejin and Wheein shouted their thanks before practically running into the room, an endeared smile finding its way onto Moonbyul’s face as she left the bar and headed home.

* * *

Yongsun was rudely woken from her sleep, head throbbing like she was hungover even though she didn’t have a single drop of alcohol. Something woke her up, but it took a second for the haze to clear from head before she realised what it was.

She tossed the thick blankets aside, yelling for Moonbyul but piecing it together that she was out for food when there was no reply. She used the walls to steady herself as she stood up, and hurried to answer the doorbell. 

“Parcel delivery!” A young man chirped at her when she cracked open the wooden door just a little. 

“Hi,” she greeted. Moonbyul didn’t tell her of deliveries she was expecting, nor did it make sense for this delivery to be their lunch. “Can I see the label please?”

“Parcel for Kim Yongsun-ssi.” The man read out the label on the box, as he handed it to her.

Yongsun halted, not accepting the box into her hold. This was Moonbyul’s residence, her address and unit number written clearly on the label, so why was it addressed to her? Even if her girlfriend wanted to buy something for her, why would she ever use her real name? Moonbyul should know better, their food delivery app addressed to a certain ‘Park Mi Cha’. Something was amiss.

“I don’t remember what I ordered, what company is this for?” Yongsun feigned ignorance and tested him, hoping to get the delivery man to reveal something.

“We’re just a courier company, so I do not know, maam.”

“What company will that be? May I see a receipt?” She pressed on, noting how he was stuttering and not meeting her eyes. He had a strange look on his face, though, one that made her feel more than a little uncomfortable. 

“Just a local courier company.” He looked like he was thinking of what to say, his grip on the parcel tightening as he tried to make her take it. “Why don’t you open the gift to check?”

“Gift?” Her tone was menacing now, as she quickly understood that he was not who he claimed to be. “One last chance, which company do you work for, or are you even a delivery man? My bodyguard is in the house, all it takes is one shout and you are done for.”

She knew Moonbyul wasn’t home, but it was satisfying to see him pale at that threat. One second she was glaring at him in challenge, and the next, the box in his hands was tossed past her and into the house, dropping in the middle of the living room with a loud thud. 

Yongsun held her breath as she backed away from the box on the floor for a second, exhaling when it didn’t explode like she feared it would. She had no time to panic. The man was running away, and she could hear his urgent footfall down the staircase landing one door over.

There was an umbrella hanging on a hook nearby, so she armed herself with it, slamming the wooden door shut behind her. The staircase door that was still slowly closing was kicked open in her haste, and she followed the sound of the man’s footsteps, taking several steps at a time down. 

Her head was spinning from the adrenaline and her exhaustion, as she neared the ground floor. She saw a flash of his black shirt from the corner of her eye, running behind the wall. She raised the umbrella high over her head, rounding the corner, but he was far gone. 

She continued giving chase, her makeshift weapon firmly in her grasp by her side, looking past trees and bends trying to catch sight of him. But the lack of food in her system, the sunlight’s dizzying assault on her eyes and her already weakened self from all the cumulative lack of sleep made her feet heavier and heavier.

She felt the world spin around her, a ringing in her ear that grew louder, until her legs gave way beneath her. 

“Yong! Yong are you okay?” 

She blinked, and all of a sudden Moonbyul was hovering above her, both arms holding her up by her waist and shoulders. She couldn’t see well, with the sun shining this brightly into her eyes, but she roughly felt for the floor below her, trying to prop herself up.

“There was a man, said he’s a delivery guy, but I’m sure he’s not… ran away… couldn’t catch him.” Yongsun explained, breaths coming out in short gasps as she whipped her head around trying to locate him.

“Did you see which way he went?”

Yongsun shook her head, before clenching her eyes further shut when that movement made her head start spinning all over again. Moonbyul’s hand was in hers immediately, and she found the ground below her feet again, leaning against her girlfriend for support. Moonbyul picked up the bags that were strewn all over the ground, and slowly, they started walking up.

Yongsun was sure Moonbyul was mumbling something, but she couldn’t hear well with the ringing still deafening in her ears. When they reached the house, Moonbyul sat Yongsun by the doorstep, before cautiously approaching the box by herself and poking around it with the umbrella. 

Upon contact, it was clear the box was not carrying any explosives, but she made sure to be careful regardless, shoving it with the end of the umbrella all the way across the house to the far corner where the balcony was, before turning back for Yongsun.

Yongsun stood up on her own, helping to pick the groceries from the floor and shut the door behind her promptly, locking it and checking to make sure it was secure.

There was a moment where the two of them just stood there, stunned into silence, letting the shock of everything that just happened sink in. 

“I’m going to go check outside for anything, can you promise you will not move from the couch?” Moonbyul spoke after catching her breath, hands stuck on her waist in discomposure.

Yongsun gave a sound of acknowledgement, reminding her to be careful before watching her disappear behind the door, the sound of the lock clicking firmly in place. 

Moonbyul stepped out into the hallway of her apartment floor, heart still pounding. The image of Yongsun barely within reach, slumping slowly to the ground was still flashing up in her mind. She had dropped everything in her hands to run and catch her, and made it just in time before she hit the concrete floor. That, and now this.

A man, disguised as a delivery person, showed up to her house, where Yongsun could no doubt have been spotted walking in and out of the past few days. The thought sent chills up her spine, if a single thing had gone differently, if he had been slightly less careless, this could have ended so badly. 

She quieted her emotions as she stalked the hallways, noticing that asides from the stairwell nearer to her unit had its motion sensor lights on, the one at the far end of her floor had its lights on too. She picked up her pace, and pushed the door to the stairwell open. 

There, on the floor, was a bunch of cigarette butts and empty drink cans, the standard usual mess the residents left behind, but there was also a piece of paper, uncrumpled and undirtied. It was probably dropped quite recently. 

She picked up the paper, a red marking catching her eye. It was a torn off piece of paper from a notebook. The name of her apartment complex and block number headed the top of the paper in pencil, followed by a short list of floor numbers and unit numbers, all crossed out until it reached the tenth option, and her own unit number was written there, circled in red ink.

She didn’t realise she had held her breath until it all came out in a fear-gripped huff. Her mind was racing a mile a minute as she considered the implications of it all. This man probably followed their car, or spotted Yongsun as she entered and exited the apartment, and because Yongsun was staying with her these past weeks, it led him to her home instead. Whatever it was, if this was the same person sending those earlier threats, then this person meant every word he said. 

She held the paper out in front of her, snapping a quick photo of it and hitting send to the CEO, promising a call later on to explain further. 

When she returned to her apartment, Yongsun was seated on the couch, nesting a boxed orange juice in her hand. 

“How is it?” Yongsun perked up immediately when she heard the door opened. “Did you find anything?”

Moonbyul wasn’t sure where to start, the hand in her pocket fidgeting with the now folded up piece of paper. Instead, she sat down next to Yongsun, beginning to ask her own questions instead.

“Do you remember what that man looked like? What he was wearing and all?”

“All black, shirt, jeans, cap. His face was half-hidden by his cap and it was too dark to see properly, but I think he is in his mid-30s?” Yongsun replied, thinking hard to make sure she got the details right. Moonbyul was deathly silent next to her, an unreadable expression on her face. “Byul-ah?”

“What did he say, tell me everything.”

“Just that there was a package delivery. I thought it was yours, but then he said my name. And he couldn’t tell me the name of his company when I asked too.” Yongsun was glancing worriedly at the way the other girl was acting, eyes unfocused and hands fidgeting in her pockets. She reached up to brush the hair out of Moonbyul’s face, halting when she flinched. “Byul-ah, do you know something about this that I don’t?”

“Huh? No.” The lie slipped out of Moonbyul’s mouth, though it sounded thoroughly unconvincing even to her own ears. She saw a flash of hurt appear on Yongsun’s face, a sharp twist of her brows and it was like her guard was up again.

“Are you lying to me?”

“Yes.” 

That was far, far too easy. Moonbyul averted her eyes away and focused on the ceiling instead, taking Yongsun’s hand away from her cheeks and into her grasp.

“I have to tell you something.” She bounced the options around in her head for a second, but figured that there was nothing she could do to avoid this conversation, and it had come to a point where she couldn't bring herself to hide it any longer.

“This isn’t an isolated incident, there’s a lot more to this. There were other… threats, but you have to trust me on this, we’ll try to get to the bottom of it before I tell you everything, okay?”

“Why can’t I know now? And who’s ‘we’?”  _ And fuck, she doesn’t think she has a coherent answer for that. _

“Your CEO-nim, Wheein, and I. They don’t want you to know, mostly because we’re trying to get this solved without too big of a fallout. I promise you, there’s nothing you can do even if you know, I’m investigating this with my academy, we’re all going to keep you safe.”

“They think that I don’t need to know when someone is threatening my safety? And you agree with them?” Yongsun was confused, _so_ _confused_ , frustrated at the fact that the more questions she asked, the more lost she became.

“They just didn’t want you to be scared or worried or do anything reckless about it. You were promoting your drama, filming for the next one and getting two hours of sleep a night, so what does knowing this help with exactly? And yeah, I knew you would hate it but I do agree with them.”

“I’m not a child, Byulyi, I think I should at least get the choice of making my own decisions regarding my own affairs. I expect this of CEO-nim, but not from you or Wheein.”

“So you’re gonna tell me you wouldn’t have done anything stupid with this knowledge? That you won’t personally intervene in our investigations because you didn’t think your own safety was that big of a deal? That ‘your fans will never do anything like this’? So if I told you, that months ago someone sent a letter with a death threat scrawled on it you wouldn’t have just begged us to drop the case or offer to dangle yourself as bait? Would you have let me done my job,  _ every part of my job _ , without stopping me?”

Yongsun went quiet, but there was an intensity to her silence that was frightening. She was fuming, clenching her fist tighter with every word Moonbyul said. She hated it, because every word was true, Moonbyul just described everything she would have done in that situation. Still, she still felt that she was in the right. 

“Even so, I would want to know, I deserve to know, and none of you have the right to keep shit like that from me. I’m not your damsel in distress, Byul, I don’t you to shelter me from knowing things like I’m a kid, as if I will snap in half if I so much as find out. I don’t deserve this fucking shit, not from you. I trusted you.” She had to look away when she uttered that last sentence, before she accidentally gave her tears the chance to form.

“I did what I had to do, whether you liked it or not. I’m doing my job, following instructions, going by the books, handling this just as I would any other case. You being my girlfriend changes nothing, at the end of the day I’m still just someone your boss hired to protect you.” 

Moonbyul could hear how roughly she was breathing as she tried to hold back her own tears. Every word stung. 

Eventually she got up from the couch, after a long, tensed pause of nothingness. She picked up the almost-forgotten groceries bags off the floor, heading straight for the kitchen. There was a shuffle and a thud, and she knew Yongsun had chosen to close herself off in the bedroom. 

Moonbyul wanted to apologise just for the sake of ending this unbearable fight, but at the same time stubbornly refused to be the one to give in. She got to work, letting her soup simmer on the stove while she prepared the rice. Throughout it all, she wanted to do nothing else but dig her fingers into her scalp and scream in frustration at how everything went down. 

The bedroom door was still closed when she brought the dishes out onto the dining table. She was about to knock, when the door cracked open as if on cue. Yongsun spared one glance at her, before walking right past her, phone clutched in her hand. There were drying tears down the sides of her face, and it almost made Moonbyul give in then. Until Yongsun spoke again.

“So you’re just going to not tell me everything else?” Yongsun’s voice was ice cold. Moonbyul was back at the table scooping their portions, but put the spoon back into the bowl, glaring daggers at the herbs in the soup, anything except look at Yongsun in the eye.

“That’s your manager and CEO’s job and choice whether or not they want you to know.” She answered back, just as cold. “Go ask them yourself. I want to eat now, if that’s okay with you.”

She shovelled her rice angrily into her bowl, more aggressive than she needed to be, and took it with her as she settled down in front of her couch to eat.

Yongsun just stared at her as Moonbyul walked away from the dining table, her own hands hanging uselessly beside her as her exhaustion came at her in a wave, all over again. Now, it was like the emotional labour of breathing in this tension-filled air was taking a physical toll on her, and she had never felt more defeated as she took a bowl for herself, sitting down where she was and ate her food.

There wasn’t a single word exchanged between them after that. They washed their own share of the dishes, before Moonbyul snatched the parcel off the floor where she shoved it earlier and slammed the door of the study shut behind her.


	17. chapter seventeen

The study was always locked, and Yongsun understood not to pry. It was where Moonbyul had confidential files of her clients, past and present, information that would be dangerous in the wrong hands. In a neat stack on the desk was everything related to Yongsun’s case, and now she had to add that parcel to it. 

She shoved aside some loose papers, grabbing the pen knife off the stand and cut into the box. In it, were several rocks, wrapped together in a bundle of newspapers, clearly added for faux weight. What she was more interested in was the printed photographs that laid at the bottom of the box in a red envelope, addressed to  _ Solar  _ in black calligraphy ink. 

The photographs looked like any fansite’s ordinary shots, professionally taken, candid pictures of Yongsun at events or filming venues. There didn’t seem to be anything odd about these photographs at all, until she flipped them around.

There were messages written on the back of each print, headed by the date it was taken and ended off with “ _ Your love _ ”. The messages varied, some of them were innocent, sounding like a fan’s heartfelt letter to their idol.

But then she picked up the fifth one, and with every word she read, she could feel her skin get colder and colder with unease. 

_ I tried to let you see me today, but things didn’t go as planned, Sorry, my sun, I will try again next time. I hope you get to go home soon, it hurts me to know that you’re in pain, but I hope you understand, it was necessary. We’ll see each other soon, I promise. _

She flipped the print back again, and stared at the picture. Yongsun standing on the red carpet, in a tuxedo dress, her wavy hair pulled over one shoulder. It was that fateful event that started it all. What did this message mean? Try again next time? Go home soon?

The hospitalisation wasn’t public knowledge. And now, every bit of evidence she had just pointed to the fact that Yongsun was poisoned, by the person who handed her that box of candy.

Moonbyul dropped the photographs back onto the table, searching through her stack of papers again until she found what she was looking for. 

She combed through every word in her logbook, every picture attached to its pages, looking for that moment that box was put into Yongsun’s hands. Nothing. There wasn’t a single lead in all the investigating she did on that event, as to who gave Yongsun that gift. There were just too many people in that crowd of fans, and every photo and video she could find of that short twenty minutes of fan interaction had the camera angled at the celebrity and not her fans. 

Moonbyul groaned in frustration, clutching that logbook too tightly in her hands. How was this person so good at slipping past them? Her investigations were as thorough as they could be, with resources afforded by her academy to help her, but still, this man was making the boldest moves and getting away with it.

She scrubbed her fingers at her face, steeling herself with a long inhale, before clicking on her phone. The CEO’s face flashed on her screen a minute later.

He listened with a grave look on his face, as she detailed everything that happened to him, leaving out the fact that Yongsun now knew about the rest of the threats. She figured that that was Yongsun’s conversation to have, whether or not she wanted to or not.

“I was going to ask Wheein about this later, but Yongsun doesn’t have any schedules for the next week right?” Moonbyul asked, watching the CEO click through a few tabs on his computer.

He shook his head, looking to her expectantly to continue. “I’m planning to go back to the academy for a few days, probably the day after tomorrow. I believe my superiors informed you about our intelligence and investigation branch back when your company and mine signed that contract. I’ve been using the resources allocated to me so far, but I will need to go back to do everything properly. I think this… this incident calls for that.”

“Sure, I’m glad you are able to do that, but then who is going to be in charge of Yongsun’s security while you’re gone?”

“I have plans for that, don’t worry. I just need two or three days, and during these few days, I hope that you would help to turn down any impromptu events that might crop up for Yongsun and Wheein.” 

They ended the call shortly after, and right after she hung up, she dialled Wheein’s number.

“Unnie?” The younger girl’s voice was rough with exhaustion.

“Something happened, Wheein-ah.” Moonbyul said simply, although she was truly contemplating telling her now that she heard how tired the manager seemed to be.

“I know. Yongsun-unnie told me everything.”  _ So that’s why. _ “You got the same lecture by her too?”

Moonbyul wouldn’t term it a  _ lecture _ , seeing as how the space in the house felt like a warzone after a ceasefire. She hummed into the phone anyway, hearing Wheein chuckle sadly as a reply.

“Wheein-ah, I need you to do something for me.” She told her about her plans for the next few days, and switched to a video call to show her the photos and messages, and that piece of paper that was left in the stairwell. Wheein was deathly quiet throughout, as the realisation slowly crept up on her about how serious the situation had been, and how much information Yongsun left out in their phone call earlier.

“So I need you to take Yongsun in while I’m gone, let her stay with you. You live a good distance away from here, so it should be safe. Can you do that?” Moonbyul let her take a breather before asking. There was distress all over her features, as she struggled to stay calm through her worry. 

“Unnie already told me she’s coming over tonight, don’t worry.”

_ Oh. _ That hurt more than Moonbyul expected it to. She had thought that their fight would just last an hour, before either of them break and apologise, but then this was how Yongsun was planning to deal with it. Literally running away. Perhaps she had fucked up more than she thought she had.

“Unnie?” Wheein’s voice brought her back.

“Okay, that’s convenient. I’ll send her over later in a cab then, in case that stalker recognises my car or anything. Keep her home for the next three days, I’m leaving the day after.” There was a pregnant pause after that, and she could almost hear Wheein’s mind racing.

“She didn’t tell you she was planning to come over?” 

“No.” 

“Unnie-ah, what actually happened between you two?”

For some reason, that question alone made Moonbyul’s eyes fill with tears again. 

“It’s fine, Wheein. Just help me out by keeping the both of you safe okay? I’m telling Hyejin too, in case. See you later.” She ended the call before Wheein could ask any more questions, letting her head drop into her hands on the table next to the phone.

She arranged all the files she needed into a thick binder, leaving it in a bag next to the study room door. She touched the handle of the door like it was burning her, like she was going to open it to see raging fires on the other side. 

It wasn’t so much raging fires as it was an eerie, abandoned stillness. Yongsun wasn’t in the living room, but Moonbyul knew no matter how far spite could carry them, she wouldn’t risk going out of the safety of the house alone. 

The bedroom door was closed. Part of her wanted to leave the older girl alone, let her stew in her anger. But with less than half a day left with her to spend, she gave in, entering the bedroom where Yongsun was curled up on her side of the bed, back turned to her. 

Moonbyul tiptoed over, hovering by the bedside but not sure what to do with herself. She wanted to get in bed, assume her usual position of being Yongsun’s big spoon, and just sleep away the anxiety and exhaustion. With how they left things, with the things still left unspoken between them, she couldn’t be sure that Yongsun wouldn’t flinch away from her touch, but she knew that if that happened, she would shatter completely. 

So she didn’t. She left a world of a space between them, as she crawled under her side of the covers, listening to Yongsun’s breathing and figured that she wasn’t asleep. Her back was also turned, as she stared at the white wall in front of her. Even in the same house, same room, curled up in the same bed, Yongsun was so far away. 

The white wall blurred into black, and she fell asleep.

* * *

Yongsun heard the door creak open, a bit of the air-conditioning rushing out. She felt the presence loom closer, before the bed dipped behind her. She was waiting, hoping and wishing, that an arm will soon wrap around her as always, and pull her into a close embrace. Maybe even a few kisses on her head like she’s used to. But there was nothing but small sniffles, so she curled in more into herself, squeezing her eyes even tighter shut, and willed herself to fall asleep.

She doesn’t want to leave tonight, contrary to what she told Wheein. She didn’t want to spend time apart from Moonbyul just because it was easier to, rather than just letting this fight hang suffocatingly in the air. It was stupid and childish, but her anger was justified, so whatever, right? She had the right to storm off until she had the mood to talk to Moonbyul again. 

When hunger eventually woke her up again, Moonbyul was still asleep next to her. She fished her phone out from under the pillow, squinting when the bright screen light shined in her eyes.

_ ‘I won’t be coming over tonight. Maybe tomorrow.’  _

_ ‘Yeah, I don’t want you to, not if you’re still fighting with Byulyi unnie.’  _ Wheein’s reply came in immediately.

_ ‘She told you?’  _ Yongsun couldn’t help but feel a bit of a sour taste in her mouth at the thought of Moonbyul dipping Wheein into their mess when she so carefully tried to keep her out of it.

_ ‘Not directly, but I have eyes and ears and a functioning brain.’  _ She could picture Wheein rolling her eyes as she typed that.

She didn’t reply for a while, so Wheein continued.  _ ‘Unnie ah, it’s not her fault, she just did what we told her to do, you should be angry at me and CEO-nim insteadddd :(‘  _

_ ‘Who says i’m not huh’  _

_ ‘Yes but you’re at least still talking to me. I’m sorry unnie, I really am, but you have to see things from our perspective too. I had to keep things from you, I know you well and I know you would have stopped us from doing the things we needed to do. Go talk to Byulyi-unnie please, at least tell her you’re not gonna come over tonight :(‘ _

Yongsun tapped out of the conversation after a non-committal  _ okay _ , switching instead to the food delivery app. 

Twenty minutes later, two sets of dinner arrived. She took her share and ate it with the TV playing, though she wasn’t paying attention. She was listening out, and then she heard it, the sound of the bedroom door clicking open, padding feet shuffling across the living room, and the plastic bag carrying the other packet of food being rustled. 

No words, no acknowledgement, not even a look spared at each other. The only thing they could hang onto was a terse “not going to Wheein’s tonight” and a hum in response, and that was it.

It was like that for the entirety of the next day too, Moonbyul shutting herself behind the doors of the study while Yongsun cleaned the house until there was nothing else left to clean. They were both being ridiculous, and they knew it. 

* * *

When the doorbell rang, Yongsun froze up, head whipping around in the direction of the door, but otherwise physically incapable of moving. It was 8pm at night, this was no food delivery. She could only let out the breath she was holding when the study door opened again, and her girlfriend ran out, mumbling something about her item arriving, the first words she heard her speak the whole day. 

Moonbyul spent an hour outside the house, installing the pinhole cameras that had just arrived, in every angle around her doorstep. These would have to do, with their shitty quality and occasional interrupted connections, until she could procure the better ones from her company. 

She stepped back into the house, locking the door securely behind her, to see that Yongsun had vacated her spot on the couch. It had been exactly 32 hours since their fight,  _ yeah, she counted _ , and so that was 32 hours she spent on the constant brink of tears. She was worn out, she wanted to talk, to reach out for Yongsun and have her  _ want _ her in return. 

But that resolve died and vanished into the cold air of the bedroom when she saw that Yongsun had once again slept on the very edge of the bed, back turned and as far away as possible from Moonbyul’s side of the bed. 

“I’m leaving for the Academy tomorrow. Will be away for two days. Gonna send you to Wheein’s house before I go.” Moonbyul said in a tired voice as she neared the bed, knowing that the older girl was still awake. There was a moment that passed where she wasn’t sure Yongsun was going to reply.

“Okay.” Yongsun didn’t turn around, nor did she even open her eyes. She didn’t dare to, afraid of seeing her thoughts float in front of her in the dark. Moonbyul was leaving tomorrow, and this was going to be how they were going to leave things. 

When she felt the other girl get into bed behind her, she laid back flat on the bed, eyes finally open and staring unseeingly. She chanced a glance at Moonbyul, who mirrored her earlier position, facing the wall on the other side of the bed. 

Her eyes went back to its blank gaze at the ceiling, and when her vision blurred, she wasn’t sure if it was from her fresh tears or from the weariness of the day. Either way, she stayed awake, trying but failing to force herself to sleep.

A few hours later and Moonbyul was whimpering in her sleep, the blanket they were sharing getting tugged at. 

The guard told her before that it had been her in those nightmares, but nothing felt more like a stab to the heart than hearing it with her own two ears, her girlfriend calling out for her in her sleep with big droplets of sweat rolling off her forehead. 

Yongsun forgot the fight, and the space she was supposed to put between them, and brought the girl into a cradle, shushing her until her name disappeared on her slightly parted lips. She didn’t realise how much she had missed touching Moonbyul until she was doing it, her thumb gently brushing away the tears underneath the younger girl’s closed eyes. She watched the rise and fall of her chest even out, and when they did, Moonbyul’s eyes opened.

“I’m here, I love you, you’re okay, I’m okay.” Yongsun let out a chant of reassurances, holding her even tighter in her embrace. The younger girl clung on tightly, fists clenched in the fabric on Yongsun’s cotton pyjamas and breathing in her scent until the last traces of her panic were gone.

Then it hit her, and she pulled away.

“I- I’m sorry, I’m okay now, we can go back to sleep, I’m sorry-”

“No.” Yongsun didn’t let her put the distance back again, tightening her hold on the nape of Moonbyul’s neck. “Byul-ah, can we talk? Please?” Her voice was so small and timid, Moonbyul could barely make out the words.

Moonbyul let out a soft sigh, taking Yongsun’s hand away from her neck but holding it in her hand instead, adjusting herself so she could properly face Yongsun, trying not to block the moonlight from illuminating Yongsun’s features.

“Yeah, okay, we can talk.”

“I’m sorry, Byul-ah.”

“I’m sorry too.”

Moonbyul let out a chuckle of disbelief after she said those words. Three seconds worth of apologies was all it took, yet they spent almost a full two days immaturely refusing to do so.

“We’re ridiculous, aren’t we.” She said, letting her eyes wander on Yongsun’s face, now that she allowed herself to.

“Yes we’re both idiots. I’m an idiot for being so thoroughly oblivious about how I would have acted. Seems like you and Wheein know me better than I do myself.” Yongsun answered, smiling fondly at the first sign of happiness she saw on Moonbyul’s face in way too many hours.

“And I’m an idiot for thinking I can make your decisions for you. You’re right, Yong, you deserved to know, even if I had to risk having you in the way, you should’ve had a say in how we dealt with the situation.”

“Yeah, I would have fully deserved it when you inevitably team up with Wheein to veto me when I go full brat and insist you call off the investigations.” Yongsun giggled sheepishly, guilty in hindsight but glad that her vision was 20/20 moving forward.

Moonbyul laughed at that, a carefree, silvery laughter that took away the last bits of tension hanging in the air. They snuggled closer together, wordlessly, after a night and a half of having so much space between them, it was like they were making up for lost time. 

“I get it, Byul-ah, I understand.” Yongsun whispered into the top of her head. “I know what you’re scared of, so I will do everything I can to make sure it doesn’t happen.”

Moonbyul didn’t reply to that, so she continued. “I will go along with all your many many safety protocols, listen to you and Wheein and just… do my best to be safe. You should know, I’ve told you before, I hate making anyone worry about me, so I won’t let you. I’ll be good.”

She got a quiet laugh in response, and she pouted childishly at her girlfriend, who was staring at her with so much emotion written all over her face.

“Me too.” Moonbyul whispered, closing her eyes and nuzzling closer. “Won’t let you worry, no more secrets between us. I promise.”

They laid there just breathing for a while, after so long of feeling suffocated under the roof of the small house. It was 2am, everything was silent around them, and all they could hear were their heartbeats syncing up.

“Wait. You said you were leaving later?” Yongsun broke their reverie, pushing lightly at Moonbyul’s shoulders so she could see her. “Why?”

“To investigate the case. I have to, the Academy has everything I need, and it’s at a point where we have to take the offense and not the defense in this. We can’t have that man on the loose while you’re out there having schedules. I’ll just be gone for two days.”

“Will you tell me everything tomorrow?”

“In the morning. No more secrets, remember?” Moonbyul turned to face the wall again, but this time she backed up until Yongsun’s front was plastered against her back, and took her arm to wrap around her waist securely. “Let’s sleep first, Yongsun, I’m tired.”

She fell asleep for the second time that night, with Yongsun’s lips pressed to her hair, finally able to breathe easily.

* * *

The next morning, Moonbyul fulfilled her promise. After their breakfast of pancakes and coffee, she brought out her bag of binders and logbooks, and spared no detail in showing Yongsun every one of them. She let Yongsun hold her hand as she spoke, and when she was done, she tucked everything back into the bag. 

Yongsun watched her work, mind still reeling from all the new things Moonbyul just showed her. She knew it was serious, but never expected it to be this bad. All the letters, photographs, messages, it made the hairs on her arms rise. In all her years as an actress, she had only heard about these types of stories from other senior colleagues, but never thought it would ever happen to her. She can’t help but feel her skin crawl at the thought of a faceless man watching her back, as she travelled around from place to place. 

She sat there absorbing all the information, thinking about how Moonbyul went from her usual protectiveness at the beginning to wanting to be by her side all the time.  _ She was afraid. _ Yongsun thought that perhaps it was all just Moonbyul’s nature, and told herself to get used to the fact that her girlfriend was overprotective. All the times Moonbyul stepped between her fans and her, she now felt guilty at feeling annoyed in those moments. Her heart clenched at the thought that every time they were out together, Moonbyul was also burdened with this threat constantly at the back of her mind.

“Wheein knows everything too, doesn’t she?” Moonbyul hands hung in the air, nodding solemnly. “When I started acting as a career, I would never have agreed to Wheein being my manager if I knew these were the sort of things she would have to deal with.”

“Wheein is strong.”

“I don’t doubt that she is, but she will always be my baby sister, just like how Hyejin is to you, and I will always feel the need to shelter her from the worst of this world. And now here she is, shouldering this burden, and she couldn’t even call me to rant about it like how she solves 99% of her problems.”

“She wasn’t alone, Yong. This isn’t at all your fault.” Moonbyul slipped her hand back on the table and laced their fingers together.

“I know she wasn’t.” Yongsun leaned in to place a kiss on her lips, and whispered her next words into the shared air between them. “Thank you for taking care of her too.”

Time seemed to always slip by faster when they had a ticking clock on them, and soon it was almost dinnertime. 

Moonbyul got their small luggages ready by the door, locking her windows and checking her security cameras one last time before making Yongsun wait behind the gate as she surveyed her floor. After making sure that there were no lurking or hiding figures, she went back for the actress, smuggling her from the house to the lift and into the cab that was already waiting for them.

When they showed up at Wheein’s house, Hyejin was there too, and the two younger girls had to take a full minute to recover from how hard they laughed seeing the disguises that Moonbyul and Yongsun wore. There was a wig that Moonbyul kept from an old Halloween costume, a golf hat that was gifted to her by an ex-client, and an assortment of everything else they could use from her closet. 

“Shut up you two, we didn’t have great options.” Yongsun groaned, dropping her bags on the floor and heading straight for the couch. 

“Ugly as it is, it worked, I almost didn’t recognise you through the peephole.” Hyejin commented, running over to hug Moonbyul.

“Gonna have to count on you to make sure these two don’t run about during my absence.” Moonbyul sunk into the embrace, missing her best friend’s company. 

“I’m the last person I would trust with listening to instructions, let alone enforcing them. But okay, I’ll try.” Hyejin grinned at her, before joining Yongsun and Wheein on the couch. 

They lazed about for a little while longer, before getting up reluctantly to cook, all four of them contributing in one way or another. Yongsun thought the food tasted almost sweeter, just because of that fact.

When it was time to go, Moonbyul slung her bags over her shoulder, and Yongsun took both her hands in hers.

“Stay safe and come back soon.” The older girl said, holding up her pinky finger. Moonbyul smiled, hooking their fingers together. 

“I promise. And you have to be safe too.” Yongsun nodded earnestly, closing the gap between them.

She paused just an inch away from Moonbyul’s lips, and turned her head to see the other two girls standing not too far away, Hyejin’s arm slung around Wheein’s shoulder, who had her own hands folded in front of her chest, the both of them staring at the couple with blatant smirks on their faces.

“So you’re just gonna watch us?” Yongsun asked awkwardly, her confident streak shrinking under their friends’ watchful eyes. All she got was a matter-of-factly, synchronised nod. “Can you not?”

Before she knew it Moonbyul was grabbing her face, yanking her attention to her  _ and only her _ , smashing their lips together as if they didn’t have an audience. And then the door opened and shut, and Moonbyul was gone, a chorus of  _ see you  _ and  _ byes  _ echoing behind the closed door.

“You can close your mouth now unnie, she left.” She felt like she had to physically pick her jaw off the ground, tethering herself back to Earth, before the kiss finally registered in her head. She turned to glare at the two girls, who were now snickering gleefully as they scurried away from her. 

_ “So I have to deal with the kids while you’re gone :(“  _ Yongun sent the message, moving to keep away the phone, but bringing it up again. 

_ “Text me when you’re there. Love you.” _


	18. Chapter 18

This was Moonbyul’s first time back at the Academy ever since she started this assignment as Yongsun’s bodyguard. There was something that made her feel so safe about the building, since it was where she spent most of her adult years. She dropped Yongsun a text as she promised, before grabbing a few coffees at the attached cafe and heading up the lifts to the upper floor where her junior was waiting.

“Seulgi-ah!” She called out, before a force knocked into her bodily. “Hot coffee!” 

Seulgi ignored her, taking the tray of drinks out of her hand but not letting her pull away from the hug.

“I missed you, unnie.” She said, taking a sip out of one of the cups. Moonbyul smiled fondly, throwing her bags carelessly on the floor of the training room, waving back to a few other juniors who were excitedly greeting her.

“I missed you too. Still no new assignments?” 

“Nope, posted to intel branch for now.” The younger guard informed her, leading her to the benches where they could observe the ongoing training while talking.

“Oh? That’s convenient. I’m back to tap on intel for my case, so you can help me out, if you’re free enough.”

“Yeah, of course I can. But isn’t your client Solar? What does an actress need intel for? Is she waist-deep in espionage, or?”

Moonbyul made a face at her. “I promise you, if she was involved in anything even close to espionage, I would have hightailed out of this assignment a long time ago. Don’t need another consul planning assassinations in my hotel room.”

Seulgi shuddered when she thought about that client they had. That was a wild time, and she really thought Solar as a client would have been a break for her senior,  _ but guess not _ . “So what’s the intel for then?”

“More so investigation.” Moonbyul stood up, patting her bag, and Seulgi understood immediately, ushering her to the dedicated floor in the building meant for research and other information collection purposes. They caught sight of the red digits on the digital wall clock, the  _ 23:51 _ blinking at them. Still, even nearing midnight, the floor was packed with their colleagues shuffling about, clicking at computers or tapping away at giant touchscreens.

“Glad to see nothing’s changed, yall are still nocturnals.” Moonbyul remarked, unzipping her bag atop a lit up table.

“That would imply that we sleep in the day, which we don’t.” Seulgi grumbled, taking a large sip of her coffee for emphasis. She helped to organise the mess of documents and papers on the table, and plugged the hard disk into the screen nearby.

“Alright, let’s get started.” They got straight to work, Moonbyul swiping expertly at the screens to look for the information she needed, while Seulgi went through the logbooks, filling herself in on the situation.

They worked into the night, until a few of their colleagues tapped on their shoulders, dragging them away from work and into their dorms to rest. 

* * *

Between looking through hours of surveillance tapes and waiting for the tech department to return with results of their IP tracking, Moonbyul took breaks by punching out her frustration on the practice dummies in the training room. Seulgi peeked into the large room, curiously eyeing the lineup of juniors just sitting and watching her, wondering why no one offered to join Moonbyul.  _ Ah, right, it’s Moon Byul-yi after all. _

“Unnie!” She jogged into the training area, wrapping her hands up with the gloves by the side, sending knowing glances at the juniors. They met her eyes in embarrassment, before filing out of the room one by one. “Come on, let’s see if your bones are rusted.”

They sparred until they physically couldn’t anymore, ending up in an exact tie of wins between them. It was Seulgi who tore off her gloves first, star-fishing onto the mat and refusing to get up when Moonbyul asked for another go.  _ This is why no one wanted to spar with you,  _ she thought.

Moonbyul dropped onto her butt next to her, releasing her hair out of the messy bun and hung her sore arms over her knees. She was staring blankly at nothing, so Seulgi took the chance to study her face, realising that there was something else that her senior wasn’t telling her.

“You were in the intel room the whole morning, took only four bites of your lunch, came here to take your rage out on dear Mr Frederick, go back to the intel room to stress yourself out for another few hours, and come here again. I think you owe yourself and Mr Frederick an apology.” Seulgi chided, glaring at her from the corner of her eye.

Moonbyul laughed openly at her, bowing to the practice dummy that was abandoned in a pile at the corner of the room. “Sorry Freddy.” 

There was still a smile on her face, but Seulgi could tell that she was lost in thought. “You will drop dead if you continue overworking yourself like that. You’re not doing anyone any favours here, especially not your client.”

The older guard clenched her teeth at the reprimand, knowing that she deserved it.

“She’s not just a client to me, Seulgi-ah.”

_ Yeah, that made sense. _ Her senior fell in love with an assigned client, something that was drilled into them from the start to never do. It made sense now, why Moonbyul was throwing herself entirely into this case. She had learnt early on never to underestimate her work ethic, but she knew her well enough to be able to see the difference. This was personal to her, and the thought of it made Seulgi sigh loudly.

“Unnie-ah, I’m sorry, but you should know-”

“It’s against the rules, I know. I know that, Seulgi, but I can’t help it. Didn’t stand a chance.” Moonbyul replied, meeting her gaze with pleading eyes. “I really can’t have it happen all over again. I don’t know what would be left of me if it does happen.”

Seulgi softened. She was there through it all, part of the team that made it out with the diplomat, only to receive the news of Sujeong’s death later through their radios, just when they thought everything was over. She was there when the most respected senior of their academy shut down completely, the team trying and failing to get her back on her feet. It was as if they had mourned not one but two of their best guards that day.

It was a time that Seulgi hated thinking about, but it was something she would never be able to wash out of her memory. 

“I’m going to help you get to the bottom of this, okay? Solar-unnie would be okay.” A grateful smile found its way onto Moonbyul’s lips, and upon Seulgi’s whining insistence, she hesitantly turned in early for the night.

* * *

Eventually, Moonbyul gathered and prepared every bit of resource she needed from the Academy, packing with her digital files, updated maps, thorough lists of contacts, and set the systems up for Seulgi to help her with the investigation while she was back in Seoul. She took two sets of pinhole cameras and other gadgets she suspected she would need, and started the trip back..

Wheein had called earlier, because Yongsun was apparently needed at a CF photoshoot venue three hours before the scheduled time, which meant that Moonbyul couldn’t possibly make it back in time to escort her there herself. She gave the manager an earful on safety protocols, making her check back every half-hour to make sure they were okay, and even called Jungsu personally to update him on new security procedures. 

Call her thorough, excessive or overprotective, but she would rather that, than having to pick up a bad news call. She stepped on the pedals, weaving through the normal traffic that lined the highways into Seoul, but with the minutes trickling by, the congestion on the roads seemed to last forever.

She parked her car as soon as she pulled up at the building, following Wheein’s directions through the phone to the changing room where the actress and her manager were already waiting. Yongsun was seated in her chair in front of the mirror, wearing the silky white dress that matched the brand’s summer concept. Her hair was getting curled by a few stylists, but it didn’t stop her from whipping her head around when she saw Byul in the mirror.

“Solar-ssi!” Her stylist shrieked in alarm when the hot tool in her hand almost made contact with Yongsun’s face. She didn’t care, though, giving the stylist an apologetic look before Moonbyul launched herself into her waiting arms.

“People who don’t know us better would think we haven’t seen each other in years, unnie.” Moonbyul whispered mischievously into her ear. Yongsun groaned in faux-disgust at the close proximity, but the younger girl knew better.

She peeled Moonbyul off of her and sat her in another chair, so that her stylists could continue with their work properly. Wheein’s face suddenly popped up in the mirror behind them.

“You owe me gopchang. I didn’t take over your job as Kim Solar’s bodyguard for free, unnie.” 

“Then shouldn’t it be this unnie treating us instead? I’m on your payroll. It makes mathematical sense for Yong to treat us.” Moonbyul mused, scratching her chin as if genuinely giving it genuine thought.

“Thank you Yongsun-unnie, I look forward to the gopchang dinner at the restaurant two streets away from Hyejin’s pub, the one that sells the sauce by the bucket.” Wheein added, sharing stolen giggles with the grinning guard before slipping away, back to whatever she was busy sorting out before Moonbyul arrived.

_ This is my life now,  _ Yongsun thought, mouth opening and closing like a fish.  _ Getting bullied by her two kids and a girlfriend who might as well be Kid No. 3. _

Deep in her heart, she knew that she wouldn’t have it any other way.

* * *

Naturally, Hyejin joined the trio at the restaurant. Moonbyul and Yongsun exchanged vindicated smirks when Wheein choked on her food just as Hyejin leaned down and pecked her cheek with a loud smack.

“Wheein-ssi, we haven’t got to the alcohol yet, why are you so red, huh?” Wheein threw a slice of pickled radish at Moonbyul for that, not stopping herself even when she remembered that they were in a public place. She didn’t expect Moonbyul to throw it back, or the small saucer of kimchi that came her way too. 

Yongsun had to break them up, scolding her girlfriend in a hushed voice, while Hyejin just watched on with her cheeks stuffed full of food.

“What is the point of getting the most private table in this place if you two are going to act like that huh?” Moonbyul and Wheein had the gall to look guilty for a split second, before bursting out into giggles again. Yongsun just sighed, taking food for herself and Hyejin, leaving the two of them be. 

They took their time with the meal, conversing like they’ve had this friendship for years. Hyejin observed, as Moonbyul and Wheein made jokes at Yongsun’s expense, making her groan in annoyance in between bites of food. And surprisingly, the older girl turned to her for help against the other two, sending her pleading glances to say something, at which she would just wordlessly stuff both their mouths with food to make them shut up. 

“Are we headed to Hyejin’s pub?” Wheein asked, looking at the time.

“It’s late. I’ll send you all home.” The three girls turned to stare at Moonbyul in confusion at her reply.

“Unnie, it's barely 10pm. That’s noontime by your standards.” Hyejin said, staring her unnie up and down in concern.

“It’s been a long day, we should all rest.” Moonbyul replied, herding them out to the car after making sure they were all wearing their masks.

She noticed Yongsun looking at her with worry in her eyes, unconvinced that she was fine. She opened the backseat of the car, letting Hyejin and Wheein in before closing it after them.

“Don’t worry about me, I really am fine, just tired from the trip here.” Moonbyul turned to take Yongsun’s hands into hers, putting a smile on her own face to coax one onto the other girl’s. They were hidden by the shadows of the trees next to the lot, which gave Moonbyul the courage to lean down to touch their lips together for just a breath.

“I believe you. But if you’re not, you will tell me, right? No secrets?” Yongsun peered up at her expectantly for a few seconds when she pulled away from the kiss, catching a glimpse of guilt flash across her girlfriend’s face.

“Fine. I was gonna go home to work on your case. Seulgi sent more information back.”

“I’m staying up with you then.”

“It’s okay, I’m just gonna-”

“Stay up till morning? Not sleep? Fine then I’m not sleeping too.”

“Unnie-ah…”

“No arguments.” 

Yongsun opened her side of the door, sliding into the car and ending their conversation there. Moonbyul could only sigh into the night air, letting herself into the driver’s seat too. 

Wheein was the first to be alighted, then Hyejin. They agreed on going back another day for Yongsun’s luggage at Wheein’s, because it was late and they didn’t want to risk either leaving Yongsun alone in the car or running up and down the apartment to the car.

When they were finally home, Moonbyul’s car was parked in a different lot, which made it much more discreet and easier to sneak up to the apartment safely without being seen.

Yongsun kept her word, sitting by Moonbyul and looking over her shoulders at all the information on the screen, eventually bringing out two steaming cups of tea and coaxing her girlfriend with soft lips on the back of her neck into turning in early for the night.

* * *

It was 7am sharp the next morning when Moonbyul let herself out of Yongsun’s hold, creeping out of the bed and turning back to see a lightly snoring figure sprawled across the sheets. Yongsun looked so peaceful and soft like that, her face void of any signs of stress and lips slightly ajar. Moonbyul tiptoed over to the other side of the bed and gently pulled the blanket up over the sleeping girl’s shoulders, before letting herself out and putting a pot of porridge on the stove.

She worked as quietly as possible, putting together a breakfast of stew and porridge. Just as she was turning off the fire, a groggy Yongsun emerged from her room, her hair all flipped to one side and footsteps making squeaky noises from her cartoon bedroom slippers.

“Up without an alarm or me calling you? Wow, unnie, am I influencing you?” Moonbyul teased.

“The smell of food woke me up. Like classical conditioning.” Yongsun replied with a loud yawn.

Moonbyul laughed at that, instructing her still half-asleep girlfriend to wash her face and join her for breakfast.

“How do you make rice and water taste so fragrant?” Yongsun exclaimed dramatically, mouth full of food. The chef in question poked her cheek.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full, chipmunk. And also, seasoning, unnie, I will teach you some day.”

“Or not, so I have an excuse to cook for you every day, Yongsun.” Moonbyul continued, after a calculated pause, winking at her with a smirk. Yongsun reacted to that exactly how she wanted, screaming in agony and hitting her with her chopsticks.

They finished up their breakfast, clearing the dishes together. Before opening the apartment door, Moonbyul made sure to pull Yongsun in for a kiss.

“For good luck.” She said.

“More good luck then.” Yongsun replied with a smile spreading across her face, placing another kiss on her girlfriend’s lips.

The girls laughed giddily as they left the building, Moonbyul putting on Yongsun’s shades and mask for her before helping her into the car.

They arrived at the company building a few minutes late, as Moonbyul was not taking any chances with extra perimeter checks to make sure that they were in the clear. 

Yongsun let her, however much she hated being late, but reminded herself to get up earlier if they had to spend so much time on the heightened security procedures.

When they got to the office, Wheein was already there, clicking away at some game on her tablet in boredom.

“You two are late.” The manager greeted them with a disapproving look, but the smile at the edges of her mouth gave it away.

She laid out the schedule for the day, detailing talks with directors and a photoshoot that Yongsun had to go for later that afternoon. It was going to be a busy day, with tons of people to meet. The studio for the photoshoot was pretty high profile as well, making Moonbyul fret at the prospect of being mobbed again. 

Wheein knew what she was going to ask for when she looked up from the schedule, placing the floor layout of the venue in Moonbyul’s hands without a word, receiving an amused thank you in return. The guard busied herself at the corner of the meeting room, verifying that the personnel were on the ground and ready for their arrival later on.

“Solar-ssi, mail for you.” A staff member popped his head into the office, announcing the delivery before carrying in a box full of fan mail.

Moonbyul’s head shot up at that announcement, brows furrowing immediately as she stared daggers at the box like it offended her. A hand came onto her shoulder, giving it a soft squeeze.

“It’s been vetted through by our staff.” Wheein informed her, sensing her rising panic. Yongsun eyed the both of them as she brought the box in front of her, hoping that they would stop staring at her like the box was going to blow up anytime. 

She had missed this, reading the fan’s heartfelt letters to her, her favourites being the ones that detailed how she inspired them to hop on their own journeys of achieving their dreams. She tore open letter after letter, choosing to reserve the longer ones for a later time. She looked like a kid on Christmas morning, excited by every little item in the box. 

The CEO walked in halfway, gesturing at her to continue while he discussed some publicity related matters with Wheein. 

Yongsun reached the bottom of the box. There, beneath the pile of cards and stuffed toys, was a gift set wrapped in a transparent glitter plastic, tied off at the top with gold ribbons. She lifted it out gingerly, placing it on the table. It was a small teddy bear with an equally-sized mini bouquet of fake flowers by the side. The short stubby arms and legs of the bear were hugging a bottle of mineral water, wrapped with a support banner with a cartoon illustration of Yongsun in place of the regular branding.

These were the sort of gifts that made her smile, because she could picture exactly where she could display the bear and flowers in her room. There was a card that fell out from between the bottle and the bear when she unravelled the gift.

“This sounds weird.” Yongsun remarked under her breath, one hand holding the bottle, a lump of dread in her throat as she read the message on the card in the other hand over and over again, trying to catch her girlfriend’s eyes across the table.

“What’s weird?” Moonbyul was alert immediately, dashing over to read the card as well.

_ “Yongsun, my love. I hope you dream of me when you drink this water. I prepared this with so much effort, I’m sure you will feel it. I’ll see you soon. Sincerely, your destined one.” _

Moonbyul snatched the bottle out of Yongsun’s hands immediately, making her flinch in surprise. She brought the bottle to her nose, but smelt nothing except for the overwhelming scent of plastic.

Wheein and their CEO were already standing up after that card was read out, the familiarity of the message sending a chill up their spines.

“All of you stay here, I’m sending this bottle for a test. I’ll take an hour.” Moonbyul directed, using the original plastic wrapping to encase the bottle, before leaving in an urgent rush.

Yongsun stared at the hand that the bottle was snatched from, still grasping around air. She can’t help but feel the itching need to wash her hands clean, in case it was ever touched by the same person tailing her.

The CEO uncrossed his arms, toeing his way to her slowly, eyes trained intently on her face.

“Yongsun-ah, we need to tell you something.”

“I know.”

“...What?”

“Moonbyul told me everything. That day when the man showed up to her house.” 

He was quiet for a second, trying to process the fact that she had known about the threats. “I gave her strict instructions not to tell you-”

“It’s not her fault. I made her tell me. CEO-nim, with all due respect, I deserved to know. How were you all expecting me not to piece things together after what happened anyway? He showed up at Moonbyul’s house, for goodness sake. How much more serious must it get before you deem it worthy of my knowledge? Until something bad actually happens?” Yongsun was frustrated, and didn’t bother toning down her anger at her boss.

She refused to meet his cold glare, looking through the corner of her eyes as Wheein pulled him out of the room gently, taking with her the rest of the box’s contents. The meeting room door closed behind them, leaving Yongsun alone to her wildly racing mind.


	19. chapter nineteen

There was the sterile smell of disinfectants in the air that Moonbyul had long ago associated with the laboratory. It had been more than a year since she’d stepped foot on the premises, and everything was still as it was, too clean, too silent, with an occasional whirl of someone rushing down the halls.

Her friend greeted her with as much enthusiasm as she would expect from someone who had worked a graveyard shift, emerging from the laboratory in her white coat and messily bunned-up hair. Moonbyul rambled out an explanation, skipping the formalities, and passed the bag to her. She was made to sit on one of those plastic waiting chairs while the tests were being run, but couldn’t resist standing and using her eyes to will the machines into running faster than they already were. 

“How is it?” She asked, even before the doors fully opened back up. 

Naeun said nothing. She handed Moonbyul the manila file, which Moonbyul tore slightly in her haste to open it. Her eyes flitted from side to side as she tried to make sense of all the chemical names and jargons, before they landed on the word that made her grip on the papers tighten.

“Are you sure?” She asked, her voice trembling.

Naeun nodded, her arms crossed in front of her chest. “Have I ever failed you, Byulyi?” 

Moonbyul bit her lip, stuffing the papers haphazardly back into the folder.  _ Breathe, breathe, breathe. _

“Go, you can get your boss to settle the bill with me later. Go do your thing, Byul.” Naeun gave her a light pat on her arm, before turning and disappearing back behind the doors of the laboratory.

* * *

At the company, there was a false sense of calm in the air. There was that usual quiet, only light tapping noises as the staff worked away at their computers, and the distant sounds of music from the practice rooms. Only a handful of them knew what had happened, the rest in blissful ignorance. 

When Moonbyul tore through the doors of the office floor again, she spotted a few administrative staff startling in alarm at her abrupt entrance, but she didn’t care. The staff could see the file of papers gripped tightly in her hand, and the way her features were twisted in fury. 

There was a younger woman whom she recognised as one of the members in the PR team standing up from her seat, bowing to her and apologising profusely, and everyone around them looking on in utmost confusion. 

Moonbyul ignored her, giving the secretary at the desk a piercing look until their eyes met, before she moved on and shoved the meeting room door open. The secretary did not waste a second, knocking on the CEO’s door to inform him of her arrival. 

In the meeting room, Yongsun sat alone at that long table, her head rested on her folded hands. Moonbyul softened at the sight, grabbing the swinging door and letting it gently close behind her. She took the seat next to Yongsun, resting her hand on her shoulder to pat her awake.. 

“Byul? Yongsun rubbed away the blurriness from her eyes, blinking hard to focus on the file in Moonbyul’s hands.

“The rest should be coming in soon, but before they do, I got to just… this is going to be bad, you have to be strong, you hear me?” Moonbyul fumbled with her words, searching Yongsun’s face with her eyes. 

“Hey, you too. I’m okay, whatever was in that thing, at least you stopped me from taking it. I’m safe, Byul.” Yongsun's hands came up to Moonbyul’s face, a thumb calming the tremble on her lips. Moonbyul didn’t realise how much she was shaking until she did that.

They put a distance between themselves as footsteps rumbled outside the door. Moonbyul stared at a small crack on the table as the CEO, Wheein, the PR manager and her subordinate from earlier filed into the room.

The manila folder was pushed to the centre of the table, as everyone took their seats. 

“Cyanide. Trace amounts. In the water.” Moonbyul’s low voice sounded absolutely dangerous, and no one felt like they dared to breathe. 

The CEO snatched up the folder, searching the papers for what she was reporting to them about. Moonbyul continued to speak, knuckles turning white from how much she was holding back her anger.

“The bottle may be sealed, but there’s an old trick that the person probably used. Capillary action. Simply put, just have a few drops of liquid cyanide on the neck of the bottle, and it can move under the space in the cap and into the water.” Moonbyul explained, her patience running thin as she looked around the room. “May I know who did the vetting and allowed a bottled drink to make it to Yongsun?”

Her voice never sounded deadlier, and she felt a hand on her thigh under the table give her a light squeeze, but she couldn’t meet Yongsun’s eyes, not now.

“My team did. And we’re very sorry, Yongsun-unnie, we didn’t do our jobs thoroughly enough, we thought it would be alright as long as the bottle was sealed.” The PR staff scrambled to apologise, her manager sitting next to her letting her finish.

“CEO-nim, Moonbyul-nim, I apologise on behalf of my team, this will not happen again.” The manager continued, looking around the table as she addressed them..

“There is at least a full gram in that water. It was a lethal dose. Yongsun could have died.” The words were spat out through her gritted teeth, and she rested her own hand above Yongsun’s on her leg. The colour drained from everyone’s faces at that statement, the gravity of the situation sinking in.  _ Yongsun could have died. _

This wasn’t just a simple prank anymore. This wasn’t like the previous time, when Yongsun could have just had her stomach pumped and be back on her feet the next day. This dose would kill her in seconds.

Moonbyul let the cold air of the room dry the tears brimming in her eyes. She refused to cry now. This meeting was going to be about doing everything that they could to bring this person to justice, and to make sure nothing even close to this happened again.

“Yun Soo, can you leave us please?” Wheein spoke, and it was clear she was trying to talk through a thick layer of fear in her throat. The staff member stood up immediately, bowing to them as she made her exit, head lowered in shame and guilt.

“Moonbyul, you went back to BG to investigate the case, right? Any news?” The CEO finally broke his silence.

“No major leads. But we now have his prints, and general profile logged into our surveillance software. The IP addresses he used previously were traced to an internet cafe that didn’t log its customer records or CCTV footage. So that was a dead end.” Moonbyul explained, but the more she had to speak, the more lightheaded she felt, her eyes refusing to open. “We essentially have nothing on him. It’s easy for him to cover his tracks. Hundreds of people send their fan mail to Yongsun every week, hundreds more line up behind those barricades to hand her their gifts. There is practically no way to single out which one of those is responsible for this.

“Is it possible to track down the sender by… I don’t know… the postal office?” He continued asking, unconvinced.

Moonbyul sighed deeply.  _ If only shit was that easy. _ “No. I’ve seen this many times for my previous assignments. The origins of postage received with no return addresses are impossible to track.”

“Are you sure BG has everything we need to find the culprit? Is there a need to bring in other investigation services?” The CEO pressed on.

Wheein could feel her two older friends’ energy and patience depleting with every passing second, and she too was barely holding back her clenched fists under the table. She wanted to punch a wall, to lash out, to scream at the universe for ever daring to hurt her best friend, and the tensed exchange between the CEO and Moonbyul wasn’t doing anything to ease her.

“Can we talk about what we’re going to do? What next?” She saw Moonbyul’s shoulders drop a little from relief at being spared the interrogation. 

“Wheein, cancel all of Yongsun’s scheduled events tentatively. I will send a personal email to the directors later.” The CEO instructed, and Wheein nodded, glad that she didn’t have to argue to convince him about this.

“I want to be included in any and all discussions about this. No exceptions.” Yongsun demanded, her unwavering voice giving off an air of finality and authority that made Moonbyul regret ever thinking she wasn’t capable of handling the knowledge of this situation. “If it weren’t for Moonbyul revealing everything to me then, I wouldn’t have hesitated drinking from that bottle, or thought anything of that fan’s message. Now do we all see why I have to be kept in the loop?”

There was a heaviness that settled over the other four in the room, a guilt that weighed on their shoulders as the actress stared each of them down. The CEO gave a sharp nod in lieu of a reply, and Yongsun had to stop herself from rolling her eyes at him.  _ Too proud to admit his mistake? Even now? _

She met Moonbyul’s apologetic eyes, and she returned the look with her own reassuring smile. They’ve been through this, and over this. She tipped her head slightly, signalling for the guard to continue with whatever she had to say.

“CEO-nim, I would like to request that all deliveries of fan gifts and mail be put under lock-and-key and withheld as evidence from now on. I will expedite investigations for this, and there’s already a team back at the Academy ready to help at any time.”

“Brief the staff on that later. But I’m going to ask again, Moonbyul, is BG fully equipped to handle this? We are willing to pay well, we won’t risk Yongsun’s safety over anything. Are you sure you can protect her?” 

Something about the way he asked that made Yongsun’s teeth grind in irritation. She looked over, but Moonbyul was nothing but professional and collected as she took in his words.

“You’ve seen my credentials, and what my Academy is capable of doing. There isn’t anything that the extra help can bring to the table that our intel and investigation branch cannot already accomplish, and it would be risky involving third parties at this juncture.” She was a face of calm as she assured him, but there was a warning tone underlying her words when she said the last bit. “I will protect her with my life, CEO-nim, I can promise you that.” 

The CEO ended the meeting after that, sending the few of them off to do everything that they had to do. Yongsun stood up to leave the room after everyone else left, but Moonbyul tugged on her hand, stopping her.

“I have to go brief the security staff, but after that, we’re leaving for home.” The guard told her, her tone softer at the edges than it had been throughout the meeting. Yongsun gave her a tired nod, before excusing herself to the restroom.

She sat on the benches along the corridor as she waited for Moonbyul to be done. It was back to silence, after a whole hour of tense conversation and passive-aggressive back and forth, it was suddenly so deafeningly quiet. Someone almost succeeded in ending her life. She came so close to dying. The faceless man in her mind was menacing in his presence, and she had to physically shake that image away. 

She thought about the  _ what ifs,  _ if Moonbyul hadn’t taken that bottle away, if she had accepted the gift just like she had the hundred other gifts in that box. Moonbyul did mention that the drug only needed seconds to do its job, isn’t it.

What if she died in that chair, the same horrible way she’d once acted out for a drama, with white foam pouring out the corner of her mouth, eyes rolling back in a manner so inhuman that it had to be digitally edited on her. What if Wheein had to watch her die that way? That after years of incredible memories they had together, that was the very last image she had to remember her by? 

Then there’s Moonbyul, who peeled herself open layer by layer before her, laying out every vulnerable part of her past that she herself deemed too ugly for this world, but let her in anyway. Moonbyul, who knew that loving Yongsun was her last and final chance she gave herself at happiness, and was already broken once and barely healed at that. 

What if Moonbyul had to watch her die, just like how she had held Sujeong as she took her last breath? 

Her thoughts kept getting louder and louder in her head, until there was a touch of her shoulder. She flinched, her whole body tensing up.

“It’s just me.” Moonbyul looked at her with a sad glint in her eyes, a flash of hurt across her features.

“I’m sorry, I was distracted.” She stood up, feeling like she had to lean on Moonbyul for support as she did. “Come on, let’s go home.” 

Yongsun spent the journey back lost in thought. Sitting in the passenger seat, she hardly said a word, as she stared unseeingly out of the tinted windows. Moonbyul glanced over in concern, biting on her lower lip in an attempt to refrain herself from saying anything until they were safely at their destination.

She parked the car as close to the entrance as possible, well within sight of the security post. Moonbyul stepped out, running over to help Yongsun out too. She wrapped a protective arm across the smaller girl’s shoulders, and Yongsun instinctively let her head rest on the crook of Moonbyul’s neck. They walked briskly back to the flat this way, not wasting a single minute loitering in the lobby.

Moonbyul didn’t let go of her even as she unlocked the door, eyeing the new cameras that she had set up all over the flat’s entrance the night before. Once the lock clicked shut, the guard helped Yongsun out of her coat before heading straight to the kitchen to look for things to cook for their dinner.

“Byul-ah, let’s order in, you had a tiring day too.” Yongsun called out from the living room, not having moved an inch since she stepped into the house. 

“It’s okay unnie, I’m fine-”

“Just come here, please?” Moonbyul stilled at the sound of tears choking up her voice. She turned around in alarm, and saw Yongsun standing dejectedly, hands in a vice grip on the fabric of her shirt, tears streaming down her face.

“Hey shh… you’re safe with me.” Moonbyul soothed, running over and bringing the crying girl into her embrace. She walked them both to the sofa, sinking into the mountain of cushions.

“Stop saying that Byul-ah. I know I’m safe with you. I have never doubted that. That’s not what I’m the most afraid of.” She could hear the small noise of confusion from Moonbyul, so she continued. “It’s what you said earlier.”

Yongsun spun around and grabbed her hands suddenly, bringing Moonbyul closer to her.

“Drop this assignment. There are other guards at your Academy so let anyone else do it.” Her eyes were filled with pleas and desperation. Moonbyul didn’t know how to respond to that, her mouth agape without any words coming out.

“I don’t want you to protect me with your life, Byul-ah, I want you to take that back.” Yongsun was begging her, and she would have gone on her knees if her legs weren't immobilised with fear. “You can’t do that to me. I know you can’t lose me but I can’t lose you too.”

Moonbyul gulped painfully, her own throat closing up with the emotions she was hopelessly suppressing. She took her hand out of Yongsun’s clasp, wrapping the other girl’s hands instead.

“Do you really think I would drop this, knowing the things I know now? I won’t leave this alone, even if anyone took me away from the case.” She paused to string her next few words together, the images of her past flashing by her again.  _ No, it won’t happen again, not if she had anything to do with it.  _ “And I won’t do it to you, I promise. Yong, I’ve been through it myself, I won’t wish it on anyone, especially not you.”

She paused as she watched every twitch of Yongsun’s eyelids, every tremble in the corners of her mouth. She was terrified, and Moonbyul knew why, but she didn’t know how else to comfort her.

“I won’t let it come to that. I love you.”

Yongsun responded by crashing their lips together. The kiss was all-consuming, and it felt like the first and last kiss all at once. There was a rough tug on the hair at the nape of Moonbyul’s neck, an accidental gesture that conveyed all the urgency and desperation Yongsun was dying to pour out into the kiss. They could taste the salty tears still streaming down their faces, Moonbyul using her thumb to gently smooth them away on Yongsun’s cheeks.

Inches apart, their shared breaths mingled between them as they broke apart and let their foreheads rest against each other.

“I really can’t lose you, Byul-ah.” Yongsun whispered, her hand still cradling against the back of the other girl’s head, thumb gently circling behind her ears. “Promise me. You will look out for yourself too. For me.”

“I will. I promise.” Moonbyul smiled the first genuine smile that day, leaning into the comforting caress. 

They fell asleep on the couch soon after, Moonbyul nestled in Yongsun’s protective hold, using the warmth between them to make up for the lack of blankets.

The shrill ring of the doorbell woke them both up. Moonbyul sat up immediately, blinking rapidly to clear her head. She reached for the baton she had stuffed into the seat of the couch, another form of defence she had set up for them. She pried away Yongusn’s death grip on her shirt, beckoning for her to hide behind the couch, whilst making her way towards the door without even a hint of an audible footstep.

“Moonbyul-unnie, Yongsun-unnie, it’s me!” Wheein’s voice sounded through the door. The two older girls let out a loud sigh of relief, before Moonbyul stood up from her crouched position and lowered her weapon, cracking open the door to Wheein and Hyejin standing there with bags of food in hand.

“Do you two know we are on high alert for a stalker? Knocking on the door at night? Really?” Yongsun chided, crawling out from her spot from behind the couch, whining at the way her bones creaked in protest. She sweared loudly, uttering under her breath about  _ these kids _ , but opened her arms to receive Wheein’s hug nonetheless.

“I tried to call you, unnie, but you didn’t answer. And Yongsun unnie’s phone was switched off.” Hyejin argued, showing her call logs of over ten calls to Moonbyul, before switching to another open app. “The only reason we didn’t call for help immediately was because your Find My Friends was on.”

“You haven’t eaten right? Please tell us we guessed right, or you are going to have to help with all this food we bought regardless.” Wheein gestured to the bags on the table, pulling out a terrifying amount of food.

“Are you feeding four or forty people?” Yongsun stood frozen to the ground, looking like she was offended by the way the table filled out with Wheein’s...  _ choices _ .

She was dragged by a giggling Moonbyul to a seat at the table, the four girls beginning to make their way through the portions. They talked about the day, and more tears were shed, until Wheein had enough and put a gag order on that topic entirely. They fell into easier conversation then, sharing embarrassing stories about each others’ best friends from the earlier days of their friendship.

Throughout the meal, Hyejin looked around at all her unnies, feeling beyond grateful that in the moment, though such a dark cloud sat above them, they still managed to find the light in the dark and enjoyed the meal for what it was, a hug of comfort.

She had to hold Wheein as she cried her heart out, just a few hours before. The girl had appeared in the bar, barely holding in her sobs, and letting it all go the moment Hyejin brought her into her arms. She listened as Wheein told her everything, about almost losing Yongsun, about how she had been living in fear for her best friend’s life ever since the threat arised, that one day she would wake up to find out that the culprit had succeeded in doing whatever he set out to do.

She looked at her now, a genuine, wide smile stretching from dimple to dimple, a sparkle in her eyes that never seemed to go away, and marvelled at how much strength she possessed. 

Hyejin met Moonbyul’s gaze from across the table, and smiled warmly at her. They knew each other inside out, and it didn’t take words to say what she wanted to say. She knew what her friend was thinking too, as she watched Moonbyul’s eyes spend time on each of the other three in the room, lost in her thoughts. 

_ All four of them, although mere strangers months ago, were family now. And they would watch the world burn at their feet if it meant keeping each other safe. _

By some miracle, they finished all of the food, groaning at the bloatedness when they got up to clean the table. It was almost ten by the time they were done tidying up, putting up the washed dishes and returning the dining room to the state it was before.

Halfway through, Moonbyul left them to pick up a call. She returned a short while later, announcing curtly that it was late and that the younger two should get going.

“Was that Seulgi-unnie?” Hyejin ignored what she said, not getting up from the couch she was comfortably on. She felt her friend send her death glare on the back of her head, but didn’t care. “She called to give you updates on Yongsun-unnie’s case?”

“Are you staying up to work the case? Do it here, we’re accompanying you.” Wheein continued, the two other girls nodding in agreement. 

Moonbyul sighed, but she felt a smile creep onto her lips, her heart warming at the offer. She didn’t object, turning back into the study to grab everything she needed before plopping down next to the other three on the space in front of the couch.

Wheein and her set up a workstation on the coffee table, while Yongsun and Hyejin busied themselves in the kitchen making tea for all of them. They pored over the stacks of information, from the analysis of each message’s contents to the lab results of every test done on the parcels. and especially the new set of reports that Seulgi had sent over.

There was a list of places in South Korea where that person could have obtained the cyanide from, but the list wasn’t exhaustive, and it didn’t include the possibility that the cyanide was not of local origin. Still, Moonbyul did her research on every option in that list, scouring all the available information for leads.

“There’s something I don’t understand. If this person is a fan, why try to kill me? Wouldn’t he just try to get close to me?” Yongsun questioned, perplexed by the thought of any of her fans harbouring homicidal thoughts towards her.

“You know, don’t underestimate what some people are capable of. Maybe this person just wants your attention, no matter what form you give it to them in. Perhaps they just want you to acknowledge their existence, and would stop at nothing for you to do that.” Hyejin explained, before picking up the card that came along with the bottle. “Or maybe, he has the mentality that if he can’t have you, no one else should too.”

“I just find it hard to accept. After years where all they did was shower me with love, it’s just hard to imagine a future where I have to be suspicious of them.

“Years ago, maybe I would have said the same unnie. But things are different now. Your fanbase is so much bigger than before, it's not possible for each and every one of them to be the same kind of good. There would be a few along the way that don’t have the best intentions.” Wheein pushed the cup of tea into the older girl’s hands, nudging her to take a sip. 

Yongsun obeyed as she tried to rationalise everything, knowing in her heart that they were right. She wasn’t naive, she knew that her fans had long gone from being a supportive group of friends to a wildly incomparable crowd of countless unknown faces from all walks of life. She thought about how they mobbed her in the past, her safety coming second to their chance to see or touch her, and yeah, it didn’t seem that far of a stretch to think about one in that thousand faces harbouring thoughts that were extreme enough to have caused this hell on her life.

“I think I’m going to go back to the office tomorrow to talk to CEO-nim about a public statement about this. Not to reveal anything, but just as a warning to the more over-the-top fans.” Wheein suggested after a while, putting the report she was reading back down onto the table.

“I doubt that would do much for that person in particular, but it will help prevent anymore, hopefully. I can help draft it too, an input from BG would be helpful.” Moonbyul added. She looked around at all their tired faces staring back at her, and realised that she was the only one capable of running on no sleep all the time, and the other girls were exhausted.

“Okay. Let’s go sleep. We’ll leave everything to tomorrow.” She said, shutting her laptop down while shoo-ing the girls up from their lazy sprawls around the coffee table.

Wheein and Hyejin headed to the guest bedroom after saying their good nights, Moonbyul and Yongsun going to the master bedroom.

They tucked the blanket under their chins, fumbling around the dark, Yongsun happily obliging when Moonbyul insisted on being the big spoon. She laid a kiss on Moonbyul’s lips before turning around, letting her tuck her knees behind hers.

Moonbyul nuzzled close, seeking comfort in their closeness, but everything that happened that day just kept playing over and over again as soon as she shut her eyes. 

“Yong-ah,” she whispered, her breath tickling the older girl’s ear. “If I have a nightmare tonight, just…”

“I know what you’re worried about. Just sleep well, alright? Don’t worry.” Yongsun whispered back, content when she felt the nod against her shoulder in reply.

It was 5am when it happened, and Yongsun was there to hold her throughout it all.

* * *

_ “Joint public statement by: TRH Entertainment and BG Academy. On behalf of our artist/client Miss Kim Yong Sun, also known as Solar, we would like to denounce any attempts at breaching her privacy, or any behaviour that puts her safety at risk. All articles of mail and gift items would be thoroughly vetted before being passed onto her. _

_ Her safety and wellbeing is of our utmost priority, and we would not hesitate to take immediate legal action against anyone found responsible for such attempts. Please continue to support her in a responsible and rational manner. Thank you.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: no cops in any of my stories <3 this fic is coming to an end pretty soon, so if you have any other prompts for moonsun, you can drop it in the comments! it can be either one-shot or full fics like these one, but just know that at the moment i'm only writing moonsun. thank you for reading!!
> 
> also also, really importantly, if there are any tw that i've missed out on so far, feel free to comment it or dm me to let me know to include it


	20. chapter twenty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: violence, blood

In the next few weeks after the statement was published, there was a day when everyone held their breaths in the office for a minute, when a delivery man knocked on the company doors to deliver a pizza that nobody ordered. It turned out that it was the wrong address, and it was then that the mood in the office slowly crept back to normal. 

During the short hiatus, the Academy sent a small team to Seoul, juniors that Moonbyul requested for and trusted, forming the extra security detail that they couldn’t risk not having. The company tried to clean up the fallout of all those last-minute cancellations and dropping out of events, slowly but surely stacking up Yongsun’s schedule again. 

The new security team spent the weeks tightening their safety measures, and the staff at the company had the time to ease Yongsun back into work, getting promotions in order and putting schedules together. It almost felt like any other hiatus between shoots and projects. 

It was almost as if that day didn’t happen.  _ Almost. _

But then some nights, it was Yongsun who would wake up drenched in sweat, crying and reaching for her girlfriend across the bed. 

“I was just sitting there, I was awake but I think I was dead, I-” She choked out the words in between gasps of breaths, as she tried focusing on Moonbyul’s soothing pats on her hair. “I was watching you and Wheein cry, you were crying so much and I couldn’t hold you or comfort you, all I could do was watch.”

Moonbyul’s heart constricted tightly in her chest. Was this what it felt like being in Yongsun’s shoes, holding her through all her nightmares? Because it hurt like a physical wound, seeing the girl take pained intakes of air as she tried to calm down. She did everything Yongsun did for her, wrapping her up in an embrace, grounding her back to the safety of their room with whispered words against her ears. 

Finally, the panic that was in Yongsun’s eyes was washed out with an exhausted daze. Moonbyul released her slightly, pulling back an inch until Yongsun’s face came into focus. 

“Better?” She asked, pushing back the sweat-soaked fringe from the older girl’s forehead.

“Can we talk about something?” Yongsun replied after a brief moment of hesitation. It was 2am, she was exhausted, but that thought that had been nagging away at her refused to let her rest. Moonbyul could see the conflict in her pleading eyes, so she nodded, and Yongsun spoke, looking at a spot past her shoulder, anywhere but back at her.

“Do you think, maybe, we’re going too fast?” She saw the face of utter confusion in the blurry corner of her eye, and she paused for an even longer time, picking and choosing her words even more carefully. “Sujeong was important to you, wasn’t she? At some point you must have loved her a lot, and do you think that maybe, just maybe, you haven’t given yourself enough time to grieve?”

“I had my doubts. I doubted myself about this too, I kept questioning myself if this is fair to you. But I know that I’ve moved on. Ever since that night at Huangpu river, I know for a fact that I’ve moved on.” Moonbyul answered so quickly that it surprised even herself, and she thought that she sounded surer than she felt.

Yongsun stared unblinkingly at her as she spoke, watching the night sky reflect back into Moonbyul’s eyes, just like that night at the river.

“I only asked this because… Sometimes it feels like,  _ I’m your last chance _ , that because you haven’t fully healed from losing her, that I hold too much… control. That I don’t want. That if anything happened you would never, ever stand back up again. Byul-ah I know you’re strong but, this thought scares me.”

“Yong…”

“I know, I know, not to talk about possibly dying and shit but fuck, Byul, just what if that happened? At first I thought it was just a matter of you not having moved on properly, that maybe I was just a rebound, and I was willing to just keep trying to be enough for you. I was happy to just have you and try to love you until one day you properly loved me back. But then I see you in those dreams, breaking, because I was your last chance at being vulnerable to love.”

“Yong, stop.” At some point, their tears just started falling, leaving a wet patch on the pillow they were sharing. 

“Stop saying that, please. Yeah, I would fall apart if I ever lost you, of course I would, but it isn’t going to be because you’re my second chance or anything like that. I did think about that, if I had feelings for you because I saw you as a chance to prove to myself that I’m capable of protecting the people I loved for once. But you were never a rebound, you were never meant to replace anyone, I fell in love with you, as your own person.” 

Guilt flooded in waves through Yongsun’s heart at that, for doubting Moonbyul’s intentions, for thinking she somehow had to fix her to earn her love. 

“I can hear your thoughts, so stop thinking it too.” The guard pouted, bumping the tip of Yongsun’s nose with her finger. 

Yongsun gave an even more dramatic pout, swatting away at her, but couldn’t help chuckling at their childishness.

“I won’t let this slide, but can we talk about it tomorrow? You know I have to be at the gym by 6am.” Moonbyul whined at her, snaking her arms around Yongsun’s waist again. They flipped the pillow to the side free of tear-stains, and Yongsun let Moonbyul perch her chin on her shoulder as they tried to fall back asleep.

“Thank you for loving me, Byul-ah.” She whispered into the darkness, and the only indication that Moonbyul heard her was a pair of soft lips against the side of her neck.

* * *

They did talk about it again the next morning, over the breakfast that Yongsun painstakingly prepared, after Moonbyul returned from her training session. In the end, all Yongsun knew was that all that stress and pressure she put on herself before, to be the perfect  _ last chance  _ for Moonbyul, was stupid. 

She treated this relationship as if she was that single life remaining before the game is over, but she should have known her girlfriend better, that even when she had doubted her own heart, Yongsun shouldn’t have. 

Yongsun was glad she got to resolve those thoughts spinning around in her mind, before she was officially needed back at work. Wheein wasn’t kidding when she held her shoulders one day, apologetic, as she advised her to sleep while she could. 

It was overwhelming and dizzying, being whisked from car to car, place to place, sandwiched by a group of four guards led by her own girlfriend as she had to jump straight back into filming for a major project that was previously halted to wait for her. 

They worked even harder to keep the schedule confidential, only letting relevant staffers know, trying their best to keep locations and timings from being leaked. It worked out well, because there wasn’t a single venue that was filled out by waiting fans before she arrived, and they managed to get away with a whole month of intensive filming without any information being leaked out.

Yongsun was barely tolerating the tightened measures, telling herself each time that it was to give everyone who cared about her a peace of mind. Then a day came when she came so close to snapping, when the other three newer guards showed up at the doorstep of Moonbyul’s house without a sound, while her own lips were attached to Moonbyul’s. The wooden door was fully open, and when she saw their eyes on the two of them, she felt her heart sink into her stomach. 

“They know, Yong, it’s okay, they know.” Moonbyul grabbed her arms immediately to steady her, sensing the rising anxiety in her girlfriend.

“Yeah, Byulyi-sunbaenim is gay as hell, everyone in BG Academy knows.” One of them remarked indifferently, raising her wrist to check the time. “Now can we please be on our way? Yall can continue in the car.”

Yongsun was stock-still, only moving when she felt Moonbyul’s hand slip into hers, tugging her along. She learnt, on the car ride to the filming location, how accepting the Academy was towards Moonbyul’s sexuality. She wanted to cry tears of happiness with that knowledge, that Moonbyul had the support she so deserved, but then one of the juniors said something insolently cheeky that made Moonbyul send a merciless kick to the front seat, and so she let her tears be private ones, laughing along with the rest of them in that car.

Filming seemed to have gone on forever, the day feeling particularly long because of how much they had to repeat some scenes just because of disturbances that could not be otherwise removed in post-production. The security team never strayed too far, standing in pairs on either end of the set and keeping eyes on their client throughout the many hours of the shoot. 

It was just past dinner time when they were all handed packets of food to eat while waiting, except the actors and actresses who were still needed on camera. Wheein and Moonbyul scooted away from their posts, driving up to the nearest hole-in-the-wall restaurant to grab Yongsun her dinner.

The day’s work wrapped up just as they returned to the set with the steaming bowls of tteokbokki in their hands. Yongsun’s face lit up, letting out noises of happiness as she ditched her usual professional demeanour, skipping towards the two of them with the sound technician chasing after her for the lavalier mic.

The set managers were clearing out the location, so they continued eating in the car, Yongsun feeding Moonbyul as she drove them back to town. 

Naturally, they stopped at Hyejin’s bar. They didn’t let the threats stop them from having this, but just for safety sake, Jihyun and Heekyung from the security team joined them, although the duo usually preferred sitting at a nearby table while the four girls took up the private room. 

Hyejin was behind the bar wiping down some glasses when the three of them scurried past her to the booth hidden at the back, their two younger guard friends trailing behind resignedly. She giggled at the amusing sight, signalling for the other bartender to take over before heading to the booth too, bringing a tray of drinks and snacks with her, leaving two bottles at Jihyun and Heekyung’s table. 

“Of all the stray cats that ran in here today you three are the biggest, congratulations.” Hyejin said, setting the tray down.

Wheein threw a peanut at her in annoyance, but Hyejin caught it in her mouth, making Wheein pout more indignantly.

“How else were we supposed to sneak in here without getting seen, Hyejin-ssi?” Wheein questioned, crossing her arms.

“Walk in? Like normal? I’m pretty sure the whole bar turned to look at you earlier because three adults running across a bar like a single conjoined unit wasn’t something they see every day.” The two younger girls continued bickering, Moonbyul taking pleasure in adding fuel to the flames every now and then, sending them into an even heated discussion. 

It’s become so routine now, spending the nights unwinding at the bar, basking in each other’s company. For a few hours each day, they talked about anything but work. Sometimes, they hijacked the karaoke booth at the back of the bar, the four of them squeezing into the space meant for one and screaming their lungs out into the tiny, sad excuse of a microphone. Kihyun and Heekyung informed them that  _ yes of course we can hear you, the walls aren’t exactly soundproofed really well _ , but they didn’t care.

Moonbyul limited herself to one beer a night now, always making sure she could drive them back herself. That night, Yongsun excused herself even earlier than usual, for there were stacks of scripts she had to study up for the next day’s filming waiting for her at home.

Moonbyul wanted to keep her company for moral support, but she did already promise Hyejin to help with the bar’s closing, with a new delivery of stocks arriving later in the night that needed more hands to help unpack. Yongsun understood, and Moonbyul groaned when she nagged about coming home too late when she had training at the crack of dawn the next day.

She drove Yongsun home first, together with her juniors, the three of them seeing her into the house before they left. 

“You seem happier now.” Hyejin said when her friend returned to that booth in the bar, Wheein fast asleep on her lap. 

“Oh? How so?” Moonbyul replied lazily, sitting down opposite the couple and swirled the soda in her glass like it was wine.

“With Yongsun unnie, you seem happier.” Hyejin continued, smoothing over the fabric of her girlfriend’s sleeve. “Ever since… that incident... you haven’t been yourself. I haven’t seen you smile so much in so long, I’ve missed it.”

Moonbyul’s heart stirred at that. She reflected on all the months after the incident, how she was shrunken in on herself, barely functioning. She remembered refusing therapy, even when the Academy held her job over her head, and she only gave in when her juniors and batchmates banded together to drag her to it.

Hyejin was by her side through it all, taking care of her, making sure she ate and slept. She felt bad all of a sudden, looking at the younger girl sitting in the booth opposite her.

“Sorry, Hyejin-ah.” Moonbyul started softly. “I wasn’t a good unnie back then, relying on you for everything. I didn’t even cook for you when you had to pull those late nights alone in the bar. I didn’t take care of you well enough.”

Hyejin’s head whipped up, surprised at the sudden confession.

“You were healing, I didn’t expect you to look after me, don’t ever apologise again, you hear me?” She said sternly, tempted to get up and give the other girl a hug had there not been a sleeping Wheein on her lap.

“Besides, you have to learn to let others take care of you sometimes. You’re always trying to protect everyone, trying to take care of everyone, maybe it’s time to learn to accept it when others do the same for you too.” Sincerity was poured into every word, and Moonbyul wondered quietly, exactly when did Hyejin become this steady pillar of strength for her instead of the other way around.

Moonbyul let out a proud sigh, reaching over to give the other girl’s cheek an affectionate pinch.

“I never expected to like anyone else again.” Moonbyul said quietly, like a shy confession she couldn’t bear to say any louder. “And then Yongsun came along.”

“Do you love her?”

“Of course I-”  _ She does. Fallen so deeply in love, it scared her.  _ “I do love her. Very much.”

It was so easy to say that now. It was so natural, like breathing. It was easy to say it to Yongsun, but somehow, to Hyejin, who’d seen her through every single crush, relationship and love, these words carried a lot more weight.

“Unnie, you’re afraid, aren’t you?” Hyejin’s voice broke her out of her reverie.

_ Afraid? No, she was utterly terrified.  _ The conversations she had with Yongsun surfaced in her memory again.

“I can’t lose her too, Hyejin-ah.” 

“I know you can’t, and that’s why you have all of us, and we’re all going to make sure it never happens, okay?”

Moonbyul could still feel her heart pounding against her chest at that thought, but decided to grit her teeth and trust in her best friend’s words. It wasn’t just her now, everyone was standing by them, and she could feel how much stronger she was with that knowledge.

The girls let the moment breathe in the comfortable ambience of the bar, until it was time to receive the new stocks. They finished unpacking in less than an hour, working faster with the tempting incentive of going home sooner. When they were done, Hyejin went back to the booth, tenderly rousing Wheein from her sleep.

They made their way back to Moonbyul’s car, Wheein clinging on to Hyejin the whole ride.

“Someone’s whipped.” Moonbyul commented, smirking at her best friend through the rearview mirror. Hyejin had been staring unabashedly at Wheein’s sleeping face, with the softest of smiles resting on her lips, and affection practically pouring out of her eyes.

“I don’t tease you and Yongsun-unnie enough. You two are grosser than we are.”

“Have you seen yourself? You’re always looking like you’re gonna astral project with love for your Wheeinie.”

“I was  _ looking _ . Normally.”

“Pardon my language, but do you know what eye-fucking means, Hyejin-ah?” 

“Byul-ssi if you don’t-”

“Unnie, Hyejin, I have ears, you know.” Wheein’s soft and sleep-fuzzed voice shut the other two up, Moonbyul suppressing her laughter while stealing glances at the rear mirror. Hyejin was red as a tomato, stock-still with Wheein’s head still resting in her arms.

They spent the rest of the ride in silence. Moonbyul dropped both girls off at Hyejin’s flat as planned, winding down the window to tease them one last time before speeding off.

She pulled up in her usual parking spot at the back end of her apartment, hugging her steering wheel after the engines died down, taking the absolute silence in the car to internalise what Hyejin told her in the bar. By chance, the faint light from the dim street lamp hit the floor of the passenger seat. Moonbyul spotted the flash of navy blue just as she was stepping out of the car. 

_ Of course, you’re enough of a klutz to not realise that you weren’t wearing a jacket home, Yong. _ She picked it up off the floor of the car, holding it close to herself when she could still smell Yongsun’s perfume on it, and made her way up the short slope to the entrance of her apartment.

She was halfway up the slope, and it hit her faster than she could react.

There was a piece of cloth over her mouth, and a sharp stabbing pain at the top of her neck. She kicked into action in the next breath, sending her elbow flying backwards with a brutal force into the attacker’s middle. The cloth in her mouth stayed there firmly, the attacker not seeming to have weakened from the punches at all.

Moonbyul felt the back of her neck go numb, but bit her tongue and riled herself, using the strength from all her training to break out of the attacker's hold. She dropped smoothly into a roll onto the ground, chills going up her spine when she looked up and saw the unaffected look on the attacker’s face. His face was set in determination, and the amount of hatred in his eyes made her blood run cold. She reached for the only weapon she had on her - her car keys. Holding one sticking out of her clenched fist like a knife, she slashed forward, only to find her aim missed by almost a foot.

Her vision doubled, and she blinked desperately in a weak attempt to clear it. She was still fighting, not giving up, slashing forward without much finesse but feeling the key in her hand finally making contact with the attacker. With her eyesight blurred, she used the sound of the slashes and the subsequent whooshes of air as the man dodged, to set aim for her next attack.

The numbness was quickly travelling down her neck to her shoulders, and it wasn’t even thirty seconds later when the key dropped cleanly out of her fist. Moonbyul knew she had to run. There was an empty syringe rolling down the slope next to her, and no doubt its contents were injected into her.

With whatever strength she had left, she aimed for the man’s shin with her boot. He was sent knee-first onto the ground, and she took the sliver of chance to knee him in the face. A loud groan followed, the man holding his nose in pain.

She did not hesitate. She made a run for it in the direction of where she knew she could be spotted by someone, at least heading out of the seclusion of the dark parking lots.

She didn’t make it far before the unmistakable sound of torn flesh was heard. She collapsed onto the ground, her hand instinctively going to her side where the attacker caught up to her and plunged a knife into. The last thing she saw was the man’s smiling but bloody face, before the intense blinding pain coupled with the chemical racing through her veins made her lose consciousness completely.


	21. chapter twenty-one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> t/w: blood, violence

_ “byul-ssiiiiiiii” _

_ “i know you’re still at the centre but text me when you’re leaving! i’ll heat up the breakfast” _

Yongsun turned off the low heat she had put on her beef stew, unlooping the apron hanging from her neck. The time on the clock read 6:59am, which meant that Moonbyul was probably in her last few reps of her training session. 

Yongsun’s fists found her eyes, trying but failing to rub away the grogginess clouding her vision. The handwritten recipe for the stew that was on the fridge before was somewhere in the mess on the stovetop, and so she haphazardly packed the place until she retrieved that piece of paper.

It was still perhaps about half an hour before her Moonbyul was going to be home, so she figured it would be alright to take a nap while she could. She kicked her feet up on the couch, after having dragged the comforter from the bedroom over, and closed her eyes.

“Yongsun-ssi? Yongsun-ssi!” 

“...Go... away.”

“Yongsun-ssi, it’s us, are you okay?” 

She shot right up.  _ Ya, shit. _ She fumbled for her phone in the heap of comforters pooled around her hips, the time on her lockscreen screaming back in her face. How the fuck did she fall asleep for more than an hour?

“Byul-ah your kids are here.” Yongsun yelled into the house, annoyance and confusion filling her when she remembered the uneaten pot of stew still sitting on the stove, and the fact that Moonbyul didn’t wake her up.

“Yongsun-ssi, were you still sleeping? Neither you or Byulyi-sunbaenim answered our calls, you’re going to be late.” Kihyun questioned when Yongsun unlocked the door for them, following behind her like a mother hen. 

_ Moonbyul didn’t answer their calls either? _ She held up a hand that told them to wait, heading quickly to the bedroom. It was empty, and so was the ensuite bathroom. The other rooms of the house were unoccupied too, and with every room that she checked, the more she felt the odd feeling in her gut rise up her throat.

The junior guards were calling out to her, puzzled by her behaviour. 

Finally, she returned to the middle of the living room where they were awkwardly standing around.

“I can’t find Byulyi.” She said plainly, hands clenched on her hips.

“What do you mean? Did she go out? Does she know what time it is?” Heekyung took out her own phone with an impatient huff, pulling up her senior’s contact.

“Wait, I’ll call.” Yongsun interrupted. There wasn’t a single reply to her earlier messages when she glanced at the top status of her phone before dialling. “Byul was supposed to be back by seven-thirty, she went out to train at 6.”

\---

“This is what you are going to do.” 

There was a sharp, cold blade leaning precariously against the delicate skin of her neck. A cloth of sorts was wrapped around her head and squeezing her eyes shut, but she didn’t need to see to know that she should not move even a hair with that knife on her.

“You are going to talk to Solar like normal, lie if you must, but if you say anything wrong,” the gruff voice continued, and the blade dug even more into her skin to drive his point. She could hear some rustling, before Yongsun’s voice sounded out, loud and clear.

_ “Byul? Where the hell are you?”  _ God, it felt like months since she heard Yongsun’s voice, relief washing through her when she realised that it meant that Yongsun was safe.

“At the centre. Sorry, I met an old friend, I lost track of time.” She struggled to speak, when she could feel every word move up against the sharp edge of the blade. 

_ “Old friend?” _ There was a pause, and Moonbyul could almost picture Yongsun pursing her lips together in thought.  _ “Are you okay, Byul-ah, you sound weird.” _

“Yeah, yeah I am. I will be right over when I’m done here.” 

“ _ You sure you’re okay, you sound-” _

“Yongsun, I’ll talk to you later, okay? Rude to be on the phone and all.” The words left her mouth in a mumbled rush, the tremble of the blade telling her that the man next to her was getting anxious.

_ “Hey, don’t-”  _ It was all she heard, before there was silence again. 

\----

“Yongsun-ssi, we really have to go.” Yoonmi shared worried glances with her other two guard friends, when Yongsun just stood there with her phone clutched in her hand, unmoving.

“You don’t get it, something isn’t right. Byul doesn’t just miss work because she ran into an old friend. And she won’t miss all those messages and calls earlier too.” 

“What, you think she’s cheating on you or something?” Kihyun asked, an eyebrow raised in question. 

“No, what the hell no, it’s just-”

“Then let’s go first, Yongsun-ssi. We’ll get you to the company first, then figure out who is this friend she’s meeting together. You’re really, really late.” The junior guard cut in, with an urgent glance at his watch. The other two nodded in agreement, looking at her expectantly. 

Yongsun let out a resigned sigh, turning to her room to get ready as fast as she could. There was still that weird throbbing feeling in her gut as she stared at herself in the mirror, and it didn’t go away even as she stepped into the car minutes later, Moonbyul’s juniors surrounding her protectively in their usual formation. 

When she arrived at the company, Wheein was by her side immediately, running her through her dizzyingly packed schedule for the day. There was a whole list of filming locations and agenda details that was being recited to her, but every word was flying over her head. 

“Wait. Where’s Moonbyul-unnie and Kihyun?” The manager stopped herself mid-speech, looking past her shoulder at Heekyung and Yoonmi.

“MIA and looking for her, respectively.” Wheein’s mouth formed around a silent  _ what _ , brows furrowed in a daze. 

Yongsun pulled her aside, out of earshot of everyone else, before relating the whole morning to her.

“I made Kihyun go to the centre to look for her. Just to make sure she’s there.” Yongsun took a deep inhale, gulping past the lump of dread in her throat. “I don’t know Wheein, I can just sense that something is wrong, she would never just disappear like that without at least telling me, especially not if she knew I have to film today. It’s just not her.”

“I know. Unnie would never leave you alone to come here yourself, not even if there's the other three now.” Wheein held Yongsun’s hand when she caught it trembling from the corner of her eye. “Let’s not panic, we’ll wait for Kihyun, and I’ll ask Hyejin if she knows anything. In the meantime, you have to get your makeup and hair done. Sorry, unnie, we can’t hold up the schedule.”

Yongsun nodded in understanding, giving the hand in hers a reassuring squeeze, letting Wheein lead her to the dressing room where the styling team were all already waiting.

She obediently sat in her chair to let her team work at her, but the room was eerily quiet without her and Wheein’s usual toss of chaos. The stylists and makeup artists noticed it, but she guessed that no one dared to ask, not with the way her eyelids shivered as they were putting on the eyeshadow, or the vacant stare at her own reflection when her hair was being curled.

Wheein came into the view of the dressing mirror, her phone clutched in her outreached hand.

“It’s Hyejin.” She said, walking over with quick steps and shoving the phone at Yongsun’s ear. 

“ _ Unnie? _ ” Hyejin started, her voice already tinged with what Yongsun hoped she wouldn’t hear.  _ “Byulyi’s phone is turned off. Her Find-my-friends is off, and her calls are not getting connected.” _

“So her phone was switched off right after the earlier call? Why would she do that?” 

_ “I don’t know, but Wheein mentioned that she met an old friend? The only person I can think of is Seulgi, her junior from the Academy, but I’ve called her and she’s not even in Seoul. I can’t figure out who Byulyi would be with right now.”  _

Yongsun didn’t reply, silently processing Hyejin’s words. The phone vibrated once next to her ear, and when she pulled away, Kihyun’s name came up.

“Don’t hang up, I’m putting you on hold.” She instructed curtly, before receiving the incoming call. 

_ “Byulyi-sunbaenim is not at the centre. Neither did she come here at all today. The receptionist said that she missed her booked slot.”  _

Yongsun felt her heart drop even more. Nothing felt right, everything was screaming at her to run out, take a car and chase after wherever Moonbyul may be.

“Kihyun, meet us at Byulyi’s apartment, we’ll be on our way there.”

Once the words left her mouth, the hairstylist saw it coming this time, snatching the hot curling wand out of Yongsun’s way as he watched her grab Wheein’s hand and ran out of the dressing room. 

Wheein let herself be led out, not looking up from her phone, typing out a brief explanation to Hyejin. 

Yongsun raced down the hallway, dragging the younger girl with her, stopping short at the secretary’s desk. People were peeking out of the other rooms, startled by the sudden commotion so early in the morning.

“Something’s happened to Moonbyul, tell the CEO sorry, I have to leave now, I can’t make it for today’s shoot.” The man came out of the office just as he was mentioned, shrugging on his jacket.

“What happened? You can’t just leave like that.” He was firm in his words, but she was firmer, unclipping the small roller that was left in her hair.

“Moonbyul went missing, and I am going to find her, with or without your permission.”

“That’s enough Yongsun, you cannot cancel an entire day of filming just because your security guard didn’t show up for work.” He crossed the distance, gripping onto her free hand.

“I said, she went missing. She didn’t pick up her calls, she isn’t where she said she was. I think something happened to her, so fire me if you must, I am leaving.” She spat the words back at him, yanking her hand out of his grip. There was an echo of gasps around the office, as she turned sharply and walked out of the company doors with Wheein close behind her. 

“Wait.” The CEO called out, letting out an exasperated exhale. He uttered a few words to his secretary, making sure she nodded in acknowledgement before reaching for the car keys in his pocket. “Let’s go. I’ll drive. Fill me in on the way.” 

The two other junior guards joined them on the way out, and the five of them headed for the car. The CEO had listened quietly as the four of them took turns telling him everything that had happened, and for a moment after, it almost seemed as though he was skeptical of the severity of the situation. But then he stepped on the pedals, a grave and determined look taking over his face. 

They stopped right where Hyejin and Kihyun were anxiously pacing at the entrance of Moonbyul’s apartment building, and they hopped out of the car right away.

They ran up to the flat together, Yongsun unlocking and throwing open the door she had just closed less than an hour ago. The others stopped at the entrance, unsure of where to start, or what even to look for, but Yongsun knew.

She walked briskly across the living room, turning down the handle to the study and disappearing into it for a short few seconds before coming back out with a laptop.

“Wait, Yongsun-ssi, is that sunbaenim’s study room? Where she works cases in?” Heekyung asked, and Yoonmi who was beside her, was trying to look past her to peek into the room.

“What about it?” Yongsun typed the password she remembered while answering them, swearing inaudibly when she got it wrong on the first attempt.

“That room should be locked, why was it unlocked like that, was there someone else-”

“No. It has always been unlocked.” It was a half-truth. Yongsun knew that there was sensitive information in there, and when she realised that it was unlocked one day, all Moonbyul explained was ‘I trust you’, and that door had never been locked since.

The juniors went silent in understanding. They did not utter even a word after that, not while in the company of the CEO. 

“She didn’t come home last night.” Yongsun said under her breath, staring at the grainy, sped up footage of the three camera feeds playing on the laptop screen. All of them were watching it together, and noticing the one thing missing from the scenes. 

At the 11:30pm timestamp, the four of them were seen walking into frame together, Yongsun and Moonbyul disappearing out of frame into the house, but then the guard reappeared again, leaving in the direction of the lifts with her two juniors. From then on, the footage kept playing out, the time at the bottom right of the screen moving blurringly quickly. But Moonbyul was nowhere to be seen again.

“2.15am. That’s when unnie dropped me off, she should reach home by 2.40am, no later than that.” Hyejin supplied.

Heekyung helped Yongsun rewind the tape back, but it was the same the second time they watched it. They watched the minutes slip by the 3am mark, but yet Moonbyul did not come back into the frame as she was supposed to.

_ She didn’t even come home last night, and I didn’t even notice?  _ Yongsun couldn’t help the spate of self-blame that was threatening to overcome her, her mind racing through the events of the morning again and trying to pinpoint the clues that she had missed. The too-neat left side of the bed, the cup that Moonbyul usually drank her fruit juice out of but would always forget to wash up, missing from its place on the table. Red flags after red flags, and yet she missed all of them.

“She has a designated parking spot, doesn’t she? Let’s check there first.” Wheein suggested. She could sense the anxiousness rising off her friend, and could almost hear all of her guilt and fear she was feeling. 

They all raced downstairs, the junior guards leading the way, and Yongsun felt tears of worry fall onto her cheeks. She scolded herself inwardly, roughly wiping them away with her sleeves, telling herself it was not the time to cry.

It was Hyejin who spotted the black G-class first, parked in its place, orderly and in line, as if nothing was out of the ordinary. The door was locked, and the darkened screens were rolled up on the windows, so they could only peer into the windshield and the rear glass. Byulyi was not in there, and everything else was as Hyejin and Wheein had remembered. 

“Unnie, isn’t that yours?” Wheein piped up suddenly, pointing to something on the ground further along the lane of parked cars. There laying in a heap on the ground, was the familiar navy blue hue of the blazer she had on last night. She racked her mind for a moment, realising that she only had on the blouse underneath when she reached home, the jacket having obviously been left in Moonbyul’s car.

She ran uphill towards it, knees crouched next to the outerwear. It was hers indeed, still reeking strongly of her perfume and the bit of soju she spilled on it in Hyejin’s bar last night. What she found on the sleeve, however, sent a strangled scream tumbling out of her mouth.

The rest of them broke into a run as they caught up to her, trying to see whatever she was holding in her hands. It was as if a switch was flipped, everyone rising into an organised mess as they sprung into action, the second they caught sight of the scene before them.

The sides of the blazer were stained red. Even against the dark fabric, there was no doubt that the dried liquid on it was blood. On the asphalt ground a few feet away, there was that same dark liquid, a trail of it, from droplets to small pools of it all over.

Yongsun could hear her CEO relating the situation to someone on the phone, probably Moonbyul’s bosses, but it all sounded muffled over the white noise that was flooding up her mind. There were arms around her in a second, wrapping her in their embrace. She let a breath go, but as soon as they did, the tears followed, as the worst of her fears realised itself in her hands.

* * *

There was a distant ache in her body, and it grew less distant the more she forced herself to wake up from this nightmare. The last thing she saw was darkness, listening to Yongsun’s voice through the staticky speakers of a phone, before she fell into unconsciousness again.

Moonbyul opened her eyes in a panic, only to be blinded by a bright light shining directly at her. She was seated on the ground with her back against some kind of wall, and her hands bound in shackles in front of her, with the blindfold now around her neck instead. She scanned her surroundings, noting the small, confined space, the open laptop facing her a few feet away, and the dark silhouette of a door with some painted words in red at the other end of the space. It was a container. She was in a shipment container.

The doors swung open, flooding the space with light for just a brief second, and a man stepped in before shutting the doors behind him again. He clicked the lock close, pocketing the small key.

“What do you want.” Moonbyul spat out. The man simply smirked in response, eyes still eerily locked onto hers.

“What I want,” he walked over, footsteps reverberating in the boxy room, “is for you to stay away from Solar.”

_ What? _

“And why do you want that?” She probed further, trying to assess if he’s armed besides the plethora of knives laid out on the ground beside the laptop.

“Not for you to know.” He said, inching dangerously close to her.

“You,” There were hands suddenly digging into the hollows of her cheek, the feel of cool metal against her cheekbone making whatever retort on the tip of her tongue stop itself short. “You were the one who threw it all away, weren’t you? The one everyone praised for destroying Solar’s happiness.”

“Destroying her happiness? What do you mean?” Her words had a practiced calm, not betraying her wildly beating heart at all.

“I could have been with her by now. Happy.” He teeth grinded together in barely concealed anger. “You took those gifts away from her, and now you will pay.”

“Those gifts? You mean the poisoned water? The photographs and letters? The threats?” 

“That water, that gift was supposed to bring her to me. I had the same thing, all I was waiting for was for her to go first, and I would join her as soon as she did. And you took it away from her, you ruined everything.” His tone turned threatening, and no matter how skilled she was as a trained bodyguard, she still felt the humanly undoing of dread coursing through her veins.

He let the knife slide across her cheek with a sadistic grin on his face, taking his time with it and watching the blood bead on the blade.

Moonbyul stubbornly refused to let her herself even flinch, staring him down defiantly. This man plotted over the course of months, to somehow get Yongsun’s attention, and when that failed, turned to the horrifying option of killing her then himself, probably with the sick hope of being with her in the afterlife.

This man was the one who terrorised Yongsun’s nightmares, kept her from sleeping at night, who was deep in the crowds at her events, watching, following, and plotting. And now, he had Moonbyul at the mercy of the razor sharp knife in his hand, on top of the wound in her sides that she was thankful had stopped bleeding.

“You’re a sick excuse of a person. You will never deserve her.” Moonbyul ignored her palpitating heart, throwing the words at him through gritted teeth. Even with the spotlight backlighting him and making his features all but a dark silhouette, she could feel his anger rising, the tension in that moment boiling over.

He stood up suddenly, the knife finally brought away from her face. He drew his leg back, sending it kicking forward into her side, where the wound was barely healed over. This time, she couldn’t bite back the scream of agony if she tried, curling over herself in pain. Her vision turned white for a moment, before it cleared up and she could just faintly make out the outline of his movements.

The man was pulling a coat over his shoulders, crouching down next to the pile of weapons. She could hear his heavy, fury-filled panting as he worked, tucking each knife into every pocket there was on his person, gingerly standing up again when he was done. The laptop on the floor was turned on, it’s webcam flashing green, indicating that it was online and working.

Whatever he was planning, there was obviously something he was waiting for. The screen of the laptop was still a blank grey, something she knew meant that a signal had not been connected. Was he doing this for ransom? As some sort of compensation? Or was it just for Yongsun to pay attention to him?

With the light from a single torch pointed at her and her eyes having adjusted to the shadows, she took a better look at the interior of the container. There were bottles of alcohol strewn around the floor, and some filled bottles of liquid standing to a side. The shackles binding her wrists were cast iron, with heavy chains connecting it to the wall. She almost scoffed outwardly at how ridiculously medieval it looked. Where did he even find these?

Painted on the locked doors was something she guessed was the index number of the shipping container, but the paint was badly eroded, and the second digit of the code was barely legible.

Her eyes flitted back down to herself, straightening slightly. It had been a shallow stab, nothing even possibly lethal, but she knew that the kick did more damage than she was okay with. She noticed that the small puddle of blood was pooling around her injury.  _ Bastard kicked the wound open again.  _ There was nothing she could do but try to be as still as she could to prevent it from bleeding out any more than it already had.

Time was running out.

* * *

Yongsun fell back against the wall in Moonbyul’s living room, cradling the warm cup of tea Wheein forced into her hands. Her eyes were as blank as she felt, dried tracks of tears still visible on her face. Her throat was hoarse, and she vaguely remembered screaming it that way. Everything was blurry, like a nightmare she could not climb out of.

Hyejin and Wheein sat by her side, Hyejin also beside herself in fear. Everything went downhill so quickly, that she hadn’t had the time to let it all sink in.

“That person wanted me, why didn’t they take me? Why did they have to take her?” The actress was mumbling, the monotony in her tone a sharp contrast to the sting in her words.

“Unnie, this isn’t your fault, please don’t say things like that. We still don’t know who took her, and why.” Wheein pleaded, trying to get the older girl to look at her.

“Who else would come after Byul, Wheein? Who else but the one that fucking showed up at the door that time?” Yongsun continued, her blank expression getting increasingly uncomfortable to watch.

“Byul-unnie is strong. She’ll be okay.” Hyejin said, her voice soft, but thick with tears. She was convincing herself as much as she was comforting Yongsun. “She needs you right now, unnie, we need to do everything we can to get her back.”

They watched as some emotion seeped back onto Yongsun’s face, her eyebrows knitting themselves together with cold resolve.

“And when I find that son of a bitch I will make sure he pays for what he did.” She vouched, gripping her fingers impossibly tightly on the mug she was holding. “Hyejin-ah, we’ll find her, okay?” 

Hyejin didn’t dare look up from the ground, afraid of losing control over the schooled facade of composure on her face, but she took Yongsun’s words, and repeated it to herself until maybe, just maybe, she believed it too.

Wheein got down to work, pulling up the texts in her phone, gathering all the information and things done at that point.

“We have BG Academy’s Kang Seulgi and their Senior Officer on the way to Seoul right now to join us. So far, whoever did this hasn’t given us anything. We don’t know where she’s gone, or what the motive for the attack is. The…” Wheein bit her lip, trying to suppress a new wave of emotions. “The blood on the jacket was unnie’s, they’ve compared it to her records.”

They already saw this coming, but the confirmation still felt like a punch to the gut to hear out loud.

“Yoonmi said that the last tracked location of unnie’s phone is where her car is parked, just ten minutes after the time she dropped me and Hyejin off last night. They couldn’t track where the call you had with her earlier was made. Also, there were no surveillance cameras in her neighbourhood to look at.”

“Assuming that this is the stalker from last time, why would that stalker want to attack Byul? What is the motive?” Yongsun thought aloud, and the other two girls considered her point.

“She’s your bodyguard, but for someone who wants to get as close to you as possible, maybe they see her as an obstacle, as a barrier, and this was their way of getting rid of that barrier.” Wheein suggested, realising immediately the implications of what she just said when Yongsun froze up next to her. If the culprit saw Moonbyul as nothing but an obstacle, that very well could mean that her life was meaningless to them, and killing her off was an option.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“No, you’re right. Don’t apologise.” Yongsun interjected, finally bringing herself to meet Wheein’s eyes.

A ringing tone cut through the air, an unknown number showing up on Wheein’s phone. She exchanged worried glances with the other two, picking up the call and putting it on speaker.

“Hello? This is Seulgi, from BG Academy. Is Wheein-ssi there?” A girl’s voice came through the speaker, her identity grabbing all of their attention.

“Yes speaking, what is it?” Wheein asked immediately.

“I’m calling to let you know, there is a parcel with no return address that just got delivered to your company. I’m reaching Moonbyul’s place soon, you’re there with Solar-ssi, right?”

“Yeah, I’m here too Seulgi-unnie.” Hyejin replied instead. 

“Okay great, stay there, all of you. Keep the door locked until I arrive.” The call was hung up after that, and after a while, the guard showed up at the door, herding the three of them out of the house and down to where the car was.

Back at the company, a parcel sat on the table in the locked meeting room. The staff were all given strict instructions not to attempt going in, and they listened, minding their own business dealing with the fallout of all the sudden cancelled schedules. The unlikely team filed into the room, Seulgi leading the way and putting on gloves as she walked.

Yongsun trailed closely behind, sparing a moment to glance around the room. There was a man she didn’t recognise, but from the way the others were addressing him, she worked out that he was the senior officer of the academy. Besides him, there was her own CEO, Wheein, Hyejin, Seulgi, and the three other junior guards. 

_ Look how many of us are here for you, Byul-ah,  _ she thought.  _ We’ll find you, we won’t let go no matter what. _

The parcel in the middle of the table was a brown envelope, small compared to all the other things sent before. Seulgi picked it up, carefully tearing it open. A USB drive and a small card slipped out, and that was it.

The detectives plugged the USB drive in, while Seulgi let Yongsun and the rest read the message.

_ To Solar: My sweetheart, I hope you will finally feel how much I love you. _

Angry tears made its way into Yongsun’s eyes, and the more she looked at neat and pristine penmanship of the words, the decorated postcard-sized letter and the way everything was made out to be this delicate, beautiful gift when Byul was in some unknown location, it made her want to kill this person with her own bare hands.

The contents of the USB were nothing but a text document with a link in it. The guards connected it to the big projector screen, everyone holding their breaths in anticipation when the link was finally clicked.

* * *

A single beep sounded.

The laptop came to life, reflecting on the screen what it's webcam was capturing. A bloodied Moonbyul seated on the ground, the harsh light of the torch illuminating her. The man jumped up from where he was kneeling and working at something at the other side of the container, and stumbled quickly into the frame.

In the same moment Moonbyul realised what was in his hand, her head was yanked back roughly by her hair. A cloth was shoved into her mouth and tied around her head, and the sweet, pungent fragrance of the liquid it was soaked in gave it away immediately.  _ Chloroform _ , she realised in horror.

She had a maximum of three to five minutes before she would be knocked out by that chemical, or from the loss of blood, whichever quicker.

_ Fuck. _

He strode over to the laptop, adjusting the camera and checking the screen, the single flashing green light having somehow satisfied him.

“I’m live.” Moonbyul heard him gasp under his breath. “My Solar is watching me.”

She can’t help but scorn at that, to think he actually believed Yongsun even had a single shred of positive feeling towards him right now. What was he doing though? A livestream? What exactly was he planning?

“Solar, my love, I hope you can see my sincerity for you through this.” He began, smoothing out his hair and kneeling more comfortably in front of the laptop. The confession slithered from his mouth like an exchange between a couple, not a kidnapper’s ransom demand.

“I’m sorry I had to do all this, but I had no other choice. I’ve been trying so hard to bring you to me, but there are too many things coming between us. I had to take away some of them, I hope you can understand.”

As he spoke, Moonbyul realised this was a one-way stream, the other end of the call not visible or audible through the screen at all. She sat up straighter, the sharp pain radiating up her sides making her movement stilted and slow. She brought her shackled hands where she hoped was visible to the camera.

She stared right into the camera and focused, sending out one last hope that whoever was watching caught her message.

“...All I ask is to see you one time. Just one time, Solar, and I would be a happy man. Can you grant me this wish?” Moonbyul’s eyes shot over to him, and suddenly all the weapons hidden under the layers of his clothes became a very striking red flag - this was not going to be an innocuous meeting, not that she ever thought that it was going to be.

“There will be other people around you that will stop you from coming to me, so I have to do this. If I get to see you, maybe we could spend some time alone, and I can tell you where she is. I hate to put it this way, but if you don’t want to see me, I’m afraid this woman here would die.” He turned around, throwing a side glance at Moonbyul. She was struggling in futile attempts to take off the gag, “no”s that came out as nothing but muffled noises.

Yongsun can’t do this. This man had at least five concealed weapons on his person, and not even Moonbyul on her best day could possibly escape unscathed if she were to be the one meeting him alone. Let alone Yongsun, even if there was a team of guards on standby. It was simply too much of a risk to take, but Moonbyul knew her girlfriend enough to know she would show up screaming and kicking away anyone who tried to stop her from going. 

The man turned back around to look into the camera again, and Moonbyul saw her chance.

“So, I hope you’ll grant my wish. Let’s see each other later at-” The sentence cut off with a shout, and the man dropped to the floor, unmoving. Moonbyul collapsed on her knees after delivering the strike to the point on his back with her heel, accomplishing the move in one fell swoop. She used the last of any strength she had left, stopping him short before he revealed the location. The room spun around her, before it all turned to black.

* * *

Hyejin slammed the table in agonising frustration, willing the man to get up again. Yongsun was screaming at the screen, while the rest of the room was a flurry of movement.

“ _ Byul, you idiot _ .” She sobbed openly, sinking her face into her hands.  _ No, get yourself together. She did it to protect you, now return the favour,  _ she chided herself, rubbing away the tears.

“Officer-nim, you said that the livestream was recorded? Can we watch it again?” She asked, and saw that the guards were already a step ahead, pulling up a second laptop to play the recorded clip, while the original one was still streaming live.

They huddled around, playing the video, rewatching and rewinding certain parts.

“So we know that it's a shipment container of some sort. The intel team are already narrowing down on the identity of this person based on who might have access to a shipment container like that.” Heekyung said, referring to the notes in her hand.

“It’s too dark to make out what colour or things this container was shipping, we can’t see anything.” Seulgi spoke up from the other side of the table, nibbling on her lips.

“Wait! Go back! Rewind it a bit.” Yongsun sat up, her eyes catching on something at the bottom of the screen.

“What was she doing?” She asked, squinting at the small movements of Moonbyul’s bound hands. Heekyung clicked at her mouse, putting a zoom on that corner of the screen. Then, from behind them, Hyejin replied.

“Morse code.” Wheein sprang into action, uncapping her pen, ready to write. “Unnie taught me Morse code when we were in school, we used it to send messages in class.” Hyejin elaborated, her voice carrying a lace of pain at that memory.

“This Morse code is the modified version taught to us in guard training, I think only us and Hyejin-ssi knows how to decode it.” Heekyung slowed down the clip, rewinding it to where Moonbyul’s hands shifted into clear view, her index finger pelting against her thigh in a deliberate pattern. Hyejin and Seulgi took turns calling out the corresponding letters and numbers as they saw them.

“FNX19X, SGMSLXB.” Wheein read out, perplexed at the random string of English letters and the unfamiliar name. “What does this mean?”

The senior officer was clicking away at his phone, bringing it up to send instructions to his intel team. A tone sounded out from his phone, and he laid it in the middle of the table for all to see.

“This is the list of registered shipping containers. Two letters, followed by four digits.” He said.

“So the ‘X’ Byul gave us, maybe she couldn’t remember or see the number. It could be any number from 0-9.” Yongsun chipped in, before continuing. “Then what are those other letters?”

Seulgi was off to a side on her phone, listing off all the possible combinations of the container’s code, for the team back at the headquarters to search up.

“Everyone look! The bottles on the ground.” Kihyun who was monitoring the live footage pointed at the other laptop, bringing the stream onto the bigger projector screen. The empty beer bottles that were resting on their sides before were rolling towards the direction of the camera, and with both Moonbyul and the man still unconscious, it could only mean one thing.

“Team, narrow and track down all shipping containers with the listed index numbers on moving transport vehicles.” A beat of silence, and then, “Sunbaenim, I’ve got two, FN8192, moving up towards the junction at Jongam street, and FN4190, 12 minutes away at Deokcheon-il street. The first container belongs to a defunct medical device company the second is for an electroplating factory. Sending both live coordinates to all tablets now.”

With that, everyone in the meeting room got moving, filing out with hurried paces, while the CEO yelled out commands for the rest of the staff to resume their work as usual. They split into two teams and two cars, tablets and laptops in hand, each headed by either Seulgi or the senior officer. 

Yongsun, Wheein and Hyejin stuck together, following the car with Seulgi and Kihyun. They held onto the laptop still streaming the live footage. Nothing’s changed at all, the two still unmoving on the ground, but the occasional bump in the road sent the camera rocking unsteadily. They all knew that it wouldn’t be long before the man came to, the strike Byul delivered only capable of temporary incapacitation and nothing more.

They were racing against time, against all the odds, in hopes of making it before the ground shifts and the whole circumstance crumbles around them. Yongsun gripped on tightly to the laptop, her eyes focused and searching for any new movements, but her mind was wandering and running in all different directions.

The last time they saw each other, there was only a quick goodbye exchanged between them as they stood just slightly out of earshot of the juniors. She had nagged at the younger girl to come home quicker, and Moonbyul had whined in retaliation, grumbling back at her to sleep earlier. And that was it, short, because it was only going to be hours before they were supposed to be back together again, Moonbyul crawling into bed to join a snoring Yongsun like she always does. 

Neither of them had ever, in their wildest imaginations, expected any of this to happen.

Wheein and Hyejin squeezed her arms in a mirrored, soothing motion, as they watched the screen together. Silently, she hoped they were paying it more attention than she was, because between the tears blurring her vision and the haze of memories clouding her mind, she was struggling to focus.

Under her breath, she quietly prayed that whatever they were doing, it was enough.

_ Byul-ah, wait for me please. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: i love reading all of yall dying in the comments while i'm here just evilly laughing :)) this is such a long chapter whew, but i feel like if i had shortened it at any other point, there will be a blood bath in the comments, so you're welcome for that i guess. keep leaving prompts for me!! i can't promise i will write each one, but i may incorporate some ideas in future fics. for a list of topics i do not write about, visit my caard here: [windflour.carrd.co](https://windflour.carrd.co/)


	22. chapter twenty-two

There was an endless darkness. She felt herself hurled up onto her knees, dragged upwards by the lapels of her blazer. As much as she tried, her eyes stayed stubbornly shut, and her body felt like it wasn’t hers to control.

Where everything was deadly quiet earlier, there was now a constant rumble of engines and occasional sensation of dropping out of balance. Still, her hearing was muffled, almost like she was underwater. It was a terrifying state to be in, the senses she relied on the most dimmed and subdued.

She braced for impact when she saw the blurry outlines of a raised fist, but a rough jerk sent the man tumbling backwards, the grip on her blazer slipping. 

Moonbyul’s hands plastered themselves onto the rapidly heating floor of the container, connecting the dots at once that they were on the move. The chloroform-soaked cloth that was used to gag her earlier now hung around her neck. She shook her head with vigour, firmly shaking away most of her giddiness.

A loud snap brought her attention to the man now on the floor crouching behind her, letting out a string of his frustrations in a maddening chant. He had shut the laptop, eyes flying around the room like a drunken maniac, furious at the foil in his plans.

Somewhere on the road, the scene of them rousing to consciousness did not go unnoticed. That footage came in just mere moments before the screen went pitch black. Yongsun’s grasp on Hyejin’s wrist tightened, and soon they were pleading with Seulgi to step on it. All they had to go on was the red pin on the GPS by the steering wheel, blinking every second to track the container truck they were chasing. 

Yongsun just hoped and prayed, that it was the correct one, and they weren’t wasting any more precious minutes.

Time was something Moonbyul knew for a fact she didn’t have. If it weren’t for the recklessly driven vehicle throwing the man’s gait off-kilter as he tried to make his way to her, she knew she wouldn’t have stood a chance. Of all the training she received and all the experience she had under her belt, nothing prepared her for _ fucking medieval shackles and muscle relaxant shots. _

She let out a deathly cold laugh at that thought, glaring back challengingly at him.  _ What a fucking joke.  _ She was in this impossibly ridiculous situation just because the seething man glaring at her from a few feet away genuinely believed he was destined to be with a woman who he didn’t deserve even a single cell of.

The truck they were travelling on came to an abrupt stop. There was the muffled sound of a door slamming shut, and subsequent shuffling coming from the outside of the container. The man scrambled to the front of the locked container door, his hand falling to a rest on a pocket that, Moonbyul realised with horror, hid a knife. She tried to scream through the hoarseness of her throat, but it was no use.

The door swung open on one side, and barely a second later, the driver had fallen to the ground, hand clasped around where a knife was sitting inches deep into his shoulder.

Moonbyul eyes fell shut in grief. She wasn’t sure if he was complicit in this, or if he was just an innocent driver who became collateral damage in the mess. Regardless, he didn’t deserve death. The position and depth of the stab were inches from being fatal, but that could change if help didn’t arrive soon.

She wanted to scream at the man, to hurt him with her own hands for the senselessness. When he turned back around however, the sight of his blood-stained shirt and murderous glint in his eyes made Moonbyul more than aware that she was never going to realise that wish.

She always thought she would die as a veteran guard if she didn’t of old age, having protected the lives of many and spent her years of training benefitting more people than she ever set out to. Never did she expect for this to end so quickly, with Yongsun only being her seventh assignment.

Still, this was the only reality she would accept. If she had the chance in hindsight to choose all over again, she would still choose Yongsun. She would still choose to fall in love with her, give her everything she wanted and more, and protect her till the very end. She just wished that they had more time.

As the chain binding the shackles to the walls of the container was broken and she felt herself being dragged to her feet, she could only helplessly will herself to shake away her hopes of making it out of this.

She still had so many things she wanted to do and experience. She wanted to watch her best friend fall in love, for her to finally get the happiness she deserved. She wanted to be there to get that stubborn girl to be bold in letting herself be loved, and to accept the soulmate she’d undoubtedly already found in Wheein. She wished to be there for all the nervous panicking as they thought of what to text that girl back, to watch the girl she once defended from all those bullies fully bloom into a woman who never settled for anything less than she deserved.

Then there was Wheein, who in this short time managed to dig her way into Moonbyul’s heart, and became someone who she loved like a younger sister. Even if it weren’t for Yongsun and Hyejin, she was sure she would still fight the world if it ever let this girl down in any way.

_ And Yongsun _ . As her vision got ever more shadowy, the image of Yongsun in her mind got clearer. The sleepy smiles as she roused from sleep to the fragrance of all the breakfasts she’d cooked, the smile she couldn’t see, but felt against her lips each time they kissed, the smile she could hear over the phone even as Yongsun shrieked at her over her cheesy jokes.  _ It was all Yongsun. _

The last thing she felt before she blacked out again, was the blood rushing from her head when rough hands hauled her up to her feet.

* * *

The pin on the map had stopped moving for exactly twelve minutes now. Yongsun counted every second that went by, knowing deep down she was setting herself up for a breakdown, but couldn’t stop it. The white dot that symbolised their car finally closed in on the red pin, the car pulling to a stop on dirt ground.

It was an abandoned building of sorts, and a container truck parked haphazardly in the middle of the large plot of barren, sandy land in front of it.

“ _ Seung Geum Medical Devices Lab. _ ” The signboard that was originally white looked worn and torn, paint chipping off its sides, mirroring the exterior walls of the building it was plastered on. The building wasn’t old or dilapidated like those that they used in horror movie sets, but it felt more like a place that used to bear life, and everyone in it just upped and left all of a sudden one day.

A man was lying face down and motionless on the ground right in front of the open doors of the truck, blood pooling around his right arm. Yongsun got her hopes up for a moment, but they were quickly dashed when she realised that the unconscious man was dressed differently from the man in the livestream.

There was not enough light let in to see anything beyond those doors. The guards jumped out of their cars, Yongsun sprinting ahead of them towards the stationary vehicle. She heard them yell out her name, screaming at her to get back to safety, but she had tunnelled all her focus on the unknown behind the doors of the truck, ignoring everyone else.

But then she saw it, as she got closer. Trickles of blood leading out of the truck, staining the dirt ground beneath her feet. She felt her friends’ hands grabbing at her, pulling her shirt and tugging at her arms, but she gave them a firm shrug off, and started a sprint along the trail of blood, headfirst to wherever it may lead her.

She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw the sight in front of her, her blood running completely cold and feeling an instantaneous bout of nausea course through her. There was the pitter patter of footfall, as her friends and the two guards stopped beside her, arms coming to wrap around her protectively.

They had ran right into the building, and now that they were in there, they could feel the immediate chill of eeriness the painted cement walls of the place exuded. Their breaths almost echoed like a mockery in their ears, as their eyes all trained singly on the scene before them.

The man from all of Yongsun’s nightmares stood just metres away, except now Yongsun had a face to place to those images. He was wearing exactly what he wore that day he showed up at the house, that exact cap, long-sleeved shirt, but now with a long overcoat and an unnerving smirk curving across his face. 

The man’s eyes lit up in the most hideous way when he saw Yongsun,  _ his Solar _ , not only on the posters on his walls, but standing right there.

She wasn’t looking back at him though, not anymore.

Yongsun doesn’t think she will ever get the image out of her head, of the girl she loves on a tiny screen of a computer, curled up in her own pool of blood, as still as death.

“You want me? Tell us where she is. You can have me.” Yongsun cried out, struggling against the pairs of hands pulling her backwards. Kihyun and Seulgi cautiously came forward to stand in front of her, the guns that were in their holsters now in their grips, aimed to kill.

“Come to me, angel, come to me and I’ll tell you where she is.” 

“Move again and I’ll pull the trigger.” Seulgi warned in a low voice, releasing the safety on her gun in punctuation. 

“Do it, and you’ll watch that bitch die.” The man pulled his hands out from their hidden positions behind his back. In his hand was a grey remote, a long wire following it. His thumb rested against it’s tip, over a red button. “BOOM! BOOM!”

He let out a maniacal laugh when Seulgi flinched at his outburst, taking delight in the way their eyes tracked his movements in fear as he waved the remote carelessly in the air.

“Let my Solar come to me. Everyone else step behind the black line.” He demanded, rolling his eyes when nobody moved. “You want to know where she is? You’ll find out, when the bomb explodes. I’ll count to ten.”

“Go, do as he says, please!” Yongsun saw the black line a few feet away, where the shuttered doors would meet the ground when it closed, and she tried but failed to drag Wheein and Hyejin towards it. “Go! Please!” 

The two girls were sobbing, the choice to move now was between protecting Yongsun and saving Moonbyul. Hyejin was the first to break, letting her cries go as she ran towards the exit, and stood steadfastly behind the line. Wheein only watched her go, her own tears streaming down her face as she refused to follow.

“... six. Five. Four.”

“The rest of you, go, now.” Kihyun felt a sharp jab between his shoulders, the grip on his gun loosening before it was snatched out of his hands. The next thing he knew, Yongsun was in front of him, his gun now in her trembling clutch, pointed at her own temple. 

“No, Yongsun!” 

“Please just go.” 

She watched as Seulgi and Kihyun dragged Wheein, screaming and crying, away from her, before the deafening sound of the shutters lowering reverberated in the tense air. 

“Okay my love, now put the gun down, slowly.” She turned back towards the man, not letting him have even the slightest bit of pleasure from seeing her afraid. Her face was set in ice and stone as she dropped the gun from her hand, putting one foot ahead of the other slowly as she followed his beckoning.

“That’s right, come to me Solar, come hold my hand, don’t be scared.” Every word he said felt like a needle under her skin. Her eyes flitted down to where the laptop was still sitting. Moonbyul hasn’t moved, lifeless in what looked like a storage room, but now with the knowledge that somewhere in there, there was a bomb threatening to go off.

Yongsun took another step forward, and this time, her eyes were back on the man. Something clicked in her, and everything else that happened, happened like it was in slow motion.

She leapt through the air the last few steps of the way, hands reached out for the wire dangling from that man’s grasp. She snatched it away, grip wrapping the remote safely in one hand, and in the other, she reached for the metallic glint she saw sticking out of the man’s pocket. Maybe it was the adrenaline coursing through her veins, but she felt nothing as she held onto the blade, tossing it up and switching it around to hold onto the handle instead, slashing it down to cut the wire cleanly in half.

The loose end of the wire dropped uselessly to the ground, but before she could be happy about it, the man was lunging at her, another knife that he pulled from his back now wielded in his hand.

He was yelling, words pushing past clenched teeth, as he blindly swung his weapon. She heard it whizz through the air, and then there was blinding pain that followed. A patch of blood bloomed on her stomach, and she stumbled backwards. 

Somewhere in the man’s shouted rant, she heard the distinct utter of Moonbyul’s name. It was the moment she let pure rage take over, turning the knife on him and in one smooth motion, dug it hilt-deep into his thigh. She watched, without even a hint of expression on her face, as he clutched his wound in agony. 

When he tried to aim for her again, the knife missed her by a whole feet, as he staggered on one working leg. 

She saw her chance, taking the remote and laptop with her, as she took off deeper into the cold darkness of the building.

* * *

“We didn’t have a choice, don’t be like this, please, Wheein-ah.” 

Hyejin let Wheein take it out on her, punching at her shoulders until her knees gave out beneath her. She caught Wheein, pulling her close until all she could hear were muffled sobs against the crook of her neck. Seulgi and Kihyun were combing the grounds, searching for another entrance or back exit. The facility was huge, spanning a large piece of land, and it was likely that there would be more than one entrance, they just had to find an unlocked one.

The guards tasked Wheein and Hyejin with calling for backup and keeping watch of the injured driver still lying on the floor, under the guise of keeping them away from danger. Hyejin held on tightly to Wheein as she spoke to the senior guard officer over the phone, as if Wheein would run away and disappear as soon as she loosened her hold.

They waited in silence, Wheein eventually breathing easier, taking over Hyejin in putting pressure on the man’s wound. 

“Byulyi and Yongsun unnie are both going to be okay.” She mumbled in a chant under her breath, staring piercingly at the man she was helping to save, wondering if he had anything to do with the kidnap.

Minutes later, a car and an armoured van pulled onto the grounds, a few ambulances following right behind. The paramedics took over, and Hyejin took Wheein to join the rest. Seulgi and Kihyun had found another exit, an emergency door that had a broken locking system. 

It was nothing short of frustrating, standing right outside the second door that separated them from their two friends, but being held back by everyone else from just charging straight in. Wheein and Hyejin stood by, heart wildly racing in impatience, as they waited for the team of guards and bomb disposal technicians to plan a method of attack.

* * *

Yongsun ran as fast as her feet could carry her, a hand holding onto the laptop and the other clutched onto her wound. There was a knife tucked into the back of her shirt, ironically exactly how the man had done it. She was weaving in and out of the rows after rows of rooms, throwing open doors with abandon, hoping to find her girlfriend behind one of them.

There were an endless number of laboratories, each just configured slightly differently from the last. None of them looked anything like the room on the screen of the laptop.

Each trickle of blood both from her wound and the ones adding into the pool around Moonbyul was like another sand in the hourglass falling away. With every step she took, she could physically feel her skin get clammier and clammier from the effort, but still she pushed on. 

She squinted hard at the screen, and that was when she spotted it. On the far left corner of the room Moonbyul was in, there was a stack of styrofoam boxes piled neatly. She couldn’t be sure, as the video was far too blurry, but the labels on the boxes seemed to read “ _ FROZEN GOODS _ ”. Her eyes scanned the screen again, for the first time looking at anything but the girl lying in the centre of it.

A small rectangle was hanging on the wall on the right, and it took a moment of clarity to piece it together.

_ A thermostat. Boxes of frozen things and a thermostat. _

She whipped her head around to where she remembered seeing a directory, tearing down the hallway in the direction she needed to go to. She let the signages lead her as she willed her body not to give up, dragging her feet behind her as she crashed into the first room she saw labelled “ _ FREEZER ROOM _ ” in an acrylic plaque on its heavy metal doors.

The laptop fell out of her hands, colliding with the floor, sending the broken keys flying everywhere.

_ Byul-yi. _ Lying there, just as she was on the screen.  _ But there. Here.  _ Yongsun let herself go.

It felt like swimming against the current and just under the surface of the relentless waves, the chokehold that unconsciousness had on her. But a voice cut through them all like a proffered hand to grab onto, and Moonbyul did. She took that voice and pulled and pulled and pulled, and didn’t stop until she surfaced again.

“Yong...” She gulped, feeling herself getting lifted into warm arms.

It was soft, barely a breath, but Yongsun heard her, and stilled immediately.

“B-Byul? Can you hear me?” She was in disbelief, watching as some focus came back into the other girl’s blinking eyes. She shook away her tears furiously, not allowing any of it to blur her vision, when those dark brown eyes locked onto hers.

“Byul, please hold on, I’m getting you out of here.” Yongsun was amazed at how coherent she was, because she felt like her emotions were anything but. 

The image of the bomb’s remote appeared in her mind again, and she suddenly realised the predicament they were in. She hooked her arm under Moonbyul’s knees, another slung around and supported her neck, and then she stood up gingerly, biting her lips to grit through the pain.

She tried to remember the path she took to end up at the freezer room, crossing the winding hallways and endless dark maze of identical looking doors. The signages were no longer helpful, since none of them seemed to point to a way out. 

She was losing feeling in her arms, and Moonbyul was becoming more and more of a deadweight in her hold, the hands that were gripping at her shirt losing its traction. 

“Byul, stay with me please.” The words kept leaving her mouth in a chant, partially a plea to Moonbyul, but also a prayer to Gods she didn’t believe in. “Please, you promised me.”

The lights were flickering sinisterly when she found the row of laboratories she started on, the only light that they had when the fluorescent bulbs turned off was the daylight shining through the wall of glass windows. 

A shadow and a glimpse, was what Yongsun saw as she rounded one of the corners. She had to bite her tongue to keep the scream from tumbling out of her mouth, whipping around and ducking behind the wall. The hallway they were in was as long as the eye could see, nothing but rows and rows of the laboratories. 

The man was standing at the end of it, blood trailing behind him as he shuffled forward, knife in one hand and gun in the other. Yongsun didn’t dare look at his face again, because even a glimpse of what she saw earlier almost paralysed her with fear. Relentlessness, coldness, and pure, unadulterated obsession to kill.

Tightening her grip on Moonbyul, she peeked past the edge of the wall again, and when she saw him turn his back on them, she spent every last effort to stand, pushing away from the dead end they were at and darting into the relative safety of the laboratory. 

She held her breath unconsciously, listening out for the man’s heavy, muffled footsteps, letting herself exhale only when she heard it inch away from their door. Only then, she deemed it safe enough to start looking for a place to hide them both.

Moonbyul was laid gently onto the ground behind a workbench, head pillowed onto a pile of old lab coats. Yongsun took another one, ripping it into strips using the edge of a broken glassware, and started to patch Moonbyul up. She couldn’t see where the wounds began and ended with the blood smeared everywhere, feeling a sob rise up again as she reached her shaking hands for Moonbyul’s shirt, peeling it away to locate the wound. 

As she packed the cloth on, pressing at it to stop the bleeding, she suddenly remembered the phone in her pocket, taking it out to find it already ringing soundlessly. 

“Yong, oh my God where are you?” Wheein choked out the words, clearly taken aback by the sudden answer after such a long time of unanswered ringing.

“The labs, I think it’s called the Device Testing lab. Follow the signs. Hurry please, the man is looking for us, and Byul can’t hold on much longer.” Her whispers turned to sobs, trying to balance the phone against her ear while her hands were busied with the guard’s injuries.

She let the phone drop onto her lap with a quiet thud, not letting go of the pressure. She felt like she was holding her whole world together, her eyes zeroed in on her reddening cloth, her mind focused solely on making sure it was still rising and falling with Moonbyul’s slow breaths.

But then there were fingers intertwining with her own, weak and cold to the touch, but  _ alive. _

“ _ Yong _ .” She all but sobbed out, when she heard her name exhaled out of Moonbyul’s throat like it took all the life she had left in her to say it. There was a soft tug on her hand, and she understood immediately, ignoring the throbbing pain in her stomach to lean down next to Moonbyul’s slightly parted lips. 

“ _ I love you. _ ” Every letter in those words were enunciated with careful sureness, and it was that exact tone, that soft, caress of a voice, she heard against her neck for the first time that night in Shanghai. 

“I love you, too.”

Their lips met, tears and blood mixing together as their mouths moved against each other. Yongsun kissed her like she wanted to tear out a part of her own soul for her, as if she could physically breathe life back into her lungs, like she could open her eyes and be safely back in Moonbyul’s arms, in their bed, finding out that all of this was just a bad dream.

Yongsun pulled away, but only just enough to take in the look of Moonbyul’s half-lidded eyes trying their best to focus back on hers.  _ The fight hasn’t died in your eyes.  _ Moonbyul was saying nothing and everything at once, apologies, regrets, solace and farewell. 

Yongsun could not look away. She had her in her arms, and yet she had never felt more helpless than she did then. It was as if she had only found her, just to say goodbye one last time.

“No. You fucking promised me, Byul. Stay with me, please, you can’t say good-”

“It’s her.” 

Yongsun whipped around so fast that the world spun for a moment. She could feel every cell in her body protest the action, but she held on, gritting her teeth to stay oriented, instinctively moving to shield Moonbyul with her entire body.

“She’s the reason you can’t love me back.” The man loomed over them, weapons in either hands, a trail of blood leading from the entrance of the lab to where he was standing. There was a sickening smile on his face, his eyebrows raised, as if all of this was amusing to him. “All this time I kept thinking about how I needed her to get to you, but all I needed to do was get rid of her.”

“You will never have me. Not even if there wasn’t anyone else already.” Yongsun laid on a thick layer of revulsion in her voice, not betraying even a single bit of her fear. “You’re a sick excuse of a person.”

She stared down the barrel of the gun as it was raised at her, feeling the urgent tugs on both her elbows and the pained, desperate whimpers from the girl behind her. 

“Move aside, Solar.”

“You’ll have to kill me first.” She hissed out between clenched teeth. The grip on her arms got stronger, but she held her ground. 

_ This is everything you were afraid of. This was what you’d been through once, and never can again, and yet. _

And yet, she let the man lower the gun right between her eyes. 

She let her eyes fall shut, refusing to let him bear witness to the moment of vulnerability that took over when she silently apologised to Moonbyul, for going back on her words, for having to do this.

She had no other choice. She never had, from the moment she fell hopelessly in love, till now. She never stood a chance against her heart and will.

A single gunshot rang out, and the world was washed with an overwhelming volume of white noise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i got home from work at 2.30am, after a 18 hour shift, but then still remembered to upload this before i go to sleep. goodnight yall, have all the fun suffering from this chapter :')


	23. chapter twenty-three (part i)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the finale chapter will be in two parts, here's part one!
> 
> tw: hospitals, needles, mentions of death

She heard and saw nothing. Eyes closed, ears ringing, it felt like she was drowning. There was no pain, no bright lights that she was told she’d see in the last moment of life. 

The fingers that were gripped around her arms loosened and fell away, and she felt her whole world crumble away too.

Yongsun’s eyes flew open, and suddenly the man that was towering over her was no longer there, and the gun her searching glances landed on belonged to Seulgi. There was another gun, fallen several feet away from where she was, that was quickly picked up by the senior officer guard.

Everything was too loud in her mind, the gunshot still reverberating in her ears and clouding over any attempts she made to rationalise that she wasn’t dead. All she could register was Moonbyul’s touch on her arm, one moment it had been there, and now it was gone. 

There was a constant screaming she realised was her own, when she turned around to the sight of Moonbyul’s closed eyes again, hands limply fallen to the sides. She grabbed her cold body, bringing it into her suffocating embrace, and begged.  _ Please don’t leave me. _

People were trying to grab her and subdue her, but she flung their hands away, not letting herself be restrained this time. She could make out her own incoherent cries at Moonbyul to wake up, her lungs constricting in effort to take air in.

She only stopped, when Wheein’s tear-stricken face came into view, and together with Hyejin, she peeled the older girl away gently, and the three of them sat and watched the medics crowd around Moonbyul.

There was a low chuckle, amidst the panicked commands and tearful sobs. Yongsun’s head turned at that noise, finding the man’s grinning face pressed against the bloodied floor, Kihyun and Heekyung holding him down. A bullet wound was etched into his shoulder, spewing blood rapidly around him.

He was going to die. But that wasn’t quite enough.

Yongsun stood up with the harnessed strength of the entire day’s events, with the sheer anger and sorrow of watching the woman she loved get carried away on a stretcher, blood trailing behind her. She staggered over to him, the two guards immediately holding him down even tighter.

She almost laughed. It wasn’t him that they should be afraid of now.

The metallic blade of the knife sat against the skin of her lower back, now warm to the touch from having been hidden there so long. In one fluid, scarily precise movement, she reached back, wrapping her hand around the hilt of the knife, and plunged it into the man’s neck. 

She wanted to feel vindicated, or at least satisfied, but all she could do was blink furiously as her tears fell uselessly down her cheeks. She felt bodies restraining her once again, and she didn’t resist them, but refused to let them take her away until she saw the last of any life seep out of the man’s eyes.

Only then, did she allow herself to shut down. Her vision went pitch black, and her body followed.

Wheein slumped against the wall she was leaning on, watching without a trace of expression on her face, as her best friend killed a man. She didn’t join the group of people who rushed to hold her back, nor did she partake in anything that happened after. 

As she gazed blankly at the orange of the stretcher Yongsun was carried onto, she pulled herself up off the ground, stepping over the motionless body of the man on the floor, trailing behind them. 

Her eyes fell on the footprints she left as she dragged her feet along, an angry red that carried the life of the three people who were in that lab. The whole way to the hospital, she didn’t feel anything but numbness, even as she witnessed the team of medics work at her best friend in a dizzying frenzy, calling out numbers and words that would have sent her flying into a panic any other day.

She didn’t cry, didn’t feel, until they stopped her outside the operating theatre where they just pushed Yongsun into. Arms wrapped around her, and there were fast breaths against the side of her face.

_ Hyejin. _

It was only then did she break down completely, holding Hyejin back just as tightly as they sunk down onto the plastic waiting chairs.

Hours later, they helped the nurses soothe an agitated Yongsun, who was clawing at her intravenous lines, demanding to see Moonbyul. She held Yongsun’s hand as a nurse slipped the dial on her drip clockwise, and Yongsun’s eyes fell shut again.

“We sedated her. She needs rest.” Wheein nodded, sitting down on the chair next to the bed, never letting her friend’s hand go. Hyejin was still outside, unmovable, as the red light above Moonbyul’s operating theatre hadn’t switched off yet. 

Wheein wished the hospital was more quiet. But there were babies screaming, families chatting, machines beeping, everything at once that made her head pound. She wanted silence, so then maybe her head would follow its lead and be quiet too. 

She should be happy. Yongsun was safe, the man was dead, and Moonbyul was still fighting, but at the very least, the surgeons were optimistic. This was the happiest ending that they could have asked for, all things considered. And yet Wheein sat there glaring at the hand in hers, thinking about how some deep, irreversible damage had been done to them all.

She knew for a fact that she would never be the same Jung Wheein again.

Someone knocked on the door, but she didn’t bother turning to look.

“How is she doing?” Her CEO’s soft voice came from behind her.

“Alive.” There was a beat of silence after her curt answer, and she could make out the faint sounds of feet shuffling about.

“Wheein-ah, I know it’s not the right time, but I need to ask you something about Yongsun and Moonbyul.”

“Can it wait?” Her tone was harsh, terse, and she had yet to look her boss in the eye.

“Yes, it can, but… I'd rather know soon.” He flitted his eyes between the two girls one more time, before turning to leave. “Take care of yourself too, Wheein-ah.” 

* * *

When Yongsun woke up again, she could feel a hand wrapped around hers, and from how dark it was, it was probably the dead of the night. 

She unwound her hand out of the loose grasp, and laid it instead on the head of hair resting against her thigh. 

“Hyejin-ah.” She whispered.

The head shot up, and Hyejin’s eyes found hers after a few disorientated seconds, immediately brimming with tears again.

“You’re awake, unnie.” 

“Yes, I am, don’t cry, silly.” Yongsun wiped her thumb under Hyejin’s puffy eyes, drying her tears but doing nothing to take away the layers of exhaustion hanging off her lids. She almost didn’t dare ask the question.

“Byulyi is out of surgery. But she hasn’t woken up yet, Seulgi-unnie and Officer-nim are with her.” Hyejin could see the older girl’s hesitance, softly whispering the answer at her, because any less gentle and it was as if they both could break from the words. “She’s okay.” 

“She’s okay. Byulyi is okay.” Yongsun repeated the words to herself. She took a  gulp of breath, feeling like she could breathe for the first time since waking up that day. “Can I go see her?”

“Not until your doctor clears you to.” Hyejin eyed her warily, hands hovering over Yongsun’s wrist like she was ready for her to protest.

“I'll be okay, Hyejin-ah. I’m sorry.”

“I wasn’t here for any of it, it was all Wheein.” Hyejin’s shoulders slumped forward. “She’s buying coffee, if you’re wondering.”

“Yeah, I was.” Yongsun stopped trying to look past Hyejin’s shoulder at the lit entrance of the ward, adjusting herself to sit up a little straighter despite the muted pain of the wound in her stomach. “I wanted to say sorry not for just… that.”

She sighed softly. This wasn’t something she was good at, apologies, expressing regret, remorse, or any of those uglier, rawer emotions. With Moonbyul, it was simple, because Moonbyul was an open book, and her vulnerability seemed to pale in comparison. And with Wheein, it was always actions over words.

But this was Hyejin, and these were words that were eating her alive, something that she had to say, had to let the younger girl hear.

She watched every little change in expression on Hyejin’s face as she said sorry. For putting her best friend through what she just went through, for betraying what she promised Hyejin to never do - hurt Moonbyul. Now Moonbyul was lying on some cold hospital bed, after coming so close to dying because of her.

“If I hadn’t known her, hadn’t come into her life like that, hadn’t liked her, then maybe she wouldn’t have to be put through all that, you wouldn’t have had to watch her go through all that all over again.” It felt like her lungs just couldn’t take the air in fast enough, the lump in her throat choking up her words. 

“I can’t imagine how much it hurts for you to see her like that so I-” Hyejin looked frozen to her spot as Yongsun’s words tumbled out of her mouth in a frenzy, not interrupting once even though she had so much to say. “ _ I’m sorry.  _ None of this would have happened if I’d not appeared.”

Yongsun wanted Hyejin to say something,  _ anything _ , but the younger girl just glared back at her with so many unreadable flits of her eyes, a glimmer that Yongsun didn’t know what to think of. 

“You’re right, unnie.” Yongsun shut her eyes, wiping furiously at her tears.  _ She didn’t deserve to cry _ . 

“You’re right, none of this would have happened. If your company hadn’t hired her, she wouldn’t have to be following you around every day, worried about the threats you were receiving. She wouldn’t have to stay up on those cold nights with you, or be constantly afraid you would get hurt somehow. She wouldn’t be in a coma right now.”

Hyejin’s words stabbed at her more painfully than the knife had felt in her stomach. She swallowed all her tears, refusing to let herself cry. This was Hyejin’s turn to let it out on her, and she deserved to hear all of it.

“And if she hadn’t been hired as your bodyguard, then she wouldn’t have gotten to know you. She wouldn’t have fallen in love again. Then I would still have to watch her drown herself in alcohol every night, then take out all her own guilt and unworthiness on herself during her training.” Yongsun looked up at the sudden change in Hyejin’s voice, something that sounded like a mother admonishing a child, but much more docile and kind. 

Hyejin reminisced the very first time she saw her best friend smile again after the incident. A genuine, silvery laugh that was gone as quickly as it came. Then Yongsun came along, and suddenly it was as if there never was a time when it was rare to see her bliss written all over her face. 

Even when they had their fights, and all the stupid quarrels that Hyejin rolled her eyes at, even in sadness and anger and frustration and confusion, Moonbyul finally looked like she had something to live for. 

Will, something Hyejin spent months trying to find back in her best friend, and Yongsun swooped in and did it, effortlessly and unconsciously. 

“I honestly don’t know if she was living at all, for the whole year before she met you.” Hyejin got closer to the older girl, lifting her chin up to meet her eyes. “I don’t think she would change anything, even in hindsight.”

Hyejin wanted to say a lot more, but decided that Yongsun should hear these words from Moonbyul herself. 

Wheein turned the corner into the room, two coffees balanced precariously in her hand, but as soon as she saw her best friend awake and talking, she broke into a sprint, throwing her arms around her until she remembered the bandages still wrapped around her middle.

Hyejin left them to talk, leaving a kiss on Wheein’s cheek as a thank you for the coffee, before excusing herself to Moonbyul’s ward.

She stood at a far corner, unsure of herself, as she took in the scene before her. Seulgi, the senior officer and all the junior guards were gathered in a tight pack outside the room, behind the glass that separated it’s patient from the outside. Hyejin didn’t want to intrude on their moment, and she frankly didn’t have the courage to go anywhere near them, who looked to be already mourning their colleague.

She knew that this was their coping mechanism, not to hold out hope, to keep their guards up in case the worst were to happen. The doctors were professional with their explanations, not wanting to promise them anything. But Hyejin knew otherwise, she knew Moonbyul, and knew that she was fighting with every cell in her body to wake up again. 

So she sat quietly on the chairs near the wall, matching her own breathing to the machines as she sipped on her coffee and tried to rest.

* * *

Eventually, Yongsun’s doctor allowed her to move about, albeit in her wheelchair. Wheein pushed her across the hall to where Moonbyul was, and she never had to push her back again. For the next five days, visitors came and went, but Yongsun stayed, fingers intertwined with her girlfriend’s cold ones, feeling for even the slightest movement. 

On the sixth day, Wheein and Hyejin tried everything to make her go back to rest in a proper bed, but she was stubborn. 

“Aren’t you being hypocritical, unnie?” Hyejin blurted out suddenly. “Wasn’t this exactly what you were mad at Byulyi-unnie for before? Neglecting herself?”

Wheein glared at her from the corner of her eye, but she stood her ground. She knew she was right. They regarded the older girl in tensed silence, seeing her lips gaped slightly at first, taken aback, but then a soft smile found its way there instead.

“I am. And now I kind of get it.” Yongsun whispered, eyes unfocused, staring at nothing in particular. “Things were so stupidly simple back then.”

She gave the hand in hers a few more gentle squeezes, before setting it down. The two younger girls stepped in to help her into her wheelchair, but she raised a hand at them. She gave those sutures enough time to rest, if she didn’t use her legs soon, she felt like she would forget how to.

Seulgi and Kihyun walked in right after they left, pinky promising them to keep vigil by Moonbyul while they were gone. 

* * *

They ended up in the cafeteria instead of Yongsun’s ward, after the three of them agreed that the waffles smelt way too good to give it a pass. Yongsun watched the younger girls dig into their waffles and ice cream happily, while she stirred pensively at her hot chocolate. 

They tried to break her out of her thoughts, tried to make her laugh with all their idiotic jokes and antics, and eventually she did. It felt like the ground shifted when she finally reacted genuinely to them. It took awhile, but it was worth watching the joy seep back into their friend’s eyes.

Everyone was hurting and trying to heal, and maybe now they were all on the same page.

They finished their food, sated and full. Wheein and Hyejin brought Yongsun back up, to her own ward this time, before they left together in a cab for home.

Despite her promises, she didn’t sleep well that night. At exactly four in the morning, she gave the nurses at their stations a sheepish grin, tiptoeing her way to the ward at the end of the hallway.

Seulgi and Kihyun were leaning against each other on the cushioned chairs, fast asleep. As she inched closer, Seulgi’s eyes flew wide open, only relaxing when she recognised Yongsun.

“Couldn’t sleep.” She didn’t know why she felt like she had to justify her being there, but she did anyway. She pulled a chair closer to Moonbyul’s bed, rearranging her limbs until she found herself back in that same somewhat comfortable position in that chair.

This time, she fell asleep soundly, hands wrapped around Moonbyul’s like an anchor.

She didn’t wake up until daybreak, when she felt a tickle against her palm. 

“Byul-ah?” She almost jumped out of her chair, if it weren’t for the tug on her stitches reminding her to be careful.

Moonbyul’s eyes didn’t open, but she was sure she felt it again. A twitch of her fingers, a feathery touch against her palm.

“Seulgi, Seulgi-ah get a nurse, I think Byul’s waking up.” She struggled to get out the words, her other arm flailing behind her, desperate for either of the dozing guards to notice her.

The sunlight was pouring through the grilled windows, revealing the tiny trembles of consciousness on Moonbyul’s face. The nurse filed into the room, following behind a frantic Seulgi, and Yongsun made way for him to do his checks on her. 

The guards came together to hold onto Yongsun, as the nurse pressed a button near the bed, and soon another doctor and nurse ran in. They did many things Yongsun didn’t quite understand, peeling back her eyelids, poking her fingers, but with each check they did, the doctor looked increasingly pleased, and Yongsun dared herself to fill with hope too.

“She’s definitely waking up, though it’s going to be slow, because her body is still adjusting. We’ll be back to check on her again soon.” He slung his stethoscope back around his neck as he explained, giving them a curt nod before leaving again. 

The two guards let go of her, running to be by their senior’s side, grabbing her hands and excitedly talked to her as if she could hear. 

_ Byulyi was going to wake up. Soon. _

All of a sudden Yongsun’s head was filling itself up with everything she told Hyejin, and try as she might, she could not force herself to believe any of the younger’s words to her.

Moonbyul was waking up, and she will soon have to face the fact that she almost made Moonbyul watch the man shoot her. For her. The very thing Moonbyul trusted her wholeheartedly with.

She had to face the fact that she landed Moonbyul in this state, brought every bit of this on her, dragged her into this mess with her. 

Yongsun couldn’t breathe, the air was just too thick in this too small room, and just like every other time, she didn’t think, before picking her up legs and taking off.

She could hear Seulgi and Kihyun calling after her, but she didn’t stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wanted to drop the whole two part chapter today, but too much happened in my personal life :( so i'm sorry but here's part one for now. i'll try my best to post part two on time on wednesday, but no promises!! leave me stupid jokes in the comments yall :((


	24. chapter twenty-three (part ii)

It was her favourite weather, one she had missed, being sheltered under a roof for so long. The sun’s rays shining down, but not quite enough to be a nuisance to her eyes, and the wind just slight enough to be comfortable.

The sky seemed too happy for her right now. 

She couldn’t enjoy it, because despite the serenity of the rooftop garden, her thoughts were tumultuous in her. It could have been minutes or hours that had passed, but she didn’t bother keeping track. All she wanted was quiet, away from beeping machines and nurses chattering and crying families. Away from the way Seulgi looked at her like she would break, the way Kihyun hovered near enough to guard her, but distant enough to not let his resentment show. 

Once again, she had ran away, leaving her body and soul to follow. It wasn’t a decision she was proud of, but then again she never bothered reigning any control over it at all.

Moonbyul was somewhere downstairs, opening her eyes for the first time in a week, and she could only see it for herself in her own imagination. 

Her grip on the railings tightened, as a feeling of nausea clutched at her gut. It felt like all her regret manifesting itself physically, and she almost couldn’t bear it, letting her head hang. She stood there, counting her breaths until numbers took over everything else that was in her mind.

It was a long while later before she felt a shuffle of footsteps and heard the muffled rustle of grass. 

“You weren’t there when I woke up.” 

The voice was rough with disuse, but a sound that made tears brim in her eyes all over again hearing. It had been almost a week since she’d heard it, and the last time she did, she thought she wouldn’t ever get to hear it again. 

Yongsun turned around slowly, and there she was. 

Moonbyul was seated in her wheelchair, a slight tilt of her head signalling for Seulgi to leave them. And then they were alone again, only a small patch of grass between them. 

“Don’t make me get up and walk to you.” The younger girl said again, her hands gripped tightly on the wheelchair’s handle in warning.

Yongsun couldn’t help the laugh that came out of her. Under the sunlight, she could see that the pallor under Moonbyul’s eyes were now slightly more coloured in, the cuts on her cheeks healing nicely to thin white lines. She wanted to reach out and smooth them over with her thumb, imagining them fading away and leaving only rosiness in their place.

Still, she struggled to reply. Her lips stayed firmly shut, not trusting herself to say anything she wouldn’t regret. 

With a sigh, Moonbyul wheeled herself across the grassy patch, stopping right beside the concrete seats next to Yongsun. She stared out at the scenery, trying to see what Yongsun saw in those blue skies, ant-sized cars, faraway hills and mountains.

Yongsun stared down at the back of her head instead. She was suddenly restless, fidgeting with the cottony fabric of her pants as her arms hung uselessly beside her. 

“Okay I’m going to talk. But you can’t interrupt me.” Yongsun blurted out, sitting down on the seat and pulling the wheelchair to face her. Moonbyul’s head followed, something unreadable crossing her face.

“Go ahead.” The guard was looking at her with too much weight in her eyes, and Yongun wasn’t sure she could get a word out if she returned the eye contact. 

“I don’t know how much you remembered of what happened in that lab, or if Seulgi and the others filled you in on everything.” To her credit, Yongsun didn’t hesitate as she glanced up again. She held Moonbyul’s gaze as she said those words, without flinching or writhing away. “I just wanted you to know that I would have done it again. Given the same circumstances, I would not have chosen otherwise. I don’t regret a single thing.”

“Yong-”

“I said, don’t interrupt me.” Yongsun shut her eyes, the hairs on her arms rising at the way Moonbyul’s voice wavered.

“I spent a long time up here thinking about what to say to you, Byul-ah. All I wanted to say to you was sorry, but I didn’t know how to. I’m not sorry for stealing Kihyun’s gun. I’m not sorry for putting myself in front of the gun. I killed that man, and I’d do it again.”

Yongsun dropped her eyes onto the bandages around Moonbyul’s wrist, recalling the grainy image of the same wrists shackled in heavy cast iron cuffs. When she continued, her tone was cold, unyielding in its truth. 

“But I’m sorry that this was the price of loving me. That our relationship meant so much pain and damage. After you told me… everything, I promised you that I was never going to let you go through any of it again. And then I broke every single one of those promises.” 

“Are you done?”

“No I-”

“Yes, you’re done. You’re done talking. I don’t want to hear any more of it.” Moonbyul let out another sigh, the shaky breath slipping into the air and letting the tension go. She took Yongsun’s hand in hers, effectively shifting the older girl’s deadpan focus on her bandages back to the warm hands wrapping around her own.

She flipped Yongsun’s hand around. The veiny blue hues on the heel of the wrist and the slightly cracked dryness of the skin near her fingertips were just as beautiful to her as Yongsun’s soft smiles and undaunted spirit. 

“Yeah, Kihyun told me everything. You running headfirst, eyes closed into danger, you grabbing the gun out of his hands and threatening them, and what happened after I passed out. He told me all the stupid things you did.” She paused when she heard a sharp exhale from Yongsun, but it wasn’t  _ bad _ , so she continued. 

“I was angry for a moment after I woke up and realised you weren’t there. I thought you’d died, Yong. But then I realised too, how big of a damn hypocrite I was for feeling angry, because I wouldn’t have hesitated doing the same for you. I know, firsthand, what it does to someone, to watch someone you love die for you. But I would have been selfish too.” 

Yongsun listened quietly. Her first reaction was to squeeze back the hand holding hers, more to mask her own tremble than anything else. It was pointless - she knew Moonbyul felt it already, but she still wanted to make an effort to be strong. 

“Yes, this is the price of loving you, but I’m willing to pay it. Aren’t you too? When you made that decision all those months ago to tell me you love me, didn’t you make up your mind then?”

Moonbyul’s words were meant to be a safety net, to catch her as she falls, but Yongsun felt like she was slipping through the webs of the net. The “yes” was resounding in her heart, but she let the moment hang a little too long for the doubt to creep in instead.

“None of this would have happened if it weren’t for me, don’t you get it Byul? You should be mad at me, for doing this to you again, so why aren’t you?” 

“Tell me Yong, do you regret this then? Do you regret having met me?” It came out more accusatory than the moment called for, but Yongsun thought that Moonbyul meant for it to be that way.

“I don’t, but you should.” 

“I’m telling you for a fact that I don’t. Falling for you wasn’t a choice, but loving you is. And even if I had to choose all over again, I would still choose you. I wouldn’t give any of the things we had for any different.”

A year ago, Moonbyul thought she understood what love was. She thought love was all bright colours and lights, that all culminated in heartbreak and pain, and so she didn’t want any part of it. But then Yongsun made her see that she couldn’t pick and choose which parts of love she wanted, and she couldn’t just throw all the uglier parts away. 

And now she wished that Yongsun could see it too. That Moonbyul had never expected for her to give her a perfect, gleaming path to walk on. She’s never needed her to fix anything, or mend the road ahead before they even stepped on it.

The sky was bright, but the magnitude of her own words, with the twisting irony of it compared to everything she made Yongsun promise before, stirred a whirl of emotions in her gut. It filled her up to the brim, spilling out of her eyes.

“I didn’t fall in love with a perfect idea of love. I fell in love with you. So just as you’re always going to choose to save my life all over again, I would too. I don’t hold it against you. I just ask that you’d never run away from me again. And that you’ll always come back to me.” 

Yongsun had stopped keeping herself from crying many held breaths ago. In Moonbyul’s shining, tear-filled eyes, she only saw a love that begged to be patient. 

Her body took the mindless lead again, but this time maybe she could agree with it for once. She threw herself into Moonbyul’s arms, just the split second before remembering all the healing wounds they had under their hospital pyjamas.

“I will keep that promise. Won’t run away from you ever again.” Yongsun laid the words gently next to Moonbyul’s ears, listening out for the soft exhale that told her she heard it. They let themselves stay in that embrace for a minute, and then a minute more.

It was all Yongsun had wanted for the past week, the reunion she’d foolishly tried to deny them of. Moonbyul’s hand came up to cradle the back of her neck, fingers brushing against the warmth of her skin. 

Yongsun knew what that touch meant, and so she gave it to her. They pulled apart from the embrace, but only to let their lips meet in a searing kiss.

That moment in Shanghai was what they could be, but this was what they were. Tattered and torn at the seams, snot and tears alike running down their faces, an indistinct white noise of traffic and distant chatter in the background.

They had to break apart for air eventually, and when they did, Moonbyul used her leverage of her seated height to blow her nose into the hem of Yongsun’s shirt. 

“You just had to ruin the moment.” Yongsun whined, but the smile that peeked through her pout spoke otherwise.

“This is a hospital shirt I’m assuming it’s meant to be dirtied, I’m just using it for its intended purpose.” Moonbyul let out a giggle, and Yongsun couldn’t stop craving to hear it again when it ended.

They sat there for as long as it took for their hiccups to go away, shoulder to shoulder overlooking the city below them, and truly letting the good weather soak in this time.

“So what now? We go back to our lives, and then what?” Moonbyul broke their silent reverie after a while, absentmindedly playing with the hospital tag around Yongsun’s wrist.

Yongsun was silent, because then it finally hit her. Now that Moonbyul was awake, and they were both okay, they had to go back into the throes of their realities. 

How does one move on from something like that? The last step out of the hospital was also going to be her first back as the actress Solar again, but even the best actresses wouldn’t be able to keep up any pretense that the past few weeks of her life never happened. 

They both needed time to heal, but Yongsun was an actress, and Moonbyul was her bodyguard, and God knows the world wasn’t going to give them time. 

“I don’t think I can go back to our lives, Byul.” Yongsun was expecting to turn and find confusion and protest, not the face of utter understanding she saw on Moonbyul. “I need a break from all of this. Maybe when I’m ready, I will pursue this all over again. Or maybe I’ll be my own boss. But whatever it is, I know that I need time away now. We both do.”

“What about Wheein?” 

“She’s already written her resignation letter. This has put her through enough. She didn’t want to send it in unless I was sure I was leaving too, but I told her to just do it, for herself.”

Moonbyul wasn’t quick enough to pick up the secret in those words. She ran her tongue across the tips of her teeth, thinking it over. 

“Wait, you’re leaving behind acting?” 

Yongsun nodded, watching her piece her words together.

“But isn’t this your dream? Both of you.”

“We realised this dream over and over. I think we both agree it's time to move on.”

Moonbyul didn’t like the solemn atmosphere that took over, as if they were mourning something that hadn't perished. She swallowed a gulp down, shifting to lay her head snugly on Yongsun’s shoulder.

“I will follow you anywhere you choose to go.” She felt the upturn of lips that flashed on Yongsun’s face in the way her shoulders fell with relief at her words. “And as for me, I think my officer will be happy to hear I’m finally accepting that trainer position back at the Academy.”

Moonbyul gauged the physical distance between them, deciding it wasn’t enough for her to be that brave saying her next words. “Bet he was waiting for the next time I got shot in duty so I will just accept that job alr-” 

That squeak she let out as Yongsun flung a hand at her in attack broke whatever was left of that stuffy atmosphere, and it made her happy how easy it now was to fall back into sync with her girlfriend. 

They sat there with only the sun and clouds as their company, until the nurses found them again, asleep on each other’s shoulders, hands still intertwined in the space between them.

Back out in the world outside of the hospital, words spread like fire. It was an overwhelming thought, imagining a whole city of people pointing their camera lenses on them, eyes and ears trained on their every move. News outlets released their own versions of the events, written to resemble fiction more than it was to reflect facts. 

It was daunting, but they were dauntless.

When it was time to step out into the world again, Yongsun and Moonbyul had never felt stronger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's still an epilogue to go, but i'm not going to give myself a deadline on that. this is the end of the fic, and i have so many things to say to yall, especially all those who've been commenting and accompanying me on this, on both ao3 and aff, but all those things would have to be saved for later. love yall, hope yall enjoyed this ride as much as i did <3


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